and no +opk yet..again I'll try tonight..I think I got my + on day 13 last month...or 14...can't remeber...hey ho..extra chance of having the little men waiting!!
Today is my 100 post in my journal...have I really been trying for this long!....scary!!
Not a lot to report really.
Erm...shopping tonight as we have no food and DBF has been making dinners up out of nothing..have to say i am impressed though.
Puppy continues to pee in the kitchen...not proper pees but marking and DBF is stalling having him snipped...I can see where he is coming from..but then he can't see my side of the arguement...I guess I have a couple of months to convince him it is for the best..and quite frankly I'm sick of mopping the floor at 5am every morning.
i know getting him done doesn't guarentee an end to this terrotorial marking..or his hyperness..but it does lower the risk of testicular cancer and the poor thing having all these urges that he can't do anything about...Maybe I'll just book him in and see what happens...maybe not..it is a decision for both of us and I can't just undermine him...can I?
No....wrong way of thinking.
Nearly time for my Best friends Wedding...just over a week til I fly out there...I am so excited.
My best friend is all grown up.
Well my temp has been rising since Wednesday..which I didn't unerstand..but today it hit 98 so I can assume I have o'd now.
Managed to get a last dance in last night although when I mentioned to DBF that I would like to do it he said..oh..I thought we were doing every other day..I said yes..but as I believed I was oing yesterday I would like to have a quickie..he went very coy and said..oh..I don't know if there will be anything..I said..you didn't..he said..well you said to keep my pipes clean and I didn't think we were going to do it tonight..bless him..see..when you try to take the pressure off and not mention it too much things like this happen...luckily we still managed.
Was funny too..I suggested very tongue in cheek some role playing..said I would be an x factor contestant and he could be Simon Cowell..at which point I wedgied him..hahaha...he screamed and said no no..theres hardly anything in there already...don't kill whats left..we need as much as we can get..bless him...and then he wedgied me..hahaha
sorry tmi..but it was really funny...location joke I guess.
Poor sod is suffering though..hes has a niggling little cough all week and last night it took hold...we fell asleep and he woke up hacking..couldn't stop..took some cough medicine and still couldn't stop.
Kept apologising to me..but the coughing wasn't disturbing me it was his constant apologing and asking if i was okay and why wouldn't I answer him.
in the end I had to say that I wasn't answering him because that would wake me up properly and he waqsn't disturbing me and not to worry because that would make his cough worse.
I was then awake..but its not his fault.
He went and sat in the spare room for a while so as not to disturb me...aww.
Only thing is he left the room open for the cat to get in and shes peed in there in the past and I'm worried she will have done it again..will check when I get home tonight.
Hes folks are at the Vill in Como at the mo so we are going up to the house tonight to sit with nan and keep his bro company...should be relaxing..I'll see what film the boys want to watch and maybe go and sit with nan and watch the soaps..shes a great woman.
Then off to Brighton tomorrow to see one of my oldest friends..shes having a party..so will drive down there and come back sunday..possibley help M with the holiday cottages when I get in..shame he is booked up with guests all weekend and he can't come with me..but it will be nice to do something on my own too.
Anyway...now its the waiting game so the more things I do the better!!
Have a great weekend all.
I had a huge temp dip this morning..but don't know if it was because I woke up and went back to sleep..and if I did it was only for about 20 mins..so...plus I had night sweats when I woke up so my body may have been cooling me down..I don't know..but looking at my temps they have never gone that low.
Not reading anything it...had a really bad sleep on saturday and been stressed so it all contributes.
I drove to Brighton on Saturday for one of my best friends house parties.
Popped round the corner to fill up on petrol and then drove back past the house to get on my way..about 15 yards from my house is a very steep bend in the road..god knnows what I was doing but I misjudged the road and mounted the kerb which in turn blew out my tyre!...fab...pulled into the stables and had a look and thought I would have to cancel.
Parked the car back outside the house and DBF came back down from work to give me his car keys so I could still get there...never driven what I call an adult car..my car is a dinky little thing...so to drive a family car well...scary...DBF told me I was too close to the steering wheel and if I crashed then I'd hurt myself...told him if I pulled the chair back then I couldn't reach the peddles..he looked and laughed at my short legs just reaching. LOL
Any way..even now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't go..that maybe me trashing my tire was a sign...but no..I had to go..had to see my friend..make the effort as she has for me on a few occasions.
anyway..get stuck in traffic on the motorway..adds another hour or two to my journey..again I'm thinking..hmmm..should I turn back.
nope Ms stubborn won't listen to her gut!
