From Thinking to Trying and Beyond!!! EDD August 17th, 2004!

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Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16
From Thinking to Trying and Beyond!!! EDD August 17th, 2004!

Ok that's a decent enough title for now...

So it's time for me to start a TTC Journal. I said I would finally start one if I got AF again, and she came today, so it's CD 1 of cycle #6. This will most likely end up being the place I whine and complain, and become all melodramatic and have pity parties for myself, so that I don't bring down the mood of the boards I visit Wink LOL!!! I love reading the other journals here and figured I'd return the favor by sharing my story...

So anyway, for those of you who don't know me, a little background:
My name is Cherie, and I am 25 years old. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world, Damon, and he's 27 years old. We were married January 2, 1999, (when I was 20 and he was 22) and have been married for Almost 5 years. We are TTC #1, and this is our 6th cycle TTC since May 2003. We live in Tucson, Arizona with our 2 cats, Herbie and Meeko.

At first when we were married we KNEW we weren't ready for kids - I wanted to finish college first, and I didn't feel like it was the right time for me to start a family, but by that point I knew I wanted to have kids, just not right away - we both felt there were things we wanted to accomplish first.

I joined up with in August 2002. My older sister was PG with her 1st, and it was really making me want a baby even more - I'd say I started getting the baby bug sometime around June of that year. At first after joining this site, I used it for informational purposes about my sister's pregnancy, but as time moved on, I came to admit to everyone else (except people in real life) that I really wanted a baby of my own. I know some time in there I finally found the courage to talk to it about DH, and we agreed that a baby was what we both wanted - once I finished college in May 2003.

I joined up with the Thinking of Conceiving (TOC) board not long after that, helped get it moving, became an unofficial host there, and in April of this year, I became the official host of the board. I was getting prepared to TTC the whole time I was on the TOC board. I quit smoking on October 1, 2002, and have been smoke-free ever since. I walk every night, and although my eating could stand to be healthier, I'm doing OK in that department. I saw my doctor in December 2002 for a preconception check-up and was given the green light to TTC when we were ready - we had made a plan for May 2003! I took my last BCP on January 22, 2003, the same day my neice was born, and began prenantal vitamins the next day. I'd decided I wasn't going to chart unless we had problems conceiving. Not much happened after that TTC-wise. I was just waiting until the right time on the TOC board and daydreaming with the rest of the ladies there about the day I'd be a TTC'er. We were using condoms from January to May, and although there were times when we REALLY didn't want to use them, we managed to play it safe.

I think I will take it from there in the next post because this one is getting REALLY long, and I don't want to bore you too much on the first reading of my journal!

Thanks for stopping by!
Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

Ok, so first off, THANK YOU everyone for the warm welcome!!!

UGH I am so long winded I am sure I've lost readers already. LOL! I hope I can keep up with this journal, but I have never been good at keeping one, so I probably won't write in it every day, at least not at first. Ok then, where was I???

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that in October 2002, I found out my younger SIL was PG. I was so upset to find that out, because I thought it would interfere in our plans to TTC, and I was SOOO jealous! I don't know how you feel about it, but I don't want to be PG at the same time as anyone else, at least not with our 1st child. So that makes us the last ones to not have kids, and the ONLY ones who are married. I am an aunt to 4 nephews (DH's side of the family) and 1 niece (my side).

Also, in March 2003, I had the 1st attempt at having my wisdom teeth pulled, and a tooth that was bothering me - I wanted all that taken care of so that if I got PG, I would have to worry so much about my teeth! I ended up waking up during the surgery and only got the tooth that was bothering me and one wisdom tooth removed. My wisdom teeth weren't bothering me so I didn't care too much, it was just something my dentist recommended. I also started going to a periodontist so my gums would be healthier.

Ok so May - we decided it was time to TTC - YAY! I was so excited and happy, and SCARED! We started TTC mid-cycle. Having sex with the purpose of getting PG was new to me! I wanted our 1st time TTC to be special and romantic - and it was. I am glad we decided to do it that way. Got AF on the 8th, not surprised, I knew TTC from the 1st of the month to when AF was due wouldn't result in a pregnancy. I graduated from College on May 15th 2003, with degrees in Business Administration, Liberal Arts and General Studies, and the next day we (Me, Damon, my Mom and Dad - we are all close) headed out for Las Vegas to celebrate my graduation and my Mom's 50th birthday!!! We had a great time, although Damon and I did have a huge argument while we were there - I found out he was still smoking when I thought he had quit in April!!! I was so MAD! I mean here we were TTC'ing and he was still smoking! He said that being in the casinos where it was OK to smoke made it so hard for him that he caved. I wanted to enjoy the rest of our vacation so I let him smoke for the duration of the trip, but when our plane returned home, he was to start over with his quit. I think I was anxious for us to be at peace so we wouldn't have to stop TTC'ing! I really thought I had gotten PG that month, I was tired all the time, and my BB's hurt and I thought for sure that we had done it, but AF arrived in early June. I wasn't super upset, but I was disappointed. I figured the odds were against us getting PG on the 1st try, but I was confused about how my body and mind had tricked me into thinking I was PG! Ok let's speed this up so I can get to the present...

June - Got AF on the 5th, one of my nephews turned 4 on the 15th, my newest nephew was born on the 16th, I think I might have O'd on my 25th birthday (the 19th) and I realized I had rash, which ended up being the shingles - fun month!

July - Got AF on the 2nd, by mid month I was having some trouble sleeping due to a sore back, then a few days later I had pain in my abdomen - I think it was O pains. The next day I had some EWCM (I think) and some spotting a few days later. I was excited because I thought I'd be able to tell when I O'd with body signs. I think that was the last time my body really let on that I was O'ing.

August - AF came on the 2nd. I had made a Dr's appointment because I'd been having discharge from my nipples and was concerned it was a sign of a hormonal imbalance. My doctor had my blood drawn to check my hormone levels, and when they came back, she told me my levels were normal. She also wanted me to see a surgeon to have my ducts cleared (YIKES I was scared). I decided to wait until September for that since we had decided to take a TTC break, to avoid a June baby and to just relax and re-focus. I also tried an OPK for the 1st time in August. Started on the 12th - (my exhaust tip was stolen off my car from the Walmart parking lot as I was buying them - GRRR) and I kept taking them until the 21st, all of them negative! I'd used up 2 boxes and wasn't about to waste a 3rd so I gave up on them. I think I O'd on the 27th, my nipples were sore, but that just could have been from me squeezing them to see if I still had discharge, LOL! I ended up having my longest cycle EVER this month, probably due to the stress - a 38 day cycle.

September - (I thought I was speeding this up so I could get to the present??? LOL! Well if I had started my journal when I started TTC'ing, I wouldn't have had this much to catch up on!) I started walking again every night in early August, I had slacked from my original plan while I was TOC'ing (Now I still walk every night!). AF came on the 9th, and we (maybe a little reluctantly) began our much needed TTC break. I was tired of waiting and wondering about every little twitch my body made. I made all of my doctor and dentist appointments and got ready to get all of my little obstacles out of my way. Went to the surgeon's and found out that there was no concern for breast cancer, so I didn't need surgery - what a RELIEF! Towards the end of the month I was anxious to have our TTC break over with!

October - On the 1st I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of quitting smoking! I had my appointment to remove the rest of my wisdom teeth on the 11th - and that went well! On the 12th, AF came and our break was over! I decided to use OPK's again and started them on the 25th - negative. On the 26th Damon and I had a really rough day. I had found out yet again that he was smoking behind my back for the past couple of months!!!! If I was mad before, it was nothing compared to this time! I thought we had agreed to be open and honest about it, but I guess he was too afraid to admit it. He'd gone to the doctor and been prescribed Wellbutrin to help, but had been gradually stopping using it until he stopped altogether. I had asked him over the past few months directly if he had smoked at all and he denied it, I just couldn't believe how he'd lied and been so sneaky! I was crushed - I thought about leaving him because of his deception. It was just a thought, but it scared me to even think about it. We did end up talking it out, it took a while to sort out all of our feelings and he'd said he wanted to quit again. Shortly after, I had him join a website to help him cope, and start his Wellbutrin again, and if he was still struggling, I wanted him to go to counseling. We made it through that, but it wasn't easy. I'm still dealing with trying to trust him again. Didn't use the OPK that day, and the next day was his birthday, and the fact that we had worked it out made me feel like continuing TTC and I did use an OPK, and it was +!!!! We BD'ed that night too. It seems kind of a while ago now, but it really wasn't that long ago at all. We've mostly gotten back to where we were before the argument, but things probably won't be like that again for a while. Damon set his quit Date for November 10th, and worked toward his goal of quitting one step at a time.

OMG I yak too much, but as I said before, I had a lot to get caught up on!

Next post...From November 1st to the present - YAY!!!

Thanks for reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

Hopefully a post about the past 2 weeks will be shorter than the ones I was writing about the past year :roll:

I'm still looking for a job, practically ANY job that I can find for some holiday money. I'd like to find one that I'd end up staying with until late in my future pregnancy, but right now, I just want a job. (But I don't want a restaurant job!) I Graduated from college in May, and I went to college straight from high school, so I don't remember a time when I wasn't in school. Now it seems weird NOT to go. I kind of miss it, although I never thought I'd be saying so. I officially left my last job in late August, but I rarely worked for them anyway, so it seems like I have been unemployed for much longer - I prefer the term Stay At Home Wife Wink LOL! I miss doing something outside this apartment!!!

Damon quit smoking on the 10th -I am really proud of him, he's doing it for himself this time, and I think that will help him immensely. I worry about him though. His work is pretty stressful, and with TTC and everything (even though he's much less stressed about it than I am), I'm just worried he might think he can't get through it all without smoking. I'm here for him, and the website he joined seems to be helping him, even his co-workers are helping out! I was scared when he quit again. He was still smoking from when I found out until his quit date, not in front of me at all, but I knew he was doing it. Now that he has quit, I am afraid that he's going to start up again and do it behind my back, and lie to me again. It wasn't the fact that he was smoking again that got me so upset, although I wasn't thrilled about that, but it was the lying and deceiving he was doing. It really hurt me that he couldn't be honest and come to me about it. After all, I'd been through it before, and knew what it was like when the "Nicodemon" had a hold of you.

Anyway, this journal is supposed to be about me and TTC, LOL! AF came on the 11th, boy were we bummed about that. I'd started spotting the day before, and even though I was holding out hope that the spotting would go away, when I woke up the next morning, AF was there - and it was worse than ususal. Thanks AF :roll:! I thought with timing BD right using the OPK and everything, it being our 5th cycle of TTC (I figured I'd waited for it long enough), it was our very original month to start TTC (but I upped it to May when I thought I wanted to stop TTC after October, way back at the beginning of TOC, and didn't want only one chance to make it or break it.) and I REALLY wanted a July baby, because no one in either of our families has a birthday in July.

Someone has a birthday in every month except February and July. I don't care so much anymore about our baby being the only birthday in the month, but it would have been nice. I just don't want a baby around the holidays, it's just too stressful, I can't imagine being 9 months PG at the same time.

Our plan is to TTC through the end of the year and then if no baby, we'll take a break until May, although I am thinking of changing that. My reasons for holding off TTC during that time don't seem as good anymore. I still want to avoid a December baby due to Xmas and everything, but November isn't so bad, I could handle having a baby then. I think October is still out though, because there are 3 birthdays in October already, and with Halloween being so big on DH's side of the family (BIG haunted house almost every year) I'd hate for him to have to give up on it mid-project or to be there working on it instead of being with me & baby (so selfish, LOL). January is the month we were married, and I figured I skip TTC for a baby that month because my sister just had her 1st this year in January. But "oh well" is what I am thinking now, because I want a baby more than I want to please my sister by not having a baby the same month as my niece's. It's funny, I was full of plans at the beginning and they're just getting thrown out the window left & right now, because I just dont care as much about the reasons I chose not to TTC during certain months.

So where does that leave me now???

November 2003 (August baby)
December 2003 (September baby)
February 2004 (November baby)
April - August 2004 (January-May baby)
October - December 2004 (July-September baby)

January 2004 (avoiding an October baby) ???
March 2004 (avoiding a December baby)
September 2004 (avoiding a June baby)

(All dates are subject to change, LOL!)

I HOPE I don't actually have to TTC that long... I REALLY hope not.

I'm such a dork, I was sitting here reading a preview of my post and now I am even reconsidering NOT TTC in January. Why? Because the 3 birthdays that month are for FIL on the 18th, MIL on the 20th, and DH on the 27th. NONE of which have a big party or anything, and I think it would be neat for a kid to have a Halloween themed Birthday party, Dh said he liked it being that way. So maybe TTC from now through February??? I told you my reasons for not TTC'ing just don't seem as good anymore the more I think about them. I still need to talk to Damon about all this anyway, but knowing him, he'll be fine with it. I think he doesn't see any reason not to TTC for ANY month.

I never thought I'd be looking at moving on to the TTC 7+ months board, but if I don't get PG this cycle, that is what will happen. I guess I can talk about that more next time Smile So much for a post about 2 weeks not ending up as long, oh well, it really helps to get all of my thoughts out - it frees up space in my brain, ROFL!

Thanks for reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 4

I could just weep - my mouse went insane and closed the window during the first typing of this entry and I lost it!!! :cry: Think, Think, Think!!! - Darn, and it was a good one too!!! I just don't have it in me right now to try and re-type the whole thing - I'll try to later.

Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

Ok trying this again...I've come to the conclusion that my rambling is not an isolated occurrence. :blahblah:

Damon and I talked last night, and I asked him which month(s) he'd like to avoid having a baby in, and as I thought, he didn't see the need to avoid any month except for December, due to the holidays, but he did end up agreeing with me about avoiding June too. Then I started wondering about when my doctor might let me come in to talk about maybe having some tests done or something to help TTC along because we were on our 6th cycle, and I'm really not that patient a person, and 6 more months is a long time to wait! LOL! So then he says that he won't let me go on fertility drugs because I'd end up having quadruplets!!! I was like, EXCUSE ME?!?!? You won't LET me?!?!? :paddle: (mentally) I think I just looked like this --> :shock: Anyway, So I tell him that he needs to do some research before he can make a statement like that, because first, there is more than one fertility drug out there, and second, the chance of having quads is probably only like 3% - I honestly don't know for sure, but I don't think it's very big (I guess I need to do some research of my own Wink ) I mean really, he can't tell me what I can and can't do to my body, because the decision is ultimately mine! I'd still ask him what he thought, but he's not going to TELL me what I am going to do or not do - JEEZ! :roll: What a maroon! So I tell him that if it were between having 4 kids and having no kids, I'd pick the 4. I think he agreed with that, but I can't even remember. Men say the darndest things!

So where are we now with TTC???

Nov 2003 - Feb 2004 (August - November baby)
April - August 2004 (January - May baby)
October - December 2004 (July - September baby)

And that's as far into the future as I am going to think about right now!!!

March 2004 (avoiding a December baby)
September 2004 (avoiding a June baby)

(All dates are STILL subject to change!)

I guess if we don't get PG by May next year (even though I will have skipped 2 cycles of TTC, making it only 10 cycles - not going to tell my doc that) then we are DEFINITELY going to the doctor to get help!!! I just hope Damon sees it the same way. I really hope it doesn't take that long, but I never thought it would take this long either...I just want to be somewhat realistic about this. I keep thinking I am the reason we're not PG - because of my weight. I think maybe if I lost more that it would be easier for us to conceive. Damon thinks it's him, that maybe his "guys" are not up to par. It could be neither of us though, and just that 25% chance that isn't in our favor each month. 50% of couples get PG by their 6th month trying, so I think since we haven't conceived the past 5 times, that must mean this time is a 50/50 shot, LOL! 50% isn't that great odds anyway, but it sure beats 25%!

I keep thinking of buying one of those at-home SA kits, but whichever way the results come back, I think we'll still be lost. If it comes back that his "guys" are fine, then I'll figure the reason we're not PG is ME, and I'll still have to wait 6 months to find out why! (and it might not even BE me!) And if the #'s come back not so good, then he'll feel bad, like it was his fault, but at least we could fix the problem sooner! I'm torn. If we had the extra $ I would probably get one, just so I could feel like we were doing something pro-active.

At the end of this cycle I won't be on the TTC 0-6 months board anymore. Either I'll be PG (PLEASE!!!) or I'll be moving on to TTC 7+. I know I can stick around if I wanted to, but I think there is a different mentality to each board, and I think I would just rather move on.

That's enough for now, I guess! :blahblah:
Thanks for reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Nicky - Glad you think my journal is fun to read and find it "interesting" (though I am not too sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing). Good job on your typing test! Hope you enjoy your "Nicky Time"!!! (are you packing a test?)

Dayna - I think it was you who also wrote to me in your journal...I'm just glad he quit again. I am doing my best to help him through it and trying to let go of the hurt feelings, so that I can fully support him and be there for him, because you & I both know how hard it is and is going to be! His job is stressful, TTC is stressful, and I don't want to add to it! Thank goodness I ordered him a ton of cinnamon toothpicks that are arriving today!!!(((HUGS!)))

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 6

Ahh Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY! I can't believe most of the weekend is over already!

Friday Damon and I went out to dinner, and it was SO GOOD to go out and just be alone and talk to one another - I wish we could do that more often! We just talked about everything going on in our lives and just shared a really good conversation with one another. I know I have complained about him a lot in my journal, but he really is great, and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. We've had rough spots, to be sure, but he truly still is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with (even if his family is included in that bargain!)

His family makes me nuts sometimes! Like yesterday for example. Earlier in the week his mom called because she wanted us to take her and his grandma out so they could do their Xmas shopping. Did she flat out ASK us? NO! She always plays this game of just wondering what we are up to first - I really, really, REALLY dislike that - just ASK for cying out loud! The woman (well, ANY of Damon's family) never calls us unless they want something from us, and usually they want it from me! So she calls and says that if we "happen" to be doing some of our Xmas shopping this weekend, which we weren't, that she and Damon's grandma would like to go too... but she always says that in this VOICE, this grating, irritating, baby/child voice, so that we feel bad and she can guilt us into doing it - his younger sister picked that one up from her and does it too :roll:! ARGH! So anyway, we KNOW we are going to do it, even though we don't WANT to, and since she invited us for dinner on Sunday, we decided we'd do it earlier that day. So yesterday morning, Damon gets a call from his mom, who he was going to call to let her know when it would be convenient for us to take them, and she tells him before he had the chance that she PROMISED his grandma they would go today! HELLO?!!?! She didn't even check with us first, the ones who would need to drive them!!! That's what makes me so nuts - she never actually flat out asks, she uses the disguise of just wanting to see what we are "up to today", in that VOICE, which we know actually means she wants SOMETHING from us, otherwise she wouldn't call. When I do take her out shopping, it means I have to go pick her up, follow her around the store (usually at least an hour), then take her home after. Sometimes we have lunch, but she never really seems to appreciate my taking her out to shop. I think I feel that way because it seems like she EXPECTS me to do it. It never means we shop together, or go out as friends, I am just THERE. Anyway I am off topic a little...So since she said she'd had promised his grandma they'd go (nice little bit of guilt there, using the grandma card), Damon (I was still asleep) agreed to take them, and told her he'd pick them up between 12:30 and 1:00 - she had called at 10:00 - Damon said she sounded disappointed that we weren't coming right away - I've heard her act like that on the phone before when I said it would be 1/2 hour before I'd be there - she just wants us to come right away when she calls - TOO BAD, at least we're going to come get you, for crying out loud! So Damon was just going to take them, and get it done and out of the way, but since there is a grocery store next door, we decided to go together, drop them off at Target, go next door to get our grocery shopping done, bring that home and then come back for them. We got to their place and they weren't even ready - ARGH! And she says "you know you didn't HAVE to if you didn't want to." I was thinking - YES we DID! We're HERE aren't we? We sure as hell don't WANT to be! And it's a little late now that we're sittiing here on your couch to say that! So I just said "Yeah, but you promised Grandma Alice..." I think I sounded annoyed but oh well, I was. We took our TIME at the grocery store and came home and put everthing away - we even sat around for a little while before we went back to get them but we still ended up having to follow them around for a little while - so BORING!!! So we're just kind of sticking it out wishing they'd hurry up because this isn't exactly how we like spending our Saturdays, and Damon's mom asks us "Are you in a rush?" No, of course not, we have all day to follow you around Target bored-stiff while you try to decide what to buy people for Xmas!!! So we finally make it out of there, and back to her place, and she asks us "So what are you doing for the rest of the day?" I just wanted to spend the day at home being a vegetable, but Damon didn't have an answer and neither did I, so we hung out there, because we are apparently idiots and could not come up with an excuse to get out of there! LOL! Damon only came up with "I know there's something I have to do, I just can't think of it" - that might have been true, but it didn't get us out of there, even though I kept suggesting things he might have "forgotten"! So we get roped into going out to dinner with them, which at least we get a free meal out of it, (that's so mean of me) but I have to drive his mom & grandma there and bring them back. Damon got to ride with his Mom's husband - Lucky! So I remember that we didn't feed the cats lunch (TRUE!) and that we need to go home right after dinner and feed them. So we FINALLY get away around either 6:30 or 7:30 and go home - 6 or 7 hours later, and don't forget we're having dinner at their place tonight too! I'm thinking I may come down with something before we are supposed to leave. I'm not sure I can handle another night with them, especially with his sisters and their kids around...although I am not sure who will be there, but I know for sure his younger sister and her baby will be. I'm not in the mood.

Sorry I am such a complainer today, but I needed somewhere to get it all out! No TTC info - AF is on her way out though!!!

Thanks for Reading!
Cherie :blahblah:

Nicky - My mom was the first person my dad ever dated, and they just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary last month - just something to give you hope. I've felt the same way as you before - where it seemed more like we were roommates/friends more than a married couple. We just needed to take some time, like once a week, to actually spend with each other - not in front of the TV or distracted by anything else, and it really helped us realize why we were together, and got us back into feeling like a married couple. I think it helped tremendously. I don't know if it would help in your situation, but I figured I'd toss it out there. (((HUGS)))

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 9

I haven't written in my journal for three days!!! Shame on me! LOL! I really didn't have anything of too much interest to write.

So, I am losing my mind. that's nothing new. I have been lurking on the TTC 7+ board for a few days, figuring I'll end up there soon enough (but I hope I get PG this time instead) and found a post on these African Fertility Satutes someone found on the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" site. So what did I do? I touched the computer screen, used my mouse to click on them, printed them out and put one on each side of my bedroom door and touch them everytime I go in there, and DH is doing it too!!! I've lost it! I'll do anything to get PG, LOL! I'll bet I am not the only one though!

AF has left the building!!! She left around CD 6.

Yesterday, oddly enough, I had quite a bit of CM when I wiped. It was only CD 8 so I figured it was some weird early-in-the-cycle CM or something, not O CM, because I figure I'll O around CD 16. We ended up BD'ing last night, not because of the CM Wink but hey, if it was CM because of O, I had my bases covered!

Still trying to figure out how to do the BD at my parent's place over the Thanksgiving holiday...I guess we'll bring some towels and my pillow with us; the towels so we don't leave a lovely spot on their guest bed (even though we're the only ones who use it, other than their cat) and the pillow to "give myself props", if you know what I mean - LOL!

Monday was my dad's b-day, and since we celebrated the last time I visited them, I just called him and wished him a happy birthday.

Yesterday I went and filled out yet another application for a job. I hope this one will call me for an interview and break the "curse" I apparently have over me where no one will even see me for an interview!!! I'm applying for just about anything - this one was for a cashier position at a car wash!! LOL! 3 degrees, and I might end up with a cashering job - well, I'll be able to earn holiday money, so I guess it doesn't matter too much! I also returned our rented movie and the library book I borrowed. That's about it, so now if I forget whether or not I took it back, I can look here and see that my book was returned, LOL!

We're going to a wedding this weekend - one of Damon's co-workers is getting married. I'm not sure what it's going to be like, but one thing is for sure, I'll bet it will be "unique". It's at a ranch, the ceremony and reception will be outside (BRRR), they asked that instead of gifts, we contribute money to be used towards the purchase of a painting or piece of art as a "symbol of the gift of community in their new home". I hear from Damon that since it will be cold outside, there will be a "fire pit" that we can stand near to warm up....this should be interesting! I don't even know if we'll be eating, or if we should grab something to eat beforehand, although for all I know, he may serve an unusual meal, and I'll wish I'd eaten at home! We haven't decide if we'll stay the night in that area, since the wedding is about 40 minutes outisde of Tucson and near Tubac, a neat artist's colony that we could explore if we stayed, but the hotel prices that we've seen aren't that great, and it's less that an hour's drive from home. The wedding goes from 4:30 (seating begins) until 8:30 (reception ends). I guess it would make sense to just go home, I won't be drinking so I can drive, but it would be nice to get away for the night and explore somplace new. ARGH I just don't know!

I guess that's about it for now, I'll post again when something of interest happens or if I need to unload my mind a bit Wink

Thanks For Reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Dayna - You get EVERY Monday off to shop - You are SO lucky!!! Has Dh noticed that you cut your hair yet?

Melissa - How could I have overlooked you, my TOC buddy??? So sorry that I have done that on my earlier posts! I'm also sorry that you are going through a rough time. I've been there too, and gotten through it, so hopefully things will get better for you! (((HUGS))) It's still frustrating though!

Nicky - Sorry to hear that you and Earl are having a rough patch. Do what makes you happy! I hope the job pans out, looks like we both need some employment dust, so I am sending some your way!!!

Kelly - WOW you O'd on your own! Congrats! Any chance of fertilization?

To anyone else I missed - Hope you are doing well!

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 11

Yesterday I ended up shuttling MIL and grand MIL around to get some of their Xmas shopping done - 2nd time I have taken them out and they STILL aren't done!!! :roll: I think the problem is my MIL, not my grand MIL - I think because she is staying with MIL, she's stuck doing it too Wink I haven't really seen her buy any presents. MIL was sick but still wanted to shop, so hopefully I won't catch whatever she has! It wasn't too bad, I actually had a chance to buy a couple of Damon's presents while I was out.

We are going to a wedding this weekend, and we are staying the night in a hotel! Oh, if only it were O-time this weekend, instead of over the Thanksgiving break!!! I really wasn't expecting to stay in a hotel, even though we had tossed the idea around since we had received the invitation. Now I have to pack!!! And I always overpack! It's just for one night, and I still bring a small suitcase (for both of us)! I need to make a list of what I am bringing so I don't forget anything, and I also need to make a list of what I need to do before we leave. It should be fun though!

Turns out Damon's co-worker (the one that's getting married tomorrow) is a wealth of mis-information!!! Maybe because he has so much going on right now??? He gave Damon a hotel name and # to call and get a discounted rate, which we did. However he also told us it was like a 5 minute drive to the wedding from there - Yahoo Maps says it is a 20 minute drive. Not to mention we have to take a frontage road and a bunch of backroads that we are unfamiliar with to get there. We'll most likely get lost Sad He also said it's only a 40 minute drive from Tucson to Amado, where the Wedding will be, but Yahoo Maps says it's an hour drive! That's going 60mph, so maybe the speed limits are higher? Either way, we'll need to get going sooner than planned, or we'll be late!

We'll be driving an hour to get to the hotel, checking in, getting our stuff in our room and hopefully freshening up a little, then taking off for another 20 minute drive to the wedding! Wowzers, maybe we should just leave early and get ready at the hotel! Nevermind, the check-in isn't until 3pm...hmmm but if I am showered and my hair is dry by the time I leave, and we made it there at check-in time, I'd have an hour to get ready, which is probably more than enough time. Of course if we get lost, then I'll end up getting ready in the car or something....maybe I can get mostly ready here and then finish up at the hotel...Oh, WHY do I always go back & forth on everything!?!?! I guess it's just my way of thinking things through.

Turns out from this hotel, Tubac is another 30 minute drive, so we'll be in the car quite a bit, LOL! I'm still looking forward to it, but knowing me, I won't want to leave the hotel until check out time! And not without all the soaps, shampoos, shower caps, etc! I love "pilferins", LOL!

Got in some practice yesterday, nothing much else to report. It's still early in my cycle, and I don't expect to O until next week.

Have a great Weekend!
Cherie :blahblah:

Nicky and Melissa - have a great time at the MOA - you are so lucky to get to meet each other! I wish I could meet some friends someday! Take pictures so you can post them!!!

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 14

What a weekend I had!!! It was just bordering on nightmare, so it was not the fairytale getaway I was hoping for!!! The hotel (actually it was an Inn) was REALLY nice and cozy! it was like a little one-story studio apartment. That day had so many wind advisories, we lucked out that we didn't experience any strong gusts on the road. I had been following directions that I printed out off the computer, which had been reliable until we were going to the wedding, but luckily on the way to where the wrong directions brought us, I had spied a sign with the hotel and exit, so we turned around at still got to the wedding on time.

It was SOOO cold that day, even for AZ, 50's in the daytime or colder. It was an outdoor wedding and reception, and I wish I'd dressed even warmer than I did, and I wish I hadn't left my gloves at the Inn, because as it got later, it got colder!!! By the end of the night, everyone was huddled around two campfires trying to stay warm, it must have been like 30 degrees or colder!!! (for AZ, that is cold!!!)

I forgot to tell about the wedding...It was like a Buddhist ceremony, when we sat, there was a harpist playing and a sign that said, "Enjoy the Music and the Meditation". Our favors were packets of seeds wrapped in tulle and a rock with Chinese characters printed on it. The gazebo was decorated in a string of little flags of different colors and had a big white flag with a yellow circle in the center on the back of the gazebo. There were lots of candles and potted cacti around too. The bride and groom walked up the aisle together, he wore a black tux with one of those shirts that buttons up high so you don't need a tie, and it's red, and she is in a floor length red ball gown skirt with a white buttoned top - it was very simple and pretty, and she carried a bouquet of red roses. The ceremony started with the officiant chanting, then the bride and groom made some offerings and put them on an altar. When they did that, a man bonged on what looked like a bowl, but it was a musical instrument of some kind. Then there was a song with audience participation, they exchanged their vows, which they wrote themselves, then exchanged rings (the groom put the wrong ring on the bride's finger at first, LOL) then they had their kiss (that was funny too because He's tall and she's short so pulled out a stepstool for her, LOL!) Then once they were husband and wife, he blew on a conch shell (a cow somewhere nearby answered! Apparently there had also been a hawk flying around somewhere, but I didn't see or hear it.) Then there was a receiving line (which I always find so awkward because I never know what to say) and then the reception, (I felt kind of bad for only eating bread, but I don't think anyone noticed. It was an hors d'ouvres buffet, and there just wasn't anything I liked!) and the drinking began! OMG Damon's coworkers pretty much all got drunk, (I only had 7up, Damon had coffee) and raised a little bit of a ruckus, toasting everyone! It was hysterical, everyone was making jokes and having fun, and we all huddled around one of the fires to stay warm. It ended up being a lot of fun!

