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  1. #11
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    November 16, 2003

    Well, I survived this weekend. It wasn't terribly fun, though. I worked all day Saturday, then DH called me just as I got off to tell me that I should go over to his parents. He was there with the girls and they had pizza left over for me. So I went over there and had some pizza and saw my babies. they were so happy to see me... I love that. Anyway, DH told me that his mom was going to keep the girls for the night, so we left and went home. When I got home I was so disappointed. Here's why. DH had his mom watching the girls almost ALL day so he could get the house cleaned up. Which is impossible when the girls are home. So anyway, I walked in the door and the house was still a total mess!! I was devastated! I HATE a dirty house and I thought DH would come through for me. I was so disappointed that I creid. Then DH and I had a HUGE blowout fight. I told him that I was so sick of him being so lazy and that if things didn't start changing that I was going to walk out the door and leave for good. And I never thought that I would say that, but I meant it! I am just sooooo sick of having this fight with him over and over! And every time we have it I think that things will change, and every time I am disappointed. His excuse for never doing anything is always "I am so tired, I'll do it tomorrow". But as I told him last night, I am always tired. but I work through being tired. I take care of the kids when I am tired. I clean. i take care of the pets. I cook dinner every night. If I always copped out and went to bed or laid around when I was tired, nothing would get done and the girls would be dirty, smelly and unfed.

    Anyway, I balled and was miserable. I ended up going to bed with a huge headache and woke up with puffy eyes and a bigger headache this morning. And I had to go back to work at 11:30am. Well, we made up, but I still expect some changes to take place... DH had better realize that.

    Anyway, enough complaining and griping.

    Today would be CD 11. Nothing, of course, to report on TTC since we are not really starting yet. And I am doubting more and more each day that we should be starting soon... but oh well. DH and I BD'd again this morning, but used a condom. And we will continue using them for a while... I bought another box today.

    I really, really think I just need a night out-- a night to not worry about everything, and to be able to have a few drinks and relax without worrying about not being able to get up with the girls in the middle of the night, or the next morning... *sigh*. I need a weekend off. no work, no kids, no DH. Just me and some friends. Oh wait. I have no friends. All my friends are somewhere across the country cuz I met them here at preg.org. How pitiful.

    Anyway, I had better get to bed. It's late again, and I am sure I will need to be up with the girls bright and early. Oh yeah, and it's my turn to get up first tonight. Figures.

    Nicky-- I am so, so, so sorry, that you are feeling the way you are right now. Maybe you and Earl should just spend some quality time together as a married couple. Go out on some dates that do NOT include your friends. Hang out together and talk without the TV on. Go to bed at the same time and spend some time just snuggling-- not focusing on TTCing or anything else-- just being together. It may help. I really, truly hope that you can make it through this. I know you can... you just need to be committed to the two of you and making things better. And Earl needs to be committed, too. I would talk about your feelings with him and try to get him on the same page regarding saving your marriage. You need to work everything out before you really think about TTCing again... Anyway, don't mean to preach. *HUGS*

    Dayna-- Glad you had some quality time with the man upstairs. Just take a deep breath and know that if He means for you to get pregnant, then He will make it happen. But He may have other plans for you... time and prayer will be the only way to figure that out. Hang in there!! *HUGS*
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

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    November 22, 2003

    Whoa-- it's been a while. Things have just been crazy here and I am finding that it is impossible to keep up with all the posts on my active boards...

    Anyway, last week went well. I survived yet another mommy week. So onto the interesting news--

