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Thread: In Search of Our First Little Bean-We'd Even Take Two Beans!

  1. #21
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    Posted: 2003-01-21 23:16

    CY6, CD24, 8DPO

    Something's going on, but I don't want to read too much into it. I have been nauseous and really gassy for a few days (but that could be from all the JUNK food we ate yesterday - a bag of popcorn, icee, candy, Tommy's Joynt dinner). I have also been REALLY tired - was dozing off while babysitting today, whoops (but that could be from the fact that we haven't gone to bed before midnight for the past 2 days). My boobs are REALLY tender - DH realized this yesterday, and today WALKING up and down the stairs they were sore. I really don't want to read in to too much, but it's sooo hard not to. I've decided I'm testing on January 29th: that will be 16DPO and CD32 - that should be good enough. I really just need to hold out for another 8 days...I can do that, right???

    Sometimes DH can be such a twit!! For example, **I** won this big Downtown Get Down prize package (was the grand prize) at the SF Beer festival last year, and the package has a free night at Palomar, a top hotel; dinner for 2 at XYZ; drinks at the Martini Lounge; Lunch for 2 at Tommy Toy's; 2 tickets to an ACT show; and 2 tickets to SFMOMA. We're planning on using the hotel for our 5 year official dating anniversary on March 20th, but they're sold out that weekend - I checked for the following weekend, and they're all open AND have a CHEAP A$$ rate - so we're getting TWO nights for a total of $360 bucks, AND still have over $100 left over!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SOOO excited and when I mentioned this to DH he said, "Yeah, we'll just talk about this when I get home" - gee, thanks for the enthusiasm. I know he's at work, but he's always SOOOO sceptical!! Why can't he just say, "Good Job, let's talk more tonight." For once, I would LOVE for him to think POSITIVELY!!! instead of soooo flippin' negatively!!!

    Ugh....vent done - not good for me!!! That's about it for me right now. Oh, wait - I've beenhaving REALLY weird and very VISUAL dreams lately.

    1. Saturday Night I dreamed that we were having an earthquake and it was one BIG jolt, but nobody else seemed concerned about it.
    2. Sunday Night I dreamt that I was meeting Sharon/NomiMom - we were expecting to see each other, and I just somehow recognized her. We also had a lot of children around us, that I knew were our kids.
    3. Monday Night I don't remember what I dreamed about, but I totally remembered when I woke up - it should come to me later today, and I'll post it. I do remember that it was REALLY viivd when I woke up. OOOOH....I dreamed that I had to get 1 tspn each of oregano, basil, and rosemary for work (which is a preschool) today (which I really did have to do). I forgot to take it to school today, so I met up with some old college friends AT my high school, and they helped me get together the herbs I needed. I ended up waking up early (4:30 a.m.) from this dream, worrying about this - I guess it was affecting me more than I realized!!!

    That's another weird thing, I have been waking up so flippin' early! Sunday morning at 5:30 a.m. and going back to sleep until 7:00, Monday Morning at 6:30 and going back to sleep until 8:00, this morning at 4:30 then again at 6:15 when I set my alarm for 6:30 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!?????

    That's it for now - AGAIN!! I really wish this rain would stop - the roof is creaking and I'm worried it will cave in!!!! Just what I need!!!

    -J


    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

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  2. #22
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    Posted: 2003-01-24 11:57

    Wednesday I woke up at 4:00, 5:30, 6:30, 7:00.

    Thursday I had another symptom: close to puking my guts out at work!! April said "Could you be pregnant?!?!" Geez, how do you answer that when nobody knows?? I just said, "gee, I don't think so." Also at DH's work, one of his coworkers brought in his newborn and that got him thinking that this might actually be it!! We're both excited, but don't want to jinx it!!

    We talked Wednesday night and he wants to keep this between just he and I for at least a month!! HOW CAN I DO THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!????? He said it would be really special if just we knew about it at least for awhile! Ugh!!!!!!!!

