Posted: 2003-01-23 19:29
Well, I really think I just need someplace to get it all out, so that's why I started this journal...And today I really need to get it all out!!
Today, a parent whose children used to come to our center came by to say hi. She got remarried in May and is now a SAHM. We were close when her son was in my room and so we spent some time talking today. She's pregnant! And she got pregnant her first cycle off the pill...I wasn't even going to say anything about me TTC after that, but one of my friends spoke up and says, "Oh, Alicia's trying to get PG too!" So when she asks how long I've been off the pill and I say since Oct., so just says, "Wow, that sucks." REALLY?? DOES IT??? UGH! Just tired of that.
Jessie, my best friend since we were 6, kind of ticked me off the other night too ~ I was saying how I just get so upset when AF comes every month and she says, "well, you just need to settle down ~ It'll happen when God means it to happen." Now first of all, she has 2 children- her 2 1/2 year old was conceived while she was on the pill and her 11 month old was conceived while she was BFing and using condoms, so she really has no idea what it feels like to have to TRY! And second of all, I don't like hearing the comment about how God will let it happen when it's right. That sounds horrible and I don't mean it to- Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God, I do trust that He is watching out for me. But lately, I have been having a lot of trouble w/ this notion that he'll let it happen when it's my time. Did he really think it was my 15 year old cousin's time b/c she just had a baby? Did he really think it was my 20 year old cousin's time b/c he and his girlfriend have a 15 month old and he was just charged with drunk driving with his baby in the car? I have really struggled with this a lot lately ~ How they are able to do this and I have not been successful yet. It has led to tears many a night. Just getting discouraged I guess...