Above is my journal that started after I lost my daughter to a severe heart defect, called Ebstein anomaly. She was just 5days old. With Kassandra I had to have a c-section. Originally I was told that we'd have to wait 1yr before TTC again. But I was also told that if things look really good that we may get clearance to TTC 9m after our loss. During my 6w checkup I was put on the BC patch. It seemed OK at 1st but then I started getting nasty side effects and during a check my cervix actually looked very fertile despite being on the patch. I was having alot of pain so for a day we though I had an ectopic pregnancy or an ovarian cyst. The U/S showed nothing, so I was fine. It could have been a cyst that ruptured, this have happened to me so many times in the past.
This month my AF was very late, I was very scared since it has only been 6m since we had Kassandra. All those bad things that could happen kept playing over and over in my head. I waited 1week to test. By the time I tested I got very excited. I thought for sure I was pregnant and everything would be fine. So I tested and it was a BFN. A few days later I got AF. Despite being a tiny bit relieved I was very sad.
I posted this on my journal,
Something came over me today, I'm not sure what. But I feel its time to TTC again. I know we were told to wait, but something inside is ticking. DH and I talked about and a feel that if its time God will be with us and, everything will be fine. If its not time, he will be with us and I won't conceive till it is time. So I'm going to write my midwife and email (yes we e-mail alot) I'm going to ask her for clearance. If she says no I won't buck it, but I'm really hoping she will say its OK. I've done a ton of research and I know the earliest would be 6m, risks go down at 1yr. We will get of BCP and if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. We do not plan on tempting and charting. I really hope we have made the right decision. I'm sure god will be with us.
my later response
MY Midwife SAYS EVERY THING IS GOOD IN THAT AREA, AND I CAN GO OFF MY BCP!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have to wait until Sept or Dec. I wasn't planning on charting, but she wants me to, so I can know right away when I am preggo to come on there for an U/S. When I get preggo we need to make sure the baby didn't attach to scar tissue (chances are really low, but it can happen). She has also increased my dose of folic acid. And put me on a ton of restrictions, since we have no idea what caused the heart defect in the 1st place. Even hot showers and hot tubs are out. But I don't care as long as my baby is healthy. Since having Kassandra our chances of another heart baby increases. I'm not timing my ovulation and sex, that is one thing we are going to leave up to god.