CD 13 (3 dpo??) ~ FF gave me dotted CH's today. I'm not sure I believe it, though. Most of the time I have a steady climb in temps after I've O'd and that isn't the case here. It rose, stayed at the same temp the 2nd day, then went down slightly this morning. Though I admit I didn't sleep very well last night - I got up a couple of times to pee, and once I went to check on my DD, and there were other times I'd just wake up, look at the time, then go back to sleep. Overall I did get about 7.5 hrs of sleep, but it was broken up.
Anywho. I will be guarded until I see my temp rise some more. My CM has been weird. yesterday I had the kind of CM very similiar to what I get a few days before O'ing, but it also had other types of CM mixed in. It was C,W,S, and EWCM all in one. It was 'mostly' creamy/watery, though, and the color of it was yellowish, so I recorded creamy. Then today it was mostly S, then once this evening it was W, then it went right back to S. Ok, maybe I am over-analyzing here. I need to chill.
I am interested to see what my temp will look like tomorrow.
If I did O on CD 10, I think we will have a decent chance.
Forgot to say - this morning I woke up to nausea, immediately followed by extreme hunger. After breakfast the nausea subsided until after lunch, then it came back with a vengance and stuck around until late afternoon, then it subsided again. Late tonight it came back, but was more mild. I've also had a few cramps here and there today. I also had cramps on CD 11.
CD 14 (4 dpo??) ~ I woke up and had to get up to pee at 4 a.m. so I took my temp then. I calculated forward to what my temp would have been at the reg time according to the formula that's true for me (and that I've ck'd many times and been amazed at how accurate it is). However, I decided to take it again at my regular time and it was a lower temp. But when I had gotten up to pee, I also went to get some water, went back to bed, then got up again to go ck on my DD, then had trouble falling back to sleep. So the sleep from 4:30ish to 7:30 was broken up.
I actually thought FF would take away my CH's when I put in the temp taken at 4 a.m., but was surprised that it didn't. I'm still very hesitant to believe I've O'd, though, especially since I had Watery CM yesterday and again today (and more of it). We shall see. Today's OPK was still negative, and very light.
I've continued to have nausea off and on today, and this afternoon it got worse again. I just had a snack and it's a little better for now. Hopefully it won't be bothersome to me tonight at Scrapbooking so I can really enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to that. It's always nice to get away and have some uninterrupted adult conversation. Just the other day when having lunch with my dad, step mom, and DH, they were having a conversation that I wanted to listen to, but Hannah demanded my attention so much that I missed half of it. It was so frustrating. I crave that adult conversation because I don't get a whole lot of it being a SAHM with a boisterous 3-yr old who has a very colorful personality. She is a real gem and I love her to death, but I need time now and then to have those adult conversations.
And now for a little vent. The door on the CD drive of my computer is driving me bonkers. For the past 3 days, it's been opening and closing randomly. Sometimes it opens and closes constantly (and quickly, even doing a little 'dance' at times, LOL), and other times it stays either open or closed for a long time before doing it again. I'm going to have to call my brother (who's a computer tech) and ask him to come look at it. He'll probably ask me to take the computer to him, though. I can't complain - he helps me with my computer issues for free.
PS: I have taken up jogging again. I am still in the jog/walk/jog phase, but it is getting better. today I was able to jog a much further stretch before having to stop to walk, and it wasn't that hard at all! I walked for awhile, jogged a little more, walked a good while longer, then on the way back jogged that same stretch I did in the beginning (minus a short part of it) and did okay up until the end and then I was really having to push myself. Despite everything in me wanting to stop - I surprised myself and kept going.
I can't wait to weigh in on Monday morning. I have a feeling I will be happy with the result this week. I just wish I could afford to buy a good digital scale right now. I don't totally trust the one I have now.
CD 15 (5 dpo??) ~ My temp dropped this morning, and I was sure FF would take away my CH's when I put it in, but they didn't. I got a darker OPK today, and the Watery CM continues. Now here's something funny. I also tested with an hpt, just for kicks, and it looked like there was something there! It can't be true, I just don't believe it. It is very faint, and I have learned not to take super faint lines too seriously.
Tonight I tested again, the OPK was slightly darker, but still not +, and the hpt looked 'ever-so-slightly' darker as well. MAYBE. Still super duper light, though. Which I guess that would be expected at 5 dpo, if it's even possible to get a +hpt that early. I doubt it. Siiiiigh, maybe I just need to get my eyes checked. LOL. I decided just to ignore it for now. I mean, I am still having fertile CM! It's odd that I've had it a few days in a row now and no +OPK yet, but every cycle is different in some way it seems. I still haven't had really good EWCM -- what I had was mixed with Watery CM, in fact it was mostly Watery, though there was a lot of it.
I figure tomorrow's temp will be more telling. If it goes back up, then maybe I'll test again with an hpt. If not, then I'll assume I'm O'ing.
I feel like I'm on Space Mountain at Disney World. I'm in the dark, on a roller coaster ride, with no idea of what's coming up on the next turn. Oh well... at least it's an adventure of sorts. Keeps things interesting.
CD 18, now 2 dpo ~ I got a +OPK early Sun morning. With all the fertile CM I had, I decided just to assume I'm just now O'ing. My temp did go back up, but still not to what is a normal post-O temp for me. Then yesterday morning my temp jumped to a post-O level. I guess I O'd pretty quickly after my +OPK like last month. They say you can O anywhere from 8-48 hours after, so I guess mine was closer to 8 hours after.
I woke up yesterday morning with strange crampiness on the area of my ovaries, but it wasn't like O pain. It was different. It was more of a 'squeezing' type pain, but it wasn't sharp. Just 'intense.' More like a cramp. Then I cramped off and on all day, and had tender bbs.
This morning I was woken up by my daughter at 4 a.m. and was STARVING. After dealing with her it was almost 5 a.m. so I went ahead and got a slice of peanut butter toast. I had a hard time going back to sleep, but when I finally did I didn't wake back up til 9:45. Thankfully my DD slept in as well. By 11:00 I was ravenous again. You know, the type of hunger that says We.must.eat.NOW. So I got ready to fix lunch, but my DD needed a diaper change. Then she didn't want to put a diaper back on, she wanted to go potty. I knew she wouldn't go (she had a pretty wet diaper) but I let her try. She didn't and came running into the kitchen with her neked butt and started running around in circles. I just wanted to fix my lunch (scrambled eggs and turkey sausage), but no. Had to go put her diaper back on. And she fought me. By the time I ate I was wolfing it down. And was still hungry, so I got a pimento cheese sandwich. And I"m still hungry. Think I'll try eating some pickles now because I don't need any more calories (see below).
I gained 2 1/2 lbs. this past week. I honestly don't see how. I worked out 6 days out of 7, and one of those days it was 2 hours of exercise. The rest was at least an hour each day. I might think 'muscle gain' but usually you don't lose any weight or gain a little when it's muscle gain (since you also lose fat), but 2 1/2 lbs.??? I don't get it.
This week I'm going to try something different. Cutting back on carbs again. There is much controversy over the low-carb deal, but the things is, bodybuilders have been doing it for years to build muscle and lose fat. There are some who claim a low-carb diet will cause you to lose muscle. If that is the case, then why was/is it so effective for bodybuilders???