So about 8:30pm we were ready to call it a night and head back to the hotel, everyone else from Damon's work was leaving to head back to Tucson, and the other people who were still at the wedding were going to be stargazing through the groom's telescope. We get to the car, and the key will not turn in the ignition!!!! We tried and tried to turn the thing and it would not budge! We were freezing, and trying to turn the steering wheel, which was locked! I get on the cell to ask my dad who knows about cars what I can do, and he just tells me to keep trying and if I can find an auto parts store in the morning, to put some graphite lubricant in the ignition to maybe loosen it up so it will turn. So Damon goes to find someone to help and comes back with the groom and a small audience :oops: So I am sitting there trying to get it to turn with a crowd of about 8 onlookers and I feel so on the spot that I gave anyone who wanted to try to start it a shot - like the sword in the stone. So no one gets the key to turn and the groom offers to let us use his car to drive to the Inn for the night, go to Tubac the next morning and then return it the next day, since he won't need it until then. We ended up taking him up on that offer! So we leave our car, take the groom's car and try to hunt down food because we didn't eat - apparently the town we are staying in is so small there wasn't anywhere open at 9pm on a Saturday night!!! Not even fast food! We ended up going to a supermarket and buying something to microwave when we got back to our room. I looked in a phone book for an auto parts store, and OMG - the phone book was the most unusual one I have ever seen - there must be only 500 people in the town, and the phone book included where the were originally from and their occupations!!! No places were open on Sunday! The book said the town was 95% retired people! I called the front office around 10pm to let them know we came back with a different car than the one we registered, and I woke someone UP!!!!

The next day, we skipped Tubac, and went straight to the car to try the ignition again. So I get in and it still won't turn and now I am really starting to worry because I have no idea what we are going to do if we can't get the key to turn to start the car!!! We're 40 miles from home, and a tow would be really expensive! So Damon gets in and after a few tries gets the key to turn - wahoo!!! (I must have warmed it up for him, LOL!) But the car still won't start, and is making some strange clicking noise. We knew that the interior lights, radio, A/C, etc. worked, so we ruled out the battery and were thinking it was the starter, so I call my dad again to see if he has any ideas on how to get it to work. He said that he didn't recognize the sound, that it might be the starter, but he's never heard one make that noise and that he didn't know what we could do, so we decided to call Damon's dad who lives in Tucson and ask him to come and help us out. A guy comes along and asks if we need a jump, and at this point I am willing to try anything, because I just want to go home - with our car running if at all possible, so I say let's try it! The car starts right up!!! Unbelievable! So I call Damon's dad back and tell him not to come, then my dad so he doesn't have to worry about us anymore. We thanked the guy, thanked the groom and got the heck out of there, drove to Damon's Dad's to pick up his battery charger, then went to Auto Zone for a battery check - they said we needed a new one, so I bought it and some graphite lubricant! We finally got home and I swear, I was so happy to be there after thinking we might be stranded or would have had to pay an arm and a leg for repairs!

Why me?!?! I am just happy to be back to my boring life! It would have been so much worse if the car hadn't started! I took the car for an oil change and a wash today for our trip up to Chandler on Wednesday. At least if we have trouble up there, we'll have my dad to help us out! No problem at all with the car starting since yesterday! It was an adventure of a weekend! (and YAY Damon for not smoking though all that! I have to give him a lot of credit! It's now 2 weeks smoke free for him!!!) Oh, and MIL called just to talk to me for the 1st time ever! She didn't hint at wanting ANYTHING from me! Maybe she's turned a new leaf, or DH said something to her. Either way, it made me feel good!

Thanks for reading!
Cherie :blahblah:

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 15
+ OPK!!!

I bought an OPK last month that had 5 tests. Last month I got a + on the 2nd test I used, so I had 3 leftover for this month. Today I took the first of the 3 that are left and it came up + so I have 2 left for next month if need be! Wahoo! I'm going to ovulate soon!!! I guess we'll BD today, tomorrow, and on Thanksgiving for good measure! I'll be starting the 2WW tomorrow! We already BD'ed last night and the 2 nights before. I know a lot of people don't like OPK's because it only tells you if your body is gearing up to O and not if you actually O, but I love using them! Besides, charting only tells you that you O'ed already, not when you are going to...hmmm...I suppose charting and OPK's in combination are the best bet.

I was so happy and excited to find out I get to host the September 2004 birth board! I'll at least get it up and running, even if I don't get to be a member of that board. If I find out I won't be a Sept. mommy, then I'll decide if I want to stay on and host it anyway or pass it on to someone who is due that month. Yay, can't wait for some September Mommies to start filling up the board, and hopefully some of the ladies I am closer to will be members of that board if they don't end up with August babies!

Anyway that's all that is going on here, it's a boring day - thank goodness! We're just getting ready to go up to my Parents' from Wed. night to Sunday for the Thanksgiving holiday. Oh! On Friday, my mom, my sister, my niece and I are getting a picture taken together to give to my dad for Xmas - I think he will really love it! What a great idea! If I don't post tomorrow, I'll update when I get back! I hope I end up with a "turkey in the oven" if you know what I mean!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Wow, finally a shorter post!
Thanks for reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 22

OK, ok, I know I haven't written in a week, but I have a good excuse! I was staying at my parents' place until Sunday, and yesterday my internet was down for 5 hours, and by the time it finally was up and running again, I just didn't feel like it.

