Ventana's TTC Journal

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187
Ventana's TTC Journal

I have decided to start journaling my TTC journey. So, I will start with a summary of myself. I am 29 years old and have been married to DH for just over 2 years. DH is an Officer in the Marine Corps :soldiers: and we are currently stationed in the Tampa Bay area. I went off BCPs in September of 2004. Like alot of us here, I thought that it would be easy to get pg and never considered that there may be problems. So when I was not successful after several months I began charting my temps. That is when I noticed that my luteal phase was really short. (9 days compared to the 12-14 that it should be.) I tried various remedys that I had read on the internet...B6, Primrose Oil, etc. Nothing helped...it stayed consistently at 9 days.

I was unable to start any medications until fall of 2005 due to a number of factors...including that my husband and I were in the middle of a TDY move and my mom got sick with cancer. I was able to have an HSG prior to the move that came back clear. MAN, did that test HURT! :shock: He told me that I "might" feel some "mild" cramping. WHATEVER!

Once we moved and I was done traveling back home for my mother, I was able to find a GYN. I was hesitant when the Womans Care center assigned me a male doctor, but I ended up really liking him. He is very kind and does not rush me out the door. He told me on my first visit..."dont worry, we'll get you pregnant." Even though he had no idea what was wrong with me, he said that. It really made me feel better about things.

My Doc first scheduled me for a progestrone test to make sure that I was ovulating. That came back positive. For the following cycle, I had to have an endometrial biopsy. I thought the HSG hurt....OMG! The Endo was SOOO much worse. The results of that test confirmed my suspicions that I did indeed have LPD. So I started my first round of clomid 50mgs (days 5-9) in October. Unfortunately, it did not work, and as of today I am back to cycle day ONE. Sad I have an appointment on Monday to get a checkup and to hopefully refill my clomid. My LP only extended by ONE day on this cycle, so I am hoping that 100mgs might improve it further.

Ventana's picture
Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

Ugh, I hate hate hate AF...and the cramps she delivers! :roll: I thought that my pd started yesterday, and I thought it was strange that I didnt have cramps. Well, I woke up very early this morning with such PAIN! Ouch! Now I am confused b/c altough i was bleeding yesterday, it was dark brown (TMI!)....today it is more like a "normal" first day. I see my doc tomorrow and will ask him what day I should consider to be cd1. I am actually excited for my appt so that I can start this clomid cycle...it is (another) opportunity for a few beginning. I am ready...bring it on! Biggrin

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

Back from the GYN....DH will be sorry to hear that it will most likely be a rough month for him! I am going to be in HORMONAL HELL! :shock: I will be doing 50mg again, but will be doing estrogen supp from cd3 to O and then Progesterone from O onward. YIKES! This should be interesting....

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

I was a bit nervous about the estrogen, as my mother was diagnosed with endometrial cancer...possibly from the estrogen she was taking during menopause. So, I didnt take it on day 3 like I was supposed to b/c my doc did not get back to me in time. The nurse called me back and said that as long as I take the progesterone at the end of the cycle to balance it out then we should be OK. I sure hope so. She also said that although the estrogen is for the cm (which is the only reason my doc stated that I take it) it supposedly also helps with the forming of the lining. With this, the clomid, and the progestrone, I had better get PG! I have a post coital test next week and my doc said that if that comes back normal and I dont get PG this month, then he may have to redo the endometrial biopsy! :? I will die if I have to go thru that again. :cry:

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

Well, cd11 today. Ovulation can not come soon enough. I will start the OPKs on Friday i think. Though last cycle I used up more than one box...I am hoping that I O a bit sooner this time. I have read that you can expect to O a day or 2 sooner on your second round. {fingers crossed}
Besides that I am painting the kitchen/nook area to keep myself occupied. I dont feel many side effects this month so far. Ive gotten a few very minor hot flashes but thats about it. Even with the estrogen I feel OK...which I am surprised about. BUT, my cycle is far from over. Wink

