Stacey's TTC #2 Journey

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Stacey's TTC #2 Journey

So after much thought and the kind suggestion of a friend, I've decided to take the leap and start a TTC Journal.

I may eventually make this a private journal and give access to my friends, but that decision will come on another day.

I currently have a private blog that I'm going to copy and past from just to get everything in one place. So bear with me as I make some older posts.

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Original post date 10/21/06:

I got pregnant in late September/early October and just as soon as it had started it was over. We think it was a "chemical pregnancy", but it was over so quickly that there wasn't a chance to go to the doctor.

Like that is supposed to make me somehow feel better about the loss. I sort of lost it for a little bit at that point to be quite honest. We have been trying to have a second child since April, 2006. We were pretty excited when we found out about the pregnancy. Unfortunately for reasons I won't know while I'm here on this Earth, God decided that this wasn't the right time.

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Original post date 01/10/07:

I've tested on 3 of the last 4 days and they have all been BFN.

I'm 11 DPO right now and my luteal phases at the most are only 12 days and I got my BFP with my DD at this point when I was pregnant with her and when I had my positive test in October.

I have another test that I will take on Saturday if AF doesn't show up on Friday, but at this point I'm just trying to get myself adjusted to the fact that although everything in my chart and timing seemed to be right this wasn't our cycle yet again.

We've been trying hard since April 22, 2006 (that is the first day of the first cycle I resumed heavy charting before that we just weren't doing anything to prevent or actively trying) and I've had 11 cycles in a little over 8 months. If AF shows I will call my doctor on Monday and try to get in for an appointment prior to my annual exam in March so I can maybe get some answers as to what is going on.

At this point I'm so frustrated. I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would be this big of a production to have a second child. Matt tells me it is stress and I just need to relax. But it is hard to relax when all I see around me are people pregnant for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc time. People who barely tried at all are getting pregnant. People who didn't try at all are pregnant. Why can I not get pregnant? The timing was perfect this cycle (I can't even say month because some months I have two visits from the witch) yet still no pregnancy.

Who knows what the doctor will say. I like him, but I've never talked to him about this problem. My old doctor would have told me to wait a few more months until I had been actively trying for a year. But I ain't getting any younger so that answer will not do right now.

I just want answers. If I can't have anymore children, if that is what God plans for me, I can accept that. BUT I want to know that for a fact. This uncertainty is what is killing me. The not knowing is the hardest part. If someone would just tell me what the problem is then I can learn to deal with it. I know I'm not supposed to question God or his plans, but I can't figure out why he has given me all this love in my heart for children and then only blessed me with my perfect little girl. And why did I have that chemical pregnancy? What have I done in my life that was so wrong that my punishment should equal an unviable pregnancy?

Don't get me wrong. I am VERY GRATEFUL for all the gifts that God has bestowed on me and my family. My little girl is the light of my life. I would not trade her for all the money in the world or for one hundred other children. I just want her to be a big sister. I know that she would be so good at it. She loves little babies and other kids so much. She would be a great big sister.

There is still time for this cycle. But I'm not holding my breath.

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Original post date 01/26/07:

I'm bummed because it looks like I haven't O'd yet this cycle.

I've been reading TCOYF like a mad woman and according to it, it isn't uncommon to have no O'ing or a delayed O'ing when you are under a high amount of stress. Which I have been this cycle.

My temps have been all over the place. The trip to Texas didn't help with the time change and Matt and I trying to hide all my charting stuff (thermometer, TCOYF book, fertility monitor, fertility monitor test sticks, etc) so that we didn't get a hundred questions from his mom and brother and SIL. I've had two big dips in temps and each time I thought I had O'd. FF hasn't given me crosshairs yet but I suppose I could get them tomorrow depending on my temp at that point.

I'm just bummed in general about this whole process. I'm bummed that my insurance will only cover $2000 in fertility treatments over my whole lifetime so in-turn I have to wait until my annual exam in March to talk to my doctor so as to kill two birds with one stone so to speak and be able to get at least one fertility appointment past the insurance company as something else. I'm bummed that I have to keep going to court to represent women who don't deserve the children I am ethically obligated to fight for them to get back all the while I struggle to get pregnant with another child. I'm bummed that Dani falls in love with babies everytime we are out and she sees the child of someone we know and yet I for whatever reason can't make her a big sister.

