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Thread: room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

  1. #251
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    So cute, I talked to my parents last night, mom told me of all the meals she's planning, turkey dinner etc then dad talks to me about the truck lol I finally had to say Dad, i'll talk to you about it when I get there.

    I'm looking forward to driving up. So nice to get away from work for awhile mind you the freedom will enhance the 2ww obsession. Maybe not. Hopefully i'll relax.

    Shots are going well. My tummy is sore this time and I have welts from the meds. I'm not worried. It just shows me that they are 'working'.

    My heart was pounding at work, i went and got my blood pressure taken at the pharmacy machine... it was normal but it felt like my heart was racing at 108bpm. I feel good now.

    Just realized its two days till our first follie u/s.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  2. #252
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    One nice thing, its such a better experience having a transvaginal u/s done after your period is OVER!!

    I got to watch today which was nice, and boy those follies look so big on the screen, He measured 7 follies, I think there were three over 11 and one was 13 He said it was very good and it compares to a 'poor' ivf cycle. He said he wants us to have 3-4 follies and I said last two times I only had one ... he said it looked good an he will know more once my E2 was back.

    The nurse called me this afternoon and said we are to start using opk's tomorrow and my next U/S is on Sunday. After asking how this cycle compares so far with my previous two inject cycles... she told me that one cycle on day 5 of stims my E2 was 134, another cycle after 4 days was 389 and two days after it was 466. Today after 5 days of stims my E2 is


    1020!!!!!!!!!!!



    I don't know if this really means much for an IUI cycle but it sure has boosted my confidence and hope. I'm really excited.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  3. #253
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I worked the late shift, so dh came to drop off my dinner .... and give me my shot It went fine.

    Got home and my dog had puked, he's so sick... he got into the garbage while I was at work and ate anything and everything. We never give him people food, but I know he will sometimes find a crumb or whatever has fallen on the floor, but he must have ate TONNS of crap in the garbage. He puked for an hour. Finally he's sleeping. Poor thing. Then I made a comment to dh saying I wish everyone in the family would check on him when he's chewing stuff as I hear him do it and check and have to fish stuff out of his mouth once inawhile, they dont seem to notice. Well it was the wrong thing to say i guess as he got so p'd off at me 'i walk him i clean up his crap.....' now he's pouting in bed. Guess now that pup is sleeping i better go upstairs.....
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  4. #254
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Sunday we went for my second u/s. The RE measured three leading follicles, 15, 16 and 17. The number means how many millimeters the follic is in size, as an egg matures the follicle grows, once it reaches 15 it can possibly be fertilized. This was good news as my past cycles didn't produce this many leading follicles. He said he'd like to see me one day later. Then he said to 'talk' to my follies and tell them to grow and relax all day. So cute. I did a good job of that until it was evening. I'm fighting a cold again, all stuffed up and my nose kept running. I didnt take any medicine as I dont want to have any risks or lower our chances this month. I couldn't breathe in bed, so I couldn't sleep. I did get a few hours but I also was getting anxious about my progress.

    Today's u/s went AMAZING. My body did what it needed to do for a change.
    They all grew. I didnt get to watch today, but he showed me my chart with all of the measurements.... two 18's and a 20 He reminded us there was a chance of multiples, and DH says we dont want that so I shot him a dirty look and told him to shove it, but he meant we didnt want octuplets, twins were ok.... I just didnt want the dr to worry that we were only wanting a singleton.

    My lining is over 11 which is good and so I had my trigger shot. It is a shot that forces your eggs to do their final maturing and then ovulate the next day. Tomorrow will be my IUI. The re left and the nurse came back to give me my trigger shot and we were chatting. She said I have four good eggs. I said what? dh told me i forgot about the '16' one. CUte, he was paying attention. (the numbers represent the size of the follicle, the larger it is the more mature (to a point) )

    So I have a really good chance tomorrow, now its all up to my body and dh's sperm count. DH is telling me as I type this i'm officially grounded from the computer and have to go to bed and rest. I'm gonna follow his orders
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  5. #255
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Did I say i'm excited???? Going for a walk now to trade some of dh's unopened supplements for good prenatal vitamins
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  6. #256
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I missed lots of updates, sorry bout that.

