TTC #3

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Joined: 03/16/15
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TTC #3

Hi, my name is Dawn. I just recently started trying to have another baby. I have 2 already, and they were totally unplanned. My dh and I decided to have 3, and we want to do it right this time. We've only been trying for two months, but I'm pretty sure its not gonna happen this month. The first month, though we weren't expecting anything, was a bit disappointing. I started having nausea, was late on my af, and everything. I took an early test before my af was due, and it came back negative. But when af never came, I really started to get excited. I didn't want to believe it too soon (somewhere deep in my heart I knew I wasn't pg yet) but I had all sort of symptoms and really though I was pg. Then I took a test during my annual doc appt, and discovered I really wasn't. Then af came and the last confirmation I needed was there. Even though I had been only begun trying, it was still disappointing. I think mostly I'm scared because of how easily my first two came. Each time my husband and I had slipped on bc 1 time, and it happened. So now I'm afraid that since I want to be pg, I won't be able to conceive. Good luck to everyone out there, especially the ones who have been trying to for a long time. Smile
Oh, btw, I'm still getting used to the acroynms, so forgive me if I misuse something :?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well its Sunday and AF is here. Not a big suprise, we totally missed the o-window this month. Now that I know for sure what my cycle is things should go a little smoother. Before I was still working everything out with my cycle becuase coming off of BC had thrown everything out of sync. My DH has been great about it all. He originally wanted to wait until after our daughter turned 2 before we tried for another, but he sensed how badly I wanted to try now and said lets go for it. So I guess this would be the 3rd month we're trying now. Just hoping hoping hoping...

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend (where I work we're open on the holidays and this is one I have to work)

Dirol

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well AF is coming to an end. Somehow I made it with absolutely no cramps. I really havent had any since I went off BC... hmmm I hope my BC doesn't cause it because I had every intention of going back to it after this baby. My DH is so excited now that we have a solid date to go by for my O window. Its nice having him be as excited about this as me. My 4 1/2 year old had the stomach flu yesterday. I felt so horrilbe watching him lay on the couch in misery, and there was nothing I could do to make him feel better. It made me feel like a bad mom, even though I was giving him medicine and pedialite. Then my daughter, who's 1 1/2, woke up with a cold. She wasn't nearly as bad off as her brother, but she was very stubborn and clingy all day. She seems to be ok now. Of course, I'm at work, so I'm not quite sure... :-? I work evenings, a fact that throws a little bit of a wrench into ttc... but we make it work Smile Well happy friday to everyone (although i work weekends, so really this is my monday :evil:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, I was looking at the calendar today and discovered a tiny bit of a problem for this month. Usually for me o comes on the 14th cd, and this month that will fall on a Saturday. Problem is I work saturay evenings, so we'll have to find a time during the morning or afternoon to be alone together, not an easy feat. But I'm determined to do it! My daughter ended up coming down with the stomach flu last night. I slept on the floor next to her bed to help her when she got sick. She's not quite big enough yet to get the concept of throwing up in a bucket, or even away from her bed. A whole lot of clothes and sheet changing went on last night. They say that once you get a certain strain of the flu you can't get that exact same strain back, so I'm hoping the kids won't end up passing it back and forth. Well good night all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well dh and began the bd-ing marathon monday night and continued it last night. I've been trying to explain to him the idea of bd every other day up to and around O. I've read a lot of articles stating that every day is too much, but every other day is just right. He wants to bd EVERY DAY. Not that I would normally mind... sorry if TMI... Last month I didn't want to tell my DH about the every other day thing because I was trying not to take of the romance out of it. That was how we ended up missing the window for o-ing entirely. So this month I told him. Every other day up to, on, and after O. Now he thinks its funny, because on friday I wouldn't bd for anything. I'm such an impatient person! When I make a decision to something I want it done now! Well its officially Saturday now... hopefully today will be the lucky day for me.

JB&MB I've been coming back every day to see if you've taken that test yet! Good luck!

CNLP Good luck on Monday!

Have a good weekend everybody

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well if my cycle has stayed the same since I had my other two kids, today (well techincally yesterday as its 2am) I should have O'd today. I'm so horrible at telling if i've O'd any other way than the day of the month. I keep trying to open the bbt chart tool on this site so I can try that but it won't open! I've tried doing the cervical check but quite honestly I just can't tell the difference. It used to be that I had pain in one of my ovaries when I O'd, very sharp, disabling pain that I panicked about only to find out it was normal. Well now that I could actually use that pain for something good (knowing when its time), its gone. I think it may have been gone for awhile and I just didn't notice, but darn it! It chose a fine time to go away! My dh was such a pain today! He couldn't get in the "mood". I understand that, but what frustrated me was that at first it was like he wasn't even trying. Was more interested in football. I got upset about how today was very important to ttc, but he got defensive and said its not the end of the world if its next month and not this month. Yea, true, but I want to give every month my best! Well eventually things smoothed over and we did bd. Wasn't very romantic. As I said before, I had to work so we had to find time to be alone during the day. Our son came in from playing and started pounding on our bedroom door to be let it. I have a bad feeling about this month. Actually, I have a bad feeling about ttc. NOT IN ANYWAY THAT I DON'T WANT TO. By that I mean that I feel like because we're trying so hard, it won't happen. Like if we just let it go, it will happen. But thats so hard to do because I want it so bad!!! Another thing I need to do is get away from reading every article I can get my hands on. I'm sitting here trying to find out if I should talk to my doctor if I haven't conceived at 6 months or 12, different articles say different times. A part of me wants to go with fertility drugs because I would love to have twins. The other part is scared to death that it would end up more! I shouldn't even be thinking about that stuff, this is only my 3rd month trying! I seem to drive myself crazy with all this reading. With my daughter I had read so much on sids that I laid awake at night staring at her crib, watching her breath. Ok well enough rambling from me tonight. Obviously its late so I should be heading to bed. Well home from work and then bed. Bye-bye.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