    On the TTC front, I am on CD 17. Depending on how my cycle works, I probably O'd sometime in the last couple of days. I have had a ton of thick CM the last three days. So, as I have said before, DH are waiting until Jan to TTC. Everytime we have BD'd, we have used a condom, and DH is usually the one to mention it. So he's being careful. Well, last night, we were at his family's farm and we felt like having a little fun since we didn't have the girls with us, but we didn't have any condoms with. We decided to go ahead and BD, but to make sure we stoped the rockin' before he got to the end... I know, TMI. Well, anyway, when we got that far, DH didn't feel like pulling out and I said, go ahead, don't worry about it. So he did. Right after, the first thing he said, was "hello, baby". I laughed so hard and I will never forget that. But anyway, he also doesn't have a clue that I am right around O time... I failed to tell him that. Oops. Not that he would really understand anyway. Well, then I asked him, what if I get pregnant, now? I said, I'm ready, but not ready. And he said, well then we started 2 months earlier than we were planning to start. Which kind of shocked me. I think this is his way of telling me that he really is on board with TTCing, and that he has also been looking forward to starting in Jan. I have thought that he wasn't really paying attention to the fact that I have been planning on Jan start... and that he was just going aong with me to make me happy. Anyway, I share this cuz I thought it was kind of refreshing and enlightening for us.

    Oooh, I have to go. I will come back and write more and check in on everyone later. Miss you all!

    Melissa

  3. #13
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    Well, I am home now after my long day-- wow, 2 je in one day!!!

    I have been so nervous about the possibilty of getting pregnant this cycle that I have had butterflies in my tummy all day. I really wish that I knew for sure when I O'd, or IF I have O'd. Since I am new to this, I have no idea how to tell based upon CM, and I am not temping. so I am so unsure. If I O'd on day 14 or 15, and we BD'd on day 16, would that mean I was really fertile, or was it too late?? I am just so nervous and I am not sure why??? And of course, I won't know until a couple of weeks from now... ugh. I must not obsess about it. Yeah right.

    Anyway, I am sooo sooo soo mad that I wasn't able to make it to our MOA meeting today. I was so excited to meet Nicky!! I mean, I was excited to meet all of the other MN people, too, but I really feel like I have gotten to know Nicky well through her journal and on the various boards. Nicky, maybe you and I will have to meet sometime soon!! I hope that everyone had a good time and missed me, too!

    So thia weekend was so horrible. We had to go to DH's grandparents' farm to help get some stuff straightened out. To explain it all would take years, so let's just put it this way. MIL and FIL own the farm. tehy bought it from MIL's parents so that it would be protected and could not be taken by the state to pay for medical expenses. The grandparents are both pretty old, and grandMIL has Alzheimer's pretty bad. GrandFIL is not as bad, but is definately not all there. So MIL and FIL have control over the property, own it, and pay taxes on it. Grand MIL and grandFIL live on the farm and haev the right to until they are forced to go into a home, or they die. (Really, they SHOULD already be in some kind of assisted living... they should NOT be living alone with as "not-all-there" as they are!) So MIL and FIL have sold the right to some loggers to thin out the woods on the property a little which will help the smaller trees grow, make the land more useful, and will somehow decrease the taxes on the property. But the grandparents are trying to sell the wood that is on the land that belongs to the loggers. And grandFIL has threatened to kill the loggers if they come back and try to cut anymore trees. UGH. So that's the main problem... and we were there to help sort it out. To make a ong story short, everyone got to arguing, people heard grandFIL threatening to kill the loggers, the sherrif got called, 3 officers showed up to try to talk sense into some old people who don't have any sense, ... basically it was a bust. After a while, DH and I tried to escape by running to a nearby casino. They had a craps table and I tried it. It was really fun, but I lost $20 really fast!

    Anyway, it was after that that everything else happened that I talked about in my last je. We came home today and then I had to work later this afternoon and I got home at about 10pm. I hope tomorrow is quieter, but I have to be back to work at 9:15am. YUCK! We are waiting on this big snowstorm... we got some tonight and it got realy windy and cold-- I know it is going to be slippery and sucky on the way to work in the morning...

    Nicky-- CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad that things are looking up!!!

    Cherie-- don't worry about missing me! I knew you were here! Sorry you are having such a time with MIL... she sounds kind of annoying and ungrateful, but, well, that's how a lot of MILs are unfortunately. Hope you have fun at the weird wedding... and GL with the BDing over Thankgiving!

    Dayna-- glad you are feeling better! Sounds like you are having a relaxing week! GL for this cycle!

