CD 11 (1:00 a.m.) ~ Well I had a nice surprise late last night. I received a PM from someone who saw one of my posts about the BD issues I've been having and told me her story, which sounded very similar, and said they came to find out that it was related to stress. I had already suspected that, and now it is confirmed. Now that I know that it is very likely due to stress, I can try things to help my DH feel less stressed and more relaxed. I started doing that this morning, and it helped!
I had a big temp rise this morning (er..uh.. yesterday morning now). Made me re-think the CM I had on Sunday as maybe being EWCM after all. I think it is very possible I could have O'd on CD 10. I had very sharp O pains on Sunday night, but at the time I dismissed it as something else (a cyst, maybe?) because I thought it was too early for O pain. Now I wonder if it might have indeed been O pain. My temp later this morning will be more telling.
CD 13 (3 dpo??) ~ FF gave me dotted CH's today. I'm not sure I believe it, though. Most of the time I have a steady climb in temps after I've O'd and that isn't the case here. It rose, stayed at the same temp the 2nd day, then went down slightly this morning. Though I admit I didn't sleep very well last night - I got up a couple of times to pee, and once I went to check on my DD, and there were other times I'd just wake up, look at the time, then go back to sleep. Overall I did get about 7.5 hrs of sleep, but it was broken up.
Anywho. I will be guarded until I see my temp rise some more. My CM has been weird. yesterday I had the kind of CM very similiar to what I get a few days before O'ing, but it also had other types of CM mixed in. It was C,W,S, and EWCM all in one. It was 'mostly' creamy/watery, though, and the color of it was yellowish, so I recorded creamy. Then today it was mostly S, then once this evening it was W, then it went right back to S. Ok, maybe I am over-analyzing here. I need to chill.
I am interested to see what my temp will look like tomorrow.
If I did O on CD 10, I think we will have a decent chance.
Last edited by FLSunshineMom; 04-08-2010 at 11:52 PM.
Forgot to say - this morning I woke up to nausea, immediately followed by extreme hunger. After breakfast the nausea subsided until after lunch, then it came back with a vengance and stuck around until late afternoon, then it subsided again. Late tonight it came back, but was more mild. I've also had a few cramps here and there today. I also had cramps on CD 11.
CD 14 (4 dpo??) ~ I woke up and had to get up to pee at 4 a.m. so I took my temp then. I calculated forward to what my temp would have been at the reg time according to the formula that's true for me (and that I've ck'd many times and been amazed at how accurate it is). However, I decided to take it again at my regular time and it was a lower temp. But when I had gotten up to pee, I also went to get some water, went back to bed, then got up again to go ck on my DD, then had trouble falling back to sleep. So the sleep from 4:30ish to 7:30 was broken up.
I actually thought FF would take away my CH's when I put in the temp taken at 4 a.m., but was surprised that it didn't. I'm still very hesitant to believe I've O'd, though, especially since I had Watery CM yesterday and again today (and more of it). We shall see. Today's OPK was still negative, and very light.
I've continued to have nausea off and on today, and this afternoon it got worse again. I just had a snack and it's a little better for now. Hopefully it won't be bothersome to me tonight at Scrapbooking so I can really enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to that. It's always nice to get away and have some uninterrupted adult conversation. Just the other day when having lunch with my dad, step mom, and DH, they were having a conversation that I wanted to listen to, but Hannah demanded my attention so much that I missed half of it. It was so frustrating. I crave that adult conversation because I don't get a whole lot of it being a SAHM with a boisterous 3-yr old who has a very colorful personality. She is a real gem and I love her to death, but I need time now and then to have those adult conversations.
And now for a little vent. The door on the CD drive of my computer is driving me bonkers. For the past 3 days, it's been opening and closing randomly. Sometimes it opens and closes constantly (and quickly, even doing a little 'dance' at times, LOL), and other times it stays either open or closed for a long time before doing it again. I'm going to have to call my brother (who's a computer tech) and ask him to come look at it. He'll probably ask me to take the computer to him, though. I can't complain - he helps me with my computer issues for free.
Last edited by FLSunshineMom; 04-09-2010 at 05:17 PM.