Part of me just wants to throw my thermometer, chart and monitor out the window, throw caution to the wind and just have sex like rabbits. But then I think that if I throw out my chart I have nothing to show to my doctor.

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Original post date 01/27/07:

FF is saying that I "possibly O'd around day 14". My CM pattern doesn't support that conclusion thought according to them so I only got a dashed line instead of a solid line for my cross-hairs. Ugh. This cycle is definitely the weirdest by far.

I wish I could get my appointment moved up to February, but unfortunately my insurance will only pay for one annual exam every twelve months and my last one was in March 2006 so I have to wait until it has been 12 months and 1 day if I want insurance to pay for it.

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Original post date 02/04/07:

Damn it. My past two cycles have been 23 days long and this last luteal phase was only 9 days long. I *thought* stress was supposed to make your cycles longer not shorter.

Is it March 20th yet? This is really starting to mess me and my head.

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Original post date 02/20/07:

I had my three month asthma and allergy checkup today and turns out that I have a really nasty sinus infection (the doctor's exact words were "it has gotten you really good") and fluid in both ears. Lovely.

I told her that I haven't felt good in several months and that's why I hadn't had my allergy shots in several months. She said that by the looks of things I've had this infection for awhile and that is why I have been feeling so out of whack. She gave me some anitbiotics and scheduled me a follow up for three weeks. She told me that we would redo everything at that appoitment and see if I could restart my allergy shots at that point.

Knowing all this has now got me wondering how much this infection has affected my TTC journey. I'll definitely be talking to my other doctor about this on the 20th of next month.

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Original post date 02/27/07:

The witch showed.

Blah. I'm having a beer to relax a little.

My doctor's appointment is in 21 days. Maybe I can get a BFP that morning and turn it into a confirmation of pregnancy appointment.

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Original post date 03/12/07:

This past Wednesday (the 7th) I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. Then I started getting sick. I was so sick on Wednesday that I threw up 10 times in 4 hours. Turns out I somehow got the norovirus which is a nastier than the flu bug this year. Matt and Daniella both had it too, but somehow I got it the worst of everyone. I've been home from work since then. I have to go back tomorrow afternoon to deal with four hearings.

And of course this happens during the time when I should be ovulating. I'd like to know just exactly what I did over the last 31 1/2 years to warrant this kind of kharma during my TTC #2 journey.

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Original post date 03/18/07:

My monitor has been super screwy this month. I have had "high" readings on just about every test. lol I'm actually nervous about Tuesday. I'm in that mode where I want to know what is up but the thought of what all it actually could be has me wanting to just hide somewhere. Crazy huh?

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Original post date 03/19/07:

I have all my charts printed out and organized into a little file to take with me. (Yeah, I'm a little obsessive compulsive. lol)

Of course I got a wonderful yeast infection over the weekend from the lovely antibiotics I was on for my sinus infection, so that should make my appointment even more fun.

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Original post date 03/20/07:

I love my doctor. He is so wonderful and so proactive.

Appointment went well. At the start of it he asked if I had any concerns and I told him about how we had been trying for a year and that my charts, tests, etc all pointed to well-timed intercourse with no results. He then asked if I was having 28 day cycles and I said no I was having 24 day cycles like I have always had. He said that my cycles may be too short (which I agreed with) and that the problem may lie in my luteal phase length (which I also agreed with). He seemed like he was glad that I knew a little of what he was talking about already.

He asked what day I was O'ing on according to my charts and if it was around day 14. I told him that it varied anywhere from day 10 to 14. He asked if I was using O kits and I said yes so he immediately suggested testing my progesterone levels this coming cycle to confirm whether or not I am actually ovulating. He said that if that test came back within normal limits then he would schedule me for a test that would shoot dye (his words lol) into my tubes to make sure they weren't blocked. He also said we needed to make sure the problem wasn't with DH and he wants to do that ASAP so as to save me from unnecessary testing. So we will schedule that appointment on Thursday since the fertility center that we will be using is only open from 7:30 to 2:30 on M, T, TH & F and DH is in court right now so I can't schedule it without him.

I feel so much better about things. I knew that I liked him from when I was pg with Dani and from everything that he did when all hell broke loose with her delivery but today just confirms it.

So our next step is to test DH's swimmers and my progesterone levels 7-9 days after my O kits tell me I have O'd.