I don't like doing low-carb, I'll be honest. I love me some carbs. But if it's a choice between fat and unhealthy vs. lean and healthy, then I'll make myself get used to a low carb lifestyle. And when I say low-carb, I don't mean Atkins' style. To me that is a bit on the extreme side. I'm talking more like South Beach diet style of low carb, which is more of keeping carbs in balance and sticking to mostly good carbs. Not that I'll be following their diet exactly (it's too expensive, imo), but I'll do something similar to it.
4 dpo ~ My boobs are very 'achey' today. It brings back memories of how they felt starting at 4dpo with my last pg'cy, and they are even more sore this time. Interesting.
My hunger is less intense today, at least so far. Whew.
I've been extremely thirsty in the middle of the night for the past two nights. I get up to pee and then MUST drink water because I feel so parched. Probably has to do with all the sweating I'm doing with my workouts.
I need to make a correction to my April 13 post. I don't think I worked out for at least an hour each day last week - I think there were some days when it was less than that. I still don't understand the weight gain, though.
This morning my DH said something that made me feel better, though. He looked at me as I was getting dressed and said, "I am really starting to see a difference in the way you look. You're really starting to slim down." Maybe I'm starting to lose again this week, but I won't weigh in again for at least another couple of days. Or maybe I'm just getting more toned.
I did my first full day of the lower carb diet yesterday. It seemed to help curb my insane appetite some, and I have to wonder if it has had a residual effect into today which is why my appetite is down some so far today.
6 dpo ~ My boobs started to hurt slightly more yesterday, and earlier this morning while still in bed, they were hurting pretty badly at one point, but then it subsided. I have to wonder if it's psychological, or just simply the rise in progesterone that's normal during the 2ww. My temps have been running surprisingly low this cycle. Even if you take into consideration the time change for Spring and the fact that I changed my temp time to a half hour earlier, they're still running lower than usual. Not sure why that would be.
BD still isn't going well. We had that one time of it going a little better, but then it seemed to get even worse. Maybe I'm failing to help DH feel more relaxed, or maybe it's just stress or some other physical issue, but either way I am starting to feel myself slowly giving up hope. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that this is temporary, plus the fact that I believe that if God decides to bless us with another child, it will happen despite the obstacles.
At times I have found myself thinking, though - am I just living a pipe dream? Am I just wasting my time hoping for something that just isn't meant to be? At my age, should I just give up this dream and focus on something else and enjoy my one child? Then I am reminded of a story I heard recently of a woman who had unbelievable faith and patience. For years she was childless, yet kept believing that God would give her a child one day. No-one could sway her. Long after everyone else had given up on her having a child, she kept believing it would happen. This went on for 40 years. 40 YEARS! Then she got pregnant and had her child. Wow. That puts me to shame. It's only been 2 years for me and I'm already giving up. And I'm hoping for my SECOND child. She continued to hope for her FIRST child for that long and never gave up.
And why am I wanting to give up? Just because I'm 41? Just because it "looks" hopeless? I think a big part of it is my age - but what--do I think that the Lord couldn't provide me the strength to handle a child at a more 'mature' age? He certainly provided strength to Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. Sure, '100' years old back then wasn't like 100 years old today since they lived much longer back then, but still... it was old. It even said she was well past child-bearing age. So why am I assuming I won't have the strength?
Speaking of being 'older' - the other day I had a store clerk ask me if Hannah was my grandchild. :shock: Yeeeah. Didn't make me feel too good. That was the first time I had ever been asked that. EEK. Am I starting to show my age now? Granted, he was a young man, probably in his early to mid-20s, but still.
Oh well. I can't worry about that. It's bound to start happening. Time for some wrinkle cream.
8 dpo ~ My temp shot up today. I'm really not thinking much of it, though. I've been tricked by nice-looking charts too many times before. Besides, I didn't have that much of a chance this cycle, so why get my hopes up?
I tested this a.m. using an IC and a $ store test. The IC was neg (from what I could tell) but the $ store had 'something.' The $ storeone also had 'something' there yest, too. Not putting any stock in it, though. Not until I get a nice dark line. At this point I don't know howlong I will wait before testing again.
I've been VERY irritable today. Actually it started last night. bb's are still sore, too.
I'm typing this from the library so this will be short today. Can't wait to get my computer back. I had to leave the library earlier today and come back later and had to wait in line and then there were computer issues and nowthere's a prob w/the keyboard. Ah well, will come earlier tomorrow and use a diff computer.
9 dpo ~ I woke up to some pretty bad nausea this morning. I wasn't planning to test, but the nausea made me, LOL. It was BFN, of course. Exactly what I was expecting. The nausea got better after breakfast, but still continues. My temp is down some from yesterday, but still up there.
Ok - nice looking chart and nausea, can you go away now? Because I doubt you mean anything, so quit making me 'wonder.' :rolleyes:
10dpo ~ No nausea today, but my boobs have been pretty tender, which I actually didn't realize until I was holding my one-yr old niece in my lap and she was pushing on them, lol.
I tested this morning when I saw my temp had gone up higher, and it was.... well I'm not sure. There was a faint line that started to appear after something like 4-5 minutes (dollar store test). I was just about to give up on it and think nothing was there when I saw the line starting to appear. It was early so I went back to bed, then when I went back to check it again later, the line had faded significantly. It was barely there :confused: I'm pretty sure it's a negative. I just don't see how I could be pg this cycle.
I started having bad cramps late this afternoon. The kind that precede AF by only a few hours. Not sure why I'd be having cramps like this at 10 dpo. I haven't even started spotting yet. Maybe I'm just starting to cramp earlier than usual this cycle before AF arrives. Though I really hope I won't be cramping like this for 4 days.
In other news, I've had some behavioral issues with my DD and decided to start spending more time with her. I forgot how exhausting that can be, LOL. But she is slowly starting to improve. I've been working with her to get her to the point where she will listen better, and she is making some progress, albeit very slow.
11 dpo ~ My boobs are much more sore today, but I'm sure it's just PMS. I got what I thought 'might' be a super faint line on a $ store test this morning (blinking my eyes at 3 a.m., no less) but when I went back to look at it later it was faded, then this afternoon I used a FRER and it was clearly a BFN. My CM is starting to look like it does a couple of days before AF shows, too, so.... no more testing for me. Now I just wait for AF to arrive, and I will have some very choice words for her. LOL.
13 dpo ~ My temp went down further yesterday, but this morning it shot up again. I didn't get too excited, though. My temp has been known to go up before on 13 dpo, only to drop the following day and AF show up. I tested anyway, just for fun. BFN of course. I didn't bother to buy any more tests while out today - no point. I started the classic pre-AF spotting anyway, as well as the pre-AF type cramps I usually get. She should be here by tomorrow morning. Onward to next month.
I have been debating in my mind whether or not I want to bother charting next month. It is starting to seem pointless to me, especially with the BD issues we've been having. It would be nice to take a month off and relax and not worry about it. But would I not worry about it? Or would I worry about it even more--have I O'd yet, have I not O'd, etc.? And what if I O'd later again? I'd be expecting AF and think she was late and get my hopes up. *Siiiigh.*
Guess there's still a little time to decide.