09-19-04

Well its 1 dpo and I think I've officially lost my mind :? . I felt sick to my stomach for a good portion of the night and I keep wanting to attribute it to being pregnant! I'm only 1 DPO i know there is no way I'm already having syptoms. I'm so obsessed with it I want to look at everything as a symptom. I was reading other posts and realized that I haven't given too much background on myself, I don't think so anyhow. We started having our kids young, the first 2 were not intention but a blessing all the same. We decided that we want to keep our kids only a few years apart so they would play well with each other. I also figure since I started young I'd like to finish young, so the kids are grown while I'm still young enough to have some fun Dirol . I've always wanted a kids. When I was a child I told my mom I wanted 20 kids. I was an only child, and I hated it. My dad died when I was 2 and my mom had a really hard time having me, so I think I was just meant to be an only child. So far I've taken after my grandma who had 8 kids :shock: . I didn't have any problems getting pregnant with the first two and I've always been regular (you could chart a calendar by my cycles!) which is just like her. Right now my DH and I plan on 3 kids, so this would be our last. He wants to get fixed after this one, but I'm against it. I'd rather go on BC, just in case we change our mind. I LOVE babies so I don't want to risk 10 years from now wanting one and there being no hope :-? . My DH and I were married in July 2002. I was pg w/my daughter and my son was 2 1/2. He was the cutest ring bearer ever. I found I was pg after buying my dress, and had to beg the bridal place for a bigger size. They let me do it then got snippy with me when I had to do last minute alterations (it fit in the stomach but nowhere else) b/c they request final fittings 3 months before the wedding. I was like well I didn't know I was pg 3 months ago!!! I felt bad for my dh through the wedding/honeymoon because I was so tired all the time he got stuck w/everything. I was so tired I physcially could not carry my dress out of the church after the ceremony/reception. Anyhow in the current I work in customer service. DH isn't working right now but trying desperately to find a job. The economy where I am isn't doing to great right now, a lot of buisnesses have had lay offs or closed completely. I also have a niece who is almost 1 year old. I think of her often when I'm reading these boards. So many of you have so much trouble ttc yet her mother had her and spends all her time trying to get someone else to watch her. I wish any of you would have been her mommy! She is the cutest thing though and I love watching her and my daughter play together. Well I think thats enough for me tonight. Good luck to everyone! Blum 3

FYI the above ovulation date is one day too late... I ovulate on the 14th date.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

testing my new signature...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well not much here on the ttc front. My AF is due on Oct 3, so I won't be testing until at least the 4th. I haven't been feeling well which is making it impossible to tell if I have any symptoms. I have a cold and a sore throat, so although I've had nausea I think its more due to illness then anything. I called off work this week for a migraine, which I'm regretting now as this cold gets worse. At least I start a 9 day vacation on Wensday. I can't wait. The best part is I'll be on vacation when I find out if I am pg or not, so either way I won't be totally distracted at work or depressed at work. Well its bed time for the kids so I'll stop in later. Bye all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

By the way congragulations JB!!! Don't let your DH get to you. My DH wasn't exstatic w/our first two, but seing their ultrasound and actually holding his baby changed the world for him. When he saw our daughter born the first thing he said to me (after its a girl) was I want another one! So dont sweat it... just enjoy every minute and every day of being PG!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ugh I hate being sick!!! My nose is so stuffed up I have to breathe through my mouth and I feel like I could pass out at any minute :cry: I'm still at work though, worked last night too. No sick time to take. I'm sure I look pretty pathetic walking around with a crumpled tissue in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. Everyone keeps telling me how sick I look and asking why I came in. Oh well :-? Well on the TTC front its really hard to tell right now. I've had nausea but with being sick I figure its more likely to be due to being ill than to being PG. I've also had to pee more often lately. I've been trying to figure out if I've been drinking more due to my sore throat, but I don't think so. I really haven't had a sore throat since the first day I was sick (thursday). So maybe, hopefully its a sign! My birthday is in October so being pg would be the perfect present. Well I think I'm at cd 21 and dpo 7, so a little more than a week from now I'll have my answer! I can't wait! But then again I'm scared too because AF could come on Sunday! And that would stink. But I'll have to wait and see. Good luck to all the ttc-ers!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well only 1 day later and I feel so much better! All I have left from my cold is some mild coughing and a raw nose from the tissues. DH was so sweet today. Made breakfast and brought it to me in bed. It was such a nice thing. I've been looking up a lot of stuff about how early you can test (I'm so impatient) I found a website that actually gave the expected hcg levels for different dates dpo... from what it said I could test as early as Friday... then I read further and foudn that the particular test I have (cheap one from Walmart) is more likely not to work until the following Monday, the original day I had planned on testing. Got my hopes up there for a second. I dunno, I might get impatient and go buy one of the more sensitive test. Some tests are so sensitive you can test (possibly) as early as 10 dpo. At 10 dpo hcg can range from 10-50ml and these tests need 20-25. Here's a link to the article, its on WEB MD:

