I understand that children misbehave. I sympathize for any parent who is dealing with a child that is being difficult and I also understand why parents ignore some tantrums. With all that being said, I don't understand when parents just turn a blind eye to their child's misbehavior when it's disrupting others. I swear I'm not in a bad mood but I just wanted to share our experience at story time this morning.
One child walked up to the front and just stood in front of all the other kids. The librarian was trying to read and kids kept saying "I can't see!". The librarian asked the boy to sit many times but he just ignored her. She finally had to ask who he belonged to and a grandmother in the back raised her hand. Hello... She had to ask the grandmother to get him to sit down.
One child almost took Jordan out during a song. They were supposed to get their wiggles out but he was just wild. His mother was right next to him and never said a word.
After story time it was like a free for all. An all out brawl broke out between two girls. I think one took the other child's book and then they both started screaming and literally attacked each other. To be fair, it happened quickly and the moms separated them. However, one of the girls involved in the altercation (yep, I'm going with a toddler altercation) just kept throwing fit after fit. I don't know why the mom didn't just take her home.
Another boy was using an isle as his personal track, running back and forth over and over. Then he was literally hanging on the wall. There is this thing that looks like a pilots control panel where they can pretend to steer, adjust knobs, etc. He was hanging on the wheel and the mom just watched from afar. Laughing.
Maybe I hover over Jordan too much but I don't want to be one of those parents who is getting eye rolls behind their back.
I agree!!! We had a similiar situation happen to us at the library. The kid was yelling, taking books from his siblings and almost ran Ali over...all while his dad just stood there. Without shoes on I might add (ew). I know that kids will be kids, but if they do not get taught to behave how will they know? It is up to us as parents to raise happy, healthy and productive members of society.
Agree. Nobody said being a parent is all fun and games. Does it suck to have to take your kid home from something in front of staring parents, yes. But buck up and do it, I've done it, no big deal. Nobody remembers. I'd rather take my kid home and teach them a lesson.
Kristen & Donnie, 2005
Jackson Thomas, 10.08, & Colby Jameson, 5.11
Kristen Privett Photography
I agree! I'm having trouble with Grace in her art class. Mostly because she wants to everything herself like cutting with REAL scissors and all. It's also right in the middle of her nap time so she gets a very short one around noon and wakes up cranky usually. The teacher actually called me on the phone to tell I'm being too hard on her more or less in a nice way. lol I'm not spanking or screaming at her there or anything so I was a little taken back by her call. I guess I stand out when the other parents let their kids do whatever and don't even watch them half the time. I explained to her that I have Ben with me so my leash is very short when we are out. The teacher can barely get all the supplies out and the class going with 13 kids so each parents is in charge of her own kid. I'm harder on Grace when we are out because I can't run off and chase her like if I was alone. This is why I like dance class more. She goes in, they are in charge and she can't run out a door without someone noticing.
I agree. I will never understand why parents don't PARENT their children. I find if the rules are laid out from the start they are easier to follow. Ava has gone in her share of timeouts in the middle of a grocery store. Some people look shocked I would do that, and others tell me I'm doing a great job. And we have left out share of activities because of fits. I figure at this age, toddlers are like puppies. If you don't correct it midact- it's too late. They don't remember the behavior well enough to talk about it later.
Graham calls me the traffic cop when we're out with the kids. I jump right in and climb up the play structures to be sure everyone is playing fair. So many other parents just sit on the sidelines-oblivious to their childs bratty ways.
Yep, annoying! McD's is about the worst - the playroom there! I can't stand going there for that reason. I do love McD's (food) but we take it to the park and play in peace!
I've often let two children (for lack of a better word) duke it out (verbally, not physically) without stepping in to solve it for them as long as they are doing it constructively and safely. To someone walking by, it'd look like I was ignoring these two children yelling at each other when in reality, I'm supervising as they work it out by themselves.
However, when it comes to L out in public, I'm very proactive to remove him from a situation when he starts being loud, etc and bothering people. For instance, today we left the library even though I didn't have anything because he started getting fussy/loud.
To f/u on my 1st point, after they work it out, I point out the right things they said/did ("Tommy, I really liked that you told her that 'You hurt me, you stepped on my foot!' instead of hitting her, that's great you used your words! I'm sorry that you got hurt, are you ok?"......"Next time maybe we can use our words a little quieter? You don't need to scream at her, she's standing right there in front of you. That probably really hurt people's ears when you screamed" etc etc etc)
TTC#1 since 12/06----bfp 10/08, m/c 11/08
1st RE appt: dx with pcos and mfi. Joy.
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TTC#2 since 12/10
I agree, there are times that I feel like some parents need to be following through or stepping in with behavior. However, I also have to tell myself that my threshold for acceptable behavior is not always the same as other peoples' expectations. It all depends on the behavior. Having twins, I have learned to let them handle their own altercation sometimes because they have to learn how to deal with each other for a very long time. Now, I draw the line at letting my small toddlers fight with another child and not step in. Preschoolers and school age kids are a different matter. They have to learn how to handle conflict. I might provide a little guidance, but I let Isaiah figure out how to handle it. I have rarely had to deal with that though.
I will say that I am pretty sure I am harder on my kids than other parents. I am the parent who is constantly saying something to make sure my kids are using their manners and such. I am also the parent who sometimes "yells" in the store. I say "yells" because it is more that Isaiah has decided he is old enough to wander away from me. So, I feel like I am constantly calling out his name and counting (we use 1-2-3 Magic with him). I have seen parents look at me funny before, but hey I have expectations for behavior and I don't care if I am in public, I expect my kids to adhere to those expectations. Plus, having the twinkles makes it really hard to keep him where I want him. My stroller is hard to maneuver in some tight spaces, and he knows I cannot just leave the girls to track him. I have embarrassed him by making him hold onto the stroller handle and walk with me.
I've worked with children in a few different settