Well here it is, 6 years of TTC and still no little one to hold in my arms. I figured it was time for me to start a journal and have a place to vent my frustrations!!!
Let me give you a little background......
I am Jaime, 28 years old, and I am married to Lee, 23 years old. I know, I totally robbed the cradle but I am telling you, younger is the way to go!!! But anywho, we have only been married for 6 months but Lee is not my first marriage. He is actually my third (long horrible stories which I will keep to myself). But he is the love of my life and he loves me with all of his heart despite my past!!!
All in all though, I have been TTC for 6 years total in my life. I have PCOS and endometriosis which is the biggest part of our problems. Also my DH has low motility which is the other half of our puzzle. We are currently seeing a new RE and he has me on Glucophage. We go to see him again next week and we will see where we go from here.
The most frustrating part of our TTC is not the process itself or even the BFN every month. It is the fact that I am a Sailor's wife and my Sailor is about to leave for 6 months!!! 6 months of no TTC, unless of course it is the right time of the month if I get to go see him at one of his port visits!!!!
Sometimes it feels like I will never have the one thing I dream of all the time, the one thing I long for.....to feel a baby growing inside me, to hold our baby in my arms and feel the joy of being a mother.
Someday, oh I hope someday.......
OK, so it has been a few days since I wrote last but it has been pretty crazy i totally forgot about!!! So here I am on CD18 and it is so depressing knowing that this won't be our month (again). But at least we know have some idea at what we are looking at as far as TTC. DH is going to start taking the Fertility Blend as soon as he is done with his antibiotics and hopefully when he gets back from his deployment, there will be an increase in his numbers on his SA. The doctor is finally getting me situated which is good but now we have to get DH taken care of. I am hoping and praying that his SA on the 15th will have better results and that we won't have to proceed with IUI or IVF. Lord knows we can't afford that right now!!!!
But anywas, everyone has been debating all day about the election today. I personally am not voting because I don't like either candidate. I know that is nuts and all I have heard is lectures about voting but I just can't bring myself to vote for either one!!!!!
It will be interesting to see who will be President.
Gotta go work....will write more later!!!
Ok so today I am having a day, I am getting moodier and moodier as the night goes on and I don't know why. Lee and I were messing around earlier and he grabbed my boob and it hurt so bad. I don't know why but I am not going to try and figure it out. Honestly, I think I have given up on TTC this month. We haven't bd hardly at all and I am just not in the mood. I think my doctor;s appointment got me really down!!! Who knows!!!
But I am about to head to bed, I will write again tomorrow.........
It has been a while since I have written but things have been so crazied!!! With Lee leaving in 4 days, I am so depressed it is unreal. I don't seelp and I have no appetite and I cry at the drop of a hat. You would think I was pg with all the mood swings I am having!! We found out from the doc that Lee's sperm count is normal so that is a great sign for the future. We possibly have a chance to get pg before he leaves since I should ovulate sometime this weekend. I am sure hoping and praying that it happens. But if it doesn't, no big deal. We have some much time to have children. And if the day never comes, then we will adopt!!!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have plenty to be thankful for!!! I am so excited about spending the day cooking!! I haven't done that is so long!!!
Well, I guess I better go try and get some sleep so I can get up and get the turkey on!!!