    Dh's deposit was 'good'. 'enough to get the job done' according to the nurse. His count was awesome but only half were motile. After the wash the motility went up to 80% The actual IUI went amazing, the catheter went in perfectly with no cramping. I asked the nurse 'if we consider this to be our last 'try' would the RE consider giving me progesterone to help our chances?" She said they dont normally do that but she'd ask the dr. To my delight she came back saying I could pick up my prescription on the way out!!!
    I went home to rest (still sick with a cold). I was excited that I had lots of time off work to relax. The next day me and dss drove 12 hours north to visit my family. I've been here ever since. Today we woke up to -28 ! Yikes. Lots of snow on the ground too. I've had lots of good home cooking, relaxing days and visits with family. We have tomorrow to do some baking and then we are driving back home Tuesday. I have wed off then back to the old grind.

    Ive had a good time relaxing so far, but the obsessing is starting. I'm so scared to be dissapointed. If this cycle doesnt' work, I dont know what will. I fear loosing hope in my dreams of becoming a birth mother.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  7. #257
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    No I Havn'ttested, but i got an equally shocking morning.







    I lost my job of over 15 years. I'm 'not what they want anymore, my performance isn't up to par and they don't see it changing..."
    they offered a severance so basically they washed their hands of me.

    I have already applied for employment insurance.

    So even if i get good news this week, there goes the year of paid maternity leave I have been counting on for years....

    Shaking my head

    If i'm not pregnant i'll really go off the deep end.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  8. #258
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    thanks for your sympathy. I went on holidays, came back to work yesterday and had my boss accompanied with another boss take me 'out' and told me i'm not the right fit anymore for the compnay, that I'm not qualified to work in my position (hmm i've been doing the same job for 9 years and with the company since 1993) and they are 'not moving forward' with me. PLease hand over your keys.... and we wish you the best

    I was so shocked still am. one of the rudest things is they cut my extended medical off as of yesterday for my entire family. Oh and because I wouldn't sign a release form they are holding my money.

    I"m not a fighter so I want to just sign and get it over with but i don't want to be 'scrwd' over any worse than i already am so I called a lawyer referral service, for $25 they will give me 30 minutes to discuss what would be best course of action. I just hope they don't take a week to call me back for the appointment. I have the address, i'm thinking of just driving down to see if they can fit me in.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  9. #259
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I went over to visit my bff friday night. She treated me to a pedicure which I really enjoyed. I was able to relax for the hour. I've been an emotional wreck though. One thing i'm holding onto hope that i'm pregnant. I havn't tested since 10dpo which is a miracle, but I just can't take any more bad news. I need that hope right now, i'll have my answer tomorrow. My beta is tomorrow. I'm feeling twinges/cramping every once inawhile and i'm so nervous about that. I keep praying that if there is a little bean hiding in me, that the stress i'm under doesn't harm it.

    Last night I got a sudden painful cramp in my ankle, it was bizzare. DH said 'your pregnant, isn't that a symptom?" I love him and I hope it is a symptom.

    I received some very good advice regarding my work termination and i'm feeling slight relief on that note. "slight"

    Now i'm going to focus on getting my affairs in order financially.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  10. #260
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    The nurse called yesterday, Negative.

    I'm so emotionally drained I havn't even begun to grieve the loss of this opportunity for having a baby. I feel guilty that the wonderful gift I received of meds has been 'wasted' since it didn't work. Everything was perfect for us to conceive, the wonderful gift, my eggs, dh's deposit, even me loosing my job meant that if pregnant i'd now have time off at home to rest and grow a healthy baby.
    Nope, nothing now.

    The dr told me not to bother looking for work as i'm not fit for work at least one month. I agree. I can't even start to talk about how this termination has effected me and my family.

    Once I figure out a few financial/legal things then i'll be able to start to consider my ttc future.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

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