http://boards.webmd.com/message.asp?message_id=2856291

So, if you went to that site, I'm thinking of getting an EPT, which seems to me like it would probably work at 13 dpo. I've never heard of the first set of tests. If I can't wait 3 days extra to find out IF I'm pg I don't know how I'll ever follow my pg plan. I don't plan on telling most people until I reach the 3rd month, you know, out of that danger zone. I'll tell my family a few select co-workers but thats all I plan on. But I don't know how I'll ever keep it to myself!!! Yesterday one of my co-workers asked if I was taking anything for my cold... I said no and explained that I am ttc (they already knew my DH and I were wanting a 3rd) and explained that right now I'm at a point where I could be PG but won't know for another week. Another co-worker overheard the word "pregnant" and screamed out "you're pregnant?!" and got all excited. So then I had to spend the next couple of minutes explaining that no, I'm not pg, not yet anyhow. So I figure it will interesting to see how long I can keep in a secret. OH another thing. I go on 9 days of blissfull vacation starting Wensday!!! I'm so excited! I haven't had a vacation in over a year, 5 days off in a row in over 2 years, and a full week off since febuary of '02. I'm overworked and I NEED this vacation. Maybe then I'll start to relax and ttc will easier!!! Well I'll be back later, probably on tuesday. Good luck everyone!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well I just wanted to update on my symptoms so far. I mentioned before that I've had go to the bathroom a lot. Well, I started paying attention to the time tonight, and I've been going to the bathroom to pee every 2 hours since I started timing my self. :!: I started timing at 7pm and I went then, at 9, 11, and 1am (the current time here). I want so badly to look at it as a symptom but then I don't want to look to much into it and get my hopes up. :roll: But if I'm not pg this month, I'm going to be mad about all these bathroom trips! :twisted:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Symptom update: My boobs hurt. I know, odd post, but hey, its what I got right now. Trying to keep my mind off AF!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, I didn't realize how hard it would be to get online while Im on vacation from work. I was really cranky yesterday. I kept trying to blame it on DH getting me up too early, but really I don't think that was it. I was just in the mood to be cranky. I'm hoping it turns out to be pg hormones, that way Im excused Biggrin Well I had a little bit of cramping yesterday. I'm not too concerned about it because I had cramping around this time when I was pg with my daughter. I don't feel pg though. I keep thinking about taking my test early, but I know if its BFN it will be a big waste of money, especially if AF does come on Sunday. I'm trying to just wait and see!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well its Friday. On my pre bc cycle AF would have come yesterday. On my post bc cycle its due Sunday. I almost broke down and tested today. I talked myself out of it since it would be the first thing in the morning. I've made a deal with myself. If I go through the tests I have w/out getting PG, I will buy a set of early tests. I sound crazy huh.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Busy busy weekend. Saturday I decided to clean my house as much as I could. I cleaned, vacummed, got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed, and folded laundry until my back wouldn't let me do anymore. I started getting the feeling that AF was coming. I just don't feel pg. Saturday night I watched the Buckeyes lose their first game this season. The one game this whole season I'll be home to see and they lose it!!! Oh well. Sunday I wanted to take the kids to church but over slept. I made a nice big Sunday dinner, which I don't get to do normally because of work. My sister in law decided not to show up without telling anyone. Kind of made me mad. She comes over every other day of the week, and the one day I was counting on her showing up she doesn't say a thing, just stays home. Oh well. Good news is AF never showed up yesterday! Biggrin But I took a test this morning and it was a BFN. Grrrr. A friend of mind might be coming over later to go get a test for herself (she is not ttc so I'm actually hoping for a BFN for her, which feels weird). If she does, we'll be buying an early test for her, and I'm going to take one. The test I had was a cheap one from Walmart, and it HAS to be taken the day after AF is due. So if I miscalculated even for just a few days that could be the problem. I figure if I take an early detection then I'll definately have my answer. Anyhow in a way I feel like it doesn't really matter, because I just don't feel pg!!! Normally I have really good instincts and can trust my body, but I'm hoping right now I'm wrong. Well enough rambling for now, I'm going to go check out some boards.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well... went to the bathroom about 1/2 hr ago and I was spotting. Looks like AF will be here by the end of the night. Haven't told DH yet, he already thinks I'm silly for taking a test today, said I should wait longer. I hate this! I can't even fathom being one of the ladies here who has been trying for years. I'm only getting ready to start my 4th month ttc and already I'm frustrated. I guess mostly I'm scared that I won't be able too. Maybe next month I'll trust my instincts and not test if I don't feel pg. Who am I kidding, I'll probably buy an early detection test and take it the first day I can Smile OH well, good luck and baby dust to all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, 3 posts in 1 day, I think I'm addicted! Well my day is certainely starting to look better. I finally got some news on DS and his preschool prospects. Andrew has a severe speech delay, which should be able to be corrected with help. The problem has been that our local childrens hospital has a 6 month long waiting list for their speech clinic, plus my insurance won't