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  1. #1
    Mega Poster Linzwigz's Avatar
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    Default Got a sec?

    I just need to have a little pitty party for myself for a sec if you don't mind. Ok I want to TTC bad! But DH doesn't want to. Its been slowly creaping up on me these last few months. DH keeps sending me mixed message about having another baby. Sometimes he acts like he might want another one soon but other times he just flat out tells me he doesn't want anymore. Its frustrating. In August DH started a new job making ALOT more money so now money isn't an issue but he complains that our house is to small for a third child (which it is but we are kind of stuck here for a while). Before the new job he made it seem like to me that the main reason for waiting was money. So I thought new job = baby
    IDK, Gage and Claire will be THREE in Febuary and I really don't want there to be larger than a 5 year gap between them and the next one. And with our fertility past we need to get a move on it in order for that not to happen. DH says he agrees that he doesn't want a large gap but still doesn't even really want to talk about TTC again. Currently I'm on medicine that if I were to get pregnant on it would be harmful to the baby so it would take me 3 months or more to get onto meds that it would be safe to get pg on so when(if) he ever decides he is ready it will take me 3 months or so for my body to even be ready to get pg again. And to top it off I got on FB today and a cousin annoenced her pregnancy (I am happy for them but it just brought back some bad memories for me because when she got pg with her first we were in the midst of IFV with G and C)

    Ok I'm done with my vent. I just need to tell someone who would understand maybe.
    Wife to Rick since 10/7/2006
    Mommy to Gage and Claire 2/5/2009

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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    I do understand the frustration of not being the same page as DH when it comes to TTC. My situation was different though because this was years ago when we didn't agree on when to start TTC our first. I suspected we would have problems and I wanted to start the process and DH wanted to wait in case we got pregnant right away. It was really frustrating, especially because there is not really a compromise when it comes to children. For the most part. So I had to wait until he was ready which made me angry at times. We had many, many talks about it.

    My best advice is to try and communicate as openly as possible and ask DH to do the same. Big hugs to you Lindsay, I know it must be upsetting. Just know that you can always come here when you are upset because we will always be willing to listen.

    l
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



  3. #3
    Posting Addict Cali26's Avatar
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    I can imagine how frustrated you must be feeling right now. I have no advice but would like to offer you many, many hugs!
    Mommy to 2 amazing little boys!

    Angel babies 6/9/07 & 11/16/07


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    Posting Addict Jenn0113's Avatar
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    I completely understand! Had this pg not happened spontaneously I would be in your exact shoes. I had to convince Justin to TTC with Deacon and even then he wasn't ready. Then when I was ready to TTC after Deacon he wasn't. He would say that he was happy with our family like it was and didn't care if we had more than one child.

    Its a hard place to be in. I hope you guys get on the same page soon.
    Jenn & Jus 1.13.06
    Deacon: 11.11.08
    Kara: 12.27.11


  5. #5
    Mega Poster Linzwigz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn0113 View Post
    I completely understand! Had this pg not happened spontaneously I would be in your exact shoes. I had to convince Justin to TTC with Deacon and even then he wasn't ready. Then when I was ready to TTC after Deacon he wasn't. He would say that he was happy with our family like it was and didn't care if we had more than one child.

    Its a hard place to be in. I hope you guys get on the same page soon.
    This is ot but I just noticed you due date is my b-day
    Wife to Rick since 10/7/2006
    Mommy to Gage and Claire 2/5/2009

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    Posting Addict Lavender444's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry. It has to be really difficult feeling like your family is not complete and not having DH on board.

    I hope you guys are able to find a solution! :bighugs:

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    Posting Addict alwayssmile's Avatar
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    DH and I know we want another, but the timing we're having issues with. One month he's all on board with us going full force TTC and the next he asks if I'm charting to avoid. We're NTNP currently which really doesn't mean much since we could probably do this for years with nothing. lol.

  8. #8
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    That is hard, Lindsay. Talk to us anytime. I don't really have any advice to offer but just know so many of us understand the feelings you are experiencing. I'm so very grateful for my lo's and love them to pieces but sometimes think I'd love to add another and that isn't an option. And I have no idea what it is like to have twins but even though you have two you experienced all of the stages from birth on at once. I could see me wanting to have a third as well. The hard thing is with space, money or whatever the circumstance - if people always waited for all of those things to fall into place perfectly they could be waiting a while. DH's sometimes don't get that. Sometimes I feel that they look at things from the monetary, home aspect more so (until the LO arrives) while the moms look at things from the time, nurturing, fulfillment, family aspect from before conception.

    Julie

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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Readyforbaby1 View Post
    That is hard, Lindsay. Talk to us anytime. I don't really have any advice to offer but just know so many of us understand the feelings you are experiencing. I'm so very grateful for my lo's and love them to pieces but sometimes think I'd love to add another and that isn't an option. And I have no idea what it is like to have twins but even though you have two you experienced all of the stages from birth on at once. I could see me wanting to have a third as well. The hard thing is with space, money or whatever the circumstance - if people always waited for all of those things to fall into place perfectly they could be waiting a while. DH's sometimes don't get that. Sometimes I feel that they look at things from the monetary, home aspect more so (until the LO arrives) while the moms look at things from the time, nurturing, fulfillment, family aspect from before conception.

    I said the exact same thing to my friend yesterday!! Her husband will not start TTC until they have a new car, new home and they finish their series if tests for architecture. I remember Jason being the same way. He felt like A, B, and C had to be just as he planned before we could even try to start conceiving.
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



  10. #10
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    I'm sorry Lindsay! It is hard when you and DH aren't on the same page. I too had to convince DH that we were having a child...it was a hard part in our relationship as he was adimantly against and I was adimantly for having kids. It took a lot of talking before we got on the same page...and even then it wasn't until she arrived and came home from the hospital that he began to be happy about her. There were a lot of underlying fears for him...perhaps the same is true for your DH? Feel free to come and talk anytime,
    Nicole

    me and DH 09/06/05
    Alicia Marie 07/06/08
    David John Courtenay 14/10/09
    Angel 4/8/07
    DSDs Portia 2001 Lexi 1999 Cassondra 1989

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