After reading others journals, I thought it would be nice to have something written down to remember my journey when I finally (Hopefully get my BFP!
Never in a million years did I ever think I would try for a baby..never in a million years did I think I would find someone who I wanted to have a baby with, or more so would want one with, to have a baby because we had enough love for an extension of us, to be secure enough in our relationship and to know that each other will support the other in all that having and raising a child will bring.
The ups and downs, highs and lows.
I'm so excited.
I can already picture a dark eyed curly hair beautiful chubby cheeked baby..my first dream with the exact described was last week.
Weird thing was that Michael had left him on the back seat of the car and that he had a sweet wrapper stuck to his cheek when he looked up all cheekily...what do dreams like that mean.
We have been TTC officially for about 3 cycles..on our third now, and this month we have managed to do the dance at the right time thanks to our wonderful friends who had left over oPK..and also getting some cheapies online.
I'm now 10 DPO and AF is expected between Friday and sunday...but praying that we've chased and caught the egg..although if I'm honest I think my body still needs to recover after so many years on the pill...but you never know.
Since the 6/4 I have had night sweats..normally I have 2 in a row before AF turns up on the morning..my breast have increased in size, my veins are thick and blue, and tenderness is exremely uncomfortable..but..these are also symptoms of AF for me on the off month..CM is still creamy and present and I'm sure that normally dries up after O.
Oh how much do you read into everything when you are trying???
Michael and I did a test on Saturday..just because I have been feeling sporadically queasy and having the odd twinge which is not like PMT..so we decided to do one as we were at a Christening on Sunday and I wanted to drink...of course it was way too early to test and it was aBFN..michael couldn't understand that if I knew it was too early why did I waste a tenner..?
He keeps asking about the right time to go to bed to play...and is excited..he isn't one to show his emotions so when he strokes my tummy or jiggles it I know that he is just hoping.
Our friend has all her midwife books n what to eat and what not to eat and we sat in their garden yesterday and Michael was asking all sorts of questions..everyone played down his interest as he does get a bit freaked...it was mentioned that it would be us next and he raised his hand laughing crying "taxi".
We are already play bickering over names....I have only thought of girls names..well one..Ella louise..so beautiful..he has only thought of boys...Vince, Vinnie, Vincent..I say NO..he says NO...I say..well...you're not the one who'll have to carry the nipper and push him through a pinhole...he laughing gags.
Oh I wonder I wonder what will it be at the end of the week.
I'll be in birmingham seeing Pink with a dear friend..so if I am late I will have to wait until I get home..I thought I would test alone, but the way he hung around me in the loo on Saturday and saw the result before me I know he would be so disappointed if I didn't without him...but then, AF may visit before I get home...but if thats the case, then we can start all over again and then maybe it will be May!!
Whatever happens we'll have fun trying..and I guess another month or two adds to the baby savings.
I'm so excited.
I can't believe that we are trying to be parents...its amazing that we are ready to give birth to a new and precious life.