cover as many appointments as they would like him to have. They told me to enroll him in head start and a special preschool for kids just like him. Head start would bring in a speech therapist for him weekly. I tried head start, but they said I make too much money, even with him having a "disability", all the classrooms are filled. The ironic thing is I can't afford to send him to private preschool but I make to much for the so called public one. The special preschool wasn't looking too good either. I got in touch with them once, but could never get a hold of them again. Today I started calling private preschools to get some information on what it would take to send DS there. A few hours later, the lady from the special preschool called me! It was completely out of the blue, its been well over a month since I had contact with her. She's coming out for a home visit on Wensday and if she determines this is what he needs, he could start as soon as Friday! I'm so excited. I was so afraid we weren't going to be able to get his speech taken care of until Kindergarten, and that he was going to end up a year behind in school. Yay! Ok, I promise, this is it for today!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My cycles have me so lost. It used to be that once I started spotting, AF would show within a few hours. I had a little bit of spotting yesterday morning, and nothing since then. This is how it was my first cycle off BC. Late AF, little bit of spotting, then finally AF came over a week after it was due. Then my next cycle was normal, so I thought everything was set. Now its happening again this cycle. I'm so lost! Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well AF is still toying with me a bit, but I think its starting to be more definate. Monday was light spotting then nothing. Yesterday was a deeper red and more than just spotting, but nothing afterwards. And I had more like yesterday again this morning. So I'm still waiting for a day to call CD1. I haven't gotten to the store yet to buy a thermoter, but I think tempings going to be the only way for me to figure out my o-date at this point.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well af arrived full scale today, at least I think so... it's got me so lost right now... but I had to go to more than just a pantyliner finally (sorry if tmi) so I think its officially here. I have cramps tonight. Af arrived with a sore throat. I sound like Minnie mouse. I had to make an appt with sears today to get my stove fixed. We bought an flat top electric stove when we lived w/my father-in-law. We couldn't take it with us when we moved b/c they only had gas in our kitchen. We finally get the electric installed and get the stove over here, and one of the burners doesn't work. My sister-in law and her df (who moved in after we moved out) broke the stupid thing and failed to tell us. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy when I started yelling that they are paying for this!!! Am I wrong??? One very good wonderful thing happened yesterday. I mentioned before about my sons severe speech delay. We had a home visit yesterday from the special needs preschool coordinator. She spoke with ds for about 2 minutes and declared this child is not the same one in the testing that was done, and aside from a few sounds hes right on track!!! I'm so excited! He went from being severely delayed to perfectly fine! My son is fine!!! I know that there are a lot worse things than a speech delay, but its a relief knowing its gone. Shes going to get ds into a local preschool program where he's a "peer model". Its for normally developing children to go to school with the special needs students, to integrate them and make eveyone feel the same and learn from each other. Its perfect in so many ways. For one, it gets my son into preschool, he'll still benefit from the work they do with the speech delay students as far as his sounds, it will get him around other kids his age, and it will help him to feel comfortable around people different than him and to treat them the way they deserve, as normal people. Yay! Whew, I'm full of stuff to say today.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, my vacation from work is officially over. Actually it was over yesterday, but I had to call off. I had laringytis or however you spell it. I also have bronchitis which isn't really bothering me except I'm coughing all the time and I'm exhausted. I could barely sleep last night because everytime I laid down I started coughing. Oh well. Man this is the boring part of ttc... I'm on CD 3... I know I'm not pg AF is still here and O is almost 2 weeks away.... la di da... Oh well, my b-day is Friday so that should help me pas the time some... Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, I did not realize how important my nightly routines were to me! I have non ttc related bloodwork to get done tomorrow, and I can't have anything to eat or drink other than water for 10 hours prior. I'm going first thing in the morning when I get up. I wouldn't be such a big deal except that I work until 2am (its now 2:44am, Im home and trying to get ready to sleep). So even though I've been up, I haven't been able to have anything for the past few hours. I thrive on caffeine (I know, bad for ttc) and I'm used to coming home and having a small snack before bed along with a glass of chocolate milk (chocolate milk is like a staple in my family, no-ones too old). I can't do either, and its driving me nuts!! Oh well, despite the break of my routine, I am completely exhausted so hopefully I can sleep. On ttc... AF is still here, although shes winding down. I think she'll be gone by late monday early tuesday. Yay! Of course, then I still have a few days before bding commences, but at least its moving on somewhere! Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yay! AF is pretty much gone. And I'm feeling a lot better, still coughing some but not nearly as bad. My b-day is friday, and I won't O until several days after, so I can have a little bit of fun that night Smile Well short entry for me today, not a whole lot to say

