My Doc got back to me. She said we'll just have to "wait and see" - didn't I just say that I hated people saying that? (even if I know its the only thing that I can do....) She wants me to come in on monday, which will be cd21 for my progesterone test. Which just seems silly, if I know I haven't O'd yet...but she's the one with the medical degree...so I'll follow orders like a good soldier.
I am still having O pains and cramps that are almost constant now. (Thank You Clomid) and yesterday (TMI) I had a large glop of EWCM that was streaked with a little blood a good thing I figure...) But I'm still only seeing HIGH on my FM.
I guess its working correctly, as I haven't seen a Peak reading yet, nor have I seen a temp spike.
At least its the weekend and we will be able to BD without strain. Three days of BDing and hopefully (pray and hope) that I will O between now and monday so that we can stop the marathon BDing. (Its been fun, but come on...I'll be glad when we can just do it for 'fun' and not 'work'. IKWIM)
Baby Dust to everybody!
In case anybody is curious....another High on my monitor - this makes 14 days of "High Fertility" - My response : 'yeah, right'.
I guess a silver lining is that my temp is staying constant. Usually if I am having an anovulatory cycle, the temp chart looks like a mountain range. (Trying to stay positive here people, play along.)
I also went out and bought 'real' OPKs...why? When I hate them so much?? Its all in trying to understand my body and why I haven't O'd yet. I got a 2nd line yesterday, at about 50% darkness. Now, I know that you most likely have LH in your body throughout your cycle, but I'm hoping its a good sign - eventhough I've had darker OPKs this cycle- I am assuming that it was the CLomid giving me those lines on the cheap tests and maybe now, at cd20 with the good tests, I'll get reliable answers. A pipedream??
and I'm still hvaing those O Pains, sometimes sharp and sometimes crampy, but they are almost constant. If I sit down on a hard chair too quickly, it actually hurts! Now, I know that this is a s/e of the clomid, but to me- that sounds like cysts.
Times like this make me wish I had gone to Med school- so I could self-diagnose and have access to cool u/s equipment. But as an attorney, the saying in the legal world is " if you act as your own attorney, you have an idiot for a client" - I imagine the same can be said in the medical profession.
oh, and my last thought for the day: sex on demand is getting tiresome. Now, I am good with seducing my man to get my 'prize' during my most fertile days of the month...but this month- could somebody tell me when that is likely to be?- b/c sex on demand is just not working anymore for my DH and I am having trouble putting a lot of effort into it. and then I get annoyed....why should I HAVE to put that much effort into it??! I mean, the man is usually ready to jump me if I even LOOK at him funny......and now, he's all "I feel like a piece of meat" -----yeah, well, that how men usually make us women feel - so there! sooooo, we've taken a mini break. But we can't afford to go any longer with no BDing....the last time I O'd (which was a non-medicated cycle) I O'd on cd24 and I'm really really hoping that we will see a little eggy this time too.
Went in for the blood work today- its a lesson in futility- b/c I KNOW that I haven't O'd yet.....and tomorrow, I'll have a chipper nurse get to tell me that.
I have been using OPKs for three days now (the good kind) and I have gotten a darker 2nd line everyday. I have been really good. Taking them at the same time of day, with the same amount of non-drinking for four hours before I POAS. The problem is, I am having trouble reading the damn things! "My" line has a vertical stripe going down it that is exactly the same color as the test line. about the size of a ballpoint pen and the rest of the line is dark too, but not as dark. So what the fudge does *that* mean??! and the bigger question is: is it clomid related? I tend to think not, simply b/c the line has gotten darker and not stayed the same....but I just don't know. I am going to say that today is +OPK. But who really knows. I'll probably have to change it when I find myself *not* Oing.
A friend of mine told me she's pregnant today. I am thrilled for her. She has only been off BC for one full cycle and this was her second. But I've been "teaching" her *how* to get pregnant. using all the knowledge that I have gleaned over the years. She actualy said "is it wrong that I was thinking about YOU when DH and I were DTD?" LOL! Its because she chose the days to DTD based upon what I told her...I said that she should name the baby after me! Anyway, I am thrilled, but I'd like to get a BFP too- and I can't even seem to O!
HIGH on my FM...again (shocker)
My O pains are nowhere near as bad as they were a day ago. Don't know what that means, if anything.
My CP is actualy *doing* something now (higher, softer), so that is a good thing. (I guess)
and we actually BD'd last night. (yeah!)
but I think I may be getting an infection. and with my luck, I'll O but whatever this little irritation is will probably kill all the sperm and I'll find myself BFN. (figures)
I'm off to another visit with another friend that I haven't seen in a while. I scheduled a bunch of 'get togethers' with friends during the 2WW to help keep me occupied. It worked too, excpet for the 2WW part. But it is helping to keep me occupied during my waiting O/anovulatory cycle.
