Thanks for letting me post and annoy you to death. Sorry.
I had a total epiphany while I was at Isaiah's Strings concert on Thursday. He plays violin. I have never seen him so lost and confused before ever. He was very nervous and ended up rather disoriented on stage. He has played in two other strings concerts and has been in 3 Christmas music programs. This did not happen at any of those concerts.
Anyway, it occured to me that he is really having some issues with anxiety. He presents with some classic signs, but also he is a tad atypical. However, the more I put all the pieces together, the more it makes sense. It just kills me that I didn't recognize it before this year. I think his outgoing personality and how he keeps a lot of this to himself made it really hard to detect. Here is what I am seeing:
1 -Constantly seeking reassurance
2- Dwelling on real or perceived misbehavior
3 -Saying his brain does not work
4 - Wanting to please and worrying that he will do something wrong
5-Freezing up on academic tasks he perceives as difficult or beyond his skill level
6-Worrying that other kids will "tattle" on him, particularly one boy in his class
7- Restlessness and inattention because of ruminations
8- Irriitability and anger -- this has gotten worse since the start of second grade.
We have an appt with the pediatrician on Thursday morning and a meeting with his teacher on Thursday afternoon. I am debating looking for a good counselor, but I am not sure if we want to work on things like thought stopping, reframing, and relaxation techniques at home first. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts.
I also found out from Craig's sister that Isaiah's cousin has panic attacks and struggles some with anxiety. My mom and my grandfather both have struggled with it as well. When talking with my husband, it seems like both of us also struggle with it some. I do a lot of thought stopping and deep breathing when my anxiety gets too high. It doesn't happen often for me, thankfully.
I'm glad you've figured it out. The sooner he learns to deal effectively with anxiety, the better he will function in the long term.
me and DH 09/06/05
Alicia Marie 07/06/08
David John Courtenay 14/10/09
DSDs Portia 2001 Lexi 1999 Cassondra 1989
He just breaks my heart! I hate that he feels this way. I just want to hug your little guy and tell him he's a good kid!!
You're such a great mom, Mel. For helping him through all this.
I'm glad you've discovered what may be the underlying cause here!!! GL with the intervention You are doing a great job supporting him!!!
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys!
Angel babies 6/9/07 & 11/16/07
It's so great that you are so in tune with him to see these things. It sucks that kids so young have to deal with anxiety but it definitely happens. I was one of those kids. The good news is that my parents were able to help me through it and while it never goes away, I think you learn how to deal with it better the older you get and the more aware of it you are. Hope this is the beginning of things turning around!!!
I'm not annoyed by you! That's what we're here for! I'm glad you're so in tune with Isaiah. I hope your pediatrician has some good suggestions and the meeting with his teacher goes as well as it can.
Have you started using the other techniques you were going to try for writing? The private blog? If so, how's that going? Does he like it?
Ashley- Yes, we have. He loves the blog. He spent a 1/2 hour on it on Friday. He has also been writing in his journal, but he struggles more with that. At least he is picking it up and using it. That is all I want right now.
He told Craig that he didn't my want to go to school tomorrow when he was putting him to bed tonight.