Well here I am again. My last pregnancy didn't go well from the beginning. I will try to make this as brief as possible. I had a blighted ovum (empty sac) in my uterus, and an ectopic in my left tube. They suspected an ectopic from the very beginning - I began to have pain in the area of my ovary on the left side just days after my BFP... they monitored me very closely until it finally became visible on the u/s at my follow-up appt for the mc of the empty sac in my uterus. (Warning, possible TMI to follow - ectopic details) All was clear in my uterus, as well as my rt. ovarian tube and ovary, and I was breathing a sigh of relief that the mc was complete, but when she got to my left side, she stopped and stared and squinted and moved the probe around for what seemed like an eternity, then shuffled through my chart over and over again, looking at previous u/s pics. Finally I asked what was wrong and she showed me - a large 'circular' area in my left tube with a small sac and fetus - no heartbeat. She said she wasn't 100% positive it was a sac and fetus she was seeing, but didn't know what else it could be. It was pretty obvious to me, though. And in hindsight, I don't see how my hcg levels could have still been so high with a clear uterus. After checking my hcg levels, the doctor decided not to do surgery. They were still high, but low 'enough' that she decided my body was beginning to take care of it on its own and had me go back in for a methotrexate shot to dissolve the tissue. I had no idea that you could have an ectopic and not have to have surgery. Apparently it would reabsorb into my body At that point I was so thankful that my tube had not burst, and that I didn't have to have surgery.
I went through a lot of pain when I thought I was just mc'ing an empty sac in my uterus. At times it was quite excruciating, but it was across my entire abdomen the majority of the time, so I had just assumed it was all part of the mc. However, when I would take ibuprofen, the pain would then localize to the left side only. It also hurt immensely at times to sit down, and to stand up again, all across the bottom of my uterus. That always made me wonder. I had moments where I felt the tiniest "flutters" on the left side as well (which were probably muscle spasms). When the ectopic was finally discovered, I asked the doctor why it wouldn't have been seen before then, and she said it must have been the positioning of it that made it difficult to see on the u/s. She said there was a LOT of blood in the tube (somehow they can tell it's blood on an u/s). Fast forward to after having the methotrexate shot and I wound up in the E.R. in immense pain. They kept me overnight for observation, then sent me home. Several days later I had severe pain again and they wanted me to come to the doctor's office right away for an u/s - apparently the pain this time was from the ectopic shrinking down and reabsorbing into my body, because it was much smaller at that point.
Anyway, here I am. As O approached this cycle, I finally began to feel hopeful again, and the desire to want to be pg again has returned.
Last edited by FLSunshineMom; 11-26-2010 at 10:02 PM.
3 dpo Yesterday at 2dpo i had a LOT of cramps, starting in the afternoon. It felt like AF was about to come and very intense at times. No cramping today. Around lunchtime I felt very nauseous, which subsided once I ate. I attribute that to having a cold right now and sinus drainage.
4dpo Yesterday afternoon I had some pretty bad heartburn after lunch - wound up taking Gaviscon tablets, which did help some at least. Must have been the leftover spaghetti. Today there isn't much to report, except this evening I did start having twinges of soreness in my boobs off and on and a little bit more cramping. Oh and I did have a very slight case of heartburn again today, but it subsided without taking anything for it.
I had a nice time at the MOPS group this morning. We did a cookie swap, had some interesting discussion about our children, and made an ornament during craft time. Later at home I wanted to get started on my Christmas cards, but my DD kept me busy and then I remembered that I wanted to get a project done I had promised my DH I would do - to clean out and organize one of the bathroom cabinets (the one over the toilet)... so I got that done. Tomorrow morning, however, the cards will have to be a priority. I HAVE to get those out in the mail tomorrow.
Earlier tonight I was surprised by how difficult it was for me to be on one particular message board. There was a friend announcing her pg'cy - I was so very happy for her and posted my congrats, but then others were posting their congrats to her (also friends of mine) and all but one of them were pregnant as well. I felt that tinge of jealousy that rears its ugly head from time to time. I don't like it - I just want to feel happy for everyone and be thankful for what God has given me... yet, I still feel left out at times. I waited so long to have just one child, and now I am having to wait a long time for a second one (at least it seems long to me).
Now I feel like I'm complaining -- no, no...I don't want to do that. I have been truly blessed with the one child I have, and I know in my heart of hearts that in God's perfect timing the second one will come, if it's His will. I must trust Him in this.
Oh I forgot to say - in the evening on 3 dpo, I started having this strange throbbing type pain on the right side of my head, in the back, that came and went. It wasn't like a headache, at least not the type I usually have. That whole area of my scalp was sensitive as well - it hurt to brush my hair. I finally had to take some acetamenophin (Tyenol) for the pain, and amazingly enough it helped. Tylenol doesn't normally do much for me. Then today I had a little bit of pain, but by afternoon it was completely gone. Not sure what that was all about.
5 dpo I was amazed at how tired I was by 8:30pm yesterday. It's probably because of this cold that I've had, they tend to make you feel run down. Today I've been tired all day long and feel like the cold 'might' be moving down into my chest. I feel like crud if I get up and try to do anything.