PS: I have taken up jogging again. I am still in the jog/walk/jog phase, but it is getting better. today I was able to jog a much further stretch before having to stop to walk, and it wasn't that hard at all! I walked for awhile, jogged a little more, walked a good while longer, then on the way back jogged that same stretch I did in the beginning (minus a short part of it) and did okay up until the end and then I was really having to push myself. Despite everything in me wanting to stop - I surprised myself and kept going.
I can't wait to weigh in on Monday morning. I have a feeling I will be happy with the result this week. I just wish I could afford to buy a good digital scale right now. I don't totally trust the one I have now.
CD 15 (5 dpo??) ~ My temp dropped this morning, and I was sure FF would take away my CH's when I put it in, but they didn't. I got a darker OPK today, and the Watery CM continues. Now here's something funny. I also tested with an hpt, just for kicks, and it looked like there was something there! It can't be true, I just don't believe it. It is very faint, and I have learned not to take super faint lines too seriously.
Tonight I tested again, the OPK was slightly darker, but still not +, and the hpt looked 'ever-so-slightly' darker as well. MAYBE. Still super duper light, though. Which I guess that would be expected at 5 dpo, if it's even possible to get a +hpt that early. I doubt it. Siiiiigh, maybe I just need to get my eyes checked. LOL. I decided just to ignore it for now. I mean, I am still having fertile CM! It's odd that I've had it a few days in a row now and no +OPK yet, but every cycle is different in some way it seems. I still haven't had really good EWCM -- what I had was mixed with Watery CM, in fact it was mostly Watery, though there was a lot of it.
I figure tomorrow's temp will be more telling. If it goes back up, then maybe I'll test again with an hpt. If not, then I'll assume I'm O'ing.
I feel like I'm on Space Mountain at Disney World. I'm in the dark, on a roller coaster ride, with no idea of what's coming up on the next turn. Oh well... at least it's an adventure of sorts. Keeps things interesting.
CD 18, now 2 dpo ~ I got a +OPK early Sun morning. With all the fertile CM I had, I decided just to assume I'm just now O'ing. My temp did go back up, but still not to what is a normal post-O temp for me. Then yesterday morning my temp jumped to a post-O level. I guess I O'd pretty quickly after my +OPK like last month. They say you can O anywhere from 8-48 hours after, so I guess mine was closer to 8 hours after.
I woke up yesterday morning with strange crampiness on the area of my ovaries, but it wasn't like O pain. It was different. It was more of a 'squeezing' type pain, but it wasn't sharp. Just 'intense.' More like a cramp. Then I cramped off and on all day, and had tender bbs.
This morning I was woken up by my daughter at 4 a.m. and was STARVING. After dealing with her it was almost 5 a.m. so I went ahead and got a slice of peanut butter toast. I had a hard time going back to sleep, but when I finally did I didn't wake back up til 9:45. Thankfully my DD slept in as well. By 11:00 I was ravenous again. You know, the type of hunger that says We.must.eat.NOW. So I got ready to fix lunch, but my DD needed a diaper change. Then she didn't want to put a diaper back on, she wanted to go potty. I knew she wouldn't go (she had a pretty wet diaper) but I let her try. She didn't and came running into the kitchen with her neked butt and started running around in circles. I just wanted to fix my lunch (scrambled eggs and turkey sausage), but no. Had to go put her diaper back on. And she fought me. By the time I ate I was wolfing it down. And was still hungry, so I got a pimento cheese sandwich. And I"m still hungry. Think I'll try eating some pickles now because I don't need any more calories (see below).
I gained 2 1/2 lbs. this past week. I honestly don't see how. I worked out 6 days out of 7, and one of those days it was 2 hours of exercise. The rest was at least an hour each day. I might think 'muscle gain' but usually you don't lose any weight or gain a little when it's muscle gain (since you also lose fat), but 2 1/2 lbs.??? I don't get it.
This week I'm going to try something different. Cutting back on carbs again. There is much controversy over the low-carb deal, but the things is, bodybuilders have been doing it for years to build muscle and lose fat. There are some who claim a low-carb diet will cause you to lose muscle. If that is the case, then why was/is it so effective for bodybuilders???
