Shannon's journal.. praying for #3

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Shannon's journal.. praying for #3

Well after reading my friends Stacey's journal on here, I figured I should start my own as more of a sounding board than anything.

We're on our 6th cycle of trying for this baby.
Our last two pretty much took no time at all.. 2 cycles at the most.
I'd be fine except a few weeks ago, I got a BFP and then shortly after I started cramping real bad and then bledding.. big clots. So I knew what happened right then.

We're mid-cycle right so I'm in the 2ww... praying for something.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am on such a rollercoaster right now. My moods are awful and I am snapping at everyone. So of course the caddy women in my moms group are having a hayday speculating why I'm cranky which then leads to people not talking to me and being put out. Oh well.
I am not dealing so well with last cycles mishap. I thought it was okay and I wasn't affected by having a bfp and then loosing it but I am. And I just need someone to cry at... I don't have anything to say when I cry, I just just need to do it. This on top of our house getting hit by lightening (long not fun story) and our car breaking down... I've hit my limit! I'm fighting with my husband all the time and my poor kids are getting yelled at right and left. I guess I'm just alienating myself but this is an emotional battle than I've never experienced before.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

A few more days til I can test.. I have a feeling this isn't my time. No major changes like I had with my other 2 right before finding out. I am tired all the time but that's just cuz I don't go to bed untiul late hrs.
Today is my dads 61st birthday. He passed away 1.5yrs ago so this was an especially hard day.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Got a BFN. Guess I should've expected that. How frustrating after getting pregnant with my other 2 so easily. I know I already have 2 kids but I know my family isn't complete. I guess it just isn't time. And financially it's not a bad thing. We just paid a $350 bill to have my car window fixed.. lol and it's oour 6yr anniversary so we had to adjust our plans since we have no money to pay for what we wanted to do now.
Man what a perfect day though to find out I was pregnant.. but maybe next month. On to cycle 7. So my period better come fast!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Still no period... It's been now 32 days since my last one. I'm normally 28days consistant except last month but like I said before..last month was a little off anyways.
I took the test strip I got on ebay--I don't think those things work. Sometimes there's a slight line, and the next one there isn't. That's what I get for spending $8 for 20of them. lol. So I'm gonna stop at WalMart after dropping off Reese at school and just pick up a test. If it's bfn then I'm giving up on this cycle. But man today I feel like crap. Flu like so I hope this is it.. or I'm getting the flu:(

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

yup.. must all be in my head. I hate peeing on money for nothing! Wonderful though--just what I need to be sick the first week of school.
Oh well.. I can't complain. Okay I can but I shouldn't. So we try again next month.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I don't quite get it. I still don't have my period. I have acne like you would not believe and cramps but no af! And I was supposed to start technically on Aug 3rd. I am so thrown off!!! But tests are still bfn. I wish when I take them, that darn negative line wasn't SO bright. I would love maybe a light hesitant one. Not such an in your face boo for you you're not pregnant line!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

The weirdest thing happened last night which is TOTALLY off the subject. I get a voice mail on my cell phone.. the phone never rang. It was a girl and it said "Shannon... I sucked your hubands
d%^& last night....." and it went on in detail!!!! It was messed up! And the only people that have my cell phone (because it's still a CA #) are my church friends and the girls in my old moms group that I quit. Seriously..someone needs help! I guess nows a good time to change my phone number eh?

Anyways.. still no AF. I should enjoy this time.. maybe I'll test again later just cuz I have the strips and no tests go unpeed on in this house!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Okay this is CRAZY-- 10days late and still negative. I'm not sure how long I should wait before getting worried.

I did lock the keys in my car today though. Stupid thing to do! I had to call someone from my sons school to bring him home. No way was I walking to get him in 95degree weather! But on the positive...my kitchen has never looked cleaner!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Okay so I finally ended my 42day cycle.... AF came last night with a vengence!!! Bout stinkin time too! I just started charting today..hopefully I can figure all this out and get it right this time around. I was really about to call a dr today to get a blood test done but I prayed last night for some sort of answer as to whats going on. LOL... we dont' always get what we want but I definately got an answer! So officially on to cycle 7!! This time I'm determined not to take so many stinkin tests!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I haven't written anything because nothing is going on.. baby making anyways. My period was an odd one but it's over and we're back on track. I've been trying to figure out this temping stuff.

I do a home business called Tastefully Simple and I have been SO stressing over it! The girls who signed up under me are rocking and I am barely making my quota--much due to the fact that I still don't know many people here. I just need that break I think! But it's stressful when it doesn't have to be.

Reese has been very difficult lately. I know he's 4 and he's a boy but he's SO defiant...not to his teachers. Only to us. I have no clue what to do. All I can think about is how can we have another baby when I'm not even raising this one right!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I haven't written because sadly there's nothing to write about:( I don't know how people stay sane trying for babies for such a period of time. 7 months and I'm seriously emotionally exhausted!!! Tomorrow will be day 31 of my cycle but who the heck knows if I'm late or not since last month, my cycle was 41 days! Before that, 28days like clockwork. But I did test this morning and bfn. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that my kids have been terrors lately so it keeps my mind off wanting another one so bad.
And then last night my husband tells me he would be fine if we didn't have one.. he's cool either way. WTF?!? Because of him, I've been trying so hard!!! I would have given up months ago and just went with the flo but I thought he was the one that really wanted to keep working at it.

I had the flu last week something bad-like it was awful. That's probably throwing me off too.