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

:woohoo: I got a + on my OPK this morning...at cd17, same as last month. It is time to get it on! :lovebed:

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

I am 3dpo today....feel no different really then any other time post o. HOWEVER, I was thinking today that there have been many 2ww in the past year where I had some early pg symptoms that people talk about, i.e. ewcm, fatigue, sore bbs. But AF always showed up early (short LP). Now I am thinking that I may have been pg a number of times but the eggy didnt have anywhere to implant b/c I had already started to shed the lining. :cry: My doc said this was possible but there was no way to ever really know. I just have this nagging suspicion that this is the case.

Anyway, for this cycle, I am not feeling very optimistic. Im not really sure why...maybe b/c I am so tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed. I dont want to allow myself to get excited anymore. I did have a very high temp this morning and some minor cramps but I am on progestrone and those are side effects of the hormone. I am just feeling ddown. I'lll give myself some good old babydust:
:babydustblue: :babydustpink: :babydustblue: :babydustpink:
:babydustblue: :babydustpink: :babydustblue: :babydustpink:

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

6 DPO and trying my best to be patient. Still dont really feel anything...I do feel twinges in my lower abdomen, but it could be gas. Wink I am trying to keep myself from getting even a little excited b/c I am very tired of being disappointed. I like to read posts from the ladies who have been TTCing for only a few months. I remember what it was like at that time...I was so optimistic about it and each month I thought, "This is it...I know I am pg!" Lol I wish I could still be that positive person but month after month of disappointment has made me bitter and pessamistic. I cant even imagine the day that I get my BFP...I think I will probably faint. On the other hand, reading the posts from the ladies who have been trying for 2, 5 or more years makes me depressed. I cant imagine TTC for that long. Those are some strong women if you ask me. I think that by the time it hits 3 years for me (God forbid) DH and I should begin to look into adoption. Actually, we will probably look into it prior to that...hopefully waiting for the baby in 3 years.

OT...family is begining to come in tomorrow for Thanksgiving. I am excited. I can not wait to see my parents again, even if only for a few days. The weather here is nice...a front came in today and it is windy and cool. Something I miss from up north. Maybe Thanksgiving Day will actually FEEL like Thanksgiving day should! Dirol

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

HAPPY TURKEY DAY (1 day early...probably wont be on much tomorrow). I am 8dpo today. Usually without the clomid/progesterone combo i would be starting to spot today. Last cycle (just clomid) I noticed a pink twinged cm...so far today NOTHING! :blob5: (Hope I am not speaking too soon...) I have had pretty dry cm since O. Except for the discharge from the progestrone suppository and a bit of yellow cm (tmi) I have nothing. I wonder if dry cm is a pg sign? Hmmm. I can only hope. I still dont have any pg signs. Slight twinges here and there, but that is no different than any other month I am in the 2ww. I really dont feel pg. Though in past cycles I have felt pg and I never am...so maybe NOT feeling PG is a good sign for me! Biggrin I really would like to have a nice surprise for the family on Christmas...letting the inlaws and my parents know that they are going to be grandparents. That really is the ONLY thing I want this christmas...I can pass on everything else.

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

I am now 10 dpo...this is my longest LP EVER! :kaos3: I broke down and tested yesterday...of course it was a BFN. My temps are slowly declining too, so I am thinking this is not the month. :cry: I am hoping that one of these mornings I will wake up and it will shoot back up. I think I may go to the dollar store today and try to find some cheapo pregnancy tests so I dont feel bad using them all the time this cycle. I never really get to test b/c AF always comes so early!

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

I had a dream last night that I got a BFP. Of course I was disappointed when I woke up... :roll: I can only hope that it was forshadowing what is to come. Though I still dont feel any pg symptoms and dont "feel" pg. One good thing is that my temps went back up this morning after about 4 days of going down. :shock: I was happy to see that. I hope they stay up there....

