Cd 17 4dpo
Its official..I have broken DBF.
Need to somehow get the pressure off him.
When I got in last night he asked if I wanted Nook Nook...of course I said yes...but didn't say that it was for fun only as I thought he might withdraw his offer...I love making love with DBF so any chance I'll jump at it.
So we played but again he didn't finish..I told him not to worry and fessed up it was for fun only.
He said oh...I thought that it would help as we missed yesterday..bless him.
I said don't worry..I said I feel bad because I broke him..he reassured me just said he was tired and his ankle hurt after his run.
And I'm sure we've done all we can do this month so once we're away it will be fun and nothing serious.
hoping his trip to the cinema chilled him out a bit and I really hope he doesn't feel guilty.
It will happen when it happens eh?
Getting a few digging pains in my ovaries and a dull throb over my right leg..or feels like it there...but it keeps swapping sides so I doubt its anything to get excited over..but my boobs do feel a little weird..got a ache which is so dull I can barely feel it..but its there...could be normal though...I tend to read into every ache and pain and then think... oh it happened last month as well.
So trying not to obsess
Anyway...must get on...got lots to do today in preparation for hols.
May see if its possible to get tomorrow off too as my team meeting is today..that would be sooo cool. :)
Boss has said I can go on leave as of 1600 today!!
Dancing around my desk!!!
DBF says it gives me more time to do the housework..I said "Talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening"
I get a lie in tomorrow!!!!
Oh a week of no posting..:(
Hey ho...will look forward to hearing all the news from everyone when I return...
I'm off to Lake Como..
Holiday was wonderful..weather wonderful..although so hard to sleep at night..but it was lovely.
Our friends little boy just reaffirmed how much I want a child with M..he was an angel..totally.
Only grizzled Fri and Sat and that was because it was like 39 degrees in the shade and even I was grizzling. :)
He was so happy and lovely and cute.
We ate too much and the others drank too much, I avoided alchohal other than the odd glass of wine on occassion..just in case..and to keep the body clear. :)
Came back to baking weather here too...was even harder to sleep.
This morning when I got up DBF asked for a cuddle as it was cooler and he doesn't like how we sleep on seperate sides of the bed when its hot...so had a quick cuddle.
AF found me again..so we are doing all we can this onth.
I have ordered a basal thermometer...will get DBF some folic acid too as apparently its good for sperm..I've cut out ALL caffeine now and am drinking only water..and we're not going to go every day over my fertile period just the crucial and every other day once AF has flown away.
This TTC is knackering..emotionally and physically...but it will be worth it. :)
Anyway...positives...we drove to St Moritz in Switzerland on Thursday..just because we could..and it was so beautiful...we stopped at a little beauty point to take some pictures before we hit the top...there was this bug..it was horrible...it was all floppy antennanes and arms and legs and big bulgy belly...we decided to get in the car and drive far away from it..it was the scariest thing I've ever seen...anyway...just as we're pulling off, V says "Michael its got in your window"..and promptly tickled his neck...DBF almost crashed the car and screamed like a girl....we laughed so hard...if you knew DBF then hes one of these people who winds everyone up by doing this sort of thing and thinks nothing can touch him..so there were many high fives around the car!!! LOL
V and C's little boy loved tunnels..as soon as we went through one all you could hear was giggling..it was a lovely sound. :)
Anyway..its all back to reality now. :)
Not a lot to report today.
Still catching up at work...getting back into the swing of things.
I think I ran over a squirrel today on my way to the station....horrible...stupid thing wouldn't just run in a straight line was circling and I couldn't slow down enough or swerve so I think I squidged it..I hate it when that happens..I love squirrels.
When i lived in London we had a friendly squirrel that my dear old mum caould Freddie..we thought it was a boy til she brought her kids to visit..she would actually come into our kitchen and try and open the cupboard that had the nuts if that didn't work she would come into the living room and get either mine or mums attention to go and feed her.
She would actually sit on our laps and eat.
When mum passed away I hid a lot in my room so the neighbours didn't keep knocking and one day Freddie appeared in my bedroom, just to let me know she was there and then pegged it out of the window in mums room and wai6ted at the back door for me to feed her...how cute eh?
Was sad to leave the house for her.
Anyway..there is my ramble of the day!!!
No TTC goss today though. :(
The witch has flown today...whoop!!!!
Now its just waiting to O...and to get DBF in the mood!!!