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ugh I wanna cry! :bawl: Its almost the end of my shift. I have 3 wonderful days off. And I have the beginning of a freaking migraine. The normal path for my migraines is:
1st day: little bit of pain
2nd day: more pain but still bearable
3rd day: I wanna crawl into bed no light no sound and pass out for as long as possible but I can't because it hurts too bad!!!

Not the way I want to spend my days off. I have too much to do. Wensday I have to help my father-in-law move, Thursday I have a doc appt, Friday I have to go renew my license, renew my tags, sit around and wait for the guy to come and fix my stove, and go to dinner with my family and my bf (and her) for my b-day. On top of that, DH starts his new job Thursday, so I can't hide in bed all day! On the bright side, I know I'm not pg so I can take some exedrin. I don't want a migraine!!! :cry:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Whew. What a week. Did all sorts of running on my days off. Yesterday I went to renew my license and tags. $79.50!!! Jeez, as if my car payment isn't high enough every month... it took forever at the bmv. They were really busy. It was strange because this bmv is usually pretty quick. They have 12 lines and a number system that usually works pretty well. I spent at least an hour there yesterday though, maybe 2. I saw a girl I used to go to school with on my way in. She has the same b-day as me. When we were in school she came up to me and "informed me" that it was HER b-day not mine. Seeing her on our b-day just reminded me how much I could not STAND her :twisted: We went out to Damons last night. It was verrrry good. It was nice getting to see my best friend, I haven't seen her in forever. Even when she and her bf split up after almost 2 years, we both have such different schedules that I didn't get to see her. Nothing really going on in ttc land. I did finaly buy a basal body thermoter! I can't wait to actually be able to see results from it. This is my second day of testing. I'm proud of myself for remembering 2 days in a row. Me remembering ANYTHING 2 days in a row is a feat in itself!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Uh-Oh. I think I may have O'd today. I had watery cm, which according to what I can find, is fertile. And I've had cramping. I used to always cramp when I O'd, although this cramping reminds me more of AF, my old O cramps were sharp pains. Now, first off, if I did O, I'll be happy, because it will mean that the left over effects of the bc are not stopping me from Oing. However, I'm at work today. Did not bd today or yesterday and will not get the chance until DH gets home from work tomorrow night. The last time we bd was on Friday. I know its possible for the sperm to last up to 5 days, but I doubt it because I had no cm that day, and I think that would have been a necessary part. So if I did O today, I seriously doubt I have a chance of a bfp. Hopefully my temps will stay down just 1 more day, or waits until Wensday as I will not see DH at all Tuesday. Crossing my fingers!!! :upsidedown:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think I O'd. I got all excited and became convinced that I O'd. Now I'm afraid that I jumped to quick. Not that I have any reason to believe that I didn't. I have the same O-pains that I had before I got on bc. Much different than the other night (I think I had gas, sorry I know TMI). When I had these pains I immediately knew what they were. But I'm my temps don't go up... Oh well. Will wait and see. Andrew has a speech therapy appointment. They had told me that it would probably be January before he got it, but they have an appointment now. I kind of regret agreeing to the time. 10am-10:30am. I normally don't wake up until 10:30, and I'll need to be up by at least 9:00am. I know, I sound lazy, but I don't get up until 2:30am! I forgot to tell Andrew. Oops :oops: Its ok though, he'll be excited.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ugh. Things just aren't the best right now. Emotionally DH and I are fine. Our relationship is good. But for whatever reason, we just seem to be having trouble getting together to bd. I think it has a lot to do with his new work schedule. He's up early in the morning, I'm up late at night. It hurts though. For one, I miss him. For two, I hate knowing that no matter what I do know af is coming in November. We haven't bd'd since friday, and I think I O'd yesterday (tuesday). I just don't see it happening. I don't want to bring up ttc with him as the reason for wanting to bd, because its not the main reason, and I don't want him to see it that way. He doesn't really get the whole situation with the day you O and when you need to bd. I just really feel like crap right now. I never realized how much of an emotional roller coaster ttc would be. I don't want to stop ttc, I wanna be pg! But I hate setting myself up like this. I probably won't be posting on the boards for a few days, I'll be replying but not making my own posts. Everyone here is so great, I just need to take things by myself for a few days. Ugh.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Aw jeez. I'm in such a horrible mood. And I feel guilty now. I went over to one of the boards, and viewed some ultrasound pics. Before I was all excited to hear that she was posting her pics, couldn't wait to see them. When I saw the board I went oh cool she posted her pics! Then I opened the thread, saw the pics of her ADORABLE little baby, and my heart just broke. I wanna be pg! But if we keep doing things this way, its never gonna happen. I understand now the need for some people to avoid all the bfp's and pics. And I've only been doing this for a few months. I'm glad I got to see the pics, I just wasn't prepared for how I would feel when I saw them. I guess this wasn't a good night for that. And I feel bad because I really have nothing to complain about. I've only been doing this for a few months, some ladies here have been trying for years, and been though many m/c's. I'm lucky to have what I have. I'm just wallowing in self pity tonight, which I hate but can't help. I hope I can snap out of this mood soon.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, I was being pretty pathetic last night. I'm still sad but better today. Dh and I talked. I made a comment to him about how we were never going to make a baby this way. We got started talking, and in the end I ended up explaining how I had probably O'd this week, and that it is more than likely too late. So he asked me why I didn't say anything. I replied because I told you last month and you were frustrated because of how "planned" everything was. So then he said that it was never going to happen because I was trying to plan so much!!! Grrr!!!! Why didn't you tell me... then don't plan it! I just wanna get pg, and I want my chances to be the best possible. Even before I started researching ttc... I knew my normal O-date was the 14th day of my cycle, so I would have been planning everything with or without knowing everything I know now. MEN are just so frustrating some times! (Don't get me wrong, I love my DH, and normally he is a wonderful man). Thats it for now. I'm getting all teary eyed watching ER.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, ff.com confirmed my ovulation... which is great, because I was right about my O-pains and my bc appears not to be effecting me right now... but it kinda sucks because unless DH's little guys lasted 5 full days (which I know is possible but doubtful to me) AF will arrive sometime between Nov 1st and Nov 7th. Oh well. I'm not all depressed about it like I was the other night. Just anxious, impatient. Now, the reason why af can come any time from the 1st through the 7th... before I went on bc my cycle was 26 days long... like clock work. When I was on BC it was 28 days like clock work... which is to be expected... and since I've been off bc... my cycle has been doing its own thing... but the 7th would be 32 days which was my last cycle... so that is when I'm expecting AF. So now I'm shooting for an August baby!!! He/She would always either be the oldest/youngest in their class... that'd be kinda neat!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, nothing really going on w/ttc. I'm in the 2ww, although I expect nothing less than AF. I still have bronchitis. It doesn't really bother me, except I'm up ALL night coughing. ALL NIGHT. I've been sleeping on the couch because of it, which messes with my temps. When I sleep on the couch theres no way for me to take my temp when I first wake up. I disregarded my temp for Saturday, and didn't take it at all today. I don't feel too bad about it though, because its not that I forgot. Maybe I'll take the thermometer out in the living room with me tonight, and just hope that ds doesn't wake up and play with it. My dd has mastered climbing. First, she climbed the gate blocking her from going into ds room (we don't want her in there b/c his toys are much to old for her). Then, the same night, the same hour, she climbed out of her crib. OHHHH boy. No more napping during her naptime, as she may wake up with out me knowing it. With my next paycheck I'm going to get a toddler bed for her. I think she's a bit young for one still, but I'd rather her get up out of a toddler bed than fall climbing out of her crib. WHEW they grow up so fast! All these people around me are having pg scares! They don't wanna be, but they may be. I wanna be pg!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Just a quick update on me. Not much going on here. No symptoms or anything. Beggars night was last night (yes, I know, its early, its a long time and central ohio is strange Smile Andrew was a power ranger and hannah was a lady bug. I learned one thing, to watch the time!!! The poor things were so exhausted on our way back that Hannah was in her stroller and Andrew was on my back! They were so cute though. Hannah has learned something new. MEE-MEEP! Like the roadrunner cartoon? Its so funny, she does that and AFLAC. *Sigh* We watch too much tv! She dosen't watch it, but she hears it in the background. That girl can say bye! clear as day but still won't say mommy! GRRR. Well I know this was all none ttc related, so good night everyone.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Grrr... I don't like daylights savings time! Because I get off at 2am, I have to stay an extra hour, because the clocks go back to 1 instead of staying at 2. Grrrr. At least I get paid overtime for it. But what sucks is that is supposed to make up for the extra work hour during spring forward, you get paid for an hour you didn't actually work. But because I'm scheduled off at 2, not 3, I won't get that. I really wanted the extra hour of sleep!!! Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

