OK, so we didn't make it until 4 weeks. But at least we got to 3 weeks before we BD'd. Now i'm worried that we ruined the surgery. Gosh we're so impatient. Dumb, dumb, dumb!!! I must say though that it was wonderful, emotionally and physically. We connect so deeply in that way that it's hard to go so long without that connection. He had no pain or anything so that was really good.
In other news I bought the dress that i wanted. I found it on ebay in my size so that was awesome. Not sure if I should link to the dress here but i'm going to anyhow. http://www.edenbridals.com/product_i...8f5b28a2ee678d We've got a few weekends available in April and May that we could use to run away and get married.
Other than that, I should be ovulating in about 7 days. I'm sure we won't be creating a baby next week, but we'll get in some good practice.
I also wanted to thank all of you that have pm'd me. I appreciate the words of encouragement. It means so very much to me.
I can tell i'm a few days out from ovulation. I've got a few pimples that showed up this morning. That's a sure sign for me that my hormones are getting ready surge.
We had a nice weekend. We went out Friday night and celebrated our engagement with a nice dinner. That was really nice. So now I can officially wear the ring that I picked out 2 weeks ago. It's beautiful. Even though I knew he was going to do it, he officially proposed. He even got down on one knee. He made me cry (good tears) with all the things he said during his proposal. It was great.
We also looked at a little drop of semen under the scope this weekend. We saw lots of sperm. Most of them weren't moving, but some were. That was very encouraging. At least we know that there is a clear path from point A to the exit. It was amazing how many there were in a single drop of semen.
Well I should get going. By the end of this week i'll be in my first 2ww!
Well it looks like i'll be out of this cycle. Of all the bad luck, my 3 year old was laying on the couch that DF was sitting on and somehow ended up kicking DF in the balls. Now they are sore and tender. So I'll be ovulating today or tomorrow and likely won't be able to do anything about it. I know it's highly likely that I wouldn't get pregnant anyhow, but this still just sucks.
Well I feel the twinges of ovulation this morning and DF is still too sore. The swelling has gone down from being kicked, but he's still feeling too nervous to even cuddle up too close to me at night. I'm so bummed because we had just reached the point where he was relaxing about BD'ing. Since the surgery he's been a little nervous during our BD sessions even though he hadn't experienced any pain. Now we'll have to work through that again. Oh well, we'll get there!
It's my sister's birthday today. She's turning 17. I can't believe how fast time goes. Seems like just yesterday that she was born. I made her a cake last night. It's a checkerboard cake and i made it brown and green since her favorite color is green and tomorrow is St. Patty's Day. I hope she likes it.
Well I should get going. I'm feeling pretty down overall and don't want to keep typing and end up just whining about missing an egg that we probably wouldn't have fertilized anyhow, even if we did BD.
I talked to DF and he said he's had a vast improvement in how he's feeling "down there" today. He thinks we can try to catch my egg tonight! Still only a miniscule chance that we would be able to at this point, but it feels better to at least try instead of just passing it up.
Well we gave it our best shot. We should know by the 31st of this month if we caught the egg. I don't have a lot of confidence since the sample we looked at under our microscope last week didn't have a lot of movement, but it only takes 1 right? I'm not giving up hope until i see the witch.
We are planning our wedding for May 6th. Plans are moving along well, we've settled on going to Yosemite and getting married in the park. I'm excited about that. I got my dress last week and it fits! Even if i get pregnant right away, it should still fit on May 6th. The way it fits now, i could probably stand to bring it in just a little, but I hesitate to do that with TTC.
Well I'd better get to work now. I sure hope there is a little miracle forming inside of me right now!
I'm 5DPO and still hoping we had some good enough swimmers. We did a big no-no this weekend though. We went and got a hot tub. We have been planning on buying one for months and the price was right so we decided to go ahead and get it. We set the temp to 100, but i'm still a little nervous about using it. It appears that the jury is out regarding safe hot tub temps while ttc. I know that i won't be using it during the 2ww. I got in for a short while last night, but it hadn't warmed fully yet. It was 97f when i was in it, so that's safe and still felt nice. I'm a little nervous regarding DF using it. It can kill sperm if he gets too hot. I feel good with the having it between 97-99, but he wants to set it at about 101...i don't think that's very good. So we've settled on 100 for the time being.
I plan on testing on the 30th or 31st unless AF finds me first.
6DPO - We had an argument last night. It actually ended up being our first argument about TTC. It started out as something different but morphed into this big thing about my hopes for being pregnant this cycle and his lack there of. This can't be a good thing that we're fighting on the first cycle of trying. I guess I thought we were on the same page, turns out we're not really. So we agreed that until he feels good enough about his sperm count, I will be keeping my hopes and thoughts about conceiving to myself. It's for the best really because it's hard to put your hopes out there and continually have them struck down. I'm guessing it's a protection thing for him. He's not wanting to get his hopes up to have them dashed out in a couple of weeks.
I'm so glad I have this journal to safely share my hopes and dreams. I don't know what I'd do without it.
OMG - I've been attacked by zits. I woke up with 6 on various locations on my face. Most of them are relatively small, but the leader of the pack is a giant growth right between my eyes, kinda on the bridge of my nose. I don't think I usually break out so soon in my cycle. It may be stress from the argument, but I wanted to note it in my journal so that if it happens at DPO 6 next month I'll know it's normal for me. I also felt some cramping today, but I figure it's probably gas. I don't usually pay such close attention to every twinge.
We're still not back to normal after our argument yet, it's kind of morphed into an argument about the wedding plans now. Something is really bothering him and I can't seem to figure out what it is. He's really upset with me and I don't know why. I've tried apologizing for everything i can think of, but maybe he just wants to be mad for a while. He tends to be the type that tries to stuff his feelings away and ignore them until he can't anymore. Then he gets upset over things that don't normally upset him until it finally all comes out. I'm riding it out trying to not get too upset over the small things (which is hard) and i'm hoping that we get to the bottom of this soon.
MEN!!! Ok, so we had that argument and agreed that until he feels confident with he sperm count that I won't express my hopes during the 2ww. I'm fine with that and completely understand his feelings.....so what does he go and do? He makes a comment last night about me possibly being pregnant. He noticed how broke out i was (which has gotten worse since yesterday) then he says "Maybe you are pregnant!" OMG I wanted to acknowledge his comment and smile and imagine for just a moment. But I couldn't. I just kept right on talking past his comment. He didn't say anything else and I think it surprised him that he even said it out loud. I just have to smile thinking about it though, he can't contain his hopes any better than i can
Otherwise, things are going well. We seem to have reached an end to the argument for now. I'm not sure if I found the source of his feelings, but I have a general idea about what it might be. I've chosen not to push him right now for any answers about the last few days. I think he probably needs time to sort out what he's feeling. I can give him that. I love him despite his inability to process emotions sometimes.