    Kelly-- CONGRATS ON THE O!!!!!!!! All by yourself!!!!!!!! YAY! Good luck to you, too!! I hope that you get a BFP! As for the puppy toy thing: my dog LOVES empty plastic bottles! They are his favorite toy. When he was littler, he used to push it around and chase it for hours! Now, he has gotten too big and strong and he has it chewed up and destroyed and ALL OVER THE HOUSE within minutes. But it's still cute!!!!!

    love you all... hope you are having a good weekend!
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

  4. #14
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    Monday, November 24, 2003

    Well, today was a bust. I mean, I hate Mondays anyway, but today sucked more than usual. One good thing, the girls slept through the night last night, so that was nice, but they were up at 6:15am this morning. Soooo, i get up with them but i was sooo tired. And I didn't feel good at all. My stomach felt horrible and I kapt thinking that I might throw up. Well, I didn't, but I felt like that pretty much all day until about 3pm. So I got the girls bathed and ready for the day and laid them down for their naps. But I didn't do anything suring their nap-- not even get myslef ready. So I had to do that after they woke up which is hard.

    Then I drove Belle to my grandmothers house (30 minutes from home) so she could watch her while I took Gabby in to the hospital to get her Thyroid levels checked (Gabby was born with an inactive Thyroid and is tested often to make sure her med levels are good since she grows so fast.). The hospital is near home, so I start on my way home to go to the hospital with Gabbers... another 30 minutes in the car. But DH calls while I am on the road. He is sick and needs a ride home from work. So I have to drive downtown to pick him up and drive him home. Then I get back on the road to the hospital.

    Well, I get there and realized that I didn't have the stroller with me so I need to carry my very heavy daughter into the ped office to pick up the lab slip, then across the street to the hospital. but it was like 15 degrees out, so I managed to find a tunnel between the office and the hosp. Once we are there, I can;t find a place to change Gabby-- none of the bathrooms have a changer thingie. Once I finally get her changed, we go into the lab and I have to help hold my 7 month old daughter down while they stick a needle in her arm. She is so strong that everytime we do this it takes me and 2 lab assistants to hold her down and to get the blood. UGH. I always want to cry when we have to do this to her.

    Once we are done, I bundle Gabbers back up in her snowsuit and I have to carry her back over to the office building parking ramp where I am parked. Then I decide to drop her off at home while I go pick up my other DD. I get home and DH is throwing up. I leave her there anyway and decide to make it a quick trip. So I get to my grandmothers house, go in and stay for about 20 minutes and leave. When I get home DH yells at me for taking so long! I'm about to kill him. He tells me that Gabby has been crying for over an hour (I was gone for less than an hour and a half) and he can't get her to stop. I ask him if he took the pressure bandage of her arm like I asked him to and he says no. So I do it and she stops crying immediately. MEN! Sometimes I could kill him!

    Anyway, DH spends the night being a baby as men usually are when sick and I take care of the girls all night, while making dinner for myself, doing dishes, folding clothes, etc. I am exhausted. I finally get the girls to bed at 7:30 and then DH asks me to go to the store and get him some Sprite. Yeah, like I have nothing better to do than take care of him. You know if it was me sick, I would have had to take care of the kids all night anyway, and DH wouldn't lift a finger to do anything for me! So I go to the store, deal with crabby people and get home.

    Then MIL calls to ask if I told DH's brother what happened at the farm this weekend. I said that I ran into him and his wife at work yesterday and I told them. Well, now she is all mad at me and it's all my fault that he isn't coming to Thanksgiving anymore. For god's sake, give me a break!!!!!

    Anyway, now I am chilling on the computer and MIE keeps giving me probs, so I downloaded Netscape navigator. It's great, but it will not bring me to any rooms here at Preg.org from the BB menu. So I have to type them all in manually. This sucks. I just need to go to bed, but I don't want to get in the same bed as sicko.

    I'm waiting for tomorrow... no wait, Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sorry abour the rant.

    Nothing else to report. Hope you all are doing well.

    Nicky-- sorry that you had a bad day-- wanna join me?

    Cherie-- sorry your weekend was a bust. it sounds like this has not been a good couple of days for anyone. but the wedding sounds fun, though!

    Dayna-- Is there some curse going around this weekend?? Maybe early holiday stress?? How dare your family put it all on you! If they want to go, tell them to get off it and go without you!

