Lindsay (TTC#1 1yr) "We Are Each Of Us Angels With Only One Wing"
"...And Can Fly Only By Embracing Each Other."
I'm usually really weird about these online journal things, but I figured, eh, why not have a place to go to when I'm stressing over TTC.
I should introduce myself by saying that my name is Lindsay. I'm 24 and from Kentucky. I got married to the greatest man ever, Jeremy, on September 29, 2007. We just started trying this month (January.) AF came on the 25th, so I decided to start temp charting. We got a BBT thermometer the other day. I've been temping quite low for some reason... I'm going to continue to see what happens.
Why am I doing this?:
I want a baby to complete my family. I feel that I'm prepared to be a good mother, and I know that my husband will be such a wonderful father. I pray that God blesses us with a child everyday now. I'm doing the same for everyone else on the boards! I know we all want a BFP! *sends baby vibes*
Problems with conceiving?:
-I've had chronic cysts on the ovaries to where I've had to be on birth control to shrink them. Yeah, it makes it a little hard to get pregnant when you're on the pill! They can also be very painful especially around ovulation time.
-Now double that pain! I also have a bladder illness that is very painful and unfortunately incurable called Interstitial Cystitis (IC) along with something called Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. This makes getting pregnant hard because it can often times cause even more pain after intercourse. It's either that, or I'm in pain already and can't have sex with my DH. I've dealt with this for over two years now, and there doesn't seem to be a lot known about it. I'm currently on medication for it though. If anyone else has any of these problems please feel free to contact me. Especially about IC. (I've heard that heating pads are bad, so it worries me that I have to use one of those as well to help with bladder issues...)
-They think that at the beginning of last January 07 I had a miscarriage. If I was pregnant I wasn't very far along at all. Just weeks, and I didn't even know it. By the time they did a test the hormone would have been out of my body. I bled for two weeks. I'm still bothered by the fact that I don't know... It worries me that we can't have kids. It's a big worry of mine...
The good news?:
I've read up about IC and apparently women can conceive, go through labor, and it doesn't cause infertility. I know, and have read, that the 3rd trimester will be harder than it is for most, but it's worth it to at least bring one child into this world! If it's too hard on me, I won't have another, so right now I'm just looking for my one little miracle.
It's going to be a rough and tough road, but I'm prepared for it. I hope to meet a bunch of new friends along my journey of TTC and hopefully through my first pregnancy as well. I hope to remain positive about it all! That's all I can really do!
SOME UPDATED INFO AS OF 9/14/08
1) I'm much more open now about things and am not as shy about blogging as before.
2) I'm 25, and mine and DH's one year wedding anniversary is coming up on September 29th!
3) We tried for four months, slowed down for three, so I came back mid cycle 8.
4) I started temping again near the end of cycle 8 and will continue to do so if I don't get pg.
5) I still believe that God will give us a baby when the time is right no matter how hard we try.
6) DH and I's sex life is WAY better. If you read below you will see some problems we had and somehow thankfully they got fixed! So, yay for that!
7) I'm not sure about my problems with ovarian cysts, but I'm sure they are still somewhat of an issue...
8 ) I still have Interstitial Cystitis since it is incurable and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction along with it, and I don't see the illnesses going away any time soon =[ However, I've been ingesting Marshmallow root through pills and tea. I've heard it can do wonders to help heal the insides and sooth them like Aloe would.
9) Do I still live in chronic pain? Yes. Ever since December 24, 2005. It's hard to want to BD when you're in pain so conceiving for me will be easier said than done because what if I'm in loads of pain on a day I'm O'ing? I can't just jump in the bed and BD. That would kill me. Thankfully, I have a very loving and patient husband!!
10) Good news about getting pregnant and having Interstitial Cystitis is people like me with moderate to severe pain often times feel less pain during pregnancy and sometimes their symptoms will go into remission so that's awesome. (The third trimester will be really hard though.) This would be AMAZING since I fear pregnancy to be quite hard on me, and am nearly terrified of labor still because of my bladder.
11) I'll be considered high risk no matter what because there are meds I will continue to HAVE to be on.
12) There is a possibility that I had another m/c for my 3rd cycle TTC. Now that I have a paid account with FF you can check it out by clicking on the ticker in my signature.
13) If not pregnant by Christmas I plan to buy some Clear Blue Digital OPKs. If you look through my journal you will find pics with OPKs I used, but I think I would prefer seeing a smiley face to a line. Sometimes it's hard to tell if it's as dark or darker than the control line.
14) I've learned that TTC is such a rough road. I constantly wonder when it will be MY turn to be a mom... Though, I want to keep trying. I'm determined for us to bring a healthy baby into this world.