One of the supervisors where I work came in today with his wife, older daughter, and brand new baby daughter. She was so adorable, and so small! I want one I want one I want one!!! Ok, done with my fit now, going back to work. Smile

Ooh Ooh I forgot to add. I had spotting this am. Red, around 3-4am, then brown around 10-11am (sorry if tmi). Here's whats odd: back on my pre-bc cycles, af would come on what I think would be the... 26th day of my cycle? So maybe my cycles are going back to what the used to be, which would be good, because those cycles were like clock work. I would have AF for 5 days. Exactly 3 weeks from the last day of af, my next af would come. For example: Af came on 10/07 this month, ended on 10/11, and would be due to come back 11/01. And I would O on the 14th day of my cycle, although ff friend is helping me better with that. Bring it on AF, cause I'm ready to try this month!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, the spotting is increasing, and I have some pretty bad cramps, so it looks like the :witch: is on the way. I didn't expect much this month, but it still sucks. It looks like my cycle has gone back to 26 days though, which is cool. Less time before my next chance at a BFP Smile I'm thinking about buying some tests from this website. They have test strips for like 94 cents a test, like what doctors use. And they're early tests, from 25 to 50 miu of hcg. I'm think about ordering like 10 or something. With them being early results, being cheap, and me being the impatient person I am, I'll most likely use them.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, 2 posts in 1 day for me. Just have to update. AF is pretty much here full force. I updated FF.com. CD1 it is!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have been in the "blahest" mood. After spening between 2 1/2 to 3 hours in line to vote, in heels, every issue I voted against passed, every issue I vote for failed, and the idiot has 4 more years. Normally I try to keep politics on the political boards, but I needed to mention at least something in my journal. Ah well, life goes on. AF hasn't been so bad this month. I've gotten some bad cramps, but my flow has been lighter, which is nice. And I get to go to the funnybone comedy club a nov 10. I've never been, but I can use the fun! I should O sometime next weekend. Bring on the BD! Lol.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster lately. One minute everything is wondeful, the next I'm tense and stressed out. Work, home, life... UGH! I just want to relax. And I wanna be pg!!! I can't believe how badly I want to be. I was thinking about ttc the other day and absentmindedly grabbed a stress ball! (You know its a bad sign when your work hands out free stress balls lol ) I'm in a pretty good spot in my life right now, not perfect but good, I love my DH and my family and friends, and my kids are wondeful... but these little things just keep adding up and sometimes I just feel like I'm gonna break. Well AF is gone now YAY ! Last month I O'd on CD13. Since AF Started on Nov 1, my cycle is really easy to keep track of this month. I should O on CD 13, 1 week from today. I feel so much better when I get to around to the cd 9 point (not just cause of the bd Wink But because I can actually DO something about ttc. Once cd1 comes I feel like I'm in limbo, and even after AF leaves I'm still at the point where I know I'm not pg, but I can't do anything to BE pg. So at CD 9, when bd starts, I start thinking hey, this could be the time! And then after I O, even though I drive myself crazy trying to figure out if I am PG, I could be pg, so I'm in limbo land at least. And then I can start looking for signs and the time to test etc... I want to order some tests online... they work at least 12 dpo, even 10 dpo, and they're little stips like the doc offices use, and only cost about $1 each. Well, I'm going to go check out that website again. Can't wait for my eggy to be here!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ahhh, a day off from work. Too bad I have to go back tomorrow. My sil was here today, all day, on the computer every minute she was in my house, as usual. I love my sil but her addiction to my computer really annoys me. Then my fil unloaded the dishwasher for me, which is very sweet and helpful, but he puts everything in the wrong spot and then the drawers end up a mess and I can't find anything! Grrr... then DH asked my SIL semi-ex bf if he can replace our screen door (something we will be paying him to do). First of all, I can't stand him, second of all, every time he does something for us, he starts the project, then disappears for weeks on end. Usually either we have to call and nag him every single day until he finishes it, or we do it ourselves. I don't want to pay someone who does that!!!

