Major snag in nap time
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Thread: Major snag in nap time

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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    Default Major snag in nap time

    Up until now I nursed Jordan to sleep. I know all the books say I used to do things the "wrong" way but I'm pretty adamant that I did what was necessary for all of us. I had to do what worked and then I stuck with it because we were all happy.

    Now that I've had to wean Jordan it's really put a snag in naps. Bedtime is working okay with Jason rocking her until she is relaxed or asleep and she might fuss for about 10-20 seconds when he lays her down but that's it. Nap time is a whole different story. I've been trying to rock her to sleep and either she just won't go to sleep or she gets to sleep but wakes and panics the second I lay her down. I've tried picking her back up, rocking her all over again with the same results. I've tried sitting in her room and even laying on the floor but she just cries for me and will not lay down. A couple of times I walked out and she might have cried and then settle to fussing and then went to sleep on her own but it's happened twice or three times at most. Other times she just gets more and more upset and I can't leave her like that for long. I max out around 10 to 15 minutes before I have to go back in to comfort her but that means picking her up and holding her. I don't want to let her cry but what else can I do?

    I'm not sure if you all will have any suggestions or this is just a way for me to vent my frustration. I miss laying her down and her sleeping peacefully but nursing just isn't an option I have anymore. My OB was very adamant that I stop asap.
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



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    Posting Addict Jenn0113's Avatar
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    Kayla - I really don't have any suggestions. At daycare Deacon just goes with the flow and lays down and goes right to sleep for naps. At home its a whole different story. Either he falls asleep playing and it only lasts about an hour or I fight him to lay down with me and he will sleep for 3 hours. I don't really worry about it since he is only home for naps 2 days a week, but if it was a daily thing I would have to change my strategy. With me staying home for 12 weeks soon I am interested to see what everyone suggests.
    Jenn & Jus 1.13.06
    Deacon: 11.11.08
    Kara: 12.27.11


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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn0113 View Post
    Kayla - I really don't have any suggestions. At daycare Deacon just goes with the flow and lays down and goes right to sleep for naps. At home its a whole different story. Either he falls asleep playing and it only lasts about an hour or I fight him to lay down with me and he will sleep for 3 hours. I don't really worry about it since he is only home for naps 2 days a week, but if it was a daily thing I would have to change my strategy. With me staying home for 12 weeks soon I am interested to see what everyone suggests.
    See, I am concerned about when the baby is born too since I don't think I will have so much time to devote to getting her down. Ideally, I could spend a few minutes reading her a book, maybe rocking her for a few minutes and laying her down awake. I'm not sure how I will juggle a baby and these dramatic nap times.

    On a side note, isn't it funny how kids can be so different at daycare? I hear stories like yours all the time. They like to give the parents a hard time I guess.
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



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    Posting Addict Lavender444's Avatar
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    Does she have any comfort items in bed with her? My kiddos have a favorite blanket, a baby and I let them choose a board book to bring in as well. I also allow in a water sippy.

    I was always a stickler for bedtimes. I was pretty set on being able to put my kids down and have them go to sleep on their own. Andrew threw a lot of kinks in my system. I believe he should go to bed on his own, but I also don't want him to CIO. For us, I needed to do some modified form of CIO. So what I would do, is go back in and lay him down (this pissed him off to no end) then I'd hang out for a few minutes, talking and rubbing his head and back. Then tell him it's night time and walk out. The whole time he is crying, but I take comfort in the fact I am going in and providing him with some security. I give him a few minutes, then repeat and repeat and repeat. I didn't pick him up. I didn't want him to learn he could cry his way out of bedtime. Now he's really good about laying down awake and saying "Ni-night". I hate that he had to do some crying to get to the point where he goes to bed well on his own, but I did what I could to make it a little more soothing.

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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    I've tried going back in and soothing her a bit and leaving again. Then she freaks out... Last time I did that DH was so irritated at me b/c I made it worse by going in. I wonder if I did it that way a few times if it would eventually get better? I almost felt like it was cruel to go in and leave again but like you said, I don't want to just walk out and not go back if she is upset. It's hard for me not to pick her up b/c I really do want to comfort her, even if in the back of my mind I know I am probably making it worse. I know that Jordan and Andrew have shared some of the same difficulties when it comes to sleep so it's interesting to hear what eventually worked for him.