I've had sore boobs today, I noticed it after I got out of bed and was moving around. Not gonna read anything into it, though. Same goes for my temp going higher today - it could have something to do with my cold. I may not be running a fever or even a low grade temp, but my temp could be elevated 'some' from it, I would think. I've also been having very mild cramps off and on.
I am determined not to test early this month and finally got around to putting the pee sticks I had under the bathroom sink away on the top shelf of my bedroom closet (wrapped in a plastic grocery bag and hidden under a winter hat). It's funny, when I was cleaning out the cabinet over the toilet yesterday, I automatically left this big space on the shelf, the one with the doors so I could keep it hidden, to keep my collection of hpts once I started testing. When I realized what I had done later, I was thinking, "Why did I do that? I have no plans to start that daily testing around 8 dpo, so why would I need all that space?" I rolled my eyes at how sad of an addict I truly am.
I didn't start my POAS (or in my case DAS--"Dip A Stick") addiction until after I had Hannah. Before then, the earliest I ever tested was something like one or two days before my period was due, and I think that was only once in my entire adult life. The rest of the time I only ever tested when AF was late, or the month I got my BFP with Hannah - the day AF was due. Something changed after I had Hannah and wanted more children. Not sure what, but it got worse after I started to frequent the ttc boards and birth boards and saw others getting faint lines very early on and testing every day with internet cheapies and dollar store tests (I had no clue about either of those prior to that - I had always used a First Response brand). Not only that, I also didn't realize just how faint of a line you could get on an hpt if you looked really close. Previously I would only glance at the stick at the 3-minute mark (and not a second before) and if I didn't see an obvious line right away, I'd throw it in the trash and that was that. Oh the bliss of ignorance!
So far I am doing okay, but it's only 5 dpo. I have a feeling when 8 dpo rolls around I'll be somewhat tempted, and especially when 10 and 12 dpo arrives. At least 12 dpo wouldn't be that bad of a day to test if I do wind up caving then, especially if I don't start having the pre-cursor-to-AF spotting I normally get starting at 12 dpo.
Last edited by FLSunshineMom; 12-11-2009 at 03:44 PM.
7dpo This morning my temp dipped down, but rather than immediately think of the possibility of it being an 'implantation dip' I figured - oh it's probably just that middle of the cycle dip that happens almost every cycle. Didn't think anymore of it til later in the morning, right before Sunday School class when I got a really strong wave of nausea and thought I was going to puke. It passed almost as quickly as it had come. Then later it returned, only milder, and it has continued in 'waves' like that ever since. And then there was the frequent urination. I had to go before the class, twice during, and after. We went to lunch, then to Walmart and I had to go again. Then when we go home I had to go again. It's relentless. And when I go, I don't fool around. This morning DH came into the bathroom and looked at me funny and said, "Oh I thought you had the faucet turned on."
Let's not forget the crazy, bizarre dreams I've been having the past couple of days. Still, I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm trying to stay neutral. And my boobs are still sore off and on as well. Still.... it could allll be juuuust PMS.
My daughter was quite the character today. This morning DH was telling her, "You don't need those fingers..." in response to her sucking on her two middle fingers ('her' pacifier, which we're trying to gently break her of). Then he said, "You don't see Ming Ming sucking on his fingers, do you?" (That's her duckling) She hid her head in the pillow. He said, "And you don't see Thomas the Train sucking on his fingers, do you?" She gave him a funny look. "And what about Sir Topham Hat? It would look funny if he sucked on his fingers, wouldn't it?" and to that she promptly responded loudly with, "Thhhhhhh!" (a 'farting' sound). DH busted out laughing. That's my daughter.
Then earlier this evening she got quiet, so I went to check on her. She had this huge collection of stuffed animals sitting on the bathroom floor. I had to laugh, it was so cute. Then about an hour ago she asked for another "Man cookie." I chuckled and said, "MAN cookie?" You mean a gingerbread man cookie?" She shook her head yes and repeated, "A MAN cookie!" Then a little bit ago she was pushing buttons on her toy laptop computer to play a song, dancing around to it, then pushing the button to play the song again so she could dance again (the laptop is actually one that is for a baby, but she loves it). Oh and let's not forget - earlier today DH took her in the men's restroom to change her diaper and when she saw the urinals she said, "Look! Man moons!" Hmmmm...no idea where she got 'moon' from - no telling what is going on in that little head of hers
9dpo (after midnight) - My temp went back up yesterday, and was about the same today, so hoping that was implantation on 7 dpo. My boobs have been VERY sore today, it is unmistakable. And it's no longer 'come and go' but is almost constant now. The nausea is a little worse, too. At lunchtime today I was absolutely ravenous... but then at dinnertime I hardly ate anything due to the nausea. The night of 7dpo I had this strange feeling in my lower abdomen that felt like the muscles were tighetening up really hard, to the point that it hurt, then after several seconds that subsided, and then I just felt this 'tightening' feeling there and have ever since. It comes and goes. So weird, never had that before. But I can't get my hopes up too high because today I had a pressure-type pain on the right side that feels like what I get as a pre-AF sign, though it's usually closer to AF when I get it. I also had brief pains across my lower back which is another thing I get before AF, but again it's usually closer I think.