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I was a little worried about what DH would say about his testing because he is always avoidng the doctor, but when I saw him right before he went to court as we were crossing paths yesterday, he said we would call first thing Thursday to get his appointment. That definitely made me feel better.

On a different note, I checked out the instructions for my fertility monitor to determine what the deal was with the constantly "high" readings this cycle. Turns out it is normal since I missed three tests when I was puking my insides out two weeks ago.

Oh and on a whim I took a HPT today and of course it was a BFP.

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My battery died in my thermometer today. So I guess I'll be going on a scavenger hunt tomorrow for a new battery. Good thing this is the end of a cycle and not in the middle. My chart for this month is a mess what with me being sick two weeks ago and now this.

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Well AF arrived today. Go figure a 23 day cycle. How lovely. I'm guessing the testing is going to show that the problem lies squarely with me.

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Now that I have a little break I'm going to write more.

I found my other thermometer last night before bed. I guess it is a good thing that I did and that I temped this morning since AF came on full force this morning.

I had some spotting yesterday, but I just chalked it up to my exam on Tuesday and the YI. Guess I should have known better.

I'm starting to come to grips with it all. I'm glad that my doctor took me seriously and didn't want to wait and see. I'm also glad that in about two weeks we should at least have some preliminary answers.

Finally, I'm grateful for all my friends. The ones that have given me such support during this and the ones that have offered their shoulders to cry on. For those of you reading this that fall into those categories you really will never know just how gratful I am to have you all in my life.

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DH's appointment is scheduled for the 28th at 8 am. The woman was really nice and explained everything to me on the phone. She said that she can have the results back in as little as 3 hours, so that made me feel good.

We don't know if our insurance will pay or not, so we have to pay for the test upfront. The cost wasn't as bad as I thought it was and if the isnurance does cover it, the money we pay will just be applied to our fertility testing deductible and we will be over half way there on it at that point.

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I read this Bible passage today:

“For I know the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope." Jeremiah 29:11

I immediately felt a sense of calmness concerning this journey. I have always believed that God knows what he is doing. I just think every now and again I need a little reminder that my life is going according to his plan not mine.

There is a reason for this struggle DH and I are experiencing. We may not know the reason right now, but the Lord does and when we have learned what we are to learn or gained what we are to gain, we will be delivered from this heartbreak.

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Ugh, appointment has been moved to Thursday, April 5th.

Our work got in the way of tomorrow's appointment. DH has to be in a hearing first thing in the morning and since the testing office is an hour from our work/home location, we had to reschedule.

But the upside is that we will likely end up getting our first rounds of tests done fairly close together.

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Ya know I should have known.

It appears my +OPK is going to come over the weekend. Which means I can't call the OB until Monday morning. BLAH!

FM has been at "High" the past two days, but I've had 2 -OPKs the past two days, so I'm betting the "Peak" reading and the +OPK will come this weekend.

Oh well, he said we would test something like 7-9 days after the +OPK so we can still get it down in time if I call Monday.

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Seems I was right.

I got a "peak" reading this morning on my FM and and +OPK later today.

Guess I'll call my doctor tomorrow morning and set my appointment.

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You have got to be kidding me! DH just found out that we have to move his appointment AGAIN! I'm so fed up with this. We take one step forward and two steps back it seems like. I'm so sick of our jobs getting in the way of this process.

I'm ending it tomorrow. When I call my doctor and get my appointment, I'm immediately calling the fertility center and setting DH's for the same day and I dare someone to schedule him to be somewhere else that day.

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I'm frustrated this morning.

I got my +OPK on Sunday. I got too busy to call my doctor yesterday so I called this morning. I tell them I need to schedule an appointment for my progesterone testing. I get told that they don't schedule you for that, you just come in. So I responded that I was doing what they told me to at my last appointment because they were the ones that told me that the lab person is only there on certain days. The girl on the phone goes "oh yeah, that is righ" :roll:

Then she tells me that I need to come in on cycle day 23. I tell her that won't work because my cycles are 23 to 24 days long. So she puts me on hold and then gets back on and proceeds to tell me that cycle day 1 is the first day of your period and so cycle day 23 would be 23 days later. DUH! :banghead: I responded that I knew all that, what I was saying was that my cycles are only 23 to 24 days long. So she then says she has to talk to the doctor to see what to do.