    Now today I'm kinda freaking out b/c I was counting myself as 11DPO, but FertilityFriend is counting it at 9DPO! I really wanted to test earlier, like on Sunday or Monday, but now I just don't know what to think....I'm still feeling sick - and now I've got a sore throat, but no other flu like symptoms. It's getting harder and harder to NOT test! Last night DH asked me if I was prepared to test - I counted THREE HPTs!! AAAARRRGGHHH!!!!! SOmeone suggested posting my chart on the temping/charting board and get their opinions - I think I'll do that and post the results next....

    OK....I need to not dwell....maybe I should learn to knit this weekend.......keep me occupied!!

    -J


    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  3. #23
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    Posted: 2003-01-25 11:07

    It's Sunday and again I couldn't sleep. My jean have felt tight on me, I've had a lot of acid reflux, and have been soooo very tired. I just don't want to get my hopes up, but it's so hard not to. I almost tested this morning but then realized it was Saturday. Maybe, maybe, I'll test tomorrow and NOT tell Cody!! I would LOVE to surprise him, but he knows I'm suppossed to test on Wednesday. Oh, the stress and agony. I really don't know what I'll do if it's a BFN. I thikn I've really psyched myself out that it's going to be positive, but I'm such a worrier, that what if it's negative?? Can't think like that. Not yet!!

    There are a lot of 7+ gals who are nearing the end of their 2WW: Shannan, Elizabeth, Mini, Amanda - hang on girls - WE WILL GET BFPs!!! We just have to wait our turn.

    Well, I'm off to finish scoping out the boards, Uploading Hope's baby pics - just amazing, and then finishing up my biz cards. What a fun ol' day I have!!! Then I get to clean for our Super Bowl party tomorrow - YEAH!!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  4. #24
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    Posted: 2003-01-30 02:03

    CD3, CY7, 8th Month...

    AF showed up at 2:30 a.m. on Monday morning while DH and I were going to bed. I thought that it might have been just some spotting, but no dice - it's AF. I'm upset, but not too badly. On Thursday or Friday I woke up thinking "I'm Not Pregnant" and I really haven't felt anything over the weekend except for pressure in my left uterus. Also, I broke down and used an HPT Sunday morning and it was a BFHairyN

    It was hard to go to sleep Sunday night/Monday morning knowing AF was here, so I did a lot of thinking and planning - I called Costco to see how much Clomid and HCG cost. Generic clomid is more than half the cost at Walgreen's !!! I then called my OB's office to told them what happened (or didn't happen) this cycle and they're continuing me on clomid and I'm going to go in for another U/S on CD12 (next Friday). DH is suppossed to go in for a SA later this week (or I more likely I will carry it in!!). I'm having a hard time getting him to stop drinking beer and laying off ! I'm sure it's a hard thing to go in and figure out if you're the problem, but I really don't know why he's having a hard time about it now. Last cycle he was really supportive and caring and saying that he would do it without a problem. He just wanted me to go through my first cycle of clomid in case it worked. If it didn't work the first cycle, then he'd go in for a SA. Men!!!!!!! :violent5:

    I'm OK. I know that now that I'm Oing I CAN get preggo - it's just going to take a few cycles. Hopefully DH isn't a problem...

    THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    On a funny note...on Monday Rocky got his head stuck in a little Victoria's Secret bag that has a bunch of extra junk of mine from my purse that's at the shoemakers getting fixed...

    All of a sudden, I hear the two cats come thundering down the hall. The first thought I have is earthquake, I am in San Francisco. Then I see Minka (the brown one) running first, with Rocky (the white one) running second - with the bag around his head!!

    Not only that, but all this crap is flying outta the bag - coupons, pictures, dental floss, etc. He runs down the hallway, into our bedroom, back down the hallway to the front of the house (at which point I'm chasing him to get him to stop), he runs back to the back of the house, and I shut the door dividing the front and the back... I get him into our back AV room, and he's behind the couch. I just take it right off his head!! DUMMY!!! There is NOTHING in it!! I go into our bedroom and ALL the coupons are strewn on the floor, the pics are every where. I've got quite a job to clean up. The other cat is still under our bed - and she NEVER goes there. He must have really scared the two of them! I'm still shaking a bit - the noise the two of them made was sooo terrifying!!

