room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

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SoCaliLover's picture
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
Joined: 12/07/06
Posts: 1591

Deb! So glad to hear from you! I have thought of you often, Congrats on 50lbs! Must feel so nice to do something for you!

Do you have any contact with (or do you want any contact with) your step kids? After all you gave that relationship, its so hard to hear that exDH was so mean and selfish. He has no idea what he lost.

I hope you do find that perfect job, but take time for you and for the healing you so deserve! KUP!

wishing4agirl's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/11/03
Posts: 917

Oh my goodness!! It is so nice to hear from you. I have missed hearing what you are up too. Wow 50 lbs! Way to go. What an accomplishment. You are an amazing soul and my prayers going out for you often. You never know where life will take you. Please kup on how you are doing and what you are up too.

mommaphoebs's picture
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 07/16/06
Posts: 159

Hi Deb. I haven't been on here in forever, but wanted to check in on you. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. Unbelievable. I wish you the best and if I can be of any encouragement to you, please just ask. Hope you're hanging on with your local cong and getting help. Hugs!!!!!!

deborah74's picture
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
Joined: 12/14/05
Posts: 698

Hi Internet universe I see this forum isn't very popular anymore but feel the need to post today. I don't come to this site anymore than once/twice per year. Today is the anniversary of my babies EDD. I went thru a major depression one year ago in the months approaching my 40 birthday. To me that age felt like the last nail on the coffin of my chances for having my own child grow in my womb. I also had a friend/ex call me to say he was expecting his first with a woman he was madly in love with but he had to beg her to marry him as she often said I don't want to be with u.. Yet he's with her less than a few months and guess what she gets.... That call instantly thru me into a mental tailspin. I went into a very dark hole for about 6 months.

Meanwhile I've been feeling too tired and old to care for a child however the desire... Well I'm sure many can understand.
My gyno told me she had no worries if I got pregnant at 40, the main risk is miscarriage not fetal abnormalities.
I want the family though not just a baby. I want to be the mother of my lovers child, but there wasn't anyone to fill that role in my life.

I turn 41 in a few weeks. I'm sad with my babies EDD here, not as much for that loss but for the entire life I lost, children, grandchildren, feelings that my life is worthless.

Thankfully I'm back on anti anxiety/depression meds that work well. I have a good although stressful job. I have been travelling a lot which brings me lots of pleasure.

It doesn't hurt near as much to see glowing women it baby clothes but it does still keep the scars on my heart.

I hope if there are any people currently struggling... You will get stronger I promise. Yes it sucks but the pain will ease. This week has just been a bit hard on me leading up to my babies EDD but I will be honest, it wasn't on my mind much. I'd only think about it every few days this week...

Missing my old ttc group. Would love to see updated pics of your beautiful families!
Love deb

MissyJ's picture
Last seen: 3 months 4 weeks ago
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3289

Hi Deb! It is so good to hear from you! Smile Sorry for the delayed response. We had a remodeling project that was supposed to be complete 2 weeks before Christmas and instead didn't START 'til Christmas week. (As I type the noise continues. :P)

I'm glad you are doing better -- although dealing with stress on the job is tough! I'll keep hoping that eases for you.

The traveling sounds great! Where all have you visited? Also - how are your parents doing? I've been continuing to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

While I know your life has taken a different path than you envisioned, my wish is for you to feel continuously loved and supported by family & friends.

Thanks for checking in! (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))