Then she gets back on the phone and tells me I can come in on CD 21, 22 or 23. :roll: I choose CD 21.

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Well DH's swimmers test is rescheduled for the 11th. My progesterone test is also scheduled for the day.

If anyone dares to schedule any kind of hearing for that day, I may just lose it.

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It occurs to me that I have never really given any backstory on what brought me to this place. So I am goig to fix that right now.

I have always had short cycles. In high school it wasn't uncommon for me to have 21 days or less cycles. I just accepted it as normal and didn't question it.

In college, things got even weirder. By the end of my freshman year, my cycles were down to anywhere from 14 to 18 days. At one point I had a cycle that was so short I was scared enough that I went to the ER. It was there that the doctor suggested I go on BCP to "regulate" my cycles. I saw my mom's OB/GYN (same guy who had delivered me) that summer and proceeded to be on BCPs for the next 9 1/2 years.

After DH and I married we started TTC about a month after our wedding. My cycles at this point were 25 days long and I really wonder if the reason we got pregnant so quickly was because I had been on BCPs for so long that I had a build of hormones in my body.

After DD was born, we decided to wait until she was at least a year old to start TTC again. Once she turned 1, we agreed to wait a couple more months before actively trying but to not realy try to avoid either. Then DH got baby fever and in April 2006 we actively started trying again. I started temping, charting, etc.

Around September 2006 we had had several months of well timed BDing and still no pregnancy. But then I got a BFP and we were thrilled. Unfortunately, a couple of days letter my period started and we were crushed. At that point I bought a fertility monitor and started reading all I could on secondary infertility.

I've recently begun taking B-6 in an effect to help out my luteal phase length and my doctor has ordered testing to try and pinpoint the deficiency. I have also started researching other possible causes on my own (diabetes, thyroid problems, etc) so that I can be prepared for the next time I meet with him.

So there is my story in a nutshell.

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2 WW

I'm in yet another 2WW. Fertility Friend puts my O date at Monday, the 2nd which is when I calculated as well.

That would give me an EDD of 12/24/2007.

Guess we will wait and see.

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DH had his SA today. It was weird. The room is weird and for some reason we both felt really awkward being there.

I also went for my blood draw for my progesterone level check. The lab tech was nice, but I don't know that she really believed me when I said that my veins were hard to fine. She stuck me in my left arm and then proceeded to try and gently find the vein. No luck. On to the right arm. She found it there, but now my left arm hurts worse than my right.

I just want some answers.

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AF showed yesterday. So I'm on to Cycle 16.

I called the doctor's office this morning for our test results. They were in but the lab tech hadn't signed off on them yet, so all she would tell me was that my progesterone level was 10.5. She couldn't tell me if that was bad or good and said she would have to call me back after the lab tech signed off on the results.

I did some quick research and most say that 10.5 is an okay number but that most docs want to see 16 or more. I was 10 dpo when they did the test so I don't know how that will factor into the analysis.

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Doctor called back on the 16th and gave me the whole rundown.

DH's numbers weren't good and mine weren't what they wanted to see. Sad

They are going to call me back to let me know what the next step is going to be.

On the advice of friends, I am starting DH on a new vitamin regime and restarting mine.

I'm okay with the process right now. I'm actually starting to be okay with seeing BFPs. I know that in the end either we will or won't get pg again but that we will most likely adopt and I am okay with that.

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Just talked to my doctor's office.

DH and I have an appointment on 5/2 to talk to my doctor to come up with a plan for my next step. The medical assistant seem surprised that I wasn't already on Clomid given my progesterone levels.

She said that more than likely we will repeat my progesterone test and then if the level is the same or lower he will start me on Clomid. She also said that DH will likely be referred to a urologist, which will just totally not make his day.

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Had our appointment today.

First, I love my doctor.

Second, DH's SC is at around 8 million. :shock: My doctor would prefer it to be around 100 - 200 million. So that appears to be our big problem. He said he wants to get that looked at before we go spending tons of money on my testing and putting me through all the tests/meds.