In other news, my DD is at the age right now (3 yrs) where she can be so sweet and precious one moment, and yet so beyond frustrating the next. It's like having a teenager inside a tiny little incapable body. If she had the physical and mental capacity to do so, she would literally take my keys, sneak out of the house, and drive our mini-van down to the mall . :rolleyes: Today while we were in the restroom at Walmart, I was being playful and leaned over and got close to her face, and she hauled off and slapped me on the cheek. Not super hard - it didn't even hurt really, but the look on her face told me everything I needed to know. Previous to that, I had been dealing with her not listening to me and getting an attitude with me on several occasions. That was the last straw. First, I got firm with her and told her that was wrong to slap mama in the face. Second, I calmly said, "Okay that's it. When we get home, you will be in time out for 10 minutes." She despises time out. For her, it's worse than any form of discipline you would possibly think of. From that moment, until she fell asleep on the way home, she was an 'angel.' Of course, that's not going to stop me from following through on my promise. She has to learn that being disrespectful has consequences.
She actually had been doing a little better behavior-wise until today. I've been spending more time with her, thinking maybe that was part of the problem, and also to work with her more closely to teach her about the importance of listening the first time, and about respecting her parents. We should not have to call her 10 times for her to come to us - she won't even turn her head if she is doing something she prefers and doesn't want to stop (and it's not because she doesn't hear us - I've tested that theory). I've even done some reading on the subject, and have gotten some good pointers of things to try.
Next on the list is an 'awards' system. This is an alternate method of discipline where you give a certain number of points or whatever you decide to use based on their age and what they seem to like (I've decided that I will try 'stickers on a chart' with my DD--it works well for potty training so it might work well for this as well). For say, 5 stickers she will earn a balloon from the dollar store (she LOVES balloons) -- for 10 stickers, she'll be allowed to pick out 2 toys from the dollar store. If she goes much beyond 10, I'll have to think of something else, probably a DVD or something (they have $5 ones at Walmart). From time to time I will also use this rewards system as a form of discipline by giving her a 'fine' and peeling off a certain number of stickers from her chart depending on the level of severity of her offense. It will be geared more towards reward than discipline, though. When we are out running errands, I'll take along a notebook to keep track of stickers earned (or sometimes deducted) and I will let her put the stickers on her chart when we return home.
We'll see how it goes.
CD 7 ~ I decided to continue temping this cycle, but every other day instead of every day. I originally thought I wouldn't bother with OPKs this month, but changed my mind and decided to do them after all. I think it would be less stressful to have that extra confirmation just in case my temps do weird things - last cycle FF thought I O'd on CD 10, and if I had started the OPKs on CD 9, I could have easily ignored it and not think I was in the 2ww, only to really enter the 2ww after CD 16. So I will start OPKs either tomorrow or CD 9.
I am much more relaxed about ttc this cycle so far, and haven't been thinking about it much at all. I'm so over being obsessed about it. I can truly say I am JLIH this cycle. Yes, I am still charting, but only for purposes of knowing when to expect AF. The last thing I would need is to think AF is late and get my hopes up when it would simply be because I O'd later.
The sticker chart has been working fairly well with my DD so far, but what really helped is when I started "upping the ante" for not listening and/or running off from me, and explaining it to her before entering any kind of public place. The consequence now is that we will leave and go home and she will be in time out when we get there. That really gets her attention, especially when we are going somewhere she really likes, such as, "McDonald Farm" (McDonald's :lol:). My DH and I also decided to "up the ante" with her on potty training in a positive way, to give her more motivation. She is fully capable of using the potty exclusively, but tends to be lazy about it. So we told her that if she goes a whole day, she gets a special surprise, and if when she goes an entire week, we will throw her a big party. She is very excited about that, and mentions it often. She did great yesterday and earned her surprise, but today she pooped in her diaper at the church nursery (despite them asking her if she needed to go). I didn't dare put her in underwear at the nursery - just couldn't do that to the workers there, but she is capable of going in the potty even when wearing a diaper. At home, she is in underwear except for naps and overnight.
In other news, I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning and had lost 4 lbs. this past week! I started the Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred workout video this week, so I'm really thinking that is making the difference, because I really haven't been trying that hard with the food this week. My weight ticker only shows a 2-lb. loss, but that's because I adjusted my beginning weight on the ticker since I found out recently that my home scale reads 2 lbs. heavier than it should (I compared it to a good digital scale in a doctor's office). The "loss" is the same on my home scale, but the actual weight is different. In other words, my home scale said I weighed 175 last week and this morning showed 171. But my actual weight should have been 173 last week and 169 today.
CD 10 ~ My temp shot up today, which might normally make one think they had O'd, but because I've been doing OPKs, and because I was up until after 1:00, for a very good reason, I might add (hint: :lovebed:), then I'm not thinking much of it. Of course, I would love for it to be true since BD timing would be perfect, but well... that's up to the Almighty.
That being said, my OPK this morning was significantly darker than the two previous ones--it went from nearly white to a nice obvious line--and since I do normally get a fade-in pattern, maybe I will at least O a little earlier this month.
CD 13 ~ Well it looks like I won't O any earlier than last month. Today I had the kind of CM that I get about 3-4 days before O. The OPKs have continued to get darker, but very gradually. Who knows, maybe I'll get a +OPK tomorrow on Mother's Day - won't O that day more than likely (unless I have a really short surge), but it would be kind of cool to get a +OPK that day I guess. Not that it would necessarily mean I'd catch the egg, being that we are still having BD issues more times than not, and with a "new" issue that has come up recently. *Siiiiigh* :bluesad: Ah well, this too shall pass.
More and more lately I've been rolling around the idea in my head of not charting anymore. I'm starting to really get to know my body and the signs of O, so if I didn't chart I bet I could guess within a couple of days when I will O. If I have another 'regular' cycle this month, I might seriously consider it. My cycle length is now averaging 29-30 days, so I could always test if AF didn't show by CD 31. Then if it was negative, I could just wait a few days and if AF still didn't show, test again.
I dunnow, though. I kind of like charting because it feeds the analytical side of me. On the other hand, the "mystery" of not knowing exactly when I O'd would be kind of fun, too. I'll have to think on it some more.
Good news - we were able to get in some successful BD this morning, and I think I O'd either yesterday or am O'ing today (pretty sure it was yesterday)! Supposedly the egg hangs out for "up to" 48 hours, so at least I have some hope now that the egg may have been caught
I'm not super hopeful, though. Gone are the days of that giddy hopefulness every month.
This morning when I woke up, my abdomen felt pretty tender, down low. I felt it during BD, too, but it wasn't too bad. It could be trapped gas or something. Strange that I haven't been gassy today at all, though. I've been feeling a bit of 'pressure' on the right side, too, near the ovary. Maybe I just have a bigger follie this month and it's letting me know it's there. Who knows. I'm sure it's related to ovulation in some way. I also had a major twinge of nausea mid-morning, but by lunch it was gone.
2 dpo (or so I tend to think) ~ My temp went up a little more today, so I'm pretty sure O happened 2 days ago. I did an override on FF for now to put in my O day, and when I put my temp in tomorrow, I'll take off the manual override to see where FF puts my crosshairs.