Get to Brighton and the sat nav takes me through these tiny gravelly roads...my car is bouncing and there are little prefabs all over the place...suddenly I see my destination but I cann't get there as there is a looked Farm gate in front of me.
I have to try and reverse in a lane that is smaller that Kate Moss's waist...luckily a little guy was outside his place and helped me reverse.
my friend has no idea where I am so her and her new BF drive around until they find me and we get to the destination.
No one is at the party..its just us 3 and her BFs friend..I laugh about the journey and enjoy a glass of wine..slowly a couple of others arrive. All young 20 year olds..my friends fella is 23.
Anyway..its a quiet do..with a little too much of things going on that I do not want to involve myself in.
friends BF seems okay...we talk about my friend and he uses me a shoulder..telling me how much he loves her and how to make the relationship better.
Seemed a nice guy.
Then suddenly it all kicks off.
some young girl is at the party who another young girl doesn't like and friends bf goes mental..at first I thought he was messing..then it was grabbing a knife..he put it down but what he was saying verbally...well...I had my say...tried to diffuse the situation...couldn't do it..he was apologising for upsetting me as I was bawling my eyes out...but he couldn't see what he was doing was wrong..kept saying at least you've seen who I am..and this is me..well...i felt like I was taking part in a bad Jeremy Kyle show.
Anyway..I finally removed myself from the situation and went to bed.
I had one of the young girls coming in crying saying she was scared..I told her to go home then..she only lived next door.
then while I was trying to block out the arguing as it was all just verbal at this point the BFs friend comes in to get away from the situation and gets into bed with me..WTF??..i'm like you can't sleep here..i have a bloke I respect and I'm not sharing a bed...he won't move..so I wait until the arguing stops and i hear everyone go to bed and then I get the duvet and sleep on the sofa.
I left as early as possible in the morning and was so relieved to get home.
My friend seems to think its all cool and these things happen...
I feel sad that I will never have that man in my home which probably means my friend won't visit again..until they split up..and I don't mean to be horrid but I hope they do..hes a liability.
the moral of this story..trust your gut!!
I know I should have..
Roll on Thursday when I can get to cork!!
Was home alone last night. DBF had a web design course and then decided to stay at his parents as they are in Italy and his brother was out and he wanted to be their for nan..so I had a nice quiet evening on mafia wars...hahaha.
Rocco was so good all evening..just settled down and slept. At one point I thought maybe he was ill as he wasn't jumping all over me...so I waved his rope toy and he was springing around.
then he settled straight back down when I stopped playing.
was really pleased.
Obviously its DBF's prescence that makes him so hyper..hahaha.
didn't even have a complaint when I put puppy to bed..he was very good.
Slept badly last night again..back was agony...I'm going to start noting when I get back pains and see if its anything to do with my cycle as it does seem to happen in the 2ww.
My temps went up again today so I'm in the higher end and how I believe i should be...still wondering what yesterdays dip was about..it was a very big dip!
can't believe i have just today and tomorrow before I go and see my best friend and watch her get married..best get some waterproff mascara because I know I'm going to cry like a baby!
I can't wait!!!
Need to get some tattoo cover up too..only a small tat on display in the dress but not sure my friend will want even a small bit on show..and I don't want to face her mum and dads comments....LOL..I'm a 35 year old woman who is still petrified of my best mates parents!! Freak!! LOL
Anyhow...on with the show.
Pretty sure this isn't going to be my month..and no fab birthday present as my pre AF gland has made an appearance..its either early or my cycle will be 26 days again.
Pah! oh well at least i won't be obsesing too much with that keeping me grounded.
6 hours til I can go home and begin my break.
Home to watch Trueblood..pack and do online check in...whoop!
Then off to see my bestest friend ever in cork and take part in her wedding.
I can't believe shes getting married!!!
Can't wait to spend an evening chatting tomorrow before her family come on Friday...we get some us time!!
We've been best friends for 34 years!!!!
How scarey is that!