Third, he wants me to chart for a couple of cycles so we can definitely state whether or not I have a luteal phase deficiency. I told him that wouldn't be a problem since I'm already charting. lol He also said that I've probably bled away a couple of pregnancies that we didn't even know about given the length of my cycles - especially the cycles that I have ovulated late on. Sad

So I'll go back for a progesterone draw in my next cycle. DH is going to a urologist (the same one my doctor personally uses). And we are going to continue BDing every chance we get. lol

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I just want to scream and cry and rant and rave and figure out what the heck is wrong with me.

AF showed up tonight. Cycle #16 was all of 22 days long. What the heck is wrong with me that my cycles are getting shorter? I take the vitamins everyone recommends and nothing helps.

My doctor figures I will eventually be on Clomid, but he doesn't want to go that route until we get DH's sperm count up. Can't get DH's sperm count up until we figure out what is wrong with him. Can't figure out what is wrong until we see the urologist. Don't have an appointment yet with the urologist, going to call tomorrow to do that.

I'm sick of this. I am so, so very sick of this.

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Being married to a husband who hates doctors and having to deal with seeing doctors constantly to figure out problems is a PITA.

That is all.

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Thanks to all my friends who are constantly checking in on me and worrying about.

All of your kind words and messages mean more to me than you will ever know.

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Well this just sucks!

I'm so sick of this. I guess I officially have 22 day cycles now. The past two cycles were each 22 days and I knew immediately this evening that AF was coming when the cramping started.

I have an appointment with my doctor on the 6th of June for a follow-up pap and I'm going to ask him at that point to just write me a prescription for Clomid. I'm tired of waiting. I can see the writing on the wall. I know what our main problem is. Now it is time to fix it.

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Had my appointment today.

I'm definitely ovulating!!!! During the pap, my doctor and his nurse saw tons of EWCM. Smile

Wish us luck.

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I didn't think it woudl affect me like this, but it sure is hitting me hard.

My EDD for the chemical pg I had in October was June 18th. I saw a story on the Today Show this morning about how fathers who have lost children for various reasons deal wtih Father's Day. I lost it. I was standing there ironing my clothes, crying like a baby.

I don't know what I'm going to do on Monday...

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Well the 18th was an okay day. DH kept me busy with travel and various vacation things. We talked and cuddled at night and made it through together.

The 19th was when it was the hardest. The people (family members) who we were on vacation with decided that it was a good idea to spend two hours talking about baby names for a child that they don't plan on TTC until late this year. What made it worse was the fact that at least one person in the conversation knew what we have been going through. I never knew people could be that cruel. Sad

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Bad news: AF showed this morning. Sad

Good news: This last cycle was 26 days Smile Plus, DH is really on board with taking his vitamins and getting to the bottom of things. Smile

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Big thank yous and hugs to all my friends who have sent me PMs and/or emails. You are all the best. Even if I don't respond to your messages, know that they are helping me through and keeping my spirits up.

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Well I feel really relaxed this cycle. I haven't charted anything other than my allergy shots, allergy meds, vitamins and BDing.

I only POAS once and it actually felt really liberating. lol

We have gotten re-grounded this cycle and have actually done more spontaneous BDing this cycle than any I can remember except for when we were first married.

Awhile back, MissyJ recommended NaProTechnology based on our Faith, and I had an appointment for May that I had to cancel due to some things that came up that couldn't be avoided. It had slipped my mind to make another appointment and then I was talking a friend of mine over the weekend and telling her what we were going on and the first thing out of her mouth was NaProTechnology. She had tried for 7+ years to get pg and stay pg and she was able to do both with this treatment. So I emailed the closed teacher (which is 2 hours away from me but only about 40 minutes from my parents so that will help with babysitting) and I'm waiting on a response back now. Smile

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Well this is interesting.

My face is all broken out (my face never gets broken out except for when I was pg with DD).

I have to pee like every thirty minutes or so even if I don't drink anything. And I have been having to pee during the middle of the night.

Oh and DH seems to think I'm pg.

Guess we will see in a few days...

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Somebody take my HPTs away from me. I am officially a POAS addict. I know good and well that it is too early to be testing. But even knowing that, I took a test on Tuesday, another yesterday and another today! :roll:

Good Lord I think I have lost my mind. lol And DH is no help. He has interpretted every little thing that was slightly about me the past couple of days to mean that I am pg. And he keep pushing me to POAS.

That's what every addict needs - an enabler. ROFL

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Finally got to call the urologist today.