I'm in a particularly good mood today...I love coming into work and reading this site...I have to say I'm so happy I found it...the ladies here are fantastic...I really hope that the cyber friendships I seem to be making grow and grow...you guys are fantastic. :D
M decided that having the puppy sleeping on the sofa with us when we're curled up wasn't hygenic..I have to agree..but I do love having my ball of fluff on my lap.
But...I have to say that lasy night having him on the floor seems to have calmed him down a little...he wasn't all over us, vying for attention or trying to chew us...and although he seemed a little sad, I have to say good on DBF...he had yesterday off so was obviously very consistant with Rocco...so there wasn't any problem.
Posted some of the holiday pics on FB last night...and the day before...DBF's sister commented on one of us all in Switzerland with little G in his buggy asking when we were going to give her a nephew....I just responded Hahahahaha....not ready to let that one out the bag yet...wait until we have a BFP until we let people know our plans....my family know we are trying, but M's doesn't and we want to keep it that way or else there will be added pressure..my family are quite laid back..whereas M's would be a little over excited me thinks..anyway..its nice to surprise them. :D
Anyway..on with the day...
Another day begins..another day closer to O..another day closer to that little bean. :)
Nearly the weekend and I can't wait...going to see Bruno....really looking forward to it..I love sasha thingmajig!!
DBF had his bro over last night...he was in show off phase so I went up to watch tv in bed, removed myself from the situation..he finally came up and apologised...we had bickered over dog fur....Mad....said he loved me and that was that...then as I switched the tv off to go to sleep all i could hear was the tv downstairs and the boys laughing and talking...sound carries really badly from the living room to the bedroom..I went downstairs and asked very nicely if they could keep it down as I was going to sleep..DBF told me to 'shut up'..went back upstairs and they were still being loud, so I went to the spare room as the sound doesn't carry to there and had a fab nights sleep...DBF isn't happy...I guess he was also ratty through dropping the cigs and I should take that into account..but wow..sometimes he just does my head in..MEN!!
I don't mind if he wants to have a go when we are on our own, but when he goes off in front of people it makes me look and feel bad...
He talks to me like that in front of our potential LO and there will be hell to pay.
Anyway..I'm sure it will be all fine when I get home with his memory stick. :)
Shame we're not playing badminton tonight...that would relieve the tension. :)
A quiet day at work today as everyone is out of the office for an Away day..so I'll be able to knuckle down and get on with some Health and safety stuff, without stupid questions being thrown at me.
Have to say I feel good today as I had such a good nights sleep..only thing is I forgot to get the thermometer which I left by my bed with a pad and pen..so didn't start the temping last night...Pfff..hey ho...always tomorrow morning. :)
Spoke to my dad last night and really want to go and visit..but its going to be hard as DBF is really busy with work for the next 5 weeks..the B and B is full so he has to work weekends....don't really want to go alone..but if needs must..we'll see.
Hope to my big brother soon too..missed his birthday as I was away..maybe I'll take him for dinner after work one evening.
Thank crunchy its Friday.
Wish I wasn't here today..although I was in bed at about 2030, it wasn't a good sleep as I cried myself to sleep...DBF was stressing over the dog eating a plant of his..I can understand that its frustrating as he has nutured this plant..but he thinks the dog has got something wrong with his brain and that he should have calmed down by now and shouldn't be destroying things or being so hyper.
I keep explaining that because we are not consistant its our fault..I keep saying that we have to be vigilant in training but he says its not so..I can't do it alone..if I don't let him jump up and he does than its mixed messages surely.
DBF says that the dog shouldn't jump at visitors and I say but if they did as I asked and just ignored him for 5 minutes then he would calm down...I know it means guests can't sit down for 5 or 10 min when they get in, but surely standing up and turning their back and NOT touching the pup when hes trying to get attention for such a short length of time is better than pup getting attention and jumping all over them all evening??
But no...I'm wrong as always.
Thats not fair of me actually as once DBF had calmed down he did say he agreed with Some of the things I said.
Anyway..as rows go I'm then told I don't pull my weight..WTF??...he vaccuums and cooks..I do everything else..he wants me to do it all because I'm a woman and should be house proud...I said I'm out of the house 12 hours a day...I come home and clean the kitchen after hes cooked and made a huge mess and clear up where things are bad..weeknds I do ALL the washing, clean the kitchen again, sweep floors clear tables....sort out the bedrooms..but he wants me to clean and vacuum after work...helloooo.....hes home more than me why can't he do it.
If he was a clean addict as in did it all then I would have no problem..but he doesn't...
He told me to look at some of our friends places and how clean they are..I pointed out that they have cleaners!!!!!!...still didn't shut him up...hey ho.