Its going to be fabulous!!!
Hoping my heels work okay with the dress as I haven't had it taken up!
Anyway...popping puppy in kennels tomorrow so at least i know he'll have a fab time.
Once back it will be birthday stuff..omg..36 on tuesday!! I'm getting on!!
Money is going to be tight though as I have just had my last months rent from my tenant as they have moved to Luton and haven't found a new tenant yet.
Not sure how I'll cope with out that coming in..it pays my mortgage...hmmm...guess it means no treats at all and I had better think of bills I don't need.
and christmas is deffo cancelled...just cards this year.
I know my family will understand.
Or I'm sure M can buy the gifts this year...hahahaha
Only a temp set back I'm sure but I am freaking abit..got so much to pay put for at the mo.
Hoping M will pay for puppy...fingers crossed.
I can't even afford to get dog food so he had better. LOL
Oh...i'm worrying myself..change the topic.
My poor SIL is in a state...her DBF was involved in a motorcycle accident the other day and hes in a realloy bad way...he was transferred to ICU yesterday.
I don't know what his injuries are..i haven't wanted to ask loads of questions..I know how stressed she is...she sent me a random text last night saying that she wanted to clean his teeth for him and that he must feel really dirty.
I was stumped at what to respond as i knew it wasn't a rational text and I didn't want to not reply..I just needed her to know I was there for her.
Everyone seems to be against her taking time off work to be with him and I think thats horrible...I know that if it were her bro in there noone would get me to work..i would be doing exactly what she is and just being there.
The gereral consensus is that he should be okay but its a long road and pretty bad.
Please..your T and Ps are needed here.
Hes a great chap..its horrible its happened to him.
I had a wonderful time in Cork.
My best friend had to be the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.
Ava Gardner eat your heart out.
it was a spectacular day...the reception was out of this world..they had hired this holiday village in the middle of nowhere..the hall where the meal and dancing was used to be a church..it used to be a village with a manor house and servants qyaurters and it was all self sufficient back in the day...The bride and Groom stayed in the main house whereas the guests stayed in this little cottages which were converted into single floor rooms.
and they were so cosy..best nights sleep ever.
The food was so scrummy...4 courses of delicousness.
Then we had a small dance floor with a balconey.
I decided about 11pm to go back to my room as my feet were killing me.
M and I hung about in there..went to bed but then he couldn't sleep so he got up..he went back to the do and I told him to lock me in as I wanted to go to bed.
but a woman can change her mind and within 10 mins i wanted out..i was calling the bride and groom hoping they had their phones...and then I hung out of the window and called to the grooms brother to get M to let me out..hahaha..he came back and we partied.
everything shut down at 130am so we went to a little room and all chilled there..The Groom had bought extra drinks and we had a beer down there.
Byt 3 i was shattered and went to bed..M followed on 2 mins later.
Breakfast was a full irish...I avoided the black and white pudding. LOL
We tagged back to the Brides house.
She went to bed so did I..then we said our goodbyes and went to the airport.
Was a wonderful time.
Then we got back and chilled.
Puppy had his op yesterday but is now bouncing around with a cone on...M and I are panicing he'll rip his stitches..but very happy he is on top form.
M thinks I'm cruel..says I have mutilated him..but its only fair if hes not going to breed...poor love..he doesn't seem to miss them at all.
Birthday was lovely..got a DS lite and lots of vouchers.
No ring..but hey ho..I' can wait..pah!!
No BFP either..but then I only tested on Sunday and not with FMU..but then pretty sure I'm out anyway..but will see tomorrow. ..then onto the next cycle.
My temps when I have temped have been very low and up and down.
today it went even lower..but I had a bad nights sleep and have no idea what time I woke up but was soaking wet with sweat...so is the temp accurate?..have no idea...never got above 98.04 this cycle although I didn't do it religously...found my cervix just after O for the first time it was low and hard..was fasinating..but today I couldn't find it..so i don't know what I'm doing wrong.
But I guess I'll have to go on whether I get AF or not.
Although 99% sure I will.
Onto clearing the 200 mails out of my work inbox...hasn't stopped!! LOL
Well today I have booked an appointment for myself and DBF to go and see the doctor.
DBF is going to do a sample for her and we can discuss our options..if there are any.
