Thread: Fears?

Do any of you have kids that are afraid to take risks? Sarafina was a late crawler and walker because she was afraid of it. She would fall down (hit her nose on the carpet when trying to crawl or just fall if she attempted to let go of something for walking) and she would stop trying it. Right now, she will only go down our one step in front of our house if we hold her hand. At daycare, the threshold to enter the house is a little uneven and she will either get down and crawl over it or she will wait until someone grabs her hand. If we try to get her to try it with encouragment, she will stand and cry or scream. She just won't do it. I try not to push too hard. She doesn't need to feel pressure, yet, she needs to learn these things developmentally. She is physically capable, but her mind won't let her do it, kwim?

If you have dealt with this at all, what have you done to help your child overcome their fears in a positive way?

I have the opposite problem. Fearless kids! They climb up everything, jump off everything. Last week Andrew swan dived off our sofa, head first into the ground. He cried, got up and did it again. I wish he would learn a little respect for cetain things.

I don't really have any advice for you. I would probably just ignore it. My thoughts being, if you gave it any attention, she might take longer to get over it. I would let her crawl over things she didn't want to walk over and go slow where she needs to. Sooner or later, she'll feel more comfortable and realize that crawling and waiting for a hand slows her down too much.

Hopefully someone else will have some tried and true advice.

Originally Posted by Lavender444

I don't really have any advice for you. I would probably just ignore it. My thoughts being, if you gave it any attention, she might take longer to get over it. I would let her crawl over things she didn't want to walk over and go slow where she needs to. Sooner or later, she'll feel more comfortable and realize that crawling and waiting for a hand slows her down too much.

I think this is great advice. The more we push Deacon to do something the less willing he is to do it.

Aiden will not do something till he KNOWS he can do it. Which means as soon as he starts something new, he takes off! Pretty sure he'll just stand up one day and run. lol. I try not to press the issue. I'll do things to encourage him (hey, come get your favorite toy!), but first sign of being upset I'll stop and leave it alone for a day or two.

Now if only everybody was as cautious as these kids!

I am in the same boat as Amber. Jordan is fearless and I am constantly rescuing her from dangerous situations. I think some of it is just a phase but I also think it may be a reflection of their personality. Sarafina may just be a cautious child and you may be thankful for that as she gets into the teenage years. I agree that you should either ignore it or just be as positive and encouraging as possible. One thing about toddlers is they certainly have opinions and lots of will power!

I know you all are right. I just feel like I am causing too much dependence by allowing her to hold my hand when she is physically capable. Don't get me wrong, I don't ever force her to do it without my help. However, I am just not sure she is going to be willing to do it on her own.

Our other issue is that her anxiety about this stuff spreads to Keira, who is more of a risk taker. So, Keira was attempting the stairs all on her own (on her feet going forward, not crawling down backwards on her belly) a few weeks ago, but saw that Sarafina would either still go on her belly or demand that we pick her up, and now Keira wants the same treatment. I cannot really blame her, but she is just as capable and not as scared, so she needs to do it.

Believe me, I don't mind that Sarafina is cautious. I think it can definitely be a benefit to her later in life (as long as it doesn't turn into debilitating anxiety, which is my other fear for her). She is just such a gentle child and she is super sensitive. She needs a lot of comfort and touch from others. She loves it when people hold her. I just want to make sure that I do the right thing and push her gently when she needs it instead of enabling her. I know, I know, how do you enable a baby, right? I am probably overthinking this.

I think you've received lots of great advice! I think it's okay to be a little cautious. She'll probably get over it when she's super comfortable to go down that stair. It might just take a little longer, especially since she was a late crawler/walker.

Both my kids were late walkers...Alicia at 16 months, DJ at 19. DJ still goes down the stairs on his belly or will wait for a hand. Alicia is totally capable, but sometimes wants a hand or to be carried. I am fine with it. Soon enough they will be charging up and down the stairs like elephants.

As for Sarafina's caution, I think that she may get over it as she gets older. How is she at communicating? Alicia is also a late talker, she is just beginning to communicate well, and I'm finding her caution is getting less and less as she can tell us what is bothering her about a situation. Its amazing to me what she finds scary...yesterday it was a merrry-go-round horse...scary eyes. Who knew? Once she was able to tell me and I could deal with the fear, she got over it. I would continue to offer gentle support and encouragement, and wait it out a bit. She is still very young.

Nicole

Originally Posted by mommyvolc

Both my kids were late walkers...Alicia at 16 months, DJ at 19. DJ still goes down the stairs on his belly or will wait for a hand. Alicia is totally capable, but sometimes wants a hand or to be carried. I am fine with it. Soon enough they will be charging up and down the stairs like elephants.

As for Sarafina's caution, I think that she may get over it as she gets older. How is she at communicating? Alicia is also a late talker, she is just beginning to communicate well, and I'm finding her caution is getting less and less as she can tell us what is bothering her about a situation. Its amazing to me what she finds scary...yesterday it was a merrry-go-round horse...scary eyes. Who knew? Once she was able to tell me and I could deal with the fear, she got over it. I would continue to offer gentle support and encouragement, and wait it out a bit. She is still very young.

Nicole

Both of my girls were early talkers, but their articulation is not very clear. So, Sarafina will tell me what is bothering her, but I cannot understand it. It is so frustrating for her. I plan to bring that up with the ped at their next appt.