I received a book from State Farm/The Mayo Clinic today. It a free book about pregnancy/the first year (and a little about ttc). Since it was free, I was expecting a small magazine like book, but this book is huge! I was pleasantly suprised. Its a few inches thick, longer and wider than a magazine, and hardbacked! Its a $33 value... I read about it somewhere on pg.org... I wish I could find the post and thank them for it! My temps have been confusing me, I think I'm going to go by my cm and just bd every other day during my possible fertile time. I wanna be pg!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Oye. I have a migraine, which is just lovely. And I've spent half the past 14 hours crying or trying not to, which makes it so much worse. I was looking forward for weeks to go out w/my dh and 2 other couples. Its like pulling teeth to get dh to go anywhere with me. He thinks that going to dinner a couple of times a year is enough. This wasn't just dinner. This was actually going out. I was excited, then Dh decides last night that he doesn't want to go. He came up with an excuse about work, but then he should never have agreed to it in the first place. Then because I was so upset, he said that we would go out with his buddy and his fiance another day. For one, I don't know if it will actually happen, it will probably be just dinner, like usual, and now I'm stuck. And I really wanted to go out with one of the couples from tonight. While I'm comforable around DH's buddy, his fiance I feel strange around. She's nice and everything... but... I really wanted this to work tonight. And now I already made these plans for tonight, and I really don't want to go. I feel like a fifth wheel. And seeing 2 happy couples while I'm sitting there w/o my DH is not going to help. If dh would never have agreed to go, it would have been a whole different story. Oh, I'm just whining. But I really feel like crap right now, and I want this feeling to go away. And now, its getting ready to be my fertile time, and DH and I are arguing. Great. Lovely. Whatever.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ok, so I went to the comedy club tonight. The comics were really funny, and I had a really good time in the club. Another girl took my Dh's place, so I wasn't the only one not in a couple, that eased things, but it was still really awkward (spelling?) And I really wanted DH to be there. I really wanted to spend time with him outside of dinner or at home. But I did have a good laugh tonight, so I suppose it's all good. When I got home, Dh was still in bed, so I won't be able to see how things are with he and I until then. I am finally starting to understand my cm, I think. Its weird paying such close attention to things like that. I think its kinda a good thing though, being so in tune with my body. Well good night all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well things seem to be ok for me and DH, I talked to him at his lunch and I think we're back to normal. Unfortunately, I now have the stomach flu. DD had it the other day (I didn't know what she had until later) and she gave it to my FIL and my mom, and I caught it from one of those 3. And I think DS has it. We had planned an outing today, and I was telling DS we wouldn't be able to go b/c mommy isn't feeling well, and he told me that he hurts and pointed to his stomach. You would think my house would be miserable, but aside from me nearly being in tears because I want the aching to go away, everything seems t be ok. I hope its the 24 hour flu, cause me and DH are going to bd at the right time this cycle no matter what!!!! Oh, and by the way, "R", I really did have a good time last night. Thanks.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, it did turn out to be the 24 hour flu. Now to get Dh to bd tomorrow... you would think it wouldn't be a problem.... Smile I should O tomorrow, although if I O'd today I wouldn't even know it, because of all the pain from the flu. And my temps are shot. I had a low fever yesterday and a higher one today. It was kinda interesting... I could see myself getting worse then better with my temps. Went 97.7(1st morning temp, shoulda been 97.2) ...101.7....101.4... 99.9...97.6. I started sweating right before the 99.9 temp, whereas I had been freezing up until that point. I guess I was just amused because I've never done that before. Normally regardless of how sick I am my fever doesn't get above 100, and never "breaks" like that. I'm just glad I'm better. I've been thinking about trying the "baby asprin" theory I saw on one of the boards. You take baby aspirin everyday and it does something to help... One of the girls said that a bunch of people, including herself, got pg by trying it (she did the 1st month, not sure about the others). The only thing I'm concerned about is I was always told to take nothing but tylenol when you're pg, so would baby aspirin hurt it if I did get pg??? Or maybe its not so bad since its baby aspirin? I just want to hurry this process up!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Whew!!!! I figured I was getting ready to O, and I did get Dh to bd today (thursday I was just too sick, Friday I didn't even get to see DH except for my lunch break at work.... Anyhow I've been trying to check my cervical changes because I haven't had much luck with CM. At first I was very confused, then I finally figured it out. For some reason, I was thinking low = fertile, high = not fertile. So today I checked, and it was much higher than it had been, I really couldn't even reach it. It really upset me, I was sitting there thinking yes, I finally bd'd at the right time, and I O'd early. Great. Then I looked it up on ff.com... and I was wrong... high = fertile!!! Yay!!!! Not only that, but as I'm writing this, I think I have O pains !!! Yay again. I'm trying not get my hopes up, but maybe this month! At least there's chance Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so proud of myself. I went home last night, and I discovered I had ewcm. I was proud because I could TELL it was ewcm. I was afraid that maybe I had bd'd too early, but from what everyone on the boards is saying it was perfect. So now its time to wait and see. I'm had a dream last night, but its gonna be a long post, so I'm going to put it as a second post. I've also been thinking about a friend of mine. She's not ttc, but she's not actively preventing it either (her bf wouldn't mind having a baby, so its not going to be the end of the world if she does get pg). Anyhow, I know she doesn't want to be pg right this minute, so I'm not hoping she will be, but I also think it would be very cool to be pg at the same time as someone else I'm friends with. In the past I've known other pg people, but no one I would feel really comfortable with. So I guess a part of me DOES wish she would be. But she'd better not get there before I do!