My name is Rachel, I am 23 and live in Virginia. I married the love of my life in November 06. His name is Will, he is 26. We have been together for almost 4 years. I never thought that i would ever meet someone like him but I did and I thankful everyday for that.
We decide in September 06 that we wanted to try to concieve our first baby..yeah it was before we got married but its something that we wanted. And needless to say my husband brought it up first, which was shocking but so exciting.
Well lets see here..we have been trying for 7 months now and of course so far nothing. Things have been rough for the past few months..my husband and I having our first huge fight in our entire relationship. My grandmother dying. Me trying to find another job..and family drama. My husband's aunt (which is like my best friend) found out she had breast cancer..taking her to her appointments and watching what she has had to go through. And just all this over top of one another.
I have been praying and hoping things will get better and they are. My DH and I are doing great. I am starting my new job this coming saturday. And today I got a positive on a ovulation test that i took. So hopefully this month will be my month. Well I am going to go for now.
Well I didnt do a whole lot today. I hung out with my aunt today for a while. My DH actually bought dinner home tonight which was very sweet. He said something tonight about giving me money to go shopping for the house and a few other things. So hopefully that goes through well. LOL I just want to get out for a while.
Well we Bd on monday, I got my positive Ovulation test on tuesday and we BD tonight (thursday) so maybe by chance this might be our month. I really hope it is. I am getting fed up with the ttc situation and so is he. I guess things will work out for us. I actually have been working on a new scrapbook. It gives me something to do when I am bored. I am praying every day that I find my wedding pic disk that my little sister made for me. We had it around christmas and now we can't find it. It had all the bacholer parties on it and the wedding ceremony and reception. I hope that we can find it. I am so upset about it and my Dh knows I am but he said that it will turn it up on its own. But that still doesnt comfort me enough. Well going to go for now.
well it has been a while since I have typed in my journal. Well I have started my new job. So far its good. There is just so much you have to learn. So i am learning something new everyday. The only thing that I hate is that I am standing on a concrete floor for 8-9 hours every shift. I am going to be searching for a good pair of shoes that will support my feet and knees a little more. I am also considering wearing a back brace. But anyways, AF showed up on march 26th, it was the last day of my cycle. So that was a bummer, I took two test that morning and both were negative and then she showed up that evening. GRRR. My Dh still thinks that there is something wrong with me and nothing wrong with him. I hate when this situation is brought up because it makes me think thta there is something wrong with me and of course that makes me feel really bad. I have scheduled an appointment for this coming wednesday to have a pap done and just a general overall check up.
I am going to also discuss with her about the possibility of me having to go see a specailist just to have things checked out. We have been TTC#1 for 7 months now and I know that you arent suppose to freak out until 12 months but I cant keep dealing with the big disappoinments every month and then of course dealing with my husband.
But anyways I am going to go clean the house and get ready for work, I have to work 2-11.
Well today has been a confusing and sad day for me. I have been following the tradegic situation that has occuried at VA Tech. I cant even begin to describe my feelings on this situation. It sickens me that someone could something so horrific. I dont understand how people can just kill that many people. I dont even see how someone can shoot one person and then continue to kill others right behind one another. It makes me scared about having a baby because I wonder if I will be able to protect my child or wonder if something tradegic might ever happen to my child. My thoughts and prayers are with all the families, students, staff and everyone else that is involved with this upsetting event.
Well as for me I am on cycle day 21...i have been having some slight cramping, slightly sore boobs, a little bit of tiredness and i dont feel like myself. I am extremely bloated to the point where I hate to look at myself in the mirror. I mean if its because I am pregnant then great, but after 8 months of disappointment its hard to keep myself positive. I have taken 2 HPT and yeah I know its to early but I am just so anxious and so ready to that BFP that I am to the point of taking HPT and automatically saying oh I shouldnt have done it because its going to be negative. I know atleast 11 people around me that are pregnant and 1 that has already delievered. I was suppose to attend a babyshower sunday but didnt because I felt so bad. I have to give myself credit though..I made the cutiest home made baby gift basket. My DH thought is was just precious. I am considering to maybe start making gift baskets. Ya know for weddings, birthdays, babyshowers, and other holidays. Maybe that is something that I can do on the side like a new hobby or something. Well I am going to end my journal now..my DH is waiting to get on EBay. I am a pregnancy.org freak and he is a Ebay freak..go figure. LOL
ok well lets see here..where did I leave off?? LOL well I thought for sure that I would get my BFP this month well that didnt happen. I ended up 3 days late and then AF shows up while taking a HPT!! GRRR..I have been trying to get rid of here for 8 months it will 9 months in another week and she wont disappear. My DH got really upset again this month after telling him that it didnt happen. I dont know what else to do..I am just in a down mood...I dont like my job...I have been sick for over a week now.....I got a BFN...I am just so tired of everything right now. I am hoping that things will get better but I am not sure if I have enough strength to even think they will get better. Well I am going to go for now.
well lets see here..i havent put a journal on here for a while. Well my dh and I were having serious problems there for a while. And it was to the point where we were going to call it quits. Well we luckily got past the bad times and things are going rather well now.
