Well did I o yesterday or is it today...can't really read my temp today properly as I woke at about 4 and then fell back to sleep...woke just before my alarm went off and faffed around trying to find the button to switch the thermometer on....so was faffing about...but then it is very high and my temp tends to be lower during waking hours..so...we'll just keep boinking til the peak goes.
My gland that normally comes up around day 20 or 21 has been up on and off all cycle and today seems very tender.
This cycle is just so different..whether it means anything or whether its down to the clocks going back the other week or what I don't know.
Its a case of waiting and seeing I guess.
at least this cycle I have finally worked out the difference between my cervix being hard and soft..there isn't much in it..but its not like a marble any more and a tiny bit squidgey so...whoop!
Need to get another nook time in tonight before we go to a fireworks party...because I won't have time to just lie around I'll use one of the cups I bought a while back.
I stopped using them as I was paranoid I wouldn't get it in properly and that it would block the opening..but I think I know my position well enough now to avoid that.
DBF was wanting me to use one last night because he felt all his men had come out.
I think we were okay.
Anyway..the time between us not having it and the doing it was the same as when we went to the Hospital and there were lots and lots then so I reckon we are in with a good chance.
As long as none of those abnormals get to the egg first.
I so want the next 2 weeks to go fast so I can have an answer. LOL
Well again what is going on with my chart...my opk and monitor both say I peaked on CD13..yet my chart shows I may have o'd on day 12...I so hope we haven't missed it again!!!
Last 2 nights I've been woken up...but the temp rise is too dramatic to be that out...there would still be a rise....Wish I knew what it meant...plus my cervix was perfect yesterday..I think that I suck at temping....but hey...time will tell eh?
still going for it tonight as I have a high on the monitor...so...
Fireworks was great last night.
J and A have a huge house with lots of land...I can't believe how many fireworks J bought...it was quite a spectacular affair.
although the wind was blowing the fireworks forward so we were all gradually getting further and further away..and some were inside watching..lots of sparks and bits falling on people...
they also had a HUGE bonfire....we were watching the wind blow the embers to the tree and wondering if it would go up...but luckily there were no mishaps..thank god it had rained.
it was a really nice evening..even A had come out with G which is a rareity and really nice.
We weren't home late at all...by 2020..but it was a lovely evening.
Leave early today...yay!!...got the dentist..getting my teeth cleaned.
need to get rid of the staining from too much coffee and that stupid mouthwash.
life is good..I feel very happy today.
hope everyone has a top weekend.
looking forward to sunday as we are going over to M's sisters for lunch as S has recovered quite well from his motorbike accident and will be going up north before returning to Cyprus for work.
so it will be a see you soon meal.
Will be great..L is a fantastic cook.
so with a little help from those that know I've changed my factors on the chart to go with the monitors and opks...that makes me feel much more comfortable.!
That looks more realistic to me.
What is going on here!!
My AF gland has been up since CD7 which is so weird...but over the weekend my right boob has been so sore...under the arm and round the side..my left boob is also sore but not to the extent of the right one.
the feeling i have is normally from CD 20 or 21...so I don't know what on earth is going on.
I cooked a chicken stir fry on Friday...the first mouthful was fine..but then the rest tatsed like it was off..and the texture seemed like maybe I had cooked it enough...it was so disgusting that I left it.
DBF said his was fine and we checked and it was cooked right through.
I just didn't like it.
Then we had chicken on Sunday at his sisters and alsthough I ate it it just didn't taste right,,I'm now loathe to eat chicken again.
Are these symptoms or is it just maybe I'm coming down with a cold or something..I don't know!
Surelly its way too early for symptooms...even if I had concieved my body wouldn't really know..would it...and I hadn't even o'd when my boobs started up.
I have had really really bad wind too al weekend...hadn't been able to go and felt no urge to go for a few days and then went today and it was easy to go...just normal.
My tummy has been gurgling too like I'm going have an unpleasant explosion...yet I don't...I actually thought that I would have an upset stomach but don't.
I don't know if all this means anything..but ...
I wish my boobs would feel less uncomfortable thats for sure...the underwire is making it worse!
I feel like I've got implants or something.
My boobs still hurt and they seem bigger...I had dents from where my bra was last night.
Granted since I've put on weight I have this with some bras...but this is the bra that has fitted me...plus I've been loosing a bit of weight recently...when I look in the mirror in the lift my boobs seem huge...