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ok, so my dream. I had a dream that my doc had to drop obstetrics from her practice due to rising insurance costs. This scares me, maybe a little more than most people. Here's why. When I was pg w/ds, they discoverd I had mildly abnormal cells. They decided to do a colposcopy just to look around, since I was pg they couldn't do much more. When they did that, they didn't see anything of significant concern, although they did see the abnormal cells. They told me that when I gave birth, the baby may wipe the cells away. On a side note, I was always getting stuck with interns rather than my own doctor. And when I gave birth, my doctor was not there. And no one would tell me one bit of what was going on the whole time I was giving birth. It was a bad experience. So after I had ds, I went back for another pap. It still came back abnormal. So they scheduled another colposcopy. While I was there, on the table, one of the most experienced doctors came in, looked at my latest results, and decided I did not need a colposcopy, and to just have me come back in a few months later for my anual. In the mean time, my insurance company changed, and this doc was no longer on my plan. So I had to switch. I started up with my current doc when it came to my annual. Once again my pap was abnormal. She scheduled me for a colposcopy, and also did a small biopsy (oh my did that hurt, soooo bad). I already liked her though. She told me everything she was going to do before she did it, and also took the time to explain all my results. My biopsy showed that it was still only mildly abnormal, so she asked me to come back for a pap every 6 months, instead of a year, to keep track of it. After my second pap, they requested I do another colposcopy. I freaked out, demanding to know why, it was way to painful and I was refusing to do it again if my results were just the same as the last one. My doc called me back as soon as she was done with her appointment she was in when I called, and explained the abnormal cells had changed to severe dysplasia, or severe a-typical cells, or something like that. I went ahead and scheduled, and then looked up the term online. If the cells progressed any further, I would be diagnosed with cancer. That scared the crap out of me. I did the colposcopy (w/cervical biopsy) and they determined I needed to have another kind of biopsy, which was more like surgery and would remove all of the cells. It hurt WAY more than the other one. I would rather go through child birth any day. And they gave me anethestics. The process went well though, my doc again explained everything to me, and afterwards, everything came back normal. I went from having paps every 3 months, to 6 months, to a normal anual. I had one scare when I was pg w/DD, but it turned out to be a fluke, all normal since then. And when dd was delivered, she literally came running to my room to be sure she would be there in time. In the room it was just me, DH, my doc, and a nurse, (the other hospital had the whole room full). She didn't do an episiotomy so I would heal easier (I only had to have 1 stitch). She told me everything that was going on with me, and then my daughter. It was wonderful. I badly want her to deliver any more children I have (this will probably be the last one). I like her, I'm comfortable with her, and she knows my medical history, so I wouldn't have to go through everything all over again. So thats my novel for today. When I woke up, I ran to my computer, went online, and looked up her practice (its associated with a hospital so they have a website). She's still listed as obstetrics and gynecology, and one of her areas of interest is still obstetrics. So I calmed down, and I'm happy now.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm 3 DPO, and I want to test. I think I'm going to order these online tests. They take 2-3 days to deliver, so I'm going to wait until I'm at 10 dpo to order. That way I can't test until I'm at least 13 dpo. Thats my form of self restraint. I figure it's way to early for symptoms, so I'm "trying" not to look for them. I should wait for AF to come. I don't have a good feeling about this month. Then again, I don't have a bad feeling either. I have no feeling! Lol. I hope I hope I HOPE

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Gahhh! I typed this huge long post and it didn't take! Ok, here the summary: I'm 4 dpo, and going crazy, I want to test badly, I've been looking for symptoms everywhere, I was going to order some cheap early detection tests online but because of the shipping I am going to wait till my next cycle, I will probably go buy a FRED around 10-13 dpo (I'd like to wait till 16 dpo but thats highly unlikely). I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and they've been weighing heavily on my mind. The only thing thats keeping me sane is having someone to talk to who's been where I've been. I keep wondering if I will ever be preggo again. I have this horrible fear that I won't. DH has been super sweet. He hasn't been able to see me, and he's showing how much he misses me. Its very nice. It lets me know where things stand with us. Things were strained for awhile, but being apart and missing each other has cleared things up. Ok, believe it or not thats the short version! This better post... Smile

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