Awesome new phase (sarcasm) and a ?

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Kayla1981's picture
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Awesome new phase (sarcasm) and a ?

We've hit a little bump in the road recently. I've always nursed Jordan to sleep at bedtime, for the couple of night wakings she has and at nap time. In the past week she will nurse to sleep but cry as soon as I put her in her crib. I have found that I just have to lay her down and walk out or it gets so much worse. She will not let me just rock her and she is done nursing so the only alternative is to sit in her room with her which is more upsetting to her. She usually will not cry very hard, or if she does it doesn't last more than a couple of minutes. At most it has gone on about 10 minutes? I hate walking out when she wants me but I don't really feel like I have a choice. I'm sure it's just another phase we will go through, don't you think?

While we are on the subject of sleep, I am really ready to have her night weaned. She is still up twice every night and since she is 14 months I know she is fine nutritionally speaking. I still plan to nurse a few times a day (including nap time and bedtime) but how do I go about gently weaning her at night? I have a lovey for her but she could really care less about it. I know she might still wake some at night but I am hopeful that this will help move her in the direction of sleeping all night. Or am I only kidding myself? She still hasn't earned the title of "good sleeper" but it's bound to happen eventually. Like in her teenage years.

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For settling down to sleep, both my kids cry very briefly when you put them down, and then go to sleep. Its more out of frustration that I've put them in bed, and because they are tired, you know? Sounds the same with Jordan. I think, if she is falling asleep, that she's likely fussing because she is tired and she'll gradually fuss less and less as you put her down.

As for night weaning, with both my kids, I gradually increased the length of time between them waking and me going in. I found that pretty quickly, they would just go back to sleep for the first waking, until they were skipping that one. I started with 2 minutes and increased to 5, 10, 15 and by 15 they were out. Same for the second waking. My kids do still wake at night but they get a sippy cup and tucked back in. With DJ, when he fought night weaning, we started giving him a sippy of water at night, if he was thirsty. It worked pretty well!

Good luck!

Nicole

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I think that she'll get used to the bedtime routine and the crying will be limited or stop soon. She probably is just tired. As long as she's settling down fairly quickly and not hysterical, I think you're fine.

As for night weaning, when I weaned Daphne, I would say "the milk is night night, it will be back in the morning" and I would rock her and lay her back down. It was rough for a night or two, but then she got it and after about a week the night waking was just an occasional thing where she just needed reassurance and then would go right back down.

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Nicole - That's interesting. I haven't heard of using that technique but I like the idea of it being gradual. So do you increase the amount of time before you go in regardless of if you actually ended up going in to nurse anyway? In other words, if you waited 2 minutes and they were still crying then you went in to nurse but then after a night (or a few nights) you would wait 5 minutes and keep increasing no matter what? I hope my question made sense.

Joy - I think I'm nervous about how to handle night wakings once she is night weaned. I feel like right now I've got this magical way of settling her and once I am not nursing at night anymore, I don't know how I will handle her wakings. I'm sure I am over thinking it.

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I agree, I think her phase is just something a lot of kids do. Andrew gets fussy for a few minutes too, but I've learned a difference between his "I'm fussy but will settle down" cry and his "NOOO, I'm not going to do this" cry.

As for night feedings. Andrew held onto that FOREVER! I did what Nicole did too, gradually increase the time I went in and decreased the amount I would let him eat. That worked well. On days he was insistant on something, I would give him a sippy with water in it only. He learned pretty quick that wasn't too exciting and most nights now will not wake for anything. It was a gradual process to get Drew to STTN. He;s 18 months now and still, any tooth or milestone sets us back. Good luck! Smile

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Yes, I waited even if I was going to nurse. Not for the second feeding, until they'd weaned off the first one, but just gradually.

You'll find a new routine. We like reading together before bed now and we snuggle and talk about what the best parts of the day were. Its mostly me saying...do you remember doing this? and that? but it works.

Nicole

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You've got great advice already, Kayla. How have the past couple nights been?

I was going to suggest just going in and gently getting her back to sleep. With M I'd rock him, sing to him. I remember it was two nights and then he just didn't wake up anymore unless it was a tooth issue. M2 still gets up once (I don't count waking up before 10pm getting up during the night just since I'm usually still awake or half awake knowing he'll need to nurse once more) and sometimes twice during the middle of the night but will be starting rice cereal soon so maybe that once a night feeding will start to disappear. Blum 3

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Thanks everyone. For the first time in a while she didn't cry when I put her down for her nap and again didn't cry at bedtime. I hope she is done with that but we will see how the next few days go. I haven't made any changes yet. I'm still nursing her to sleep and still going in twice a night. I keep wimping out. I'm going to have to give myself a pep talk and know that I'm really ready to make the change before I start. Otherwise I will give in and undo any progress we possibly make. Sometimes I think I'm ready and other times I feel like I will wait... just one more week. It's like dieting. I'll do it tomorrow, lol.

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Sad They crying isn't getting any better. It's actually gotten worse. Now she starts out screaming and may settle down to just crying in a minute or two. Why is it getting worse??

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Do you make changes now? If so it might be worse because she remembers that it wasn't always this way and is protesting the new changes. Don't worry and stick to your plan. She'll learn to adapt.

If you haven't made changes, maybe she is getting over tired? Or maybe she is using this as a tactic to get out of bed time all togeter? Or maybe she's teething? These kiddos are pretty smart, it doesn't take them long to realize they can get a mile when given an inch. Hang in there and do what you feel is best for you guys in the long run, even if that might be a bit tough now.

If nothing else, I can tell you eventually it does get better. :bigarmhug:

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No changes at naptime or bedtime. Last night was my first attempt at partially night weaning her but that is of course unrelated since this has been going on for weeks. I nurse her to sleep, same as always. Befor she would let me lay her down and she would stir just a little but didn't fuss. Now she starts protesting the minute I lean over to lay her down. Then she starts screaming. :(. I thought standing my ground would make her realize it's time to sleep and I really don't know how else to go about it.

As far as the night weaning, I rocked her for an hour last night with two failed attempts to lay her down. Then my husband rocked her for an hour and she did cry for a couple of minutes when he laid her down but then she babbled a bit and fell asleep. I am sure she was exhausted.

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I think your best line of defence is going to be consistancy. I find they cope better when they know what to expect. Whether your plan is weaning slowly or going cold turkey. Come up with a game plan and do your best to stick to it.

I know it's tough. And some days don't work out like planned. And you will have slip backs (I actually was up with Andrew for 3 hours in the middle of the night last night- for no apparent reason.) But try your best to be consistant.