Will I ever be a Mommy?... Yes I will!!
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Thread: Will I ever be a Mommy?... Yes I will!!

  1. #1
    cmcfee
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    Default Will I ever be a Mommy?... Yes I will!!

    Hello everyone! I guess I'm going to start copying & pasting my old journal but it is 6 pages long so it might take a while!

    Here we go...

  2. #2
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-06-24 17:01

    Okay, here is my story. My name is Christina, I'm 28 (29 next month) and my husband and I have been married for about 4.5 years now & we are ttc our 1st child. We've only been really ttc for 2 cycles (which I know is not long at all) now but the torture of waiting and not knowing is driving me crazy. I am totally preoccupied w/getting pregnant! I really thought I was pg. I thought I had all the sign, breast tenderness, fatigue, a bit of nausea AND I was 5 days late (highly unusual for me). But the hpt was negative! So I called to doctor and I was sent for a blood test. Well… I got the results today… it was negative! Which wasn’t a huge surprise because I started on Saturday. But now I don’t know how to count my cycle. For the past year it has consistently been 28-29 days and now I have 33 thrown in there! NOW WHAT DO I DO? I am seeing my doc on Wednesday just to make sure nothing is wrong. If anyone has some advice for me I'd really appreciate it.

    Thanks,
    Christina

  3. #3
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-03 16:39

    I'm trying to keep a positive attitude! O should be here is the next few days. So dh and I are having every other day starting yesterday. I hope this is the month but I know it will happen when it is supposed to.

    Baby dust to all of us who are ttc!




  4. #4
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-15 16:43

    CD #24!

    Okay... I haven’t been writing here much because I’ve been trying not to obsess about TTC. But that is pretty much out the window as I’m on this website and others all the time!

    I really hope I’m pg but I have a feeling (or lack of a feeling) that I’m not. I just think that with last cycle being messed up (AF 5 days late) from stressing that everything is not back on track yet.

    DH and really want a baby! I just found out that another friend is pg (that makes about 6 friends who are expecting) and I’m SO happy for her but a bit jealous too. I think... why can’t that be me. Sometimes I think I will never be pg because it seems so unreal to me and I can’t even imagine what it feels like. But then I think, how can DH and I not be parents! He’ll be a wonderful father and I’m afraid I might not be able to give him that. I know it is way too soon to be thinking like this. We’ve technically been ttc since April 2001 but be just stopped using any birth control but weren’t tacking anything. If it happened, great! Then in January we were going to really start trying but I had to get a rubella vaccine so we couldn’t try for 3 months. So really this only our 3 cycle ttc and I know many of the women (and some men) have been ttc for so much longer than. I really feel for them and hope they are soon expecting. I just need to convince myself of what I’ve told friends... I’ll get pg when God wants me to. He has a plan for me and I need to trust in what he has in store for us.

    I guess I’ve rambled on enough about my insecurities. If I’m not pg this cycle, I going to start charting my temp and get TCOYF.

  5. #5
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-17 15:13

    CD #26 –

    Well... I still have a few more days of waiting. I’m really hoping that AF stay away but I’m afraid she’ll be rearing her ugly head. If she does dare to show her face, I’m going to start charting my temp and get TCOYF to help me have a better understanding of what is going on with my body. Ughhh... I’m starting to feel a bit crampy so it looks like no March baby for us.

    I just found out that another one of my friends is pg and while I’m happy for her I can’t help but be a little jealous too. Why can’t that be me?!? My sister is pg (EDD Feb. 9th) and I am SO, SO happy for her. She had a m/c in January at about 14 weeks! It was really hard for her, had to have a D&C. And so far everything looks great! I also have about 5 friends who are expecting as well (2 are due this month! ) and a couple of cousins too, so it seems as if baby dust is in the air or something. I'm constantly preoccupied with getting pg and babies.

    I guess I should get back to work now and stop obsessing about it! I'm trying to stay positive!

  6. #6
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-18 14:37

    CD #27 –

    Still waiting, AAHHHH! I can’t decide if AF is going to show or not.