No tenderness in the abdomen today, so it must have been O-related. Last night I laid down with my DD to help her get to sleep, and fell asleep myself! LOL I was impossibly tired yesterday afternoon/evening. Then when I woke up and went to my bed, I noticed that my bbs felt swollen and sore. Thought that was so strange. Today they've been a little swollen and sore, too. Guess it's related to O'ing.
In other news, I went to my family doctor today for a check-up. Seems I will live at least a little longer. Tomorrow I go to the blood suckers so they can take a sample and test for any abnormalities.
After the doctor, I took my DD to the park. We had fun, but it was hot. When I wanted to leave, it was like pulling teeth to get her to leave. Can't blame her, I guess. What kid wants to leave the park where there's a playground and lots of open space to run around?
3 dpo ~ My temp went up a lot more this morning, and when I put my temp in and took off the override, FF gave me CH's. Apparently they agreed with the day I thought I O'd
Yesterday at 2 dpo, I had a moment of doubt when I had lots of EWCM-like CM. But it wasn't stretchy enough to be true EWCM. It was clear and abundant like EWCM, but broke too easily. So I counted it as Creamy CM. After that it was gone and my CM was very scant or sticky the rest of the day, so I was breathing a sigh of relief that I had indeed O'd. I felt even better when I saw my temp this morning.
This 2ww, I'm going to list possible symptoms, since I seem to at least have a chance this cycle.
2dpo - Full and sore bbs, then last night when I did my workout, it seemed a bit more difficult than usual. I didn't seem to have quite as much stamina.
3 dpo - Nothing so far, really, except my bbs do feel a little sore now and then. Can't tell yet if they're 'fuller' or not. Oh - and I did have trouble getting up this morning and slept later than usual. CM has been dry so far.
Different subject: I started a new diet plan on Mon of this week and it has gone great so far - I've lost 4 lbs. already. I hope to lose at least 1 more lb. by Sunday.
3 dpo (evening):While taking a shower this afternoon, the shampoo that I've been using for months suddenly smelled very funny to me. Also, I started to notice this evening that my bbs were fuller again, and a little more sore. I've also been VERY tired today.
I know they say you can't have symptoms until at least implantation, but I have a theory that your body knows it's pregnant at the very moment of conception. I base that theory on what I've read about what happens to the body at the moment of conception (a tiny amount of hcg is released right away, among other chemical changes.) I've also read about and talked to many women who had pg symptoms pretty early on.
Based on averages, though, I tend to think what I'm experiencing so far is NOT related to pg symptoms (if conception even happened in the first place), but it's fun to speculate that it could be by some slim chance.
ETA: When I came back to do a new post and read this again, I realized that I'm pretty sure I've said something like this before somewhere on this thread during a previous 2ww (without actually going back to look). To those who may have been following me for awhile (if there are any such people, lol), kindly forgive my repetitiveness. :roll:
6 dpo ~ I've been trying to get on here to post the past couple of days, but either I keep forgetting or just haven't had the time. Let's see what I can remember about the past few days:
Possible Symptoms:4 dpo - Nausea hit that afternoon and continued until bedtime; sore bbs (felt more sore in the evening - really noticed it when I did my workout), funny (metallic?) taste in my mouth. Also had some of the same kind of CM that happens just prior to the spotting I get right before AF (thick, sticky, and discolored), which I found strange. Why would I have that at 4 dpo? I'm not due to start spotting for several more days. Not long after that, I had another kind of CM I always get a few days prior to AF (whitish-yellow, long, and drippy). Last month I think I got it early on in the 2ww, too, but it wasn't until around.... oh what dpo was it.... 7 or 8? Will have to go look. I think it was 3 & 4 dpo that I also had sharp, spastic, prickly type pain on the left side near where the ovary would be. It happened once or twice the evening/night of 3 dpo, and 3 or 4 times during the day on 4 dpo. It was pretty painful, but brief. What was so strange about it was how it was like a methodical type spasm, almost like it had a 'rhythm' to it. Makes me wonder if I could have O'd a 2nd time. I do have a 2nd temp shift. Hmmm.5 dpo - Nausea continued, off and on - hardly noticed it, though; bbs a bit more sore.6 dpo - Nausea off and on, less so than 5 dpo (except right after dinner), bbs more sore than 5 dpo, easily irritated, hungrier than usual (noticed that right upon waking), noticing smells more (I think?). CM has been more abundant.
In other news, my DD hit a ball with a bat the first time she tried tonight (plastic ball, plastic bat, of course :)), and for most of the times after that. We were amazed at how quickly she picked it up. She even planted her feet right and swung the bat correctly.
8 dpo ~ My temp shot up yesterday, but I didn't get excited about it because I think it's normal for your temp to 'peak' in the middle of the 2ww. Good thing I didn't get excited, because sure enough, this morning my temp was back down again.
Today I've been more nauseated, but also super hungry. What a combination. At least I don't get nauseated until after I eat. My bbs are definitely more sore today, and it's more constant, too. I've had a little bit of cramping off and on - that started yesterday. Today I also had some intense cervical cramping, but it didn't last very long. I'm still irritable, too, but it doesn't seem to be quite as bad as yesterday.
13 dpo (1:30 a.m.) ~ Well the past few days my temp has been on a roller coaster. It seems to be staying in the higher range, though. Still... I doubt it means that I'm pregnant.
My bbs stopped being sore on 9 dpo, then today they started to be tender only on the sides, and now they are starting to be sore 'all over' again. The nausea also seemed to stop for one day, but then came back, and gradually started to get worse. By this afternoon, it was in the pit of my stomach, and I almost couldn't eat dinner, but after adding some Ranch dressing to my burger, I was able to eat it. Don't ask me why. On 11 dpo I had very intense cramps all afternoon and into the night, but by morning they were gone (except for an occasional 'mild' cramp). I've been testing, and as of this morning, they have all been BFNs. I thought I saw a very faint line on 10 dpo - I took two tests, a FRER and a Dollar Store test, and I guess my eyes were playig tricks on me because I thought for sure there was a 2nd line on both of them. When I went back later to look at them, the line on both of them had disappeared into thin air.
I haven't had any spotting yet, though, and with my temp being up, I can't help but speculate that maybe my O day is off. My chart shows a +OPK on my chart for CD 16, but I never did get a really good positive that day, just a 'right before +' and a 'right after +'. And my temp on CD 19 shifted higher to what is a more 'normal' post-O temp for me, so I think it is at least possible I didn't O until CD 18. That would make me only 10 dpo today instead of 13 dpo.
Guess we will see.
CD 2 ~ Well apparently FF was right about my O day. AF showed up within the range of the two days she was due to show. It seems my LPs are now 14 days long now more often than 13 days, though. I wonder if it's because I'm O'ing a bit earlier now? Very well could be. Anywhoo, I'm just glad my cycles are more normal again.
Today while at the mall letting my DD play in the play area, it seemed like pregnant women and newborn babies were everywhere. Then I had a 'moment' where I was watching my DD interact with other children there and realizing just how big she is getting, and my eyes filled with tears. There is so little 'babyness' left in her now. I wondered to myself if she might be my last, and if I would ever get to experience the joys of being pregnant again and holding that itty bitty baby in my arms again. I had to stop thinking about it, and had a little talk with the Good Lord about it.