I don't like doing low-carb, I'll be honest. I love me some carbs. But if it's a choice between fat and unhealthy vs. lean and healthy, then I'll make myself get used to a low carb lifestyle. And when I say low-carb, I don't mean Atkins' style. To me that is a bit on the extreme side. I'm talking more like South Beach diet style of low carb, which is more of keeping carbs in balance and sticking to mostly good carbs. Not that I'll be following their diet exactly (it's too expensive, imo), but I'll do something similar to it.
4 dpo ~ My boobs are very 'achey' today. It brings back memories of how they felt starting at 4dpo with my last pg'cy, and they are even more sore this time. Interesting.
My hunger is less intense today, at least so far. Whew.
I've been extremely thirsty in the middle of the night for the past two nights. I get up to pee and then MUST drink water because I feel so parched. Probably has to do with all the sweating I'm doing with my workouts.
I need to make a correction to my April 13 post. I don't think I worked out for at least an hour each day last week - I think there were some days when it was less than that. I still don't understand the weight gain, though.
This morning my DH said something that made me feel better, though. He looked at me as I was getting dressed and said, "I am really starting to see a difference in the way you look. You're really starting to slim down." Maybe I'm starting to lose again this week, but I won't weigh in again for at least another couple of days. Or maybe I'm just getting more toned.
I did my first full day of the lower carb diet yesterday. It seemed to help curb my insane appetite some, and I have to wonder if it has had a residual effect into today which is why my appetite is down some so far today.
6 dpo ~ My boobs started to hurt slightly more yesterday, and earlier this morning while still in bed, they were hurting pretty badly at one point, but then it subsided. I have to wonder if it's psychological, or just simply the rise in progesterone that's normal during the 2ww. My temps have been running surprisingly low this cycle. Even if you take into consideration the time change for Spring and the fact that I changed my temp time to a half hour earlier, they're still running lower than usual. Not sure why that would be.
BD still isn't going well. We had that one time of it going a little better, but then it seemed to get even worse. Maybe I'm failing to help DH feel more relaxed, or maybe it's just stress or some other physical issue, but either way I am starting to feel myself slowly giving up hope. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that this is temporary, plus the fact that I believe that if God decides to bless us with another child, it will happen despite the obstacles.
At times I have found myself thinking, though - am I just living a pipe dream? Am I just wasting my time hoping for something that just isn't meant to be? At my age, should I just give up this dream and focus on something else and enjoy my one child? Then I am reminded of a story I heard recently of a woman who had unbelievable faith and patience. For years she was childless, yet kept believing that God would give her a child one day. No-one could sway her. Long after everyone else had given up on her having a child, she kept believing it would happen. This went on for 40 years. 40 YEARS! Then she got pregnant and had her child. Wow. That puts me to shame. It's only been 2 years for me and I'm already giving up. And I'm hoping for my SECOND child. She continued to hope for her FIRST child for that long and never gave up.
And why am I wanting to give up? Just because I'm 41? Just because it "looks" hopeless? I think a big part of it is my age - but what--do I think that the Lord couldn't provide me the strength to handle a child at a more 'mature' age? He certainly provided strength to Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. Sure, '100' years old back then wasn't like 100 years old today since they lived much longer back then, but still... it was old. It even said she was well past child-bearing age. So why am I assuming I won't have the strength?
Speaking of being 'older' - the other day I had a store clerk ask me if Hannah was my grandchild. Yeeeah. Didn't make me feel too good. That was the first time I had ever been asked that. EEK. Am I starting to show my age now? Granted, he was a young man, probably in his early to mid-20s, but still.
Oh well. I can't worry about that. It's bound to start happening. Time for some wrinkle cream.
8 dpo ~ My temp shot up today. I'm really not thinking much of it, though. I've been tricked by nice-looking charts too many times before. Besides, I didn't have that much of a chance this cycle, so why get my hopes up?
I tested this a.m. using an IC and a $ store test. The IC was neg (from what I could tell) but the $ store had 'something.' The $ storeone also had 'something' there yest, too. Not putting any stock in it, though. Not until I get a nice dark line. At this point I don't know howlong I will wait before testing again.
I've been VERY irritable today. Actually it started last night. bb's are still sore, too.
I'm typing this from the library so this will be short today. Can't wait to get my computer back. I had to leave the library earlier today and come back later and had to wait in line and then there were computer issues and nowthere's a prob w/the keyboard. Ah well, will come earlier tomorrow and use a diff computer.