My daughter was very stubborn about going to bed tonight, which is why I'm posting this so late. I'm too tired to go into details now. I am starting her on a new schedule tomorrow so I'll be dragging my butt out of bed at 6:00 so that I can wake her up at 6:30. I don't like getting up that early, but I think it's the only way I'm going to get her to go to bed earlier, and easier. Tonight I started putting her to bed at a little after 9:00 and she didn't go to sleep until around midnight. This.has.got.to.stop.
11 dpo The nausea has been much worse today, and my boobs have been more sore, too. But I think now it's probably just Evil PMS, because my temp went down some, plus I've had some pre-AF signs, and tonight I've started to have pre-AF cramps. So I expect AF will probably arrive right on time on Sunday. The spotting should start tomorrow or Sat.
So... no need to test.
I wasn't able to get up at 6 a.m. yesterday morning like I had planned. My DD was up in the middle of the night as well that night - thankfully my DH went to her first which allowed me to take my temp at 4:30 and calculate forward what it 'would have been' at 8 a.m. Once I start getting up earlier I'll have to make that my new temp time. Last night I was able to get her to bed easier, though it still wasn't until 11 p.m. Tonight it's another battle, though.
13 dpo Yesterday morning at 12 dpo my temp went back up some, so I tested and it was BFN. I fully expected I'd be spotting by now, but nothing yet. My temp dropped this morning, though it is still above the CL. Last time I checked late tonight and I still didn't see anything it made me go, "hmmm." I have continued to be super nauseated and my boobs have been pretty sore, too, and are starting to feel a bit more full. I'm thinking it's still just PMS, though. This may just be one of those cycles where either my LP is a little longer, or I won't get much warning before AF starts. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Hannah is still waking up at around 4 a.m. and staying awake until around 6:30 a.m. and then falling asleep again on her Dora couch. It's frustrating, but I guess it's just a phase and it will pass - then I can try to start the new schedule again.
We had a great time at the double birthday party for my niece (who's turning one in a couple of days) and my stepmom (who's bday is in a few days). The cake smashing with my niece was priceless, and there were a lot of other fun moments, too. Hannah walked up to my stepmom holding a balloon in her hand, and my stepmom showed Hannah her birthday gift, which was a teddy bear figurine (she collects teddy bears), and Hannah took it out of her hand and gave my stepmom the balloon. So I guess she thought it was a fair trade
Feeling very tired tonight... I hope Hannah sleeps through the night tonight.
CD 3 Well I started spotting the night of 13dpo and AF showed up early the next morning at 14dpo. I certainly wasn't surprised. It's funny, something "clicked" in me when AF showed this time and I don't even really know how to explain it. It's like I suddenly feel like I'm "done." Like I don't want to bother trying for another child anymore. Maybe I just need a break from it all. So far this cycle I have no desire to temp.
Hannah had been doing better with her sleep schedule, sleeping through the night again, but then yesterday things got kind of messed up again. I wasn't on top of things and so didn't put Hannah to bed until later, so she and I both slept later and so she didn't nap yesterday and went to sleep at 7:30. I was thinking 'maybe' she'd sleep through the night since she had had dinner, but no - she woke up at 11:00, just as I was going to bed. It was a long night - she didn't wind up g oing back to sleep until about 2:00 a.m., in our bed, with DH in her bed, LOL. She pushes up against him so hard that he winds up on the edge of the bed, so he gave up and went to her bed. Normally we don't allow her to sleep in bed with us, but I was hoping it would help her go back to sleep faster. If I had been thinking more clearly, I would have tried giving her something to eat instead. She didn't eat a whole lot for dinner, and at 1:00 a.m. she said she was hungry and wanted a 'mana' (banana). It wound up turning into this big ordeal because DH was the one who got up to get her banana and went to use the towel on the kitchen counter that I had flour in, saving it for the next batch of cookies. So flour went everywhere, and in his sleep-deprived state he said very loudly with his deep, booming voice, "Oh for crying out loud!" Hannah thought he was mad at her and came back into the bedroom and said, "Hugs you, mama." So then we had to explain to her that Daddy wasn't mad at her, but at himself for spilling the flour. She went on and on about it, for about an hour, I guess to reassure herself that Daddy wasn't mad at her. She is such a Daddy's girl.
Today I plan to get some cleaning done and bake some more cookies and goodies to give as gifts. I didn't get much done yesterday other than laundry, and I don't want to have to do it all tomorrow. Christmas Day will be busy - at 11:00 a.m. we are going to my brother's for Christmas "Brunch," then we have to be back home by no later than 2:00 so I can put my turkey on to cook - my first ever, by the way - in preparation for hosting Christmas dinner at 6:00 for DH's parents.
Last edited by FLSunshineMom; 12-23-2009 at 01:18 PM.