Last night when I was in bed I had a feel and round the sides of both close to the bottom it felt like there were chicken fillets in there...I don't explore my breasts very often but I am sure I've never had them swollen like that before.
I slept well last night yet today I feel shattered...my eyes are stinging and I feel a bit congested...could be a cold coming on I guess.
Having the odd twinge in my hip and top of my tummy and my ovaries..but only every now and again.
I guess time will tell what all this means..although I'm pretty sure that I'm just going to have a massive AF visit this month.
I just can't imagine being pregnant.
Anyway...on with work to try and keep me awake.
Everything is still the same...all symptoms still there..although saying that..I have a bit more heartburn..like now...normally that doesn't come on until later in the day.
One thing I haven't mentioned...hasn't happened for a couple of days..but I seem to have a tightness across my chest, which I assume is heartburn...but it sometimes makes my left shoulder feel funny and my arm...not in a heartattack way...but...it hurts.
I don't know what I'm feeling other than pain. LOL
Went to bed at 2030 last night and still I am so shattered.
Winter..or something else?
Well....boobs still painful.
Woke up this morning after having no bra and they felt better.
decided against my normal bra hoping that would help a bit...so put a sports bra on..but it still hurts...its the sides mostly...my right one more than the left because of the swollen gland..but its a close call now.
i was sure last night when looking my nipples were looking red..ask M, but he couldn't tell.
This morning they feel hot through my dress...like when you have sunburn and you can feel the heat radiating...weirdness.
Spots are clearing up now though.
Yesterday I stared feel really quite sick and today I keep thinking I feel sick..but I think its in my head.
DBF woke me at 320 this morning...he couldn't sleep so put his tape on....that woke me...once he knew i was awake he was asking all sorts of questions..you alright?..is it okay to have my story on as I can't sleep?
do you want some?
Then I heard the dog move so had to run downstairs and let him out.
Got back to bed and M is giggling that the wjole family is up as the cat was crossing from one wardrobe to the other using the tv as a bridge..he insisted I look.
As calmly as possible I asked him to shut up so I could get my last couple of hours sleep in and that my temps were going to be messed up now.
his response..."But I love you"
Love him too....but I could have clobbered him. LOL
Anyway...its nearly Friday...whoop!
Weekend is upon us.
Still all the same symptoms.
Gagged while brushing my teeth too..BUT..I do do that sporadically anyway..only difference was I dry retched too.
My cervix...it seems to have turned or something...as much as I can feel it..I can only feel the squishy outside bit...can't get the dome bit.
will try again in a bit..but its weird!
Oh oh...was waiting at the tube last night and one of my colleagues were there and told me how another colleague has just adopted a lo...I am so pleased for them.
Hes just come in and I asked him if I could be nosey...as i had only heard it through the work grapevine.
i said I hear congratulations are in order and they have successfully adopted a 14 month old little girl.
the start the introduction phase on Monday...going to go round to his desk and look at her photo now!
How wonderful is that.
I am so thrilled for them.
Makes me feel a little teary as I'm so happy.
Had a good weekend.
Took M's nan to visit her sister on Saturday and we went into the town and had a nice lunch at Prezzo.
Then we went out sat with the guys...I regret the 3 glasses of wine as my temp went through the roof...and I felt awful yesterday...3 glasses and felt hung over...not good.
Should have stuck at 2..refused 3 rounds and then got my arm twisted...If someone asked me to jump off a cliff would I???
Anyway..was a nice evening.
Yesterday we went into Chelmsford and M bought me 2 new bras...since putting on a bit of weight my boobs have got bigger and over the last couple of weeks the only bra that fitted me is too small and with how painful my girls have been i asked michael if he would treat me...and god love him he did..I asked him Friday and he reminded me when we were outside M and S.
I got 2 lacey non wired bras and got measured by a very nice lady.
Gone drom a 32 c to a 34 dd...nearly cried..I paid to have them made smaller!!
Anyway..the main bit of this info is she asked me when measuring me whether I was possibly pregnant...I said just waiting to find out really.
she told me that if I am not she would be very very surprised as my boobs were blooming.
Huge blue veins..etc..did say that I seem to get blue veins all the time over the last few months...but..a woman who is an expert of boobs...felt great to hear it.
so of course this morning I tested and got a BFN...don't feel as bad about it as I realised when I got in I'm 11 DPO not 12...but will be waiting now.