After experiencing some run around with the receptionist over where or not my doctor's referral on a prescription pad was enough or if he needed to call in to do it, and some questions about my insurance, she let me make an appointment.

So DH will go on August 9th to see what the urologist has to say. I'm guessing we will be going for another SA before we know anything definitive.

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I had a mini-breakdown this weekend.

Friends of ours who have an 11 month old announced that the wife is 8 weeks pregnant.

It hit harder than expected. But what hit me hardest was the fact that how much DH has been stonewalling me about getting his appointment with the urologist made. Thus, why I made it this morning without any consultation with him.

I finally told him that in essence he was making me fight this battle alone and that I was tired of being a one person army. I told him that my doctor told the both of us that he wasn't going to put me through a bunch of tests until we found out what was wrong with DH and yet he still heems and haws about going to the doctor.

I guess if someone is going to take charge in this fight it is going to be me. And since I've never really been one to back down from a fight, I'm ready to fight this one too.

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Well I started spotting yesterday evening.

Full blown, heavy AF showed this morning.

Wow, cycle #20 I really never dreamed it would take this long.

I cried last night on DH's shoulder. I really thought I was pg this time. He said he did too. This is starting to really suck.

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I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall. :banghead:

I don't understand why people "who aren't even trying" get pregnant so easily but the rest of us who are trying, and praying and doing everything right either can't get pg or can't sustain a pregnancy.

I've had two friends in the last month have chemical pregnancies. They are both great women who deserve to be moms again. Sad

It isn't fair that all of us struggle and then those that really aren't ready or whose significant other doesn't really want a chlid right now get pregnant. I worked with a girl like that. She got pregnant so she could try and keep her husband. I remember vividly one day when she got a BFN and she told him and his response was "I didn't know we were trying." He has specifically told her he didn't want kids at the time and she kept trying anyway. The next month she was pregnant. Me on the other hand, it took another four months of trying to get my DD.

I'm just so sick of it all.

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Joined: 02/12/04
Posts: 194

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That is D's entry for tonight. lol

In other news, we have the appointment with the urologist on Thursday. My parents are going to watch D while we are at the doctor since he is in the same city as they are and it is over an hour from where we live.

We also have an appointment to go to a NaPro Technology workshop on September 15th.

Also, if we get done with DH's doctor in time on Thursday, I will go get my progesterone levels checked on the way to pick up D.

Yay. The ball is rolling again.

Ump'sWife's picture
Joined: 02/12/04
Posts: 194

Wow, I just realized that I started this journal in March of this year. 5 months ago. We've been trying now for almost 14 months and I'm on cycle 20 since we started.

I'm really starting to get angry over this process. Before I was just sad. But now I'm angry and I see that anger "boiling over" into other aspects of my life. The least little thing anymore just sets me off. Case in point - our bathtub plumbing. It hasn't ever worked right since we moved into our house over 3 years ago, but for some reason here lately it is just really pissing me off. Same for the broken a/c on the 2nd floor. It too has never really worked right, but right now I just want to yell at everyone about it.

Plus, this anger is starting to affect my motivation at work. I'm just not motivated at all. I just want to stay home with my little girl and enjoy all the time I can with her. Especially if there are to be no more little ones.

I took HPTs yesterday morning and the day before. Both were BFNs. Not that I figured they would be positive, but a girl can dream can't she.

A big part of me hopes that the urologist tomorrow (or in the coming appointments) tells us that the problem really is all me, since I am the more medially agressive one between me and DH. That way, I can really focus on getting my issues worked out so we can have our second baby.

Ump'sWife's picture
Joined: 02/12/04
Posts: 194

Well we met with the urologist yesterday. Other than the doctor seeming a little "off" to us, it went okay.

He ordered up two more SAs for DH, a round of blood work and an ultrasound. He said we will know more after all of that is done.

The most interesting info that I gained was that the doctor stated that sperm counts have been decreasing world wide. Makes you really wonder about what we are doing to our bodies along with what we are doing to the planet...

Ump'sWife's picture
Joined: 02/12/04
Posts: 194
On to #21

AF showed yesterday. I figured as much. I had heavy cramping in the morning and boom there she was.

Last cycle was only 23 days, but my luteal phase was 13 days, so that is an improvement. I'll just keep taking my vitamins and plugging along.

Not like there is much else to do right now anyway.

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