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

BFN this morning and that B**ch AF is starting to show her UGLY face. I knew this was going to happen b/c yesterday I was getting signs. Im so sad and annoyed. :cry:

I have an appointment with a different doc tomorrow b/c my doc had an accident and is not seeing patients until January. Hopefully he will be helpful. I have to find a new doc that takes my new insurance...i am hoping I can get a good referral off of this doctor.

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

Have not felt much like writing these past few days. Got AF on Tuesday...was down for a few days. But I had my follow-up appointment with my GYN on Wednesday...I am being upped to 100mgs of clomid and staying on Estrogen and Progestone but this time I will be doing Prochieve gel instead of suppositories. I was also given a specific BDing schedule. Took my first estrogen last night...tomorrow I start the clomid. This is going to be a loooooooong month. :roll:

Joined: 03/16/15
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Hang in there!

I too know the frustration of trying month after month, but I finally concieved April 04 and had my dd in Jan 05. after 8 months of trying! The biggest thing that I remember when I did finally concieve was that I had no symptoms at all. All the other times I would think every little twinge and cramp was pg, however the month I didn't notice a damn thing at all, I was pg! ALSO, you will have discharge when you get pg. I will usually be thick white or yellow. I don't know if all women experience this but it is very common. I am ttc#2 so here I go again!

cd 11

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

I am on cd13 today and waiting to O. I was expecting to O a bit sooner due to the Clomid increase. So far I have had negative OPKs, so we'll see. I went to my new doctor on Friday and he told me that if I am unsuccessful on this round then I should go back down to 50mgs and try one more round at most. In the mean time he suggested that I go to see an RE...saying that there does not appear to be any problems with me or my husband. He said that an RE will monitor me more closely. He also said that I could have a Laproscopy if I wanted to but he didnt see any need for it at the moment as I do not display any signs of endometriosis or abnormality.

I have been a bit obsessed lately with TTC...and spending a bit too much time on Pregnancy.org and reading infertility books. My husband has asked me kindly to try to focus on other things. I agree...focusing on TTCing so much has caused me to become a bit depressed.

I have thought that I might take a month and try an unmedicated cycle. But since my new doc thinks that I should only try clomid one more time then I think I will take a break in February instead. We are thinking of going on a vacation during that month anyway...I do not want to be pumped up on fertility meds during that time. :roll:

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

3 DPO today. I woke up yesterday and after my FMU I realized that I have a UTI! OUCH! :hairraising: So I had to go to the walk in clinic seeing as that it was Saturday. I was there for 2 hours but walked out with antibiotics. I made sure that they were safe to take when pg...I told the doc it was possible but too early to know yet. I only got 6 though...I think I will have to call the doc on monday to see if I need to get more. I am going to Houston on Tuesday for Christmas and I do NOT want to have to go back to a clinic.

I waited a few days to start the progestrone b/c I was still getting twinges and EWCM through yesterday. We BDed yesterday, even though with the UTI i knew it was not smart...but I wanted to MAKE SURE that I covered all of my bases! Dirol I have felt off all day today but I am contributing that to the antibiotics. I just feel sick to my stomach and im very gassy...it is WAY too early for pg signs though and I am aware of that.

I look forward to going away during the 2ww so that I have other things to concentrate on. Hopefully I will not be so obsessed b/c I will be busy having fun with the inlaws. Smile

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

16 DPO today and scared as HELL to test. :? DH told me originally that I could not test until Monday (18dpo) b/c I tested at 12 and got a -. It is 8am and I am acutally holding in my FMU b/c I am so scared. I do not want another BFN and I was doing research last night regarding Procheive 8% and it causing you not to get your period until you stop using it.

I had TWO dreams last night that I got a BFP, which makes me feel even more pressure. I dont want to test, but yet I DO want to test. So if I do get a BFN I can go ahead and have an ENTIRE bottle of wine tonight. Wink Im such a chicken!!!

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Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

BFN

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