So - my vacation was wonderful! Orcas Island was beautiful... and I had much fun hanging out with my girlfirends. There were a bunch of ladies there that went through fertility issues, so I got to hear all about there successes (either through IVF or adoption), and they are all routing for our success with this first IVF cycle.
Tomorrow morning we go into talk to the doctor. I don't really have a list of questions ready - but I'm sure I will think of some good ones between now and then. Of course, I'm hoping to be able to do a May cycle, but I have not idea of the plans.
OK - great meeting with the RE today. He thinks my weight is looking good, and wants to recommend that I go to his clinic instead of Brigham and Woman's. Of course, they just changed their rules, and wants me to lose another 5 pounds - but we decided for an ER date in July - so I should be fine for that. We talked a little about trying to make it for May - but even if I had done the bloodwork, I probably wouldn't have enough time to get my insurance approved.
I'll need to get CD 3 bloodwork drawn, and a bunch of other bloodtests. And then I'll start BC pills with the beginning of my June cycle - and the shots will start after that. Fun stuff (not!). Although, it's good to have a plan.
I think I'm going to stop charting and stuff for now. Of course - lots of BDing and hoping - but I'll take these three months as a little break as we gear up for the trials and tribulations that I'm sure will come with all the IVF stuff. It'll be interesting to see the impact of the homones, stress and my EDD for the ectopic in June. I should wear a warning label for that month!
In other really sad news, I found out the a friend of a friend lost their 2 month old baby to SIDS. I can't even imagine going though that. I have them in my prayers...
OK. I've been brewing about this for days. I can't decide if I'm being a total witch with a B or if my feelings are vaild. Here we go. One of the women I went away on vacation with (who knows me and my fertility struggles very well) had a double mastecomy from her struggle with breast cancer 7 years ago. On this trip - we were joking around around boobs (a bunch of women in one spot, right?!?!) and she said under her breath - 'At least you have them'.
And I felt bad. I'm a fan of my boobs, and my DH is also... but I do know that if the issue presented itself - they would be sacrified for my health. No questions asked. So I tried to be careful about making boob comments around her.
One night, we are sitting around, talking about random things and drinking wine... this was after dinner where we spent a bunch of time discussing my upcoming RE appointment to talk about IVF - and all the trouble we had been having with getting pregnant and how frustrating and stressful it was fo me.... she starts talking about her kids. And how easy it was for her to get pregnant. The other people start talking about their kids also, and look at me, and say at least something to acknowledge that they know I don't have kids - but will soon. And then they all proceed to go on and on and on about thier kids and pregnancy blah blah blah blah.
AUGH! Not that I'm comparing my struggles with fertilty to CANCER but honestly. If I could realize how hurtful my boob comments were - couldn't she see how her 'easy' pregnancies and her getting pregnant while on the pill stories were hurtful to me!?!?!
Whatever. I decided to not chart anymore. I always ovulate. I just have 'egg catching' issues.
OK - I should be ovulating soon...CM is starting to indicate it - but - I'm not temping or using OPKs, so who knows? It's kind of nice. I tend to get rather obsessed checking my chart, checking my chart against that one BFP chart I had, then cross checking against other charts that look like mine that resulted in an BFP....
I can only really stress about one thing at a time. So - for the next 2+ months, I'm stressing out about losing those 5 pounds, and getting back in really good shape. I've been going to Bikram yoga 4 times a week, and now I'm adding in either walking or swimming each day too. At least I'm sleeping well!
Geez! Haven't posted here in a while. BUt - since I'm not actively TTCing, I feel like I don't have much to report. I did call my RE as he requested to remind him to start the papaerword for my insurance IVF approval. And made an appointment for the end of the month to discuss protocols... so I feel like we are making progress.
As for the weight loss, I'm really doing great. I'm down the 5 pounds I absolutly needed to lose, now I'm focusing on the next 9 that he said would be 'nice' to get down too. I'm feeling a lot better - doing a lot of walking outside in this nice weather, and having fun going to yoga too.
Now that I'm not totally obsessing about this whole baby making thing - I do feel better! I'm bit more relaxed - still trying to BD at the right time.. but the part that is really nice? Not stressing about all the money that I was spending on OPKs and acupunture and the herbs. At a minimum, I was spending $340 a month!!! I never added it all up - but I was pretty tight at the end of the month, and now, I'm not even worrying.
Well - AF actaully showed on Sunday, a day early. Since I'm not obsessing about TTCing, I've been obsessing on losing weight. Which means weighing myself daily. Which I know is dumb. But - when I weighed myself on Sunday, I had gained 3 pounds since Friday, and yesterday - I was up to 4!!! AUGH! But - since I've never weighed myself daily - I had no idea that I gained that much water weight with AF. Today I'm down 2.5 pounds... so hopefully, when AF leaves, I'll be back to at least where I was last week.
I've really been kicking in on the working out and eating right thing... and I'm still feeling really great.
Today I went in and got my CD 3 bloodwork done.... my first of I'm assuming many tests that I have to go through before I start the IVF stuff in June/July. I wonder if they will call me with all the results before I see my RE on the 29th? Last time all the bloodwork came back totally normal, so I'm not even worried. I know it's just a formality, as the last time they did this kind of workup was when we first started seeing the RE in April of last year.
Well... CD 9. Nothing really exciting to report on the TTC front. 2 week to go until we see the RE to find out the IVF protocol. I'm guessing that I'll get AF around June 3rd, and that will be our last natural cycle, or he'll put me on BC. Then... assuming things continue on 'normally', I'll get AF on July 1st... and get the IVF fun started. That'll have me starting the shots while my father is visiting... which is definitly NOT a good thing - but the ER in the middle of July.
So - by August I could be knocked up! That would be pretty freaking awesome.
This weekend, Aaron was talking about wanting to get on the weight loss bandwagon with me - which is good. I know that he is pretty sensitive about his current weight - but isn't really doing anything about it. And - he doesn't really have a choice in the matter for dinner - he eats what I cook! BUt good to know he'll be making an effort. My weight loss is going really well. I'm feeling great and the number is steadily dropping.