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Thread: room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

  1. #281
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    MY bff's daughter has been sick for almost a week now. Now she has a rash. THat worry's me. I offered to come over to visit and stay with K while mommy goes to work for a few days. BFF took me up on the offer. THen I was chatting with another gf and she said hmmm, has K had chicken pox or measles before? So I asked... after looking up pics online etc we think thats what she has, measles. She's already had chicken pox. Lovely. I know how dangerous Measles are to pregnant women but lets face it, there isn't much hope of that. I had my antibodies tested after 8 months ttc and found I had none so I got vacinated. That was two years ago so i'll be fine. Now I have to make sure I don't bring home any germs. I think my stepkids have had shots already for it.
    So i'm going today and not sure when i'm coming home. It will be nice, i'm sure i'll just be sitting around with K, on the computer while she watches movies etc. She is 9.
    Wish I had someone who could come over and babysit my teenage stepdaughter sometimes.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  2. #282
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Yesterday was so nice and sunny. I got to sit outside for an hour and soaked up lots of sun. Boy can 9 year old girls TALK!!! My ears hurt. she must be feeling better

    One of my friends thinks she's having a m/c. I'm so sorry for her. I'm sad that the 'innocence' of pregnancy is gone for her now. She had to ttc for along time to get her first boy so this was a wonderful blessing to get another bfp for her.

    It reminds me of how i'm so Jaded about my own fertility or shall i say infertility. Is that the right word? Never quite understood that word. But I think it fits. Its like I can't get over excited about ttc cause lets face it, it probably won't happen right now.

    Gotta get back home and start my prescribed diet. Maybe if I keep writing that down it will magically happen that I follow it
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  3. #283
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    back home today. I took a morning ferry back to the mainland and getting my tea I asked the cashier if there have been any killer whale sightings this summer yet. YES, this morning the first trip over saw them. She said don't worry the captain will announce it if he see's any.

    They are my fav animal, and one year I saw an entire pod of whales, maybe 20???

    TODAY, no announcement oh well. Next time.

    Glad to be back home. Its gorgeous and sunny. We went to dss's baseball game and got some sun. Now I think i'll go out and do some weeding and water my new garden.

    Gotta look at my ticker to see how much longer till af arrives for her party....
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  4. #284
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    its GORGEOUS weather right now. Sunshine and 19degrees. Yesterday I got a few more plants, and 6 tomato plants!!!! I feel like such a greenthumb lol. We were at home depot and I looked at the planters as I want some for the deck. The only ones deep enough for the tomatos were the gorgeous cedar ones at $50 each. Then I went to the lumber side with dh and said 'i'd love you to make me some planters' WOW was that ever a good idea, he was all over that. He was so proud and excited to make something for me. I saw some cheap cedar planks meant for cheap fencing and showed him those. Then I took him back to the garden centre and showed him the built ones so he knows what I want. Got all the stuff and he's gonna make them next weekend The yard will be so nice. We havn't done much to the home since getting married (we rent) and it doesn't feel 'homey' kwim? This year I plan on changing that. The garden looks good, grass is getting better and with the tomatos it will be so neat. Hope puppy doesnt eat them lol. I got the patio variety so they won't grow 6 feet tall.

    I still have to de-clutter. I have so many clothes that are too small but I can't get rid of them cause you know i'll eventually loose the weight lol. But my closet is literally overflowing, same with my drawers. I'm finally motivated to work on that. WOw what's gotten into me.
    Maybe i'm pregnant LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  5. #285
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    well, that wasn't a pregnancy sign, just temporary insanity

    AF is almost gone now and today is a new beginning. Dh and I started our diet today This diet means no coffee, pop, sugar, alcohol, red meat, pork, oil except olive, nuts, white flour and trying to eat more veggies. I'm sure some things we eat will have sugar, like the salsa i'm cooking chicken in, and some dressings but we are trying to limit that to a bare minimum. I'm excited to be starting this, I want to loose some weight. The diet is geared to my body and it is supposed to help clense my blood and immune system which will all be good for fertility.

    My prescribed diet is to be strict for three weeks. I guess after that I can add more foods in moderately.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  6. #286
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Day two of our diet, so far its going fine. Except I went for cheese and crackers but forgot that the crackers prob wern't a good idea, made from white flour and fatty. Yumm they were so good esp with the aged white cheddar we had with it.

