Baby-making sex vs. wild and crazy sex
Yesterday was day 16 of my cycle and when I took the ovulation test in the morning I got a positive result, which was very surprising since the day before I got a very faint line and I thought I will be ovulating late this month. The good news was that we had just had sex earlier that morning. But I've read some posting that say that those ovulation predictors are not super accurate so getting a bright line may mean you just ovulated or you're about t ovulate or you may ovulate up to 48 hours later.
So in any case, I knew it was a good time to conceive so I decided to book a nice hotel to spent that night and have a romantic evening (with lots of action). I spent 2 hours searching through various web sites trying to get a reasonably priced hotel in the Washington DC area for that night but the cheapest I found was $260!!! There was no way we could afford to spend that for 1 night. What a bummer! I got frantic checking out any possible travel web site for last minute discounts and finally gave up and went home in a bad mood.
To make a long story short, I was in a bad mood all evening because I knew that night was a very fertile time for me and that put all the pressure of "it's now or never" but the result was that I could not get myself in a sexy mood the whole night and my husband had a problem with his allergy so he didn't feel very sexy either and finally we both just got so frustrated and I ended up falling asleep on the sofa with no action at all.
Damn it - this thing is not supposed to feel so much like work, all planning and thinking about it and stressing. But I know that if I miss the opportunity this month I'll have to wait for a whole other month and that's making me very frustrated. Knowing that you're only fertile for about 48 hours each month makes me wonder how some people conceive from a one-night stand or when the condom breaks once in 5 years. I'm starting to think there are all myths created by advocates of abstinence. I mean, come on, there are thousands of women every month doing everything they can to conceive with no success and then there's some couples who pretty much had one sexual encounter without a condom and, boom, got pregnant.
This morning I woke up a little restless and took another ovulation test and it came back positive as well (don't really know what it means to have positive results 2 days in a row) so I pretty much forced myself to get in the mood and have a quickie before we went to work. But I had no time to lift my legs or lie still afterwards because I had a meeting at work so I can only hope that it worked. God, sex is so much better and fun when you're not trying to conceive.
Everybody says that you have to stop obsessing about conceiving and just have fun and it will happen but after 9 months of trying it is just impossible. Now I know how people feel when they complain about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend and everyone tells them to just live life and not obsess and it will happen. You can't stop! It's not a switch you can turn off. Even when you tell everybody you've stopped, you still think about it.
Anyways, I'll try to keep positive and hope something happened this month. By the way, if you ever want to read a great book about trying for a baby, read "Inconceivable" by Ben Elton. I read it years ago when I wasn't even thinking about babies and I thought it was hilarious and heart-warming at the same time but now I'm planning to re-read it soon. I'm sure I'll see thing from a different perspective now.