So let me see, what has happened in a week? Well, as I said I went to my parents' place in Chandler for the Thanksgiving holiday. Mom and Dad were just getting over a bad cold, so I am hoping I haven't brought it back with me. On Thanksgiving day we had a great time, the food was so good, as it is every year, and there were lots of leftovers to take home. I love stuffing! YUM! (got some BD'ing in that night just for good measure!)

On Friday, mom and I went to Walmart to do some shopping and get some day-after-Thanksgiving deals, and it really wasn't as bad as it would have been here in Tucson! Later that day, my mom, sister, niece and I went to the mall to get a picture taken together at the Picture People to give to my dad as a Christmas gift. They actually turned out pretty good and my niece was adorable - wish there was some way to share the pics Sad

Saw a little CM on Saturday, don't know what was up with that, it was just creamy, not EWCM, but I thought I was supposed to dry up after O...Then on Sunday, I had some abdominal cramping - I was worried that it was O'ing! I don't know though, the OPK was positive 5 days earlier. I hope I O'd when the OPK said so! Perhaps it was just an upset stomach.

Yesterday I started having sore nipples, not the whole breast, just the tips of my nipples, and it's a little worse today.

They replaced the railings to our patios in front & back yesterday and today, and I REALLY hate them! The replaced our stairway a couple of months ago and I hate that too! I don't like using the word "hate" but I really do loathe them!!! The staircase used to be wide, really nice and big, we could have put a couch on the stairs lengthwise if we wanted to! Now the stairs are only 3 feet wide. What gave our apartments charm was the all wood staircases and patios. Now they are replaced with metal and concrete ones - YUCK! Not to mention they left some things that went to the old staircase and now it just looks odd. The new railings also take away some of the privacy from the patios because the railing bars were thicker, now it seems like there isn't anything there. Blah.

I think we'll be finishing up our Xmas Shopping this evening -THANK GOODNESS! I can never really relax and enjoy the season until the shopping is done! I plan on buying my Xmas cards tonight, so those of you who are in the card exchange with me on the TTC for the 1st time board, I'll be sending them out soon! (Hopefully within the week, but no guarantees!) I am a slacker -SORRY!

Well that's about it I guess, I'm finally in the 1WW, but I am so impatient that it's just taking forever! I hope this is our month!!!!

Cherie Biggrin

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 23

I finished my Xmas shopping last night! Huzzah! And I finished all my wrapping except for 2 very large presents that I am still debating using wrapping paper on (but using a lot of it), or finding a bag thing for them. It depends on how antsy I get to see it all DONE. Now I can enjoy the season! YAY! I still need to start my Xmas cards though, still slacking in that area. I wanted to write a little something personal in each card, but there are a few ladies I just don't know well at all, so I may just end up sending generic messages in those ones. I think we agreed to get a tree the weekend of the 13th! I wish I could get it now, but I am afraid it would die before Xmas! I think we'll start decorating the inside and outside of the apartment this weekend, and that gets me soooo excited! I LOVE the holidays!

I won $5 on a scratch ticket yesterday! WOOHOO! I know it isn't a lot of money, but it IS the most I've ever won on one of those things! It was nice to just WIN! Hope my luck continues to hold!

Still have the sore nipples, we practice BD'ed last night so I don't know what today's CM is like, not that I am a steadfast checker of it, I was just curious if there was more than usual. My face is so broken out, and has been for the past few days. Pre-AF breakouts must be coming early this month.

That's about all I have to say for today, hope everyone is doing well!
Cherie Biggrin

Nicky - I saw the pictures on the MN board - why didn't you tell us you are so pretty??? Great pictures! Glad I am not the only one slacking on the cards!

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 25
10 DPO

I am DONE! YEAH! Done shopping, done wrapping, done with my Xmas cards! All I need to do is decorate, which is lots of fun! I always go overboard with it! (Seriously, the Griswolds should adopt me!) I love Xmas lights and we enter the Apartment Complex's lighting contest every year! We've never won though, it's such a conspiracy! Wink I even bought a couple sets of net lights and a couple sets of light up candy canes to add to the copious amounts of lights I already have - I just can't help myself! I want one of those 8 foot inflatable characters, but I'm not sure it would fit on my patio! Biggrin I can't wait to get my tree and put presents around it!!! FA la la la LAAAA la la la LAAAAA!

On to TTC news, 10 DPO! YAY - I could feasibly test now, but I am doing my best to hold out until AF is due or late! Maybe I'll go buy a dollar store test like someone suggested just to get the itch to test out of my system! My nipples still hurt, but I think it is lessening - I hope I am just not having any major PG signs yet! I hope, I hope!!! Had some lower back pain (mild) the past couple days, but that could just be all the running around I have been doing. Was dizzy and lightheaded at KMart today, but I think that because I didn't check the temperature before I threw on a sweater today - 80 degrees! I was roasting and got a runny nose when I got home! Haven't seen much CM lately either. My broken out face is getting better, as are the breakouts on other places on my body - my pores are clogged all over the place! I need a good exfoliation or something! So I guess no major PG symptoms, maybe it's not my month yet again...I don't want to still be TTC at Xmas time - my O date would be near/on Xmas! My family will be staying with us, and Damon and I will probably be sleeping in the living room! AAK! 1WW insanity is making me crazy!

Thanks for Reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Melissa - Sorry to hear about your DH - the holidays can be depressing for some people. Just remind him he has 2 beautiful little girls to live for! (and maybe another on the way???) Congrats on TTC, but you may be done with it already - as I said in the PM, a line is a line, so RETEST in the morning!

Kelly - Enjoy your vacation!

Nicky - Got those cards done yet? Wink Good Luck on your first day at the new job!

Dayna -Enjoy your Monday off - Shopping Day!

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 29
14 DPO

Well, I am getting close to the end of my cycle, I guess I'll be finding out soon if I am moving on to TTC 7+ months or if I am moving to a birth board. I'm nervous. I just want this to be THE month so bad, I am afraid that because I want it so much, it will not happen. Damon is trying to figure out where I am in my cycle, but I won't share too much information because I want to make it a surprise if I get the chance to test and it's +. I WOULD post when I have decided to test, but I have been really superstitious this cycle, and have decided not to tell anyone my testing day.

