CD 5 Well she showed bright and early on my Birthday! Lucky me! I so just wanna forget about TTC but no matter how hard I try to forget, I still know in the back of my mind when I'm ovulating. I just want my life back the way it was before the reversal. No timed BDing, no elevating the hips, no opk's, no fertility monitors, no pregnancy tests. On a positive note I got DH to take antiimflammitories one more time. Hope this works!
CD 7 Last night I was laying in bed, and the thought crossed my mind that getting pregnant isn't gonna happen. His sperm count is just too low, the only thing to do would be IVF. We simply cant afford this. It's been almost a year and a half, and I honestly believe nothing is gonna change. I now just need to accept this, but somehow this little thing called hope, always ends up shining through. I guess I am in denial. I hate it. After this month, I will no longer be actively trying to get pregnant. I'm gonna do this month cuz I already bought OPK's. This journey has been long and trying and I'm ready to quit the fight. It hurts so realizing that I will never hold a baby of ours in my arms, the baby that I so desperately want. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. My only last option would be for DH to get a redo, but I'm not sure he is on board with this and I don't know if I coould go through all of this again. Maybe it's just not meant to be.
CD 12 Waiting to O. Well, I emailed two well known reversal drs and they both said the same thing, that DH is probably scarring over. I figured as much, I guess I needed to hear it from somebody else. i've been talking to DH about getting a redo, he just says we will talk about it later. So I'm not gonna bug him about it anymore, when and if he decide he wants it done, he'll tell me. I just don't understand whats holding him back, just the other night he told me he wants another baby, Men, SIGH!
CD 19 Happy turkey day! Well, I've made 3 caramel apple cheesecakes, fruit salad, and now I have to bake a ham with cherry glaze! Todays just gonna totally blow my diet, oh well, it only happens once a year. Just to note on the ttc front, since O, I have been very dry, usually I am not. I know tmi, but I just like to keep track of these things.
CD 5 I've been a big slacker on this journal, probably because TTC is pretty much coming to an end. Wednesday we will go in for his final SA. If counts are not improved enough to do IUI, then we are done for now. DH has agreed to do another VR, he just wants to wait, until when? I have no idea, I'm just not gonna push the issue anymore. But he did say sometime in the next year.
CD 11 Well, DH had his SA yesterday. She said if nobody calls by Friday morning, I should call them to get the results. I am on pins and needles waiting for the results! Please God let there be enough for IUI. On the TTC front, I'm already having tons of EWCM so I wonder if I'm going to O early this month. I'll update with DH's numbers when I get them.
CD 13 Well, the results weren't good, actually they were worse than last time. 1 million per ml, 46 % motility. So for now we are done ttc. DH said after we get our income tax he will get a redo. I plan on using Dr. Leverett. I am heartbroken right now.
CD 15 Well, I couldn't even tell you if I have ovulated or not. I think I have based on CM. And I have to tell you how nice it is to not be obsessing. It feels wonderful. But now I am so worried about picking the right doctor to do the redo. I'm just so scared that it wont work this time. All the VR girls say that money shouldn't be a concern when going for a redo, but money does play a part in it for us. I am really leaning towards Dr. Leverett. He's a skilled surgeon, he's cheaper, he does VE's.
CD 5 Well, here I am again! I talked to a well known VR Dr yesterday, and he's gonna send us some info on DH being managed with meds. If we can get somebody to prescribe them to us. He gave DH a 30% on being able to open up the tubes if we do this. I'll try the meds before we do a redo.
CD 10 I cant believe it's been over a month since i last posted, but quite frankly i have given up o n getting pregnant. I didnt even know what CD i was on I had to count on the calendar before i started this post. I dont even mention redo to dDH anymore, i figure if he wants to he will bring it up. he has mentioned a couple of times that he still wants to have a baby, but i wont believe it until he does something about it. I am not gonna push the issue anymore.