CD 13 ~ It's been awhile since I've posted. I just haven't really had anything to say until now I guess. I had the usual CM that I get about 3-4 days prior to O'ing about 3 days ago, so I expect to O soon. I haven't gotten a +OPK yet, but I did get one on Sunday that was fairly dark, then the OPKs got lighter again. I thought there might be a possibility I would have gotten a +OPK on Sunday morning, because I didn't test until later that afternoon and it was darker, then after that the OPKs got lighter again. I wondered if I might have missed the surge, but after thinking about it some more... nah. I'm pretty sure I'll still get a +OPK in the next day or so.
Speaking of Sunday, I got to hold my friend's newborn baby during Sunday School. Oh! It was such a special moment. I think she even smiled at me, even though they say newborns can't smile. And, of course, it was bittersweet...
CD 19 ~ Well surprise, surprise, I haven't O'd yet. Thought for sure I was gonna, but guess my body decided otherwise. I wonder if it's because I have slacked up on my diet and exercise the past couple of weeks?
Anyway, recently I had a very pivotal moment. We had yet another time of putting all our effort into BD, only to be disappointed again by no "success." It was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I wound up in tears. I decided right then that I was done. Done with charting, done with opks, done with anything related to ttc. I don't want to know when I'm O'ing anymore. If I don't know, I won't worry about it. I don't care anymore about not knowing exactly when to expect AF. My longest cycle ever "would have been" 40 days long (if I had not gotten pregnant that cycle), so I can just go by that. I'll at least have a rough idea of when to expect her. So.. bye bye charting, bye bye opks, bye bye obessessing and analyzing over the lightness or darkness of a line or the high-medium-lowness-firmness of my cervix and the eggwhiteness of my CM. :rolleyes:
It will be a big change for me. I've been charting for two years now, except for the several weeks that I was pg before the mc. You know what's funny, though? After I had been away from it all for awhile and came back, it all suddenly seemed like madness to me... the constant wondering if the OPK was dark enough yet, if the CM was Eggwhite enough yet, if that sudden temp jump meant possibly O'ing early, all the analyzing of the temps to the nth degree, the analyzing of possible faint lines on hpts, and so on and so on.... I remember thinking, "Wow, can't they just WAIT and see what happens?" Hello? MIRROR, anyone? I was surely talking to myself because I knew I had been just like that. Funny what we are willing to do when we want something so badly, isn't it?
I look forward to finding something else to occupy that space and time now previously taken up by my ttc obsession. It's a big chunk of space and time, too....dipping sticks in pee, analyzing them and re-analyzing them, taking pics from time to time and loading them on the computer, taking temps, inputting info on the computer, staring at my chart on the computer screen, analyzing symptoms... the list is endless.
Hmmm I could think of a few things I could do:
*Finish those projects around the house I've been meaning to get to
*Do some landscaping and start a flower garden (that's deer-proof, of course)
*Spend more time doing fun things with Hannah
*Write a book
*Draw, paint, read more books
*Finish some scrapbooking projects
*Meet friends more often for lunch
The list is endless...
I finally O'd on CD 22. And just when I thought my cycles had been returning to normal...
1 dpo ~ nausea after dinner to the point of wanting to puke.2 dpo ~ ditto, except it started later in the night.
3 dpo (Today) ~ A little nausea this morning.....
I'm glad I decided to finish this cycle out continuing to chart, because it's giving me some time to adjust to the idea of not charting anymore. Part of me is really looking forward to not charting, the other part of me wonders how much I will miss it, because I still look forward to putting my temp in on my chart most mornings. I also look forward to days like today when I am 3 dpo and I get to put in that 3rd temp, take of the override I had put on at 1 dpo, and let FF give me crosshairs to see if they agree with my previous assessment of when I O'd, and also see my coverline. I guess once I stop charting, I will have to come here to pg.org and stalk others' charts and analyze theirs to satisfy that analytical side of me.
Here are the projects I plan to do this upcoming week, starting on Monday:
1) Finish transferring Hannah's clothes from old dresser to new and purge any I find that she can no longer wear.
2) Finish purging/organizing my closet.
3 dpo (p.m.) ~ sore bbs off and on, from late afternoon on. Feeling even more sore tonight.
Not thinking anything of these 'symptoms' of course. Just noting them here.
4 dpo ~ Sore bbs continue, very tired today. No nausea. Increased CM from late afternoon on.
5 dpo ~ slightly crampy a couple of times; bbs more sore, to the point of hurting at times; slight dizziness off an on; sudden, strong nausea hit mid-morning, then had small bout of diarrhea - nausea went away after that until mid-afternoon when began to feel mild nausea again off and on, and a bit "shaky," too... increased CM continues. Also feeling a bit bloated, and even more tired today.
6 dpo ~ Woke up to dull, constant pain in right, lower quadrant of abdomen/side - at times pain increased briefly, and also felt it on left side some, but right now the pain is gone; Bloated; bbs feel a little fuller, haven't noticed any soreness. A little nausea after lunch. Slightly crampy. Have had brief cervical cramping, more yesterday and a little today so far. Also felt slightly shaky after lunch. p.m. - more cervical cramping, pretty intense at times; CM seemed more dry today - what little there was, was very sticky; gassy after dinner.
Yesterday morning when the sudden severe nausea hit, I had a brief moment where I had thoughts of wanting to test early again (starting this morning), but when I had the diarrhea and the nausea went away, I was able to talk myself out of it. I don't have any tests in the house right now (other than digis, which I won't use early), and I plan to keep it that way. Today I've had fleeting thoughts of testing early starting at 8 dpo... I hope I can continue to talk myself out of it and not go to the store to buy any tests. It really is better to wait until at least the day my period is due, to know if any conception "stuck." I was reading something last night that was talking about the complex process that has to happen in order for the initial mass of growing cells that will become the embryo to implant properly into the uterine wall, which is why many of them don't make it. Add to that the fact that BD didn't go well for us again this month (unless some swimmers 'leaked' out), and I've got even more reason not to test early and waste tests.
7 dpo ~ (morning) painful gas; a little bloated; some nausea; bbs sore again today and feel 'achy' and still a bit 'fuller.' Also while getting dressed, they looked like they 'may' have had more pink and blue veins and darker areola (but probably just my imagination).
I doubt today's temp is very accurate. I was up with my DD a lot during the night, and the best I could do was take it at 6 a.m. after only about one hour of sleep. That was the closest I could come to my regular temping time (7:30). What's strange, though, is that when I re-took it at 10 a.m., after about two hours of sleep, it was lower. I would have thought being later in the day it would be higher. Oh well, what does it matter, right?
I had another brief moment this morning of wanting to go buy some dollar store tests so I can start testing tomorrow at 8 dpo, but then I stopped thinking about it, and hopefully I will continue to either stay busy with other things, or talk myself out of it.