  5. #15
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    November 25, 2003

    Well, Dh passed it on to me. I spent most of the day in the bathroom... miserable. Now I know why DH was being such a baby-- this is no ordinary stomach flu! My stomach hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out! Thankfully, DH had decided to stay home today, so he took care of the kids for me. This evening, he went to his parents house with the girls to give me some quiet time. no matter how much I complain about him sometimes, I realize that he is such a good man.

    I was supposed to take the girls to see Santa today with my mom, but being sick and all, well, that didn't happen. My 15 yo SIL and her friend came over tonight to spend the night since they don't have school tomorrow. So the three of us will do the Santa thing and then come back to my house to decorate with Christmas decorations and put up the tree. YAY! i love this time of year!

    I am excited about the Santa thing-- I am going to dress the girls up in their Christmas dresses. I hope they fit! I bought them a little big so they would be sure to fit on Christmas.

    Today is CD 20, I think. I am not really worried about being prgnant anymore-- I had been having some queasiness and felt kind weird, which was really making me wonder. But after today, i am thinking it just had to do with the coming on of this flu. And hey, what are the chances of getting pregnant AGAIN right after I quit my BC and without trying?? I don't think they are very good. If I am, well, happy Thanksgiving to us.

    I am so excited about thursday. I LOVE thanksgiving. Not that I can think a about food right now but I will be lovin' it when I feel better. My family just makes the BEST food. All I have to say.

    Well, anyway, that's all.

    Dayna-- go ahead and take some Sudafed or something comprable. Even if you are pregnant, Sudafed is safe to take during pregnancy. I know this cuz I was haivng sinus probs the last few weeks of my pregnancy. The pain reliever in Sudafed is Tylenol, which is also safe to take. Sorry you aren't feeling well... hope it gets better.

    Nicky-- Glad things are looking up a bit. Just give it some time... you and Earl will work it all out. Woo Hoo for you! Only one week left at your job!

    Cherie-- Congrats on the O-- I really think this will be your month! GL girl!
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

  6. #16
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    November 28, 2003

    Well, hmmm, what should I start with. I guess so I don't lose count, I shoud start here. Today is CD23. I don't believe that I am pg. this month... I jsut don't have any signs and I just don't feel like I am pg. Okay, well, I don;t mind. I am looking forward to Jan. Only one more month before we TTC!

    Well, I am feeling better. But this flu was ruthless! SIL cam over to spend the night on Tuesday night and she woke up puking at 3am. By 3pm on Wednesday, Gabby was puking. Everyone was healthy and happy on Thursday for thanksgiving (thank you God!!!!!!) and then today (Friday) Belle started puking. Ugh.

    Well, between the sicknesses, I got to take the girls to see Santa on Wednesday. They were SO adorable all dressed up in their Christmas dresses!!!!!!! I love them! I will post a pic as soon as I get the pic back. I should have it on Monday. It wasn't until we were in the car on the way home that Gabby started getting sick.

    Then Thursday we spent Thanksgiving with my family and DH's family. The girls were super good. We had wonderful food at my aunt's house and the girls met their great, great grandma for the first tiem ever. It was great. We took 5 generation pics. During dinner the girls got to experience dinner since everyone was feeding them . I don't know how many times I had to tell people not to give them anymore-- they don't eat regular food yet and always choke when people give it to them! I have given the a few things, but I watch them so closely and don't let them choke... They tried turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, whipped cream, homemade ice cream, bread... and who knows what else!

    Then we went to MIL and FIL's house. The whole family was there and they got to see all their grandparents on that side... my girls have a lot of grandparents!!!!! They have:

    4 grandparents
    7 great grandparents
    2 great, great grandmothers

    Kind of nice.

    I worked today-- the hell day of retail. Suprisingly, we weren't all that busy. The night dragged on. I got home and had to balance our depressing checkbook. Then I got on here and I have to say-- I NEED TO GO TO BED! I have been up for almost 23 hours now!!!!

    Okay, so I am going.

    Dayna-- sorry this wasn't your month, Glad you are feeling okay about it. Let's go for that September baby!!!!!!!

