Well I feel really relaxed this cycle. I haven't charted anything other than my allergy shots, allergy meds, vitamins and BDing.
I only POAS once and it actually felt really liberating. lol
We have gotten re-grounded this cycle and have actually done more spontaneous BDing this cycle than any I can remember except for when we were first married.
Awhile back, MissyJ recommended NaProTechnology based on our Faith, and I had an appointment for May that I had to cancel due to some things that came up that couldn't be avoided. It had slipped my mind to make another appointment and then I was talking a friend of mine over the weekend and telling her what we were going on and the first thing out of her mouth was NaProTechnology. She had tried for 7+ years to get pg and stay pg and she was able to do both with this treatment. So I emailed the closed teacher (which is 2 hours away from me but only about 40 minutes from my parents so that will help with babysitting) and I'm waiting on a response back now.
Somebody take my HPTs away from me. I am officially a POAS addict. I know good and well that it is too early to be testing. But even knowing that, I took a test on Tuesday, another yesterday and another today!
Good Lord I think I have lost my mind. lol And DH is no help. He has interpretted every little thing that was slightly about me the past couple of days to mean that I am pg. And he keep pushing me to POAS.
That's what every addict needs - an enabler. :rofl:
After experiencing some run around with the receptionist over where or not my doctor's referral on a prescription pad was enough or if he needed to call in to do it, and some questions about my insurance, she let me make an appointment.
So DH will go on August 9th to see what the urologist has to say. I'm guessing we will be going for another SA before we know anything definitive.
Friends of ours who have an 11 month old announced that the wife is 8 weeks pregnant.
It hit harder than expected. But what hit me hardest was the fact that how much DH has been stonewalling me about getting his appointment with the urologist made. Thus, why I made it this morning without any consultation with him.
I finally told him that in essence he was making me fight this battle alone and that I was tired of being a one person army. I told him that my doctor told the both of us that he wasn't going to put me through a bunch of tests until we found out what was wrong with DH and yet he still heems and haws about going to the doctor.
I guess if someone is going to take charge in this fight it is going to be me. And since I've never really been one to back down from a fight, I'm ready to fight this one too.
I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall.
I don't understand why people "who aren't even trying" get pregnant so easily but the rest of us who are trying, and praying and doing everything right either can't get pg or can't sustain a pregnancy.
I've had two friends in the last month have chemical pregnancies. They are both great women who deserve to be moms again.
It isn't fair that all of us struggle and then those that really aren't ready or whose significant other doesn't really want a chlid right now get pregnant. I worked with a girl like that. She got pregnant so she could try and keep her husband. I remember vividly one day when she got a BFN and she told him and his response was "I didn't know we were trying." He has specifically told her he didn't want kids at the time and she kept trying anyway. The next month she was pregnant. Me on the other hand, it took another four months of trying to get my DD.
In other news, we have the appointment with the urologist on Thursday. My parents are going to watch D while we are at the doctor since he is in the same city as they are and it is over an hour from where we live.
We also have an appointment to go to a NaPro Technology workshop on September 15th.
Also, if we get done with DH's doctor in time on Thursday, I will go get my progesterone levels checked on the way to pick up D.
Wow, I just realized that I started this journal in March of this year. 5 months ago. We've been trying now for almost 14 months and I'm on cycle 20 since we started.
I'm really starting to get angry over this process. Before I was just sad. But now I'm angry and I see that anger "boiling over" into other aspects of my life. The least little thing anymore just sets me off. Case in point - our bathtub plumbing. It hasn't ever worked right since we moved into our house over 3 years ago, but for some reason here lately it is just really pissing me off. Same for the broken a/c on the 2nd floor. It too has never really worked right, but right now I just want to yell at everyone about it.
Plus, this anger is starting to affect my motivation at work. I'm just not motivated at all. I just want to stay home with my little girl and enjoy all the time I can with her. Especially if there are to be no more little ones.
I took HPTs yesterday morning and the day before. Both were BFNs. Not that I figured they would be positive, but a girl can dream can't she.
A big part of me hopes that the urologist tomorrow (or in the coming appointments) tells us that the problem really is all me, since I am the more medially agressive one between me and DH. That way, I can really focus on getting my issues worked out so we can have our second baby.
Well we met with the urologist yesterday. Other than the doctor seeming a little "off" to us, it went okay.
He ordered up two more SAs for DH, a round of blood work and an ultrasound. He said we will know more after all of that is done.
The most interesting info that I gained was that the doctor stated that sperm counts have been decreasing world wide. Makes you really wonder about what we are doing to our bodies along with what we are doing to the planet...