    She does have a bunny security blanket. She's starting to get attached to it and today when I walked out she was crying and would say "buh". I didn't realize until I went back in that it had fallen on the floor. She was asking for her bunny. So far it's the only thing that is in her crib since she doesn't have any attachment to anything else. The board book is an interesting idea. I guess I have only thought of having "sleep" things in her crib, not something like a book.
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



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    Posting Addict joysiloo's Avatar
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    Will she nap next to you in bed? Maybe that could be a transition thing until you're about 7 months or so and then you could try and lay down with her for a few minutes and leave, but let her nap on your bed. That way you can get a break too if you need it.
    Daphne Jo 12.29.08 Cormac Thomas 08.25.11




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    Posting Addict Lavender444's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayla1981 View Post
    She does have a bunny security blanket. She's starting to get attached to it and today when I walked out she was crying and would say "buh". I didn't realize until I went back in that it had fallen on the floor. She was asking for her bunny. So far it's the only thing that is in her crib since she doesn't have any attachment to anything else. The board book is an interesting idea. I guess I have only thought of having "sleep" things in her crib, not something like a book.
    I use to think that bedtime was bedtime. And if it didn't have to do with sleep, they couldn't bring it in. But being a single parent 90% of the time I decided to pick my battles. Expecially since nap time is more for me than for them! If they want to flip through a few pages and it gets me an extra 10 minutes of alone time so I can shower, I'm all for it! Plus, I want them to be book worms. If they get an attachment to books in the process, I am A-okay with that.

    Sleep training hard to do! It was hard for me, and I've never rocked my kiddos to sleep. I'm sure the transition for Jordan is difficult and, in her eyes, worth fighting for. But it will be better for you all once she can go to bed nicely. Just remember to be consistant with whatever you decide to do. Good luck!

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    Posting Addict Kayla1981's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joysiloo View Post
    Will she nap next to you in bed? Maybe that could be a transition thing until you're about 7 months or so and then you could try and lay down with her for a few minutes and leave, but let her nap on your bed. That way you can get a break too if you need it.
    If only you could see this child when I try to get her to sleep next to me. It's so ridiculous! We've tried it quite a few times when we were desperate, especially while traveling and every time it is the same. She flops around, plays, crawls all over us, etc. When we were out of town for Jason's grandmother's funeral a little while back I had her in bed with me for over two hours and she never went to sleep. That was after she slept for all of about two hours in the pack'n'play. One time we were at a hotel and she woke up in the middle of the night. We tried putting her in our bed but finally gave up and packed up the car at 4am and headed home. It's a good idea in theory!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lavender444 View Post
    I use to think that bedtime was bedtime. And if it didn't have to do with sleep, they couldn't bring it in. But being a single parent 90% of the time I decided to pick my battles. Expecially since nap time is more for me than for them! If they want to flip through a few pages and it gets me an extra 10 minutes of alone time so I can shower, I'm all for it! Plus, I want them to be book worms. If they get an attachment to books in the process, I am A-okay with that.

    Sleep training hard to do! It was hard for me, and I've never rocked my kiddos to sleep. I'm sure the transition for Jordan is difficult and, in her eyes, worth fighting for. But it will be better for you all once she can go to bed nicely. Just remember to be consistant with whatever you decide to do. Good luck!
    I really don't regret rocking and nursing Jordan all those times. I loved the closeness, the cuddling, the quiet time with her. But now it's kind of coming back and biting me in the butt. I'm not sure how I want to do things the next time around but I figure it will depend on this child's temperament. I totally agree that nap times are just as much (or more) for me than her. Especially lately.
    Kayla & Jason
    Jordan Mae 4.6.10
    loss 10.21.08



  9. #9
    Posting Addict Lavender444's Avatar
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    I hope I didn't imply you did regret it. I was just trying to say it was really difficult to sleep train Andrew, and he had very few times where he fell asleep in someones arms and was old enough to remember it. So for a baby who knows how comforting that us, it is a battle. And I'm sure she is not going to give that up easliy.

    I'm sure Jordan has properly prepared you for any battles this new baby throws at you. Having a difficult child trains you for just about anything. I've been watching my friends 4 month old twins and the parents said one of them is a handfull. And she's more of a firecracker than her sister. But they didn't take into consideration, I'm Andrew's Mother. I have learned tricks on a entirely different playing field. I'm sometimes sad we are not having more children. I feel more ready to handle another infant now than I ever did before!

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    Posting Addict alwayssmile's Avatar
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    I'd look into her routine leading up to nap time. Make sure it's consistent everyday. We read 2-3 books and play soft, classical lullaby music while rocking before naps. It takes them awhile to make the connection that sleep happens right after the routine, but it does eventually happen. If Aiden is having a hard time settling down after I put him in the crib, I pick him up and read to him again. After 3 times I'll do whatever it takes to get him to sleep for a nap - baby wearing, ride in the stroller, the car, whatever. An overtired kiddo doesn't sleep, so I do my best to not get him to the overtired point or I'll be suffering for much longer than one nap. Aiden needs a routine and whenever something upsets it (ilke us traveling) it takes us a few days to get him back on track with going down without a fuss.

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