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Thread: In Search of Our First Little Bean-We'd Even Take Two Beans!

  1. #11
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    2002-10-09 05:33

    WOW....I can't believe it's been a whole month (tomorrow) since I last wrote. I haven't NOT been TTC, I've just had a lot going on. So, my folks left and our lives have gotten back to normal - somewhat. DH is still debating about upgrading us to an Eastern King, but now it's b/c it would be HUGE in our room. His latest thing is wanting a nicer car - either a previously owned BMS 330i or an M3, now possibly a mercedes. He works hard, and really deserves it...I'm just worried about our financing. I guess that if he's not worried, I shouldn't be either - he's such a stickler for money and not spending any...

    On the TTC front...I'm on CD 15. Last cycle was frustrating. I put on about 6 pounds and DH and I TOTALLY thought I was preggo. I think I figured when I O'd, and on Monday Sept. 23rd AF was due. Monday came and went, and I felt so bloated, and saw a faint faint tinge of red/pink on the tp when I wiped first thing int he morning. I thoguht that was implantation bleeding. Pretty much all of Monday DH and I were convinced I was pregant; DH even said that if I wasn't pregnant I was really fat - comforting. AF showed up the next morning. I called and scheduled an HSG, scheduled for Monday the 30th, for which I was going to call in sick to work. On Friday the 27th I got fired. This was a blow, but for the best. I was miserable, my boss was/is a *****, and I was only happy when doing events and I had been pulled off the team to focus on the budget. I was really hoping to hold out and last longer than her, but it wasn't meant to be. I'm still convinced that she's leaving the firm, and this was her final push before she quite.

    Well, the day of the HSG came, and the nurse and radiologist were fantastic. They explained what was going to happen ahead of time, they let DH in with me (Thank G-d), and expalined what they were doing along the way. Unfortunately, the tech couldn't find my cervix opening, so he had to give up. AAARRGGHH!!! TOTALLY FRUSRATING!!!!!!!!!!!! As we left the non-HSG, I called my OB/GYN for an annual (it had been over 3 years) and to see if she could dilate my cervix. I got an appt. in two days - unbelievable!!!

    Wednesday came, and my OB/GYN found my cervix - it is a small opening and pointing down. She said that she wants to do my HSG, but the hospital won't let her do it this week, so we'll have to do it NEXT cycle!!!! DOUBLE AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    On CD10 I happen to take my temp at 7 a.m. and it was 96.1...

    Fast forward to CD13/this past Sunday....DH and I went for a looong bike ride, and when we got home I went potty and wiped and a whole mess of EWCM came pouring out on the kleenex. DH was in the shower and I told him that when he gets out we're doing some serious BDing!! The weird thing is that I didn't see any EWCM since that wipe?? I'm somewhat hopeful that I actually was Oing b/c the next day my temp was 97.1. Now, if I can only wake up at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning and test my temp...!!!

    Just tonight, DH patted my belly and asked if I thought I was makin' a baby in there! I certainly hope so...

    PROMISE to write more later...

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  2. #12
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    Posted: 2002-11-14 13:08

    It has been a looooooooong time since I last wrote, and a lot has happened. My last cycle was 25 days. I am currently on CD27 and about 15-17 days past ovulation and no sign of AF, and my temps have been staying high. I am also sick. I am dying to test but really want to hold off for another week (YIKES!!!) if no AF.

    I want to test on either a Sunday or a Wednesday (my mom always says the sun always shines on a Wednesday, which is the day my brother and I were both born on), so I was thinking of testing NEXT Wednesday when I would be home alone. No luck! DH is going to be home b/c we're having work done in our backyard and he wants to set them up before he leaves for work for a few hours, to come back home for when I leave for work at 12:30. Maybe I can hold off peeing in the morning and pee when he leaves around 9:30/10:00 a.m. I'm trying to find out also if I can pee when I first wake up and then pee on an HPT test a bit later. I really want to test by myself, b/c I have a good feeling this month took (I think I O'd right after my HSG - which looked really good) and I want to surprise him that night at dinner.

    I'm also trying to figure out how to surprise him. I was thinking about making a really romantic dinner and giving him the HPT test in a box in a box in a box, the last box wrapped in baby wrapping paper!!! I also wanted to get a bib that said I Love My Daddy, or something like that. Also, DH and I have been joking that when he finally gets me pregnant I'll give him a ____ (fill-in the blank). I was thinking about putting in a coupon for one - he should really get the hint then!!! I'm excited, but I also don't want to jinx it.

    OK...deep, calm breathes. I'm sooo nervous. If I'm not pregnant this month, then we'll probably have to go in for an IUI b/c my cervix openign is sooooo very small and soooo pointed down - not easy for the spermies to find their way!!

    I really don't know what else to write. I'm nervous. Hey - is it a good sign that as I write this, the advertisement up top is for Early-Pregnancy-Test.com?? I sure hope so!!