Plus my temp is slipping a bit...not a lot..but enough to make me think the my progesterone levels are going down now.
time will tell although I'm not amazingly hopeful.
my boobs and stuff may point in the direction but deep down..nah..its not my time yet.
Its not over til Friday...but...I hate the waiting!! LOL
Edited to add... I can't get to my cervix to find the position...this is tmi but its like my canal for want of a better word has closed up...Its too tight to get in there really...and if I do squeeze up there I can't find it...I can feel a bit of a fleshy lump...but not my cdervix..its like the outside of it where its squishy.
Why can't I get to it!!
Its quite freaky.
I think I got there once over the weekend...but I think its so high I can't find it...
Weird weird weird!
BFN again today.
DBF just called to ask how my temps were this morning...aww...told him they had dropped a tiny bit again but couldn't tell how accurate they were as I was tossing and turning for ages before taking the temp.
Plus got up early due to my back being horrid.
Back to 3 pillows I think..that seems to lessen the pain.
Can't believe I have one day off work and it all goes mad.
Our waste pipe has dripped and it hasn't flooded downstairs...got to sort our redecorating.
Trying to find out why the waste pump hasn't been maintained.
Feel really antsy today...so much to get sorted.
i made a comment about being made reducdant and getting a package to the CEO and he seems to be considering it if I do get preggers.
Told M..he says that it seems unlikely...
Said it would help once we have a LO...
So much to write and I keep losing my train of thought.
Think I'm all panicy that AF is going to showe too.
Guess this month I'm going to be really disappointed....its just that I'm at the point of 'enough already'...I just want the next stage...its starting to grate...its like being stuck in ruddy Groundhog day!
Vent over..I'll be fine once I've had some sleep and I can start a new cycle.
Edited to add..I finally found mrs cervix..and shes very high..and I'm convinced shes soft too...the difference between my soft and firm is minimal normally..but I swear its a lot softer...its like the squishy outsdie has grown and there is just a little bit of the dome bit..I don't know...maybe its sick of my trying to prod it so is hiding.
I don't know why I'm obsessing...if it were high and soft now surely I would have a BFP?...
I'm so stupid..temp drop and all..its obvious its not my month..but can only wish! haha
So shes shows a day early!!
i guess I'm not waiting..thats a bonus!
The body is sosos so cruel!
What can I say..not a lot really other than moan and whine!
M reckons that my body was trying and thats why I was in so much pain with boobs and such this month...thats putting it politely on what he said..hahaha....hes filthy!! LOL
Told him we are doing it every day of my highs and peaks this month....he was not amused...7 days in a row...nooooo...lol...said he was running away with a stick and hankie. LOL
Makes me laugh considering last night he was all over me..and I had pulled a muscle in my shoulder and was agonising pain...yet when it comes to when i want to..well....hahaha...men!
At least the shoulder is okay now..I think!
Anyway..going to get some paracetamal as my tummy hurts,,,,feels like someone is using a wood plane from the inside!!!
Cheers to another cycle!
number 14 I think!!
We have to get there soon...they say 80% in one year are successful....will be one year in January I think..so could I be the next in the queue?
Edited to add...well boss was considering what I said yesterday and an offer has been put on the table....I can either say yes and I assume go this year...or the offer is retracted and my job is still here yet when I do finally leave I get nothing, other than the normal goodbye gift.
So do I accept and hope that I'm going to fall pregnant asap..or do I say thank you..but...
i think its so nice that he is trying to give me something to help me when I leave.
But part of me worries that this will put me in the firing line if I don't accept.
Worst thing is he wants an answer on Monday!!!..he wanted tomorrow but I want to sit down with Michaels folks as they are quite business minded...but thinking about it I would have to say why they are offering me this and because mostly of my ttc and the distance i travel...
Just called a guy who owns two of the flats in the house where my flat is too to see if he wants to buy it...as whatever happens I can't afford that flat if I take the 'offer' or fall pregnant...especially as I have no tenants at the mo.
Hes interested and is viewing it probably now.
Called my managing agents and said he was giving me a quote on the busted window...
Its all a bit scary today..its all moving so fast.
Going to meet with my boss in a bit and see what he thinks...
I so wish that I just got my BFP..then the decision would be 100% easier.