So petty and silly...
I told him I would talk to a girl and work and also my puppy class people to see if they will have Rocco..he keeps changing his mind..i text this morning about it and I have just got a text saying ask about what???
I love him and 90% of the time hes great..but hes such a male chauvinist pig..and he has no patience what so ever...
Sorry this has turned into a moan fest...guess I just need to get it of my chest.
He did apologise last night..but sometimes when the words are out there it still hurts for a while.
Anyway....we're going to the pictured tonight and getting a bite to eat before hand so hopefully we can put it all behind us.
We have a strong relationship and I guess you need a few barneys to clear the air at times.
He just needs to learn how to talk to people, because its not just what he says its how he says it...and he did admit that because he was stressed he was picking on me...so thats a step forward eh?
He said we need to kiss and hug more too...so lets see...:)
Sorry for the rant.
I'm good now. :)
2 days to go til O...whoop!!!!!!!!
Nearly in the 2ww!!
Weekend was great..DBF and I backed each other up with puppy and remained consistant and its already having an effect...plus not letting him on the sofa has worked a treat too...so all is lovely in the Essex household!!
Saw Bruno on Friday..very good but not as good as Borat and not for those easily offended...was cringingly good. LOL
We had chinese too that evening..yummy..:)
Sat we got a new puppy gate so puppy has a little more room to run about in when we are out so he doesn't just stay in the kitchen plus M put a carpet in there and it looked so cosy...watchiung the cat do the leap of faith to get to her litter tray outside is fun to watch.
She seems fine with it though.
Yesterday I did all the housework and ironing..or the stuff I didn't do Saturday and then drove to Chelmsford to get a runner for where puppy sleeps as the carpet Michael put down was very light and would get dirty..so surprised him by doing the drive...he had decided he wanted the rug not the runner though..so I got the wrong thing..if only he had told me..but he said he didn't think I was going to go and get it..I said it was the last thimg he asked me before he went to work..he said that I had said no..I said I wanted to surprise him..hahaha..any way it looks good anyway.
Then we went to Cambridge to get a new grapevine to replace the one puppy ate and had a great lunch at Scotdales...was a great weekend and DBF was being very lovely and cuddly.
I love it when everything is disneylandesque!!
Hope everyone had a top weekend.
Oh oh oh....I brought my great grandmothers engagement ring into work today to see if I could get the band changed on it and to get it restored...sadly as it is so old and well worn and there is a crack in the Emerald they can't restore it...apparentley heat and Emeralds do not mix...but he said that it would be possible to remake using the orinaginal stones and the stones could be polished...got a quote on that and it was £1200 I nearly fainted..the ring is only worth £400/£500.
The other option was to resize it to my size so then once M and I decide to get engaged we can use this ring..because ultimately when that happens I want this ring with all my heart.
Was told it is an 18th century ring.
they know because it has plantinum top to the ring. I mean most of the band is 18 carot but coming up to the diamonds its platinum..and it isn't hallmarked properly and apparently that came in in the 1900's.
So its very antique.
I ask M if he would be happy to pay for my birthday present in September and luckily he agreed...went very quiet when I said about £1200 to remake..but remaking would make it not the same ring...shame its gold gold as I don't like the colour but the band is thing and the platinum is more prominant so not complaining.
Only thing is I wanted to pass it down to my kids for when the got engaged and make it a family heirloom, but i won't be able to do that as its well worn already.
You never know I may be able to do something in years to come...but I love that its an antique. :)
Anyway..very happy that I'm getting it resized.
I'm a size H and a half!!! tiny!! LOL
CD 11 Bit gross
Will get my positive tomorrow around 2pm...woooohoooo...so nice to be able to know thing by the minute..I am very very lucky!!
Had a nice evening..drove straight up to DBF's folks house from the station to meet him in the gym shed and have a work out..did half an hour on the cross trainer...had my special tummy melter on..its thick belt that helps you sweat off more calories...couldn't work out what was dripping on my foot and though it was sweat from my chin...gradually I got a patch on my dress that looked like a pee patch and it was growing..(Yes I did a work out in a little floating dress and plimsols LOL) and when I stopped it was sweat from the belt..it was gross..LOL...DBF said maybe I should keep gym wear in my car..hahaha
We went home had some dinner, played with puppy and watched 'Lie to me' then went to bed....decided againt boinking as was tired and DBF was watching tv so wasn't interested..thought that is was fine as tomorrow is O day.
Got woken in the early hours by DBF and though Whooohooo!!
So we started for this month...whoop!!
Bring it on!!!!