  7. #17
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    December 5, 2003

    Wow-- it has been a long time and so much has happened over the last week. That is pretty much why I haven't been around. So I will fill you in. It's kind of depressing, kind of exciting at the same time.

    Well, we have had quite a couple of weeks when it comes to health. Everyone around here FINALLY got rid of this stupid flu-- and then we all promptly got bad colds. I an so sick of being sick and of taking care of sick kids and husbands that I wanna scream. As it is, it is almost 5am and I am up writing this. I have been up since 3am when DH started coughing and finally gave up trying to sleep about an hour ago. I am gonna have NO patience with my kids today, I am afraid. And to top that off, we went shopping last night to finish our Xmas shopping and when we got home we could hear a tire leaking... I felt around and followed the sound and we have a nail in our tire... so I am not sure how much air we will have left in the tire this morning. If we have enough, we will bundle up the kids and DH and I will each drive to the dealership to drop of the van so they can fix the tire-- and replace our brakes (like we can afford this????) and then I will have to drive DH to work and pick him up. I hate doing that, but at leasr downtown is only a few minutes from home. It just sucks having to do that and get the babies all bundled up and stuff...

    So DH and I spent much of the last week fighting. Every time I thought that we were close to making up, he would do something really stupid again. Finally on Tuesday night he ended up on hte couch. I have been miserable. I kept trying to get him to talk to me and find out what was wrong, but DH is one of those guys who never wants to talk about anything until he is afraid that something horrible is going to happen if he doesn't. Well, on Wednesday mroning he called me from work and told me that he wanted to go out somewhere that night to talk. So we took the babies to spend the night with his mom and we went out to dinner after I got off of work (at 9:30 ). He managed to tell me thay he has been really depressed and has been havig thoughts of suicide and other things. Now, I take this very seriously since my grandfather died last year, He was depressed and shot himself dead through the mouth. SO we talked things through and DH agreed to go see someone to get help. Talking about everything made him feel so much better and we are on the road to getting things back on track. We have spent much of the last 2 days/nights makig up and being much happier. And we have had some of the best nights of sex lately!!!!

    And the best thing to come out of all of this is................

    WE ARE NOW OFFICIALLY TRYING TO CONCEIVE!!! YAY! A month early! That is, if I am not already pregnant! It is now CD30 and AF is no where to be found. I just wish I knew if this was normal when I am not on BC. I just wish I had kept track of my natural cycles in the past...

    If AF is not here by tonight, I think I will test. I need to go shopping for a couple of essentials today, so I'll pick up a pregnancy test while I am out.

    We are not telling any of our family or friends that we are TTCing. All we have told them in the past is that we will probably start trying again sometime in 2004. I think that they are all expecting us to wait unitl April when the girls turn a year old. So, if we get pregnant right away it will be a suprise to everyone but us. We have BD'd the last 2 nights with no condom, but it HAS to be way too late in my cycle for that to have made a difference this time around. So, as soon as Af shows, I will be in my TTC month #1! I think this is very exciting!

    Anyway, I hope you are all doing well! I will try to get caught up on everyone's je's tonight. I have missed you and love you all!
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

  8. #18
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    WOW... 2 posts in one day...

    Okay, so today being CD30 and all I decided to take a HPT. It was a First Response test and I got a very faint second line... not really sure what that means...

    Last time I took a HPT I was almost 6 wks along and I was preggo with twins so I got a very dark line VERY quickly, so I am not sure what to think... I am thinking it may be just the indicator line getting wet and LOOKING like a positive????

    HELP! I guess I will take another tomorrow morning and see what happens...
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

  9. #19
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    December 6, 2003

    Well, I am pregnant... EDD August 12, 2004. I will go to the docs this week for an official test, but my retest this morning came out a bit darker... so, I guess I will be leaving you girls!!!!!

    I really, really hope to see you girls on the birth boards soon... you ALL deserve it SO MUCH! I love you and will pray for you that you get everything you wish for when it comes to your family...
    Melissa
    Mommy to:
    Gabriella, Isabella and Deborah


    My Blog- An Insider's View of Life in Motion

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