    Finding out that I’m pg would be the best birthday gift I could as for. (today is my birthday... the last one in my 20’s... aahhh!) So pleeaassseee let me have a BFP!

    I did have a strange dream last night... I was taking care of a baby but it was a baby MONKEY not a baby person. That’s not really what I had in mind! DH think I’m a bit crazy but that is nothing new.

    Still waiting and trying to stay positive!

  7. #7
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-19 10:18

    CD #28 –

    Looks like no March baby for me! I’m having brownish, pinkish spotting, which I usually get about a day or so before AF actually starts. And I’ve been having breast tenderness for the past couple of day. These are the main PMS symptoms I usually have. The other two are tiredness and headaches, which I’ve been having also but I just got new glasses yesterday so that may be contributing to my headache.

    So I guess its onto another month of ttc. I’m so bummed! I’m almost in tears right now and I don’t know why I’m so upset because I really didn’t think I was pg this month. I guess I was still hoping it might be possible.

    I’m going to buy TCOYF and start charting. Does anyone know what day of my cycle I should start taking my temp? And DH is going to get a gift of boxers but he isn’t going to like it too much because he says that he doesn’t like to be that “free” but he’ll deal with it.

  8. #8
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-21 10:38

    CD# 2 -

    Well... AF is in full swing! I had really bad cramps yesterday, had to take some Motrin, so they didn't last long. I usually get pretty bad cramps the day AF starts and 2 cycles ago they were so bad I had to go home from work. AF seems to be pretty heavy this month. Maybe because last month it was kind of short, 2 days of heavy flow and about a day of spotting and that was it, it is usually about 5 days long.

    I bought TCOYF and a thermometer on Friday so I could start charting this cycle. I'm trying to figure out when is the best time for me to take my temperature. My DH works strange hours, 8pm-4am, so I usually wake up for a minute when he gets home at about 4:30am. I will usually of had at least 3 hours of sleep at this point so I have been taking it then. If I wait until I usually get up (about 6:30am) I won't have been asleep again for at least 3 hours so I don't think that would be accurate. But I'm not sure if because this is not the time that I usually get it that it will affect my readings or not at least it will be consistent.

    I was kind of depressed about AF showing up (uninvited!) so I ate a box of chocolate (it was a small box so I don't feel as bad and DH ate a few too) and I want out last night with some friends and had a couple of beers. I guess it may me feel a little better but I'm still blue! I just feel like I'm in a constant state of morning for a child that hasn't ever even existed yet. And I feel like it gets worse every month. Hopefully this waiting will make it that much sweeter when it finally does happen (this is me trying to stay positive) for us.

    Please God, help me to understand and accept your plan for Daryl and I!

  9. #9
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-21 19:15

    Still CD# 2 -

    AF this month is quite a whopper! Very heavy flow, cramps aren't so bad today but yesterday were really bad. Yuck! DH said that maybe it is because this month is going to be your last one for a while. I like his plan!

  10. #10
    cmcfee
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    Posted: 2002-07-22 16:22

    CD #3 –

    I’m feeling a bit better today (at least no cramps) but AF is still heavier than normal but starting to slow down a bit.

    I am so preoccupied with ttc and babies!! I check this website (and others) ALL THE TIME! My new thing is charting. Maybe that will help keep me focused (or it will just add fuel to the fire!). I think I’m losing it... babies and pregnant women were popping up everywhere... including my sister, I have 6 friends who are pregnant! Two of them are due NEXT WEEK! Don’t get me wrong... I’m so happy for them but I’m a bit jealous too. All but two of them got pg on the 1st try!

    One friend was trying for a long time and was told the only way she could get pg was by IVF because both of her tubes were completely blocked by scar tissue. She was about ready to start the process but her cycle was of course late again. As a formality, the RE said they had to do a pg test and then they could give her meds to start her cycle. But much to her surprise... she was pg! The RE is still amazed as to how this happened! But it did and she is about to have her baby any day now! I like to tell this story because it gives me hope and helps me keep things in perspective because I haven’t gone through even half of what she did and look where she is at. So if anyone is reading this... I hope it give you hope too!

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