Seems like a lot of my TOC ladies are moving on to the August PG board this month, I only hope I can join them. It frustrates me a little, even though I am happy for them, but because they weren't trying yet, and I have been trying for 6 cycles, it makes me a little sad and makes me wonder what's wrong with me. I just want my turn! I think I am starting to get bitter, LOL!

Still have the sore nips - I thought for sure that the soreness would be gone by now, but it is still there, not too bad, just a little sensitive.

I got to take over the cycle list on the TTC For the 1st time board, now I can really keep up with where everyone else is in their cycle! I don't know what I'll do if I am PG though, I may have to give it up just as quickly as I got it!

Got some Holiday cards from my TTC for the 1st time buddies! YAY! I love getting mail when it isn't bills! I got cards from Candace (cmelaughing), Michelene (Nevadamtnbear) and Nicky (nickylynnluckes)!!! Thanks everyone, I am looking forward to more cards coming in!

Thanks for Reading!
Cherie Biggrin

Nicky - Thanks for the card! Did you make it yourself? It's cute! I like your handwriting too, mine is so messy! I sent mine out before you, I think, did you get mine?

Melissa - Congratulations! Hope to be joining you on the August board!

Joined: 08/23/02
Posts: 16

CD 31
16 DPO

+ HPT!!!

Holy Moly, we're going to have a BABY!!! Our EDD is August 18th 2004, and our first appointment with the new OB/GYN is on Tuesday, December 16th!

OK, so I haven't been around because I was afraid of jinxing it. I didn't want anyone to know my testing date because I thought if I told when I planned on testing, that I'd get AF that day. I actually planned on testing yesterday, but realized I had Damon hide my tests with my Christmas presents last month, and they were still there! When I took it, the 2nd line came up immediately and it ended up darker than the control line! I woke Damon up, made sure he was awake enough, and then told him he was going to be a daddy! I'd been crying since I saw the + HPT! I was in shock!!! It still hasn't sunk in!

I've been incredibly superstitious this month! Here is what I mean: I found a picture of a garden gnome and make it the background on my computer. I'd heard that a member of the March 2004 board found a gnome in her garden one day and soon after she was PG, then the gnome vanished like it had mysteriously appeared! (let me know if you want the pic, LOL!) I printed out the pictures of the fertility statues from the Ripley's site and taped one on either side of our bedroom door, and touched them every time I went into the bedroom and asked DH to try to remember to do the same. I found out like a week ago that Kokopelli is also a fertility symbol, so I dug out a Kokopelli potholder I have (lol) and put it above the bed and touched it once in a while! Then the whole not telling my testing day thing. I think that's all of them.

Here is what we did differently other than the superstitious stuff:
We BD'ed with the pillow underneath EVERY time, and after BD, we stayed joined together for 10 minutes afterwards. It was a little awkward, but I'm PG now, so I guess it worked! I think that's all!

Symptoms were slight, I pretty much explained them all away because I didn't want to get my hopes up... let me think...

+ OPK on Nov. 25th.
BD'ed Nov 22nd-27th every day.
There was a little bit of creamy CM on 4 DPO and other DPO's but I didn't keep track anymore because I'd had CM after O before.
I had some cramping and Diarrhea :oops: on 5 DPO.
Sore nipples since 6 DPO, but it seemed to lessen as time went on, but never went away fully (and I still have them, but it's not too bad...yet Wink )
Heartburn on the morning of 6 DPO
Breakouts on face & body a week before AF was due
Lower back pain 13 DPO and 16 DPO, maybe other days too.
16 DPO + HPT!

There wasn't anything that I couldn't attribute to something else, like wishful thinking, 2WW insanity, etc.!

There were a few other things, but I'm not sure they'd be considered symptoms. I'll put them down anyway for those of you still TTC, just in case they'll help someone down the line. As I got closer to testing, I found it harder to stay asleep at night. I'd do a lot of tossing and turning in bed. I don't know, it might have just been testing anticipation or AF checking that made my nights difficult. We'll see when I go to bed tonight if I have a restful night's sleep or not! I pee a lot anyway, so I wouldn't have noticed an increase in that, and I didn't seem any more tired or hungry than usual (I think today I am more hungry than usual - all in my head now that I know???). I also had BM's :oops: every day at least once. I'm sure you wanted to hear about that! I also may have had one or two incidents of pregnancy brain already - I forgot to pay the rent on time for the first time in over 5 years! But I am usually the one that remembers all of that stuff, that's why I am in charge of doing it in the first place. I guess I started thinking of myself as PG at some point, but didn't want to get my hopes up too much or jinx it, so I was always mentally telling myself that I was getting my hopes up too high and to stop thinking that way! Now I can finally believe it! And here I thought I'd be going on to the 7+ months board!

I'm telling my family on Christmas Day. After they open all of their presents, I'll give them one more Smile I'm actually a little scared of telling them! We won't tell Damon's family or anyone else until after the 1st trimester is over. I just hope neither of his sisters (or my sister) gets PG while I am! I want to do this by myself! I will NOT find it fun to be PG together, because this is my first and they all have at least one already!

I'm most worried about Damon's oldest sister. She accidentally got PG and then miscarried last month, 6 months after leaving the father of her 2 youngest children. She has 3 already, and if she got PG again while I was, I would not enjoy doing it together, but I think she would love it and cling to me. It's bad enough because I know they're all going to give me tons of "advice"! :roll: I also worry about hurting her feelings, because of the recent M/C, but it's something I'll have to face when the 1st trimester is over. I hope everyone takes the news well.

I'm really looking forward to my 1st appointment, so I can have a medical professional tell me I'm pregnant and make it seem a LITTLE more real! I'm going to that one alone, and I won't even meet my OB/GYN at that visit, but I will the next time and Damon will go with me to that one. I hope the Doc and I mesh well! She's so close to my home! It would be very convenient! I keep thinking AF is going to come at any moment and that the HPT will have been wrong - I need to push those thoughts and all my other negative thoughts away and ENJOY this!

So I guess my next step is to start my Pregnancy journal. I will start that soon! Thanks to everyone who reads my journal, I hope you'll continue to do so with my new one!!!


HUGS and Baby dust to you all!!!
Cherie Biggrin

PS - Damon has been Smoke-free for a month!!! WAHOOO!!!!