Two Small Hearts Are With Me Always....

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Believer2008's picture
Joined: 07/13/07
Posts: 39
Two Small Hearts Are With Me Always....

I want to have something that I can share with my child when God see's it fit to bless me with a baby I can keep. See I have suffered "two" losses hence the title "Two Small Hearts With Me Always".

It actually comes from a poem my mother wrote years ago the "two small hearts in her poem where my sister and I" it reads as follows:

Trying to adjust
Even when you must
Conseal the pain
Don't damage the brain
Who's to blame
When it all turns out the same
How can you trust
when no-one cares?
All alone not quite~
"Two Small Hearts Are With Me Always"

Let me tell you a little about myself my name is Samantha and I am 36 years old, I have been married to the love of my life since April 10, 2007 and have been trying to concieve since July 07.

I have hypothyroidism along with PCOS and was lucky enogh to finally concieve in October 08 only to m/c in November 08. Then I was lucky enough to concieve again in November 08 but that too tragically ended in a m/c in December 08.

Now I am trying to find peace and understanding in a world that seems so unfair at times.

It is hard to comprehend a loss until it happens to you then you are forever changed. You mourn what you have lost, what will never be and what would've been.

I want my precious baby (when it happens) to know how much they where wanted and loved even before I ever met them. This is my chance to share my journey and hopefully help heal some of my own pain along the way of finding joy in happiness in knowing that a BFP (big fat positive) is just around the corner for me.

May God bless each and everyone of us with knowing the true joy of finding our pot of gold at each of our rainbows in the form of two lines that we pray for each minute of every day!


Believer2008's picture
Joined: 07/13/07
Posts: 39


Well today is Cycle Day 1 for me - I am actually feeling better because now I can start a new cycle and try to get my mind back to where it needs to be.

I have been having a terrible time lately - and so need to get back to where I was before my losses.

I had a 32 day cycle which is great :yahoo:considering that was the second cycle after my recent loss. YEAH for me!

So here I sit waiting once again - I wonder does the waiting ever really end? We wait for our temp to raise or ovulation then we wait to see if we are pregnant then we wait to start a new cycle. We wait to take meds, we wait for the right time to BD we are always waiting it seems~

Anyway I just wanted to share that I am on Day 1 and yet again one day closer to my BFP!

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