GGGGGRRRrrrrrr ........ I will start again! (just lost this enrty out of sheer absent mindedness).
I am pretty certain that The old witch will vist by the end of the week. If not tomorrow! All I want to do today is cry. My tempretures have been slowly taking a nice even nose dive. And all the Preg tests have been negative even the really sensitve ones. So if She hasn't arrived by the weekend and my temps go back up I will test again but at the moment I don't see the point.
I just rang the Dr's and they haven't got my results back yet but think they maybe in this afternoon. I told the recptionist that I was just being impatiant and she that was fine I could call later today she was still going to be there. But the chances of getting her this afternoon is like one in three. But we will see. If I don't go to work I will ring, If I go I will ring tomorrow am.
I feel so frustrated I just want to cry. Or do I just want to cry becuase I am in so much pain today? Either way I just want to cry
I think I over did ysterday at the gym and at hydrotherapy. But last night John said to me that I was really serious about this gym thing. I said to him that I am. And he said that he is starting to notice the difference already in my face, it is already becoming less puffy and my second chin is getting smaller! I guess It has to start coming of somewhere. I mean I would love it more if it was coming of my thighs or butt. Than you can'thave every thing.
Well I rang my dr's office back late this afternoon and they still didn't have my test results back. So the really nice girl went chasing them for me, and said she would give me a call back later after she had got them checked, about 40 minutes later my Dr rings me back, yes that's right my DR rings me! My progestorne was not good. it was only 2 so no I didn't O this month yet. He now wants me to redo the test in two weeks form the last test so saturday week. So that is what i am at very lost very confused and a DH who is not much better. Can I have my nice big rock now to crawl up under????
Not too much has changed around here! still haven't ovulated, so still not prgnant!
Dh and I had some more D&M last night about having a family and telling his familly that we are ttc. I think they should know now and he still doesn't think they need to know yet. I want to tell them becuase they are very inteligant people and are wonderful support for both DH and I. So if anything were to happen unfavorabley they would definately like to know so that they could be there for both of us. I don't just want to tell them that we are trying to have children when we are pregnant.
So I think we are going to tell them this weekend. I hope we are. We again spoke about what our options are and how far we would like to go with medical help when it comes to ttc. I explained that I would be willing to take medication that brought on ovulation and that was about it. I am not sure what our other options are yet. But I know that withour limited funds that IVF is just not an option.
The heat Is really getting to me today so I am not going to the gym but I am going bowling tonight (airconditioning!!!!)
Well the weekend was an emotional one! Crying whilst driving is not fun but hey what the heck some one has to do the driving.
Dh was beening very selfish and a "mouse" on saturday morning. He dosen't realise that I go out of my way to help him and yet he still continues to lie to me! Than when I cronfrount him he either tells more lies or won't explain himself. I know that they are not big lies but he still lies.
I want to just scream and rant and rave and hope that it will help. I know that it is not the answer. I let my anger at DH out infrount of his father last night and I really don't care. I explained to him that I was dropping him of at home taking his dad to the station and than going to my mums to take the pool key back. I turned in to our street and he asked why I was taking him home first. I just let fly with the classic "Don't you listen to me?" OPPs maybe I should have been more gental with FIL in the car but some times it is a little hard to take when you have run around all wekend for them and they can't be bothered listening to you.
So you guessed it not much is happening on the ttc front!!
Still the ILS don't know and all I want to do is just tell them but since I married a mouse I just have to live with his fear of his parents views.
Well DH did his SA test today! He accutuly did it, I was so proud of him. For the last two weeks he has been trying to work out how to get the sample in the little jar and I must admit I was very curious too. yet I am still none the wiser. But he did complain that the jar was a little to small. Yes I do forgive him for boasting as it related to penis size and not fuild amount. He locked himself away with the visual materials he needed and did the task so I could than just get in the car and take it into the lab. I feel a little left out that he didn't ask me to help him with the task but I think I am over it as he did the task and was very ok with doing it for us!
As a big thank-you I brought him a chocolate bar that he was not to share with me.
We are doing better with our relation ship in the last two days I have gotton over my anger with him and bcome more loving again.
All I wnat now is for the witch to show her face so we can move on with this cycle. As this is the longest cycle I have had in about 8 years (since going on BCP). (currently on CD33). I don't have any other signs of her apperance other than oily skin and scalp which is just driving me bonkers.
Oh well we have a house guest arriving soon must be off.
What a day it has been. I had some really shocking sleep last night due to heat. I have been feeling the heat really really bad today, but I also have been so so busy. We started looking at houses today mainly what was in today paper but we are slowly getting an idea about how the market is going and moving. I went off and had my second blood test this cycle to see if I hae O'd yet or not. But there is still no sign of AF and it is really getting frustrating. Here two weeks ago I was praying that AF would hold off long anough so I could have the first blood test and here I am two weeks later still no Af and I have a second blood test for the same thing. When will this ever end. I think the women at the Lab are getting to know me. They know I don't lie when I tell them I am hard to bleed. Maybe Af has the same approach as my veins! I surely hope not!
To night though we are having to look after my 6 nearly 7 year old neice so her mother can go out with a new boyfriend for dinner. I don't really like this guy as I had a relationship with him that was on agian off again for a number of years. He is not the sort of person who I would call portentail brother-in-law material. Even my neice thinks that he is no good, as she told her mother not to let him the car when she went to pick him up. All I could do was smile. Children know a lot more than we give them credit for some times.
Well my world has been turned upside down since my last post! More than likely when I was writting my last post we were robbed at home. Some one came into our house and stole My handbag and my husbands wallet. I was in my study on here and DH was watching TV with my neice. We didn't hear a thing. By the time we realised, on sunday we had been robbed they had emptied our every day savings accounts and tried to get cash off our credit cards. So AGAIN no sleep has really been had since saturday night.
But On the brighter side I have my Dr's appointment tommorrow. And I am looking forward to that and getting my test results back. I have set myself up for the worst I mean My week can only get better right? I am already tiered and emotional so a good cry at the Dr's may be all I need to pick myself up again.
My exaughsten must be catching up with me as I slept really really well last night but it could have been the amazing BDing that was done right on sleep time too. Going to the gym has definately improved thing in the bed room if nothing else.
I went to the Dr's today and things were not as we hoped. I still haven't ovualted and more than likely not going to ovulate just yet. He gave me a refferal to a Gnyo and I can't get into see her for 3 1/2 months so I will try and see if I can get into see anther gyno sooner. I hate waiting.
I got another referral today from my Gp. I forgot to put in my post yesterday that my progestorne was only 3. I have an appointment now to see the new gyno on the 14th March. But just for good measure I get to meet her before my appointment at the Young Arthitis support group morning tea on the saturday before, so that may make things either a litle wierd or really good.
Feeling very tiered and hot today. I am still to scared to open up our house as we have not heard from the owner yet. We have asked for some kind of screans to be put up around the back of the house.
I am getting veryfrustrated today as I am now on CD45 and this is my longest cycle in 8 years. I have never been like clock work but even still It has never been this long since I started taking the pill. I have had several breaks from taking the pill over the years when I wasn't in a realtionship for a long periods of time. I think I may have O'd a week ago but I am still not sure. I got very excited lsat night when I visited the loo before bed to discover I had some spotting whilst at work. But it has stopped . I was hoping it was AF starting but I guess I am not that lucky. But if I O'd when I think I O'd it could be a good sign. But who knows I give up on trying to work out my body! Maybe it was just a cyst bursting but who knows. I just feel so frustrated and cheated, I want new Ovaries!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!