It feels slightly premature as I haven't been of BC for a even a year yet...not sure if I came off in Oct or November...my cycles have been very good from day one really though.
nevere over 29 days...and had 6 months of 26 days and the last two months have been 28 with a very healthy looking flow..so I wonder if its just getting the pill out of my system holding us back.
but its never too early to start testing.
I'm 36 now and petrified of complications.
Appointment is next Wednesday....I think it will probably be just a chat initially..but hope DBF will be able to do a sample then..although I have no idea what the procedure is.
It all seems so real now...we're not just playing...we are making it happen...one day we're going to parents.
I am really excited.
So pleased we got an appoinment so quick...means if I have to have any tests they will be able to start this cycle....whoop!!!!!
Bring it on!
In 2010 I just may be holding a beautiful bundle that was created out of the love between me and DBF...i am so happy!
What a top weekend.
We didn't do much just laughed an awful lot..played dead arm a lot....hmmm..we are children at heart and played a rhyming insult game...it may sound stupid but by god we laughed..
Bog breath and so on...we are such kids.
got a new dress with the vouchers MIL got me for my birthday.
couldn't spend the ones M got me as I didn't really like anything in Monsoon..well not enough..so..I'll wait..they have a quick turnaround.
Had dinner yesterday with the IL's as BIL was going back to uni for his finakl year..that was nice.
We had Cliff richards Summer holiday on the box and listening to MIL and FIL bickering about it was hysterical..got even bettr when An Audience with Sir Cliff came on..noone wanted to see it, but watching MIL getting annoyed about not having the remote was classic.
Puppy seems back to his perky self today after Friday and Saturday being cause for concern as he was so quiet, shaky and weird.
Only say by doors..didn't want to go outside...we were so worried, but I think his bits were hurting...he seems okay now..although he peed in the kitchen..but probably my fault as I went to the loo before I came downstairs this morning and he couldn't hold it any longer..had obviously been desperate as it was the biggest wee ever..was still spreading when I went in the kitchen after letting him outside..didn't spot it until I thought..hmm..hes not going and hes looking guilty.
But I don't care..I'm just happy he seems more perky.
Hes soooo cute.
Anyway..lets get this week started.
So much to do as I'm off Friday to got to Denamrk for another wedding!!
was teasing DBF about getting engaged again.
He was like why are you wanting this..you were never bothered before..I said I just wanted to wear the ring...told him it was for the wrong reasons.
He said that You're still Mrs D whether you have a ring or not.
I said i was happy not to get married, but I wanted to be engaged. LOL
Hes calls me Mrs D all the time..says I can wear the ring if I want but its not an engagement ring..I said then I'll wait.
not too fussed..guess part of me wants to get on the band wagon because everyone around us is getting married.
Novelty for me, nevr wanted it before.
Will try again once preganat. LOL
I am sooo tired!!!!
Keep waking up before my alarm and end up listening for the slightest movement from puppy as I know if I don't get down there fast enough then he'll pee everywhere.
Today was no different...woke up about 5 mins before my alarm..had woken up sporadically during the night.. nad thought i'll do my temp and then get down before puppy hears my alarm.
had the stupid thing in my mouth when I hear him shake himself and then whine...I'm praying the therometer will beep fast...half out of bed as it beeps and I peg it down there...puppy runs out the kitchen..jumping at the back door like hes desperate..i 'm thinking I've got there in time..but oh no a puddle was spreading!
I think he may have a bladder infection as it seems that he can't hold it even for a minute when he wakes up in the morning.
I was thinking of no liquids after 7pm..but if it is a bladder infection then that will make it worse.
But then hes not drinking more than usual or anything.
Roll on Vets tomorrow.
Hes having his stitches out so M can have a chat to them.
could also be incontinance I guess..I have heard that after a dog is done they can have a weak bladder for a while...but this has been going on from before the op.
Feel bad about him going to kennels after the vets tomorrow now.
We are off to Denmark for a wedding/christening.
Should be fun.
Can't wait to see A and T's new baby.
And to see them tie the knot.
not looking forward to the even earlier star on Friday though...got the flight at 7am....zzzzzzzzzz
doctors tonight and very excited.
sure if it will be just a chat today and booking M in later..or whether he will gibve a sample today...but whatever...we have the ball rolling!!