I got my new job as a Dental Assistant and wouldnt change it for any job in the world. Its interesting and the Dentist that I assist is awesome. And plus its good pay and great benefits.
Um, DH and I are on our 10 month of TTC#1..it hasnt happened yet. We have been BDing for almost a year unprotected and still nothing. Its really starting to get old getting a BFN every month.
We are going tomorrow to look at a new home with land. I am so excited already I just hope and pray that it will go through. Right now we live in a small single wide..its only 2 bedrooms, 1 kitchen, 1 small bath, and living room. We have no real laundry room which sucks. Its just too small for us. Now if we get this other place..its 4 bedrooms..2 bath, 1 kitchen, 1 dining room, and a laundry room. It will come with 5 acres of land and its has big decks with it. I so hope that this goes through..I want a bigger place. Maybe a new place will bring a new baby!!
Well lets see here...I was wrong on the last post. Dh and I are now on Cycle month #10. Things are going better between us and hopefully they continue to go that way.
We decided not to get the house I was talking about. We have to decided to start remodeling his dads house. It is left to my DH if something ever happens to his father and I hope that isnt any time soon. Will really loves his dad and I know that its going to be a very hard time for my DH and I if something does happen to him. So we are going to take out a loan..payoff bills that we need to pay off and then start remodeling slowly but surely. We figured it would be easier to have one loan rather than 2 seperate loans.
Well we are still BDing unprotected, hell we are married i doubt it would be any other way. 10 months of trying and so far nothing. Its really bothering me but I dont let it show. I called him on the 18th of June and told him when he got off of work to pick me up tampons. He came home and said well I guess that means no baby huh? It broke my heart. So far since last sunday we have been BDing like every other night and I have reason to hide it but the BDing has been great. Its like we have the spark back that we did when we first met. I am hoping that this month will be our month. I am getting ready to O either tonight or tomorrow. And I am feeling weird all ready. I just have this feeling that this might be the month. I told my DH tonight that if is doesnt happen this month then I am going to make a drs appointment and see what is going on. They say to wait until 12 months of trying but I can't wait that long.
I really want a baby and I am sure he does. I know that its bothering him (and me) that he has close friends and family members that are expecting and of course we have people always asking when we are going to have our first little one. We just play it off like we are not trying. We dont want people to know about it. It will just make things worse if we are let down each month. Well I am going to go for now. I will be back to post again tomorrow night.
Well its sunday night and I so dont feel like going into work tomorrow. I just don't feel all that great. And I dont know why. I hope that I am not getting sick. But anyways, I went to my fathers house friday night. My DH was already up there when I got there. I took our pup Tyson with me and the poor thing got sick all the way up there. I felt so bad, but once he got there and played with my fathers dog tina he was feeling better. Saturday night i went to a party thrown by one of my DH's buddies. It was going good until my DH's cousin showed up with his girlfriend..she isnt no where close to being a favorite in my book. We have had a few rounds in the past. Well she is pregnant and it just drove me nuts to stand there and hear her talking about the baby name, the baby room, and all that other stuff. I was so glad when she left.
But anyways I am kindda bummed out because I am hoping to get a bfp soon. But dont know if its ever going to happen. I would love to get a BFP before September because that will be our 1 year mark on TTC. And if we dont get a BFP i will be making an appointment to find out what is going on. I was thinking about trying Ovulex to see if that works or if it will help my body out. oh well I guess we will see what happens.
Well going to go for now.
DH has been laughing at me for the past 2 days, because I am eating like crazy. I have been peeing alot here lately and I am extremely tired. But its not time for testing yet. And I don't want to test to early, one reason because I don't want to see another BFN!!
I am so hoping that I get a BFP!! I would be very happy!! Especially since we will be remodeling our future home. It would be great to be able to go ahead and start a baby room. Well I am going to go for now.
Well, I am so bummed out right now. AF attacked me yesterday. I am to the point now that I am just so close to giving up. I am stalling on making a drs appointment. I guess cause I just want it to happen naturally and it seems that that isnt happening. I am just starting charting so maybe that will help. I have also considered trying Ovulex and to start using OPK's. I guess we will see how things go.