ttc: quit smoking and reverse vasectomy

My name is Michelle and I am 31. DH is 31. And we have 2 boys that are 3 and 5. DH got a vasectomy in march 2004. I had agreed at the time, because the 2 boys were such a handful, I really felt like I was finished. Well, my 5 year old is starting kindergarten and my 3 year old is starting preschool, and I want a baby and so does DH. So July 17, 2006, my DH did the most wonderful thing, he had a reversal. :jumpingbeans: He was laid up for 2 days and then back to work. Dr. said to wait 1 week to have sex and then we were free ttc. I started to take Zyban on July 20 as I do not want to be smoking while i am trying to get pregnant(smoker for 14 years :shock: ) So this is day number 2 no smokes. it is actually easier than I thought, I'm sure this has to do with the Zyban. I'm also on CD3.I dont plan on temping or charting unless it comes down to it. I am just a regular 28 day gal, so we will see how it goes. I am nervous because before we never had to try, we could just look at each other and get pregnant. Now though, we are older and we are still waiting for his spermies to come back. I am trying to not let myself become too excited, but it is so hard. I cannot wait to have another life growing inside me.

well, today is cd7. i've been thinking about buying some opk's. they have them at the dollar tree for a buck. we went to the lake yesterday, it was so relaxing. only hard part was that there were people smoking which only bothered me for a few minutes. thank goodness for my zyban or i'd be a wreck :evil: well i get to start trying on friday :woohoo:

not much to report here. yesterday i bought a decent microscope from ebay. i had bought a cheap $20 toy one, but it sux. cant wait to get it, hopefully i will see some swimmers. :bluesperm: I know it sounds really weird, but i like atleast knowing if the surgery was a little successful. when i first started reading about reversals i said i wont be one of those people looking in a microscope and now look at me, i just spent a $100 for a good one! I just need piece of mind that something is going on down there. I will be devastated if this didnt work. i shouldnt get so worried though its only been 3 weeks since surgery.I just cant help thinking what if it didnt work? we go for a sperm analysis in a few weeks so that will tell us something.

today is cd11. i took an opk a couple of hours ago, i think it just confused me even more. it had half of the line darker than the other so i dnt really know what this means. i think i will test again today in a couple of hours and see what happens. i am still waiting for my microscope, i tried to look again last night, i knew i shouldnt but i couldnt help myself. an of course, what did i see, nothing, zip, nada. so discouraging, i could just cry. we spent so much money on this reversal and dont really have the money for a redo. i know it probably takes time, i guess i am just an impatient person especially when it comes to getting pregnant. i will recap later on the other opk.

well i am on cd18, nothing new has really been happening. i used opk's the whole weekend, but they really didnt tell me much, either i ovulated on cd12 or i didnt ovulate at all according to those dumb ole sticks. oh well, dont think i will use them again. got my new microscope the other day. it rocks! i havent checked for swimmers, however, i did look under it and seen dead ones. woo hoo no cigarettes for 2 weeks. and now i have started a diet, actually dh is doing it with me, so that helps. we even walked a couple of miles last night while the boys were at bible school, it was very relaxing. i hate the 2ww.

i have really been slacking on keeping this journal up to date. however, not alot happens when you are a stay at home mom. today is cd25, yesterday and today i have had some brown and pinkish spotting when wiping (sorry tmi) i hoping it is implatation bleeding. keeping my fingers crossed. i of course had to take a test which of course was a BFN. but then again it might just be too early. i hope it happens soon cuz i cant imagine doing this month after month, analyzing every little symptom. and thinking am i pg? well gotta finish supper, happy friday!

well this cycle was a bust. i guess on to cycle 2, cd1. i have never, i mean never had a 25 day cycle, my body is doing some weird things. we have our first sa on the 30th. i am so nervous, i am so afraid of what the outcome is gonna be. and right now i just dont think that i could handle any bad news right now, i have been so emotional lately. i feel like i am the only one who cares if this works or not. i dont feel like dh even cares. he has been wanting to drink alot lately and not take the greatest care of his body. and here i am, i stopped smoking, i am trying to lose weight, and trying to get more active by walking. i havent even had a drink in almost 2 months and for what? so he can ruin our chances. i really dont think our sa is gonna be good, we have a scope and all i have ever seen are dead ones or ones that are stuck and flopping around. i wish he never ever had gotten clipped and we wouldnt be here right now. sorry i am having a feel sorry for myself day.

okay i just need to vent a little about dh again. last night i was reading on which vitamins he should take according to drs who do only reversals and i told dh he should take these, he says i am not taking all those pills, are you trying to kill me? he also says he takes a multi vitamin and thats enough. the more and more i read i really wish that i would have known about icvr when we had this done, it weems like they have such excellent results. so i also brought up to dh that if we would need a redo would go to icvr and he said he would never ever get a redo. i had never heard of icvr before the reversal probably cuz we are from ohio and we already were spending 7500 and then to add money for flight and hotel. but after i seen it on a web site and i so wish i would have heard of it before oh well. our surgeon is suppose to be good, he has been doing these for over 20 years with a 96% rate, so i guess i just need to be patient, easier said than done. it is in gods hands now and if he chooses this to happen then it will. geez, i sure am turning into a whiner. i should start thinking of more positive things, sometimes it is hard to stay positive during this whole experience. oh well, done feeling sorry for myself. chin up!

WELL TODAY IS CD4. I FOUND A PILL CALLED FERTILITY BLEND THAT DH HAS AGREED TO TAKE, WHICH ALL THE THINGS HE NEEDS TO TAKE TO HOPEFULLY INCREASE SPERM. NOT MUCH TO REPORT ON. SOMETIMES ITS REALLY BORING BEING A SAHM. DONT HAVE MUCH TO DO RIGHT NOW. ITS A RAINY, CRAPPY DAY TODAY.

WELL TODAY IS CD6. DUE TO HAVING SUCH A SHORT CYCLE LAST MONTH, I AM GONNA START TESTING WITH MY OPKS ON CD8. HOPEFULLY I WILL GET A POSITIVE WITH THEM THIS MONTH. ACCORDING TO MY CALENDAR, I SHOULD BE OVULATING AROUND THE TIME THAT DH HAS TO HAVE HIS SA DONE SO NO BDING FOR 3 DAYS. WHAT A BUMMER! LAST NIGHT, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SEEN SOME SPERM UNDER THE MICROSCOPE! I JUST CANT SEE THEIR TAILS (IF THATS WHAT THEY ARE) AND THEY DONT SEEM TO BE MOVING VERY FAST. I GUESS WE WILL SEE ON WEDNESDAY.