TTC for 2nd time i think
A little background first.
I got PG when i was 19, i was still having a sexual realtionship with my ex, but it wasn't often, some may call it a booty call from time to time. Well i remember that i had taken the MAP a week before my Af arrived which arrived 19th sept 98, so anyway my ex and i had an encounter oct 3rd 98, so these times i wasn't think about getting pregnant, anyway we had sex and when we were finished i couldn't find the condom, looked everywhere couldnt find it, ex said he had it so i let that alone, later on that night , took a bath and felt something down below, when i felt and tugged the condom came out but this was like 8 hrs later.
Fast forward Af like 30days late.31st oct98 went to clinic not even thinking about a pos result, well it was, was so shocked walked home, like 8 miles.
Spoke to ex few days later told him news, he's reply was, "its not mine" shock again, which sent me into denial, when i finally went to see midwife i was 16 wks. hadn't told anyone, but was taking folic acid even though in denial. Then when i finally told my mom not out of choice, a letter came with this result address to ms and at the time there were 3 ms at home mom opened letter and read. Mom was very upset as i was about to start uni, did not want me to have baby. Daily constant pressure in the end broke down, didn't have no support network, mom arranged abortion 12th feb 99 went ahead, spent 3 days in hospital was 22wks nearly 23 by this time. :cry:
Was just getting used to becoming a mom. Felt so empty after. could stop cryin. when on BCP after fear of getting PG again.
Fast forward to 2000 met current B/f decided that in 2003 we would TTC, came off BCP in Nov 02, started ttc march 03, after 18 months nothing.
When to see gyn who sent me for test, B/f refused to go for test as he has 2 kids already by the same woman,one is currently gonna be 5 in april and other gonna be 3 in march both boys, ur probably thinking his kids were concieved while we were together, well B/f wasn't completly honsest bout his past when we met. So he refused to test coz of age of his kids.
Anyway i had test done, blood test to see if i'm O, had pevic ultrasound, Lapaosopy march 05, hysterosopymarch 05, result all fine except on second U/s something was noticed.
So it turns out i had bone left over from my baby from the abortion in 99, so in oct 28th 05 i had that removed. dr said that was prob reason werent gettin pG, So in nov 05 decided to try TTC again.
Well after joining this board and looking up on internet, i'm convinced i've got hostile CM, coz i don't remember seeing no EWCM since i started TTC back in 03.
And then Before i got pg in 98 my Af was every 28days without fail, but all of a sudden it aint every 28days. Since my operation in oct 05, my dates have been nov 7th 05, dec 5th 05, jan 1st 06, jan27th 06, well 26 days is the shortest i can remember.
Well i was geting O pains usually, but last cycle did not get any signs for O or Af was coming except i had a really bad toothache, so that prob took my mind of anything.
So as of feb 5th 06 i started using OPK which i ordered with some pre seed coz after reading all those testimonals i figure it might work for me, with having this hostile CM coz i'm convinced that is what i have, although i don't really drink much water, so that might be a reason for it anyway.
So at 1.45pm GMT since sun i've been testing with opk, sun definately neg. But yesterday and today , faint line in test line, but after talkin to some ladies here, test line gotta be darker than control so as soon as i see that i'm gonna use the pre seed and see what happens for this cycle.
so i guess i'll be updating tomoro.
well i tested with OPK weds at work bout 1.55pm GMT and both test line and control were same colour, so pos i think, but i think i'll test later.
Tested again weds night and again same think so i think i'm gonna O, but B/f has gone out and didn't get back till 7am thurs morning. So i guess we will be thurs night.
Used pre seed for the first time tues 7th feb, but forgot to shake the tube first, but used it all. Didn't tell b/f coz i wanted to see if he could tell the difference. All he kept saying was "your wet tonight, what u thinkin bout". pre seed, hmm could tell the difference really felt better but not like whoa.
tested with opk yesterday about 1.55pm GMT got faint line on test line, what does that mean, i've all confused myself now.
Checked the instructions and it says a pos should stay pos for several days. so when i came home from work last night bout 9.30pm, i looked at weds night OPK and still to lines same colour bit lighter but still same colour, so did i or didn't i O on weds.
well me and b/f BD last night, used pre seed, shook tube before i used it, and 15 mins before. felt difference last night from tuesday night, or maybe it was probably the position we were in. I know they say it's not good idea to be on top when TTC, but that how we started we me on top then doggy. hope this works, although when changing to doggy , b/f leaked a bit (TMI) but hopefully didn't lose alot, all i was think was "can u not leak on my rug"
It annoying when BD coz i can never tell when b/f has come, he dont make any type of noise, so i always gotta ask :D
well sunday night i had some pains like af pains and was wondering if its a bit early for AF pains, since AF is not due till 23rd or so the calender says. Had this pain yesterday (monday) as well. So around 12am last night i used a OPK to test just incase i got a pos opk on 8th feb and it wasn't right, but this was neg. so i dont know what is going on. i'm getting the pain right now as im typing and i also got a headache coming on.
gonna take some parcetomol or something. so i gotta another week and a bit to wait.
well i haven't written for a while, but up date is that i was sure that feb was my month and was hoping for a BFP on my birthday 24th feb 06, well AF arrived the day before, so i was really disappointed but i tried to enjoy my birthday. which i did.
SO i'm completly broke but found 2 OPK in my drawer from last month so i used those. So last night i tested about 10pm and got a pos. so B/f and i BD last night using Pre seed. And i tested again tonight about 9pm and got a another pos. well the lines were the same colour but test line wasn't as thick as control but i'm thinking its still pos.
B/f has gone out, but when he gets back we are gonna BD if i aint too tired. so i guess we will see.
Speakin to the ladies on the TTC 0-12, they suggested that we BD every other day from sun, but i aint been feeling well so last night was the first time we BD in my fertile time, so i guess if we BD tonight and friday i'm hoping that might do it