Well I think after 20 months I really need to start this journal. I am 24 and my dh is 25. We have been ttc for 20 months. I have a short lp and low progesterone. Dh has had a SA and all is well there!!
This has been a long and very tiring journey. The only thing that keeps me going from day to day is imaging the day that I can hold my baby in my arms for the first time. I have waited so long and so patiently for my turn. I believe though God has a will and a time for everything.
Sometimes it gets really hard for me bc my dh has 5 brothers and all have children. I have a sil who is only 22 and is pg with her 5th child and it really irrates me!! She told me about a week ago and I came home and just cried to dh!! I think sometimes he just doesnt understand but that day he did. He just held me and that is what I truly need.
Today is cd24 or 25 and I think I am 7dpo. My temp dropped and I am so hoping it is implantation and not AF about to rear her ugly head!! I think if everyone I know around me would quit getting pregnant I would be ok. It just really pees me off when I see so many of dh's brothers girlfriends or wife's getting pg and don't even want anymore.
I know we are not suppose to ask God why but there are days where I just can't understand. Right now though I am believing Isaiah 40:31. Tonight on the way home I justed wanted to tell dh to be extremely nice to me bc this week would either bring joy or sadness for me!! It hurts so much bc my sil's don't understand!! Ok I need to quit rambling!!
Well I turned the override off on my ff chart and it put me back one day but that is ok!! I really prayed if this wasn't God's will or timing to please take the desire away!! Well I thought I was out of pg. test but guess what there is one in the cabinet. I am so hoping this is a good sign. I have about 4 more days of waiting before I am going to test if I can hold out that long. I have been having so many pg symptoms but that doesnt count you kinda learn that after ttc so long!! Well I am going to have faith and stay optimistic and if the happens to show well then on to next month hopefully with a good attitude!! I haven't wanted to tell anyone this so I guess I will just tell you!! I have had such a really good feeling about this cycle. I don't want to tell anyone in case I am wrong!!
I just wanted to say our stories are a lot a like i'm 21 and my dh is 25 we haven't been trying as long as you have but we have been for a while. But i've also been having a lot of symptoms but i'm scared my intution isnt right so im scared to test but im gonna try and wait another week then test! Also I know exactly how u feel bout everyone around u being pregnant 2 of my sil are pregnant and four of my best friends are! I'm going crazy for once i wanna go to my own baby shower lol!
Today I decided to go back to school only parttime until January then I will go full time. Dh and I decided that if I am not pg by October bc I will be due in the summer if I conceive from now until October that we will quit ttc in October. I really want to go back to school and I don't want any distractions if this is something I am going to do. We will still ttc only in the months when I would be due in the summer and maybe at Christmas.
So maybe after I get a degree and if I still can't get pg on my own maybe I can afford IVF or adoption. I just don't want to put my family in a financial bind. I am going to see my RE in Sept. I will do what ever I can from now until October. I want a baby so bad but I really think it is time for me to put it in God's hands.
Going back to school has been just a dream for the last 3 years but I want it to be a reality!!
Well my class last night really sucked!! It seems so hard but I am going to try my best and give it my all. I guess the good thing is I think I am O'ing. Only problems is I am not sure if i want to try this month bc I would be due around the time of my sil's bday which I really really dispise!! Good thing though is my b-day is around that time too. I just don't know what to do. I am thinking about bd anyway hey what does it matter after 21 months I don't think I need to be too ticky huh? LOL
Well I guess I will end now bc not much other to report!!
On Tuesday I went to the RE and started a new plan!!! Starting on cd3 which is Friday I will take clomid for 7 days normally you take it for 5 but he wanted me to take it from cd3-9. Being as my progesterone has never been over 11 with any dose of Clomid. He also gave me a prescription for a steriod to take cd 3-12 and this medicine is suppose to trick my brain and cause me to produce more hormone that is suppose to help.
Sorry I can't be more help I will have to research the meds a lil then get back with you. I will go in on cd13 for an us and see how my follies are doing. I am thinking maybe next cycle trigger shot and iui not sure yet. He told me though he wanted to do 6 cycles of Clomid before trying anything else. He said being as I never did 6 uninterrupted cycles then my body never had the chance to respond correctly.
NOt sure exactly how he put things being as I cant remember word for word. He also wants to do a HSG or Lap and of course my insurances pays for neither!! How convient. Unless they code the lap different and they would pay for it so not sure of that yet. That is my update so far!!!