    What a way to lighten up my day!!!


    CD three, first of second round of clomid. I think it's time for me to go to beddie by - I'm tired...

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  5. #25
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    Posted: 2003-02-01 18:21

    CY7, CD6, 8th month

    Cody is being a total jerk today!! Maybe he took a few of my clomid!! He blew up at my grandparents house to my mom b/c my dad flaked today (which happens to be his 56th birthday). Later he started screaming at me in the car b/c I wanted to take my car and not his, and his was parked in last so I would have to move it to get to mine. He told me I was a f-ing baby, so I gave him the keys to my car and took his keys, and told him to go f-himself, and slammed the door.

    I am ALWAYS the one to call after him and track him down and apologize - NOT THIS TIME! I am sooo fed up with his SHORT fuse - it's not fair. When I finally got back home from running errands, he was here. I sat down and came on line - he started givng me a REALLY good back rub and in a cutsy sort of way started asking me why we push each others buttons. Now he's acting as if nothing is wrong. I really don't need this. I know we're both under a lot of stress with money, his work, my work, and stuff, but this is when we need each other most - not treating each other like the dirt we walk on. We really need to seek couples counseling - we have to do somethign about his BAD temper.

    OK....venting over...

    Nothing really new to report on my cycle - just day 6, will take my fourth clomid today so tomorrow is the last one, then in for an u/s on Friday. Cody won't be coming with me b/c he's got to work. I figure that this u/s will be when they detect something wrong with me - b/c he won't be there for moral support.

    Well, back to my crappy day...

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  6. #26
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    Posted: 2003-02-03 01:44

    CY7, CD7, 8th Month....

    Well...got DH to agree to a date for his SA. He seems to think it's not really necessary - I don't think so! He seems to think that he can't go 3 days without - trust me, he's gone longer!! I had to :lew: b/c he was begging for it - I had a dule that was NO WASTED SPERM!!! And I told him that when I got preggo, he could get :lew:. Well...sometimes we have to play along with their games to get what we need - I'll admit it! He knows that's why I did it, too. I don't necessarliy enjoy doing that, but I know he likes it, so that's OK. I can't believe I just wrote this into my journal!!! :O

    Nothing much else to report here - I'm been rather moist with the CM lately. I'm thinking it might have somethign to do with the Clomid. Oh, I know!! I AM REALLY BUMMED!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that we were getting a new computer that would be A LOT faster, but I thought that DH would take this POS in to work one day, and bring home the new one the next. He's saying we might be without one FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!! That's fine for him - he has a computer at work. This is my ONLY shot at being online, unless I go to my folks house. Actually...my grandparents have one that I guess I could bring here. OH, how sad am I???

    To Elizabeth, my new friend! - WELCOME!!!! I hope you join the 0-6 month board, and you take my advice and SEE YOUR OB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll be fine!! You must keep positive thoughts and not stress too much!

    Good Luck to ALL!!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  7. #27
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    Posted: 2003-02-03 23:42

    I won't be able to check the board for this week. Cody is taking our computer back to his work to exchange it for a better, faster computer. I'm happy, I just don't know why it takes ONE WEEK to swap out the CD burner from his old one into the new one??

    If I do check the boards it will have to be at my folks house, which I'm not crazy about b/c of the HUGE PREGNANCY.ORG icon/marker in the top corner!! My mom knows about us TTC, but my dad doesn't and he's nosey! Also, it's a pain to go over there b/c all I want to do is come home and hang out at our house....

    I go in for my U/S on CD12 this Friday and am hoping for BIG OL' HAPPY FOLLICLES!!! I have a bad feeling it will be bad news b/c DH won't be with me at this appt.

    WE finally set on a date to do his SA, and now he's talking about now and I have to remind him NOT until AFTER Thursday! Sometimes he can be SOOO dense!!! ARGH!!! He keeps getting confused with when I O - he thinks I O on Friday which is CD12, but last cycle on clomid, I didn't O until CD16 - we have another week before his little men are really needed!!! Anyway...I'll be happy to have the SA behind us. I just know the problem lies with me....

    GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE who reads this!!!