9 dpo ~ woke up to unmistakable nausea this morning. Breasts are definitely tender. Nausea was tolerable until evening, when it got worse. So bad that I couldn't cook dinner. DH went down to get Chinese. Hopefully I'll be able to eat it by the time he returns. I did get a pimento cheese sandwich to tide me over and so far it has stayed down and I actually feel slightly better. I'm sure the nausea and tender breasts are just PMS, though.
11 dpo ~ Well the nausea and tender breasts have continued, and starting last night, major bloat, too. But alas, temp drop this morning. Shoulda known better than to get my hopes up even just a little, but I can't seem to help it. Gah! Oh well. At least now I know to just expect AF for my birthday.
13 dpo ~ I'm in the final countdown now. AF should be arriving at any time. I've been spotting for 2 days now. I'm guessing it's going to be tomorrow, on my birthday. Oh well that's the way it happens sometimes.
Yesterday I was sooooo tempted to test. But I convinced myself that I could wait at least one more day. Good thing, because this morning's temp was even lower, a pretty sure sign that AF is on her way here. And with the lower temp, I didn't even think about testing this morning. I'm supposed to test tomorrow morning if still no AF since it will be my b-day, but if my temp goes even lower, I don't know if I'll bother. We shall see....
14 dpo ~ Thought I'd come post no here about AF not showing up yet, so she will. LOL. My temp dropped below the CL this morning, so there was no need to test. I guess she is just taking her sweet time.
I am starting to feel a new sense of 'freedom' at the thought of not charting anymore. It will be nice to not think about it all the time and just enjoy my life. I'm sure I will still think about it once in awhile, but at least I won't be so obsessive about it. And I'm sure I will be checking my temp every now and again when curiosity gets the better of me and I want to know whether I'm pre-O or post-O.
Oh wow. I feel so blessed today. In the past, my birthday has come and gone without a whole lot of notice from my family (maybe because of it being the summer?), including my DH. Today I got texts from both my brother and my older niece wishing me happy birthday, and then just now, a call from my SIL where she sang Happy Birthday to me, and then my brother asked to talk to me and asked if I wanted to go to the Olive Garden for lunch for my birthday! :eek: And I think my DH has something planned for tonight because my DD mentioned this morning about it being my birthday and that we were going to have cake. My DH told me we were going to his parents' house for dinner tonight, so I'm guessing something will happen there. I'm speechless. And oh-so-thankful. So what if AF is going to arrive today. I will hardly notice. Thank you, Lord. You are so awesome. *Blows kiss* :cloud9:
CD 2 ~ AF sure was slow to get started this time around. This morning when I woke up, I was still having a very, very light flow. And I still had not had that one pre-AF symptom I always get - the one bout of 'the runs.' I also had not had much crmaping at all, and on top of that I was still nauseated and my bbs felt very 'full.' Started to make me wonder if I needed to test, but I decided to wait. Then finally, the flow started to increase, and just a little while ago I finally had that bout of 'the runs,' and now the cramps are really increasing. It's almost like AF had not really started yet, and is just now starting. Weird.
I didn't seem to sleep all that well last night. I thought on and off all night long about not temping anymore, even dreamt about temping this morning. Which is strange, because most of the time I don't temp during AF anyway. Makes me wonder if maybe I had become a little TOO obsessed with the whole charting thing. If so, then it is a very good thing I am stopping.
CD ~ 7? I think I am CD 7 today, but I'd have to actually go to FF.com to look at my 'temp-free' chart to know for sure This is good, not knowing. It means it's not on my mind all the time. :boogie:
Today I finally went and had the bloodwork done at the lab that I was 'supposed' to get done about a month or so ago when I had gone to see the doctor about my episodes of feeling very lightheaded, and almost fainting every now and then, plus being insanely tired from time to time. It gets better for awhile, then gets worse again, like it has recently. About three days ago, I was so tired all day long - my butt was almost literally dragging the floor, and it's like I was in 'a fog' - really hard to describe. Then two days ago, I had a pretty good day, though by the end of the day I was completely exhausted. Then yesterday, I went to bed at around 11:30pm and didn't wake up until 10:00am :eek: (except briefly at 1:30am, and again when DH kissed me goodbye on his way out the door to work). And even with all that sleep, I STILL felt tired all day. I literally had to force myself to do the housework I needed to do. I've also had a headache more often than not lately. Something has got to be wrong.
Hopefully the bloodwork will give some answers. I'm hoping to hear from the doctor in a couple of days - by Friday maybe? If not then I will call.
Back on the ttc front, today I started thinking again that maybe I should give up on the idea of having more children. I am older now, and I don't handle lack of sleep all that well anymore, and I'm tired most of the time. Hopefully the doctor will be able to figure out why, but right now I can't imagine adding pregnancy and then an infant to already tired body. And we aren't exactly rolling in the money, either, so there's the added financial burden as well. DH was out of work for awhile, and though he has had steady income now for a couple of months, and got a raise as well, we were so far behind on some of our bills that it will take quite awhile to catch up completely.
I am also getting to the point where I just don't know if I want to go through the whole infant/toddler stage thing again at this point, ya know? I'm ready to be free of that now. I'm ready to be done with diapers, potty training, lack of quiet time, constant interrupted conversations, not being able to sit and eat a meal without interruption, the whole nine yards. Not that I don't appreciate the time I have with Hannah right now -- ohhh how I cherish her. She is such a blessing. I just don't think I want to do it again, ya know?
And yet... uggggh, every time I'm out running errands, trying to mind my own business, the mother with that adorable little bundle of joy is cued just at the precise moment to come walking right in front of me, and I find my heart yearning to do it all over again. And then I'll see a pregnant woman, and I'll want to be pregnant again, to feel that baby moving inside of me... despite everything I just said above. Ohhhh the conflicting feelings! *Moan* LOL.
As for the charting thing, so far I haven't really missed temping. I think about it from time to time, but it's also nice to not be thinking about it so much. I decided to use a tracker in my siggy now that I set up to have me O'ing on CD 22, which is normally the latest I will O... but I don't really know if that's when I'll be O'ing, since I could O anywhere from CD 15 to CD 22, so it's really just a guess. I put it there mainly so I'd at least have some idea of when to expect AF, and also for my friends here on pg.org who might want to have an idea of where I am in my cycle.
CD 12 ~ This evening we finally had some BD success. First time in a long time. It was only a little squirt, but hey I'll take that over no squirts. A squirt is worth what...10,000 wiggly guys maybe? Now if only Miss Eggie would make her appearance sometime soon. TONIGHT would be nice. Are you listening, Miss Eggie? I said you can come out and play now. There are some guys I want you to meet, and you get to choose which one you like the most. Heh heh. At any rate, maybe things are starting to improve. I hope so.
