I am writing this for a couple of reasons. 1.) Because the people that I always talk to about it are probably tiring of hearing it. 2.) Because it brings me so much comfort to read others' journals.
So, here's the story.
We had our first child in November of 2002. He was conceived farely easily. It took three cycles and we didn't chart or temp. This led me to believe (for some reason) that it would be even easier to conceive this time. Wrong. Well.. We knew last September of last year that we would want to start a year from then (this September) ttc our second child. I had it all planned out. I was going to get pregnant in September and then graduate in May and have a baby in June. Well, not so much.
September, I didn't chart or temp, just went by my cm and also bd every other day almost the entire month. Well, at the end of the month I was having some ewcm, so I ofcourse jumped on the ole' internet and starting trying to find reasons to believe that it was a sign of pregnancy. Ofcourse I found them everywhere. This led me to test early (something I typically won't do) Well, I bought a box of tests that are supposed to be able to render results five days early. Great for me! Well, I took the test and put it down and started the timer. I was half way expecting it to be negative, but also very hopeful. When the 3 minutes was up, I went in and holy cow, it was bfp!!!!!! I was shaking, heart racing.. I didn't want to wake my husband up because I had planned how special it was going to be to tell him this time. (Last time he was with me when I found out) Well.. I can't hold it in. I go in there and I wake him up (midnight) and tell him we're pregnant. He was so happy, I was so happy.. Great. Well, then I went and called a friend and told her the happy news. At this point I'm starting at my hpt in joy and disbelief and uh oh.. the line starts to disappear... Huh.. what's that all about? Then it's gone. Luckily the box came with two, so I took the other one. Very obvious positive, and then after ten minutes the line disappears. Hum... pregnant? Not so much. Then I have to go in and tell my husband, sorry, false alarm!
So, I get over that trauma, on to cycle 2. I was ok with it, because it's not that often that it happens with one try right? Well, cycle two comes around and I have promised not to test early!!!! Af day comes, but no af. Ofcourse my hopes get very high!!!!! The next day I test, bfn. I'm still hopeful because I got a bfn with ds. So... next, next, next... no af. Five days late!!!!!! Ugh.. why?????? Ok, onto cycle # 3. It's ok Malisa.. It's only been two cycles. Get over yourself.
So, at the end of cycle number three, but a week early, I start spotting brown blood. Ofcourse, I'm pretty excitied.. Implantation bleeding, yay.. This goes on lightly for three days. But so light a lot of times it's not there and it never even gets on my underwear. Ope' here we go again, af late that night. Then it was there the next day. Then it was gone.. WEll, ofcourse I had myself convinced that I was one of the lucky ones who has a period but is still pregnant. Took an hpt, nope.. not so much!!!!!!!!
Well, this is our fourth cycle and the first to use opk's and temping. I'm still very frightened and nervous about doing something wrong with those, but am hopeful that this will be our month! I tell everyone it's ok to be hopeful because assuming you're not pregnant doesn't make it any easier to see a bfn!
So, this is my month! look out old navy cause I'm gonna start shopping for maternity clothes next month while they're on sale!!!!!!!!!
That's my story