    OK...wish me luck - maybe I'll pee tomorrow morning - what a nice way to start the weekend. I could even do a Shabbat dinner and tell him that it's customary to give somebody a gift at their first Shabbat dinner (he's never been to one) and give him the box then?!?!?! That would be funny. Oh, I've got butterflies in my tummy (or is it a baby in my uterus??)!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  3. #13
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    Posted: 2002-11-14 13:09

    It has been a looooooooong time since I last wrote, and a lot has happened. My last cycle was 25 days. I am currently on CD27 and about 15-17 days past ovulation and no sign of AF, and my temps have been staying high. I am also sick. I am dying to test but really want to hold off for another week (YIKES!!!) if no AF.

    I want to test on either a Sunday or a Wednesday (my mom always says the sun always shines on a Wednesday, which is the day my brother and I were both born on), so I was thinking of testing NEXT Wednesday when I would be home alone. No luck! DH is going to be home b/c we're having work done in our backyard and he wants to set them up before he leaves for work for a few hours, to come back home for when I leave for work at 12:30. Maybe I can hold off peeing in the morning and pee when he leaves around 9:30/10:00 a.m. I'm trying to find out also if I can pee when I first wake up and then pee on an HPT test a bit later. I really want to test by myself, b/c I have a good feeling this month took (I think I O'd right after my HSG - which looked really good) and I want to surprise him that night at dinner.

    I'm also trying to figure out how to surprise him. I was thinking about making a really romantic dinner and giving him the HPT test in a box in a box in a box, the last box wrapped in baby wrapping paper!!! I also wanted to get a bib that said I Love My Daddy, or something like that. Also, DH and I have been joking that when he finally gets me pregnant I'll give him a ____ (fill-in the blank). I was thinking about putting in a coupon for one - he should really get the hint then!!! I'm excited, but I also don't want to jinx it.

    OK...deep, calm breathes. I'm sooo nervous. If I'm not pregnant this month, then we'll probably have to go in for an IUI b/c my cervix openign is sooooo very small and soooo pointed down - not easy for the spermies to find their way!!

    I really don't know what else to write. I'm nervous. Hey - is it a good sign that as I write this, the advertisement up top is for Early-Pregnancy-Test.com?? I sure hope so!!

    OK...wish me luck - maybe I'll pee tomorrow morning - what a nice way to start the weekend. I could even do a Shabbat dinner and tell him that it's customary to give somebody a gift at their first Shabbat dinner (he's never been to one) and give him the box then?!?!?! That would be funny. Oh, I've got butterflies in my tummy (or is it a baby in my uterus??)!!

    I knew I wanted to add something. If I am indeed pregnant, then my EDD would be July 26, 2003 - WOW I can't believe that. Again, don't want to get my hopes up...

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  4. #14
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    Posted: 2002-11-18 14:13

    I decided to post what I wrote on the TTC 0-6 months board...

    Today is CD31 and no sign of AF. Unfortunately I haven't had normal cycles since stopping BCPs. My first three completed cycles have been in this order: 55 days, 40 days, 25 days. I have just started having slight, slight possible preggo symptoms: tender boobs, very tired, slight slight nausea, belly pains (but not like AF), an unsually high amount of CM, and predictions up the wazoo!!

    Here's my chart - I haven't updated it since last week (I left my calendar of temps and CM at home - I'm at my folks house) but my temps have stayed high and I have had A TON of CM (which DH even noticed Sorry - TMI!!!)...

    http://www.pregnancy.org/modules/Pho...TTC-Charts/aad


    SO here's the game plan: This morning I was sitting on the porcelain throne debating about peeing...I would have to get up and go into the bedroom where Sleeping Beauty (DH) was still in bed, and he'd hear me get the test from the cabinet and he'd hear me open it up. I've decided that tonight I wil plant the test in the bathroom (unfortunately we don't have an under the sink cabinet, but we do have one over the toilet and DH NEVER goes in there) along with a pee cup, and test tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. I'm sooo nervous and scared - I want it to be a BFP, but I'm worried that it will be a BFN AGAIN!

    I had a weird thing happen on Friday, along the lines of Kelly's dream, but this wasn't a dream! I was out in the play yard with my kiddies, and we were just heading in. I turned around and shouted bye to the group that was still out there (which I NEVER do). A little girl (who I don't know) came running up to me and gave me a hug, then patted my belly and said "You have a baby in there" - I was stunned beyond words. All I could say was no (and wanted to add that I'm just fat, but didn't think that was right for a 4 year old to hear that kind of thing!! ) I was so shocked, I went in and told my TA, who laughed about it. I talked to her about it 2x I was so shocked and stunned. I'm thinking that the girl's mom is probably pregnant and she's just transferring that to me...but I'm still hoping the girl is a prophet!!!!