Speaking of "BD," does anyone else out there who might be reading this wish like I do that they would call it something else? I have never liked the term, "Baby Dance" because I think it sounds corny. I'm not dancing with a baby. I know, I know, you're dancing "for" a baby, but why even call it "dancing"? I guess the term became popular to use because it's what Fertilityfriend.com uses as a label on their charts, but I wish they could have thought of something different. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out what the abbreviation stood for, I just knew it had something to do with having intercourse in hopes of conceiving a baby. The only thing I could think of is that it might mean "Bed Down." Finally, one day I learned on a board somewhere here on pg.org that it meant "Baby Dance" and I remember scratching my head to figure out why in the world they would call it that. Maybe other people find it cute, but personally I just happen to think it's corny-sounding. Then again, I could never come up with a better term. I thought of "Baby-Making," but then the abbreviation for that would be BM. Yah, not good. Heehee. But why couldn't they just use IN for Intercourse? Or for that matter, why not INandOUT? I mean, who says they have to keep the abbreviation to 2 or 3 letters? Eh. I guess that wouldn't be good, either. Though it would be kinda funny. (You'll have to excuse me, I'm in a weird mood tonight. :roll:)
3? dpo ~ Wow, can't believe I haven't posted here in 8 days! Doesn't seem like it's been that long. And... ummm... what was WRONG with me when I posted the last post? That stuff I said about what abbreviation they could use in place of BD was... well... LAAAME. LOL. Guess that what happens to you when you've been ttc for so long. Yikes. :rolleyes:
Anyway, I'm "pretty sure" about being 3 dpo today based on EWCM and other factors. As for 'imagined symptoms,' I felt dizzy yesterday morning for awhile, and today I've been dizzy off and on all day. This morning I also had a dull ache in the lower right quadrant of my abdomen, and I've had slight cramps off and on all day, too.
I still vacillate between thinking I'd be perfectly happy with our one child, who will soon be potty trained and more independent, and drooling over babies I see when out in public. Today when I took Hannah to the play area at the mall, there were babies everywhere. Some of them were newly walking, waddling around like ducks with a look of sheer delight at the fact that they could now get around more quickly and reach more things they wanted to explore. Like other people's shoes, for example, and stroller wheels, and the trash can, and other people's drinks. Basically anything they aren't supposed to get into. And for some reason the little boys always seem to be so fascinated by me and will stare at me and smile from ear to ear as they crawl/walk around and then bump into something because they too busy watching me and not where they're going. Must be because I smile so brightly at them
9 dpo ~ I haven't posted much during this 2ww, because I just haven't felt like going through the whole.. "possible symptoms which only lead to AF" thing. But today, I figured I would come and post that I have had VERY tender bbs, and nausea. Those are the only two symptoms I've had this go around. My bbs have been sooo tender (along with brief pains as well), that I wonder how it could only be a PMS symptom.
July 31st can't get here fast enough.
In other news, I've decided to take up crocheting. I found a book at the library that I checked out to help me get started learning all the different stitches. Hopefully I'll pick it up quickly and be creating things in no time.
CD 2 ~ Well so much for the tender bbs meaning anything. That was the most tender they had ever been since my pg'cy with Hannah. Foiled by PMS again. Oh well. I shouldn't be surprised, I wasn't really expecting to be pg this cycle.
Except I did get surprised by something else. On 10 dpo (which I now think was actually 12 dpo), I decided to go ahead and test early since my bbs were so tender, and wanted to try out another brand of hpt--Fact Plus--because I heard that it gave earlier positives and was reliable, despite being a blue dye test (which don't have a good reputation around here). So I bought a 2-pk of Fact Plus hpts, and on 10 dpo in the afternoon, the first one was BFN. On 11 dpo, I tried the 2nd one with FMU, and was completely shocked when, within a minute, a line started to appear. :shock: I was shocked, and started to get excited. But then as it dried, the line became thin. That made me wonder. So I went and got some Answer brand tests later that day to confirm. BFN. The next morning, at 12 dpo (or what I thought was 12 dpo), I took my temp and despite it being low, I tried the 2nd Answer brand hpt - again, BFN. I was crushed, but still held out a tiny bit of hope that maybe it was just too early. Then a few hours later, I started spotting, and cramps began. Later that day, AF started, which surprised me because she wasn't due for another two days. I figured out then that I must have O'd two days earlier than I thought, on CD 15 instead of 17 which is entirely possible for me. I really hope it's not because my LP is getting shorter, but who knows. I've decided to chart again with this new cycle so I can figure out if my LP is indeed getting shorter.
Anyway, no more blue dye tests for me, no matter who says they are reliable. And no more early testing, either. I just can't go through that again. I know I've said that before, so there is no reason to believe me. I'm not even sure I believe it myself. Guess only time will tell. (And by the way, the manufacturer of Fact Plus is definitely going to hear from me.)
CD 5 ~ Well I haven't had much motivation to temp so far. I think about picking up the thermometer when I'm waking up, then say... Nah. It doesn't really matter at this point in my cycle anyway, so why bother. Maybe tomorrow?
In other news, I think I'm coming down with bronchitis. I have the same type of cough my DD has had for a couple of weeks, and the ped thought it was a sinus infection, but now I wonder if it was bronchitis instead. Either way, she's doing much better now after a round of antibiotics, though it took the full 10 days before she did seem to get better. Makes me wonder if she would have gotten better anway, even without the antibiotics. Oh well, important thing is that she's better. Hopefully mine won't be too bad. DH went off with Hannah this afternoon to go let her play at the park, then it got too hot (I talked to him on thephone) so they went up to the mall. I was sorry I couldn't go with them, but really didn't feel up to it. It's been nice to get some rest and have some down time. I won't get that tomorrow with DH going to work, so I best rest up now while I can.
CD 10 ~ Well apparently that day of rest really helped, because I felt better the next day, and this "bronchitis" has stayed very mild. I think I am starting to get over it now
Today I am feeling a little sad about something. I am starting to see ladies here on pg.org come full circle back to the ttc boards/birth boards and get pg for a second and third time. Not necessarily a second or third child, either, for some it is the fourth, fifth, or even more. I remember being so excited with them the first time they got their BFP, and now they have had their babies, have come back to the ttc/birth boards, and gotten another BFP. There are certain threads I've posted on that used to be so busy that I could barely keep up as they were all hoping for their BFPs. On one thread all but one other than me have gotten their BFPs and have "moved on," so now that same thread has one post per day, if that. I loved how chatty we all were at one point - we'd be posting to each other within seconds or minutes - and now it's more like a bulletin board where you leave notes for everyone to read later when they happen to come by oh... maybe once a day, if that. On a different thread on another board, it, too, seems to be slowing down as all but three of us have gotten their BFPs, and many have now had their babies and are thinking about ttc again (or will soon).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling "cheated" by all this. My faith and trust is in the Good Lord Who understands way more than I could ever fathom about my situation, and knows what is best for me/us. I guess I am just feeling kind of "left behind"? I've even had those who have known me a long time on pg.org give up on stalking me anymore. One friend in particular used to stalk me closely and PM me from time to time to see how I was doing, then one day when I got what I "thought" was a BFP, she PM'd to congratulate me, but it turned out to either be a chemical pg'cy or evap, and when I replied to tell her, instead of replying to say she was sorry like she had before, she didn't respond, and stopped PM'ing me after that (and I'm sure stopped stalking me as well). I just know she had to be thinking, "What is wrong with that girl? I need to stay away from her." LOL.
I've also wondered, too, if some who've known me for awhile on here might question my sincerity at times, because I will often decide to do something, only to change my mind later. For example, last month I said I wasn't going to chart anymore, and this month I started back again. I've also said many times before that I wouldn't test early anymore, only to wind up doing so. I could say I have my reasons, but still....Bleh, I can't stand that I'm like that. And it has to look so pathetic to others. Like I am wishy-washy or something. I have always been an 'indecisive' type person for as long as I can remember. It may have something to do with my upbringing and my tendency to be a perfectionist. Long story there. At any rate, it is something I need to work on.
