well its almost been a month since the last time i wrote no AF no BFP no Oing.. umm... lots of no's huh.. well yes i had a good trip and made it safely home..
whats new is i actually thought I o'ed and boy was i wrong.. that really bits.. why is it when you want your AF you don't get it but when you don't want her she comes... umm... never will understand that. Well anyways.. DH is taking Zinc we think that is good for him. and with both of us taking pills that will be good me taking prenatal and he is taking Zinc so i think that is good.
if no AF comes by April i'm going to go to the dr and get proscribed for some meds to make her come. ... i want a baby so bad!! and i have to keep having a postive side. grrr... come AF come..
well... i took promtrium to make AF come and she came March 21 and know i'm in 2ww and its like how many more days till i can test... so i'm trying to keep busy... packing because at the end of this month we will be moving into the homeplace and i'm so excited its 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom its a really old house no closets we are going to live there for a few years... not forever.... i can't paint that house or anything but its going to be good we will be able to save money and praying that we will be parents soon.... and have a little one to take care of....
DH is praying to that we are pg... well we won't know for a little while longer but thats o.k..... i can try to wait.....
my bbs are really soar and DH says they have swollen up and i get little twinges on my side.... the last week.. .so i don't know.....
2ww can make you go insane... also my temp dropped today i hope it rises agian above the cover line... i'm praying that it does.... well thats all thats new i may test on April 14,2005 that will be our 11months being married too... but i don't know.... probably will... well i'll tell you more later...
Well some good news AF came by herself this time on April 22 she showed up the clomid is really helping
i'm so glad that she came... right know i'm on a break of ttc but i'm still hoping for a BFP this month and if not well its all in God's timing...
Life is going well we are moving out of this apartment and moving into a house Life is going to get better.
I finally will be living in a house and won't know what to do cause it will be so diffrent and we will be getting more finacally stable too so that will also be a plus.. Well. i just wanted to say what was new.
We will be in our new place by April 30,2005 yeppey!!!!
Also i can take a bubble bath when i want to cause its and old bath tub but huge one.
Well another cycle down AF showed up so its on to next cycle, we are not going to use Clomid this month just a lot is going on and when i'm suppose to O will be close to my surgery also moses aunt is coming home and that makes me Life is going well and its good to be on a break, I know how badly i want a baby but i've come to realize i have to be pacient and having this kitten Junior has also been great theropy for me i love my little kitty he is the best... well he is onrey but the best... he is my little baby for know.
i have some little vents to get off my back... Moses mom doesn't seem to understand what it feels like not to conceive so easly she had 2 sons and no problems getting them she doesn't understand and that reall makes me want to and
i feel like she is constantily at me and i just want to tell her to shut up!! and tell her everything is not about her and its hard ttc and so much more..
I never really had a mother figure in my life and sometimes i wonder what a mother is i do have motherly instincts... so maybe some day when i do have children i will understand her better but until than i just want to .... but other than that life is good
DH and i aren't as stressed and we are doing better so thats all that matters right
i'll write more later.. until than tata for know.
How are you all doing today well I'm doing great!!! i think.... Well this month i'm not taking Clomid... but DH belives that i'm going O on my own and i really don't know what to expect or think.. so right know i'm mellow as can be.
DH (Moses) is actually thinkin this is our months so i'm about it... at least he is beliviing know and it makes me feel so much better and not feeling alone. if you know what i mean.
So on Friday June 3- June 8 we are going to be getting a lot of it and So Moses is thrilled we decided aftter Sunday its going to be days after that so our last day will be Wed.. so in a way i'm back in the game and i want the boys to swim swim swim and catch that egg
and when the timing is right well than its right..
May 15,2005 was our 1 year makr at trying and it seems like forever but i'm feeling great we have a baby furbaby and he is keeping me sane and loving me .
So in a few days i may not be on for awhile because i'll be busy lol but if i am on here thats great too... i love writting in this jornal it is the greatest thing ever.
until than later..
Good Morning its 6:10am here i couldn't go back to sleep.. so here i am.... this morning is the first time we have had sex at 4:14 in the morning and it was great... i'm really tired but can't sleep also hungery so i think i'm going to go make a bowl of rasien Brand (sp) it was great this morning.
I like this every other day.... I have this Ovulation thing on my computer and it tells when you are fertial or not and it says i'm suppose to O on Une 7 but today i'm fertile... so lets see if my hubby's boys or girls get to that egg this cycle lol swim swin swim..
well i'm doing better about writtning on here and we are back in the game of TTC but i'm just not temping it makes me and DH fustrarted... lol
I think this is the first time in a long time we are haviing fun and enjoy BDing... and ttc at the same time and this month we are doing well at i think we finally have it down... but i don't know .. we may not but i belive we do.
well i'm going to go eat... i'm hungry...
i may write more later today i don't know ....
but until than later.
well i wrote this morning when i was half awake and half asleep...
but know i'm doing better... Today has been a great day... i'm so relaxed and at eaze with everything.. i told DH that i know soon we will be parents one way or another but i'm not giving up on being a birth parent..
This cycle i haven't taken Clomid... but my body is gearing up to O i feel like... maybe it just needed a jump start... vroom vroom vroom... lol.. i don't sorry for being so goofy.
on a serious note i hope soon i have a or or both i just don't know...
i guess in a few days i'm going to be o ing i've been extremely Gassey... and my boobs' are super soar so that can only mean one thing right??
Maybe tommorow or what ever day i will write.. probably Monday or maybe Sunday i know Defnally not Thursday day i might in the moring casue i have surgery... probably Sunday... and will talk about that more..
well here i am just blah blah blah.. well later
Well this weekened has been very fun.. and interesting DH andI helped out with a major Church things with surronding church's on Sat and we were out in the sun and Humitty it was like 91 degrees plus humity we got there at 11:00am and left like 5:30 pm.. so we were there for a long time.... but it was fun... i got to carry around my DH's God child she is like 2 yrs old and I have fallen in love with her she is also Moses 3rd cousin.. but she is so cute..
and well we are getting busy the next few days.... praying for a BFP.. .but if not thats o.k.... its not ment to be right know.
A women that came to our church today her husband was a guest speaker and he told us that his wife had 5 mc and told they would never have kids and know the have 2 one girl and a little boy i would guess not even 2 he was so cute... but that gives me a lot of Faith and Hope and I know When its in God's time but we also have to do our part
and so thats what we have been doing you know well the next 3 days are busy busy busy if you know what i jmean.. lol.. sorry TMI....
hehe... well next thing i can say is swim boys/girls swim
well write more maybe tommrow...
well i think i'm Oi'ng by myself i think i just needed a jump star the last few days have been TMI eggy, creamy and thats great.. it use to be like that when i was younger so that makes me i think for the longest time... since i had the cycst on my Ovaries that was stoping me from Oi'ing and Having AF but know I now i'm back to normal i feel it... at least i pray that I am Moses belives that I am... lol so thats a plus right?? well 2 more days at making Love well i'll write more latter...
oh by the way.. My Boobs are super soar.. ouch ouch ouch.. well write more later...
well today has been a great day... except yesterday while i was making the bed i hit the end of the bed with my leg and know i got a bruise a hug bruise.. well... Love making has been great 1 more day of doing it well we can keep doing all the time.. but i mean with me trying lol....
well not a whole lot new all i can say is go spern go...
well write more tommrow... i probably won't test until its like the day of my AF the 22 of June.. and will have to wait and see..
well write more later