    Here's my horoscope for the week of November 18th through November 24th. Creepy b/c July 26th (EDD) is a Leo (see signs to seek) and I'm planning on testing on a Tuesday!!!!

    TAURUS
    You are at the height of excitability during Tuesday's Full Moon, as it occurs in your sign. You can make the most of this annual
    occasion by picking a partner to be yourself around. This is one spotlight you will enjoy shining in.
    Your luck this week*

    Love: A
    Money: B
    Work: B

    Signs to Seek: Leo, Pisces
    Signs to Avoid: Virgo, Capricorn

    I'll write more after Testing Tuesday!!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  5. #15
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    Posted: 2002-11-18 23:29

    Still CD31 - my second post for the day....

    I am sooooo nervous for tomorrow morning when I'll test. What will I do if it's a BFN?? What will I do if it's a BFP?? I feel soooo weird about not telling DH right away. I really want to do a nice surprise, but I don't know if I can hold it in from telling him.

    I'm very "stupid-stitious" and don't want to jinx my luck by visiting the July 2002 board. Heck, I feel like I'm jinking it by even thinking it, much less typing it in. I even feel like I jinxed it by figuring out the due date. Oh, woe is me!!!!

    uuuuggggghhhh!!!!! The Wait!!!!

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  6. #16
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    Posted: 2002-11-19 13:04

    CY4, CD32

    I tested this morning just after 7 a.m. pst. BFN. Really upset over it. I didn't cry, and I haven't told DH yet, but reading all the posts and encouraging words from the TTC0-6 month board, has brought big, fat, hairy tears to my eyes - and I DON'T cry (didn't even shed a tear at our wedding while DH and my dad were crying like babies!!).

    I have already taken the next step, and have put a call in to my OB/GYN's office asking for a blood test. I was reading the insert that came with the HPT (the brand was Fact Plus) and it said that certain medications and illnesses might not get a reading. Maybe this is true and with my Crohn's disease, I can't get a reading (I'm still holding out hope!!). I will go in today for a blood test.

    I really just want to be pregnant and move on to the next 9 months. I'm not sure what's going to happen if I'm not pregnant this cycle, we might have to do a IUI - where they take DH's sperm and inject it through my cervix when I'm Oing - IF I O. I guess they'd put me on Clomid to get that correct. I'm just so upset. I really don't want to type any more. I've got a TON of stuff to do around the house and errands to run before I work in 3.5 hours.

    I'll write more when I know more.

    -J


    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  7. #17
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    Posted: 2002-12-20 13:19

    So I'm really confused and upset - WHERE IS THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNAL??????????? I know they're deleting old posts, but I thought our journals were safe????!?!?!?!!??? I know I'm not on here a whole lot but I didn't think that mattered????

    Anyway, on to my post...

    Well, today is CD29, and I think I O'd (or at least was trying to O) around CD17/18. I am expecting AF around Monday the 22nd (or CD31). If I get AF, then I start Chlomid. Also, today it will officially be 7 months of TTC. I guess I'm on to the TTC 7+ months board. I'll wait for AF to come this cycle then move on over...

    On a side note - weird things have been happening, but I don't want to read into things like I did last cycle...

    It's been STORMING here, and I told DH about the time my mom was pregnant with me and was trying to go to work in Marin and had to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. The bridge was actually FLOODED!!! and the police were stopping everyone who tried to cross to see where they lived or what they did for a living. Only Doctors, and I think Firemen and policemen, and (for some reason) teachers were allowed over!! My mom was a teacher and NOT happy about this. When I told DH he said - maybe you're pregnant!! I think that's wishful thinking. According to my temps, I didn't have a spike in temperature, and the OPK never got a dark or darker test line result. Also, my CM never really got good and EWCMie. Here's my chart so I have it all in the same place...

    http://www.pregnancy.org/modules/Pho...TTC-Charts/aag

    Anyway, I'm also wearing my aircast right now - my achilles tendon is giving me pains!! I also haven't been feeling great and have wanted to throw up a few times the past few days and have actually burped stomach bile (sorry, tmi). I really don't know what's wrong with me. If I don't get AF by Monday the 29th, I'll test Wednesday morning - which I just realized will be xmas day - what a GREAT present, but again, I'm not holding out any hopes....

    That's it for me. I REALLY miss you this site - I kinda wish having a job where I'm in front of a computer all day, but I love working with the kids! I just feel so out of it when I check in on my TTC 0-6 month friends - I don't know a lot of people!!! Hopefully I can log on more during the holidays....