CD 15 (1 dpo??) ~ It's funny how after my last post, I felt so much better. I guess I needed to get that off my chest. Funny how we can keep things bottled up and not even realize it.
I was surprised to get a +OPK on CD 13 this cycle. Guess I was right in suspecting that I was O'ing earlier. That's the earliest I've ever gotten a +OPK. I've also had a lot more O pains (on both sides) and cramping this time around. It went on for 3 days, with last night being the 'culmination' with some pretty uncomfortable cramping. Today it's mostly gone except for some slight o pains now and then. My temp didn't rise as much as I thought it would today, though, which is why I haven't put temporary crosshairs on my chart yet like I usually do. It could be that I'm just having more of a gradual rise this month, but I'm going to wait for a higher temp before assuming I o'd. I didn't test again with an opk yesterday, and now I wish I had, because I'm wondering if I had a longer surge. It's just that I've only gotten 2 +OPKs in a row once in all the time I've been charting, so I didn't see the point. I had run out of OPKs and didn't want to buy any more.
At any rate, despite how good the BD looks on my chart, I think we only have a "fair" chance this month. At least 'fair' is better than a next to zero chance, though, right?
Duh, I forgot there something else I wanted to put in my journal for today.
I woke up feeling awful this morning. Very flu-like, coughing my head off, scratchy throat, and my feet even felt swollen, though they don't so much now. No fever, though. I'm wondering if it has to do with allergies. Yesterday when I went to the doctor for my follow-up appointment (my regular family doctor), I told her about the cough I had had for the past few days, that I had assumed up to this point was just a mild cold. She looked at my nose and throat and said very plainly, "You have allergies." She seemed 100% sure of it, and recommended I try an allergy medicine. So my question is, can you feel THIS bad from allergies? Or am I possibly coming down with something and I just haven't started running a fever yet? I took some Zyrtec this morning and it did help with the cough. After several minutes the cough slowed down and now it is almost completely gone. I still feel like I've been run over by a Mac truck, though, lol.
I should also mention what the follow-up appt was about yesterday. I had originally gone in due to having extreme bouts of fatigue and lightheadedness. In a nutshell, the doctor ran bloodwork, which all came back normal. She saw me again, talked to me some more about my symptoms, and thought I might have depression (which can cause fatigue). I wasn't sure if I agreed that was the problem, but since there didn't seem to be any other explanation, figured I'd try the medication she was recommending, which was Wellbutitrin, an anti-depressant. However, after being on it, I had some pretty bad side effects that did not go away even after several days. The main one was drowsiness, which made me even MORE tired. Hello. The last night I was on it, I had severe pain in my feet, to the point that I had to take 800 mg of ibuprofen, and I felt really weird. So the next morning I didn't take the next dose and put a call in to the doctor. She called me back later and said it was fine to stop it, and we'd talk about it at my follow-up appt (which had already been set for yesterday). She wound up not being able to be there yesterday, so I saw the nurse practitioner, who after talking to me for awhile, said it sounded to her like I was suffering from Adrenal Fatigue. She described the symptoms and it sounded to me like she hit the nail right on the head. She told me about some natural remedies to try, and recommended a book to read on it as well. So... hopefully after trying those remedies, I will start to see an improvement. We shall see.
3 dpo (possibly 4?) ~ FF seems to think that I o'd on CD 15, 2 days after my +OPK. However, if I discard the high pre-O temp on CD 9, it moves my CHs to CD 14. I've decided to leave in the higher temp, and just go with CD15. That way I won't test too early. I'll know which day I really o'd based on when AF shows, since my LP is 13 days long almost without exception.
Friday, I felt better after feeling so bad all day on Thursday. So I'm guessing it had something to do with my allergies. Yesterday I was exhausted all day, though. Today I felt okay (except maybe a little tired) up until this afternoon, when I started to feel exhausted again. I wanted to get in a walk up at the mall, though, so I stopped by Starbucks and got a sugar-free frappaccino. Bad me. I'm supposed to be avoiding caffeine as part of my 'natural remedy' for the adrenal fatigue. I have to admit, it did help me, though. It gave me just the boost I need to drive to the mall with my DD and go for a 20-min walk with her in the stroller, then come home and cook dinner, then get some housework done. I didn't have any coffee this morning, though (which wasn't something I did on purpose, I just didn't have time before we left the house), so maybe it wasn't so bad to have the frappaccino.
Tonight I started the usual psychosomatic symptoms. My bbs started to feel a bit sore, and the nausea began later, around 10pm. My bbs also started to feel a little swollen somewhere around 10pm. It's probably just fluid retention, though. Way too early to be having any REAL symptoms.
4-5 dpo (Monday) ~ Before I did this new post today, I went over some of my older posts, just a few, and realized that I seemed to have issues with colds/coughing/sinus quite often. Of course now I realize that all that time it was probably allergies, which was recently diagnosed. I also seemed to have reported being tired quite often, which I now know is probably due to Adrenal Fatigue (assuming that diagnosis is correct). It's a relief to know that I'm not actually that sickly. LOL.
I do wonder if anyone reading my posts ever gets tired of hearing me say I'm not feeling well in some way, or am tired. But then again, this is a personal journal, so I guess that's what it's for - to record how you're feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally. Still, knowing that other people read this, I don't want to sound "too" negative. That can get old.
As for psycho-symptoms today, I've only had a tiny bit of nausea and my bbs have only been a little sore. I have been quite bloated, though.
Hannah was so cute earlier today, pretending to talk on her pretend cell phone, which was a tiny little Leggo-type block in the shape of a hand set. It was so small that it only fit on her cheek. LOL. She was talking away, like she was having a real conversation with a friend, and walking back and forth, making all the appropriate gestures of someone talking on the phone while walking around. She is somethin' else. I love it.
Oh - I wanted to say that I haven't really made much progress with learning to crochet. I've only gotten so far with it, but still have a lot to learn. I'm finding it difficult to carve out some uninterrupted time to focus on it. Maybe once I regain some energy and can get up earlier, I can work more on it then.
9-10 dpo ~ 'Symptoms' so far: Gums hurting off and on since Thursday night, sore bbs, stomach this morning was doing 'flip-flops' and hurting a bit; same thing happened a bit after lunch. I've also had insomnia every night for a few nights now. I really don't think any of those are pg-related, though, because I'm starting to get thicker and slightly darker tinged CM (darker yellow--not dark, but dark-ER), which I normally get about 3-4 days before AF. Oh, and for the past two nights I've also gotten really hungry in the middle of the night, too. But again, don't think it's pg-related.
Hannah was quite the character last night. I told her it was "time for bed" and she started following me into her bedroom. She grabbed my hand and pulled hard, smiling at me with a smile I couldn't resist, so I played along to see what she was up to and let her lead me along. She lead me into my bedroom, over to my side of the bed, then dropped my hand and 'presented' my bed to me saying, "Here ya go. Time for bed." What a mess she is.