Oh man, I just put my avatar up...where did it go?? sheesh! This board change-over was tough! It confirmed my addictuon to Pregnancy.org. Give me my fix! LOL! ok, what has happened since I couldn't get on the boards?
well. The b/w came back: "anovulatory". (Duh!) and they are upping my dosage of clomid to 150mg. I am putting my fertility montor and thermometer away. and at this point, I am waiting for AF. If Af isn't here by cd40 (*gulp*) then they'll give me provera again to bring on AF and I can start a new cycle. or, I could still O on my own.....but I doubt it. ALL of my O pains are gone. but I will temp every three days or so, just to kinda keep track of that.
so- thats it. I have been working hard in my gardens and redoing some landscaping. and I have DS's 2nd birthday on saturday. In the meantime. I am going to act as Doula for my friend, Nina, who just fround out she is expecting. Her EDD is 4/24/08. That is exciting.
OMG! I have spotting and cramping today. Is this the start of AF??? I really hope so. This cycle was annov and I didn't expect to get AF on my own......and this could just be a spotty cycle, like last cycle was...but I am optomistic that it is the beginings of AF. (please let it be AF!) and then I get 200mg of clomid. When I spoke to the nurse today and asked her to call in my RX, she said it was for 200mg, to be taken days 3-7. I told her, I thought it was 150mg, and she said no, the file says 200mg.....
So, I'm not sure about that. Do they even go any higher than 200mg?? What happens if I don't O, or get my BFP on 200mg?? I guess I need o think about that.
I am still spotting. Its been three days, but it is a kinda 'dry' spotting if that makes any sense and its kinda dark. I don't know if this is AF or not. and it kinda sucks, b/c I had just resigned myself to NOT getting AF and having to wait until cd40 to get Provera and then having to wait the 10 days or so to actually GET AF. Then, when I started spotting, I was hopefull that I would get AF on my own and be able to "have a shot" at Oing in late August......an now, I just don't know if I am getting AF or just having (another) wacky spotty cycle. I am still crampy. So, I guess we'll just have to see.
I have to wait this week out anyway, before would be given Provera. So I gues there is really nothing more to do.
I start classes in one week. Its my prerequisite: 'mathematics for business'...its been a while since I've been in school. We'll see.
The spotting has kinda tapered off. but I am still pretty crampy. I even went for a run yesterday hoping to 'jostle' AF into coming. LOL! I wonder of that is medically possible (maybe I should ask Jo.... )
Anyway, I am not too hopefull that AF is coming anytime soon.
I hate my body.
In other news......I made someone mad on my clomid forum. I didn't mean to. I thought my comment was rather tame. (Background: one of the 'regular' ladies has a very limited time to get BFP due to having hysterecomy soon.....but her cousin offered to be surrogate.....then unbelieveably, she got a BFP. How excellent for her. and someone wasn't excited about her announcement. I am ALWAYS excited about BFPs.) Anyway, among my congratulations... I wrote something about how it was so great about one of those stupid 'urban legends' (that we all hate) acually coming true. You know the ones....the "she adopted and then got BFP" or "stop trying so hard and you'll get BFP", etc, etc. I HATE them. I meant it in a good way. But someone thought I was being insensitve to people who can't have babies and NEED to adopt or WANT to adopt....
Frankly, I don't see the connection. I was being congratulatory. PLUS- we had discussed earlier my offer to my SIL to be her surrogate when she decides to have a child, due to her hysterecomy in April.
Anyway, I don't like causing pain to anyone. and it bummed me out that I was the subject of one of those 'debates' that happens sometimes on forums. *sigh* I have been being kinda low profile lately......since I've got nothing to say about my own situation (other than it sucks), so I have been only responding to other peoples posts. I'm just not very good with people being mad at me- I'm a people pleaser at heart. (unless I am working: I'm a guard dog of an attorney....maybe I have a split personality...jk)
*sigh* off to another day.
I think AF is here!!!! The spotting stopped yesterday and I thought "ok, here goes- I'll need Provera" and this morning, I have more spotting, only - its wet and pink and I'd say that its flow. Woo-Hoo!!! I am causiously optomistic that it is AF and I get to start clomid again in two days. Here's hoping!......
Had a slight dilema at the start of this cycle. I had five days of spotting, one day of 'flow', followed by another day of heavy spotting. Very confusing. I came to the conclusion that the one day of 'flow' is in fact, cd1. I have based this on the assumption that due to my anovulatory cycle, I may not have built up a huge lining and the six days of spotting and one day of 'flow' is enough to take care of that.
I am now on 200mg of clomid, cd3-7. I really hope that I didn't screw anything up. and I really really hope my ovaries aren't going to be hyper stimuated.
Not much else to say. except I feel so totally fat.....I don't know if its the clomid bloat, or too much ice cream. But I've got to get my butt back in gear. I lost a bunch of weight a year ago and I wanted to lose 10 more pounds........not gain it!!