    Tonight is whole wheat pasta with 'alfredo sauce'. I softened a diced onion with garlic in some evoo, then added water and boiled it for 5 min just to get the flavor into the water. Then I added milk and have let it sit for two hours to let the flavors 'mingle'. Then i'll make the macaroni and layer it with sliced chicken breast, cheese and pour the milk sauce all over it. Bake and it will hopefully be good as i've never made it before. I have made a mac/cheese like this with milk and tomato juice and it was really good. Hope noone notices the pasta isn't white.

    Had a big rager with Dh. Over money what else. We had an appointment with a financial councillor today at my bank... an hour before he's asking for a convertible for us to have fun in the summer with... is he going thru an early midlife crisis or something? Um ya ok, lets spend money on that. money that we dont have. So we still went, the lady was awesome when he brought up a big screen tv, WHAT? NO: dont do it she said

    He just needs to get something new all the time to make himself feel good. I don't trust him or anyone right now and thats my hardship.

    OMG I just remembered. Two years ago this week my parents came for a visit and during that Time I told them I was pregnant. They are coming down tomorrow for a visit again.... no news this time.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  7. #287
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I took mom and dad shopping today. Nowhere special just some shops and Walmart. I scored with some really cute t's and tanks, all from the plus section. I'm so glad i'm starting this diet now so maybe i'll actually be able to fit some shorts this summer. Better get cracking on the diet hardcore though.

    Today Dh and I both went to physio. My but hurts Thats another goal of mine, to get to physio, do the exercises prescribed and also go to acupuncture. That and follow a diet and loose a few lbs. Keep walking and just focus on getting healthy and happy.

    The physiotherapist asked AGAIN if I'd had any surguries that could have caused scar tissue .... my kinesiologist tested my body and it say's my back pain is from scar tissue along with my L3 being 'out'. Who knows where my scar tissue is from though. Hopefully we can get some progress though and have some days without pain.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  8. #288
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Had an ok day. Went for a nice long walk with dh and pup this morning, did some gardening, made bbq chicken and salad for dinner.... sigh time for bed.

    One more girl has lapped me on this site. Kindof ticks me off. Oh well, happy for her. I should be used to it.

    I found my thermometer today. I've been thinking of using it.... maybe tomorrow.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  9. #289
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Today was day two of temping again. I'm excited to 'see' my charts again. Oh Oh, this could be bad

    I tried using my microscope but it didnt work. I followed the directions but I think the slide is scratched and/or the scope is dirty or something. Didn't look right. Maybe i'll try tomorrow. Its more involved so i'm not that excited about it.

    I have no opk's so thats not tempting me. I have a few hpts though. Its been two months since i've tested. Its been nice, not sure If I want to start that obsession again.

    My diet... well its week one. I've had no alcohol, but not been that great with the other stuff, like i've had crackers with white flour, I made pizza with half wheat crust and put sausage on it

    Dh and I went to the gym, not to work out but to use the scale and leave today I was upset with my weight. It looks like i've gained weight this week!!! I'm not cooking light just trying to avoid 'the list'. Gotta start making lower cal/fat dishes.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  10. #290
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Well, its official. I'm depressed and suffering from anxiety. My depression isn't 'bad' but I stress out over EVERYTHING. And i'm taking my life back. I can't sleep well (I tend to have problems falling asleep now and then) as soon as my head hits the pillow I start worrying about the car's if they are locked, the house, the stove, what my step kids have/havn't done bills and on and on, and then I start all over again.

    Today I went to the dr, was resigned to getting help to sleep, he suggested me getting on something more for all day long... and I agreed. Of course I asked if it would be safe for ttc and he said 'honey it might be worth your while to get happy first" and he's right.

    So no i'm not quitting ttc, but right now i'm gonna have to try and put it on the back burner and focus on ME first. He said 'we like to have you off everything when getting pregnant but....' so if I fall pregnant it would probably be ok..... risk/benefit I guess.

    It seems like everyone around me can get pregnant so I might as well do whats possible for me and getting healthy IS possible if I try. (healthy = loose weight and get my back feeling better)
    I'm probably going to take the summer off work.... but i'm thinking of maybe working one day a week, getting a little extra money. I'd love to serve meals at a retirement home.. something like that. I won't pursue anything for another month though, let the new meds start working.

    Thanks for listening girls, i'm really sad that this is happening to me. I really wish it could be my turn soon, next would be nice but I know that if I can relax my brain a bit and turn the stress down it will be easier for my miracle to happen.

    I"m not going anywhere, this is my home still and in saying all of this maybe it will make a surprise happen for me.

    Love Deb
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

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