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  8. #18
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    Posted: 2003-01-10 00:25

    So something weird is happening! MY WHOLE JOURNAL SHOWED BACK UP!!!! YEAH!!! I'm SOOO happy!!! Time to pee on a stick!!!! Today is CY6, 7th month, CD12, first cycle on Clomid. Had my CD12 U/S today - vaginal, fun! There are two follicles in my left ovary that are great in size - 22.4 mm and 24 mm. I also got a shot of HCG to help release the follicles. I'm really nervous and scared. I can't believe that this might actually be happening. DH wasn't thrilled with the shot, but he knew I wanted it and my theory is that we've come this far it would really suck if I don't release the follicles! He wants things to happen when they happen. Men!!!

    I'm happy, excited, and nervous!

    Oh, I also joined the TTC 7+ board - I feel like I've jsut graduated from elementary school - it's nice to be with women who are going through what I'm going through. It's been really though on the 0-6 board b/c so many pop on midway throug their cycle (sometimes at the end) and end up pregnant. There are some of us who are having such a hard time trying to get pregnant - it's just hard to have people that it's so easy for. Don't get me wwrong - I'm happy for them, it's just...it would be nice for that to be me.

    That's about it for my end right now. Waiting to see what happens. My goal is that if AF doesn't show up on her due date, January 25th, then I'll test January 29th - the sun always shines on a Wednesday!!

    WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  9. #19
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    Posted: 2003-01-13 15:26

    So, I got the HCG shot Thursday. I've been an emotional, silly girl since. Friday I was crying while driving to work because my grandma asked if she had a walkman at her house and I knew the answer. I was crying because with who else (besides my folks) will/do I have that relationship? Also, they won't be here foreer and I'm slowly coming to terms. Saturay morning, after , I was "doin' the Audra" (on my belly with my tush up in the air) rading the last ten pages of a 636 page book (The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay) while DH watched SpongeBob Squarepants. I was crying like a little baby!! DH also said that I've started getting into my silly moods, like I used to before I stopped BCPs, so I guess that's a good sign - my body is acting right!

    Last night DH and I are at dinner and we're chatting about my cycle and the HCG shot. So far, I'd gotten negative OPKs and I was losing hope since the Dr. said I should O within 36 hours after the shot Thursday afternoon. Me and my great math brain thought that would be by Sunday afternoon. DH said by Friday night!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! I started getting really sad at dinner, but decided to use an OPK anyway when I got home. I peed on the stick and before the five minutes were up I could tell it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first one in over 3-4 cycles of using OPKS!!!! DH was in the other bathroom so I ran it into him. He said it was definately darker, but didn't seem impressed. I started to get on the computer to type this to you guys and he asked what I was doing - I should be going to the bedroom with my legs spread (ain't he a charmer?? ) I started to but then we discussed it: I needed to jump in the shower and dry my hair. After that Well, by the time we went to bed, DHs tummy was upset. We fell asleep around 11:30 p.m. I ended up waking up at exactly 3:00 a.m. I seduced him and for 20 minutes we try but it wasn't working. He tells me to go potty and he takes some meds for his tummy. We reconven in the bedroom and start in again. Well....the bed starts squeaking LOUDLY and I say "I hope the neighbors can't hear it" (an eldrly fairly-deaf couple whose bedroom wall we share). That was the deal breaker. We go to the floor to avoid the squeaky bed, but DH can't finish. I just wanted to cry, but didn't want to hurt his feelings. He held me and said he ws sorry. We talked and he said he kept seeing the CD12 U/S images of the follicles, all the test sticks, temps...everything was too clinical for him. I felt so bad and worry that if we wait to BD until tonight we've missed our chance to catch the eggy.

    I feel bad for getting so upset about not BDing, but I was really selfish and not even thinking about what he was going through. Why does this have to be sooo very difficult???

    I guess we will just keep BDing and hope we catch the eggy. It does me NO good to worry about it!

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  10. #20
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    Posted: 2003-01-19 12:08

    CY6, CD 22, 6DPO

    This has been an interesting week. I swear that if I didn't know better, I would think I was pregnant. I've been nauseous, really tired, and have had slight cramping on my left uterus (where I would ovulate from). I really just don't know what's going on with me. I am soooo hoping I'm preggo this cycle, and I think I'm psyching myself out that I am. I have a REALLY bad feeling that if I'm not, I'll be REALLY disappointed! I went to a career day at Hamlin's on Friday and at least FOUR women were preggo!!! out of 20 or so. Also, out of 16 families in my classroom, eight have just had a baby within the last year, three are pregnant and five there are not pregnant or I can't tell yet. So, yeah, that's not hard!!!

    This 2WW is for the birds (what ever that means!! ) I am sooo used to not really knowing what is goin on in my cycle that now I know I'm ovulating, and counting until AF is NOT going to show up, I'm going crazy - it's really all I think about...

    The good thing is that DH and I are still really enjoying each other and - this has been a nice change in our relationship. It's mainly my fault - sometimes it's hard for me to BD b/c of my health, but I've been learning to relax and enjoy things.

    Anyway...Must go, Stop Obsessing!!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

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