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++VIBES

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX to everyone needing crossings

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}} to everyone needing them

    and baby dust to all!!














    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  8. #28
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    Posted: 2003-02-08 02:55

    So today started by "collecting" DHs sperm for an analyiss - let me just kick it off right there. I realized this morning that I hadn't called the lab yet to make an appointment, so I called at 8 a.m. - THEY WERE FULL!!! But she gave me the number to a different lab, who had openings. So the collection was the weirdest thing EVER!!!! Then I drive through town to take it to the lab. Before I left DH and I had cracked about every joke in the book about driving around semen!! If you don't laugh, you cry... When I get to the clinic, which is in the part of town where most gay and lesbians live (it's called the Castro in San Francisco - VERY famous for it's gay activists, etc.), I go into the lab - there are ALL men, who all seem fairly gay to me (after living in SF your whole life, you tend to get "gay-dar" - I have nothing against gays/lesbians - I have quite a few friends who are). I'm carrying the semen in a bag - it takes everything in my power to not start busting up laughing. I walk up to the counter and this man is just standing there. He turns to me and tells me that there's nobody there. I start freaking b/c the semen has to get to the lab within 30 minutes of collection and I'm at about 23 minutes!!! I lean past him and start calling to the back - I come SOOOO close to yelling "Semen here, needing testing," but I control myself. Finally they get there and take care of the man then me.

    OK...fast forward past and hour and a half of babysitting, and I'm sitting in my OBs office for my CD12 U/S. The tech does it and tells me that in my left ovary (where I O'd last month) there are no follicles at a "happy" size. In my right ovary there are two good sized folicles - OR POSSIBLY CYSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe the tech told me this, but said that she wasn't sure and would quickly do her report andn talk to the doctor. BTW...it was a vaginal u/s - and it kept tickling me!!!! I felt like pulses going through my female bits - really quite weird!

    The dr. sees me and tells me that I've got two follicles, but dummy me doesn't ask her if it could be cysts!! I think I'll ask on Monday when I call for the SA results.

    At this point she also does the HCG shot and tells me I should O within 36 hours. I told her that last cycle, after the shot, I didn't O for FOUR days!! She said that was unusual and seemed to hint that I wasn't right, but I followed it up with that AF showed up 13 days after I got the + on the OPK...

    Anywhoo...if you got this far - GO GET A LIFE!!!! Thanks and I'm hoping to catch that eggy (or eggys!!) SOON!!!


    Off the TTC front, DHs ex-step-grandfather is dying. I know it seems weird to say he's an ex-step, but that's what he technically is, but he really means a lot to Cody - and me. He's a fantastic man, and it's just so hard for me to accept that he's nearing the end of his life with us. I thought we would driving down to Lompoc/L.A. this weekend, but Cody really doesn't want to go - he seems to think that Carp (grandpa) will last until next weekend - he's got congestive heart failure, renal failure, and had a heartache sunday ngiht/monday morning and they didn't think he would make it past monday. My thoughts are that we should drive down and see him while he's still a bit coherent, so we can talk to him and reminice, and be a support to the rest of the family. It's just so very hard. I really need to see the Jewish Healing center to help me deal with all the death that seems to be hovering around me with my own grandparents.

    Whew, that feels better talking about it. Well...DH is complaining that it's almost midnight here, and I said I would only be on for 10 minutes, and that was 30 minutes ago!

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  9. #29
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    Posted: 2003-02-16 14:27

    DHs Sperm Analysis...Low Motility!!! We got the results Wednesday, February 12, 2003. I have been trying to get the results from DHs SA since Tuesday. I called the office Wednesday to tell them that I have to hear back from the doctor before 1:30 p.m. when I start work and can't use the phone. I'm sitting at the hair dressers, getting my hair rinsed, and realize that I should probably have my phone on my lap. With that thought, I hear my phone ring. I jump up (scare the hairdresser!) and get to it, just in time to realize I missed my dr. I call their office back right away, but she's moved on. Her nurse said she left a message for me, but told me the results. He's got LOTS of sperm, they just are a little slow. I was devastated. She also tells me that really our only hope is an IUI (which DH is against, and our insurance won't pay for at all). I asked her about a progesterone check on CD21 for me, and she agreed to that - I did the blood test today, fun...

    After I hung up, I started crying in the rinse chair - and I'm NOT an emotional person. First I'm not Ovulating, now this. We have no money if we have to pay for this procedure ourselves. I'm just crushed. After the rinse, I go to the chair to get the hair cut, but my hairdresser isn't there yet, so I decide to call DH and tell him (he was REALLY anxious to get the results). All he can say is why didn't I wait to discuss this at home tonight and I don't need to keep calling him!!! JUST what I wanted to hear!!! I told him that he was anxious for the results.

    When my hairdresser shows up, she's in a really sad/bad mood - just what I needed!! I really needed to talk to somebody, and she just wasn't it! All I wanted was to hop on here and write to tje TTC7+ board. I ended up wandering to a place for lunch and thinking. I decided to go in and pick up my lab slip and talk to the nurse in person.

    In person the nurse was SOOOO supportive and fantastic! She suggested we go see a urologist who might have a more helpful suggestion. She also told met that if I wanted costs I needed to talk to the woman who handles insurance - who's out until FRIDAY!!!! She gave me the amount off the price sheet: an IUI would be about $300, the sperm wash (which they need to do) is $43, plus the cost of the office visit (if my insurance won't cover). We just can't afford that. I feel so devastated. I really felt like I was wondering around aimlessly before I started work. I came SOOOO close to calling in sick to work, but that wasn't fair to my kids or the school. All I could think about was going to the TTC7+ boardand posting for some guidance.

    At 8 p.m. that night we got the news...Carp passed away at 6:00 p.m. It's a REALLY good think we got down to see him last weekend. Carp is technically DHs ex-step-grandpa, but they were so very close. The memorial service will be next month in Lompoc, CA, and then they will spread half his ashes at their cabin in the Southern Sierras (about a mile from the Giant Sequoia National Forest - where the fires were last summer). (The other half of his ashes will be buried with his wife in Virginia or Pennsylvania.) Not sure on dates, but this is soo very weird to me. I'm Jewish, and in the Jewish religion you bury people QUICKLY. He passed on Wednesday, so the funeral would be today, Friday.

    Cody is doing OK, he lost it again Thursday night when he talked to his grandma, and she kept referring to Carp as Cody's grandpa - that really meant a lot to him. It's hard for him, and all I can keep thinking about is that it will be my time soon to loose my grandparents, and I just don't know how I'll cope...

    Like I said earlier, I went in for my CD21 progesterone test today. Will get the results on Tuesday, I hope. On my drive over to the hospital, I talked to my brother. It was such a GOOD/GREAT conversation. We talked about our grandparents, death, dying, my folks, our reactions to my grandpa, and the good old days. He and I don't get along too well all the time, but it's nice to know that he seems to be coming around and is more in sync with the family.

    That's about it for me. Cody is hollerin' for me to get off!!! Will write when I get the progesterone results...

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

  10. #30
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    Posted: 2003-02-24 14:00

    Right now I'm on CD29, 15DPO and expecting AF today. I've got some cramping happening and my temp dropped to coverline this morning. I'm not holding out much hope that this is our month. I've got to call the urologist to set up an appt. for DH and I - hopefully some more tests and drugs to help him out. We really want to get preggo on our own...

    It's weird, but my birthday is in 2 months and we're trying to figure out what to do. Last night I was thinking that we could throw a big party, go out for a REALLY nice birthday dinner, or DH and I could go on vacation. This morning I was thinking that I would like to use the money for the IUI. That would be a GREAT birthday gift!!!! Maybe I should ask for that for my birthday from my folks!!!

    That's about it for me. Just trying to cope with getting AF today - I know Cody will be really crushed - he REALLY wanted me to get preggo this month since we BD'd the last time we saw Carp, right before he died.

    -J

    I miss everyone on the old TTC7+ Board. Hope everyone is doing well. Please keep in touch with me at JLLYBNS@aol.com

    Learn Baby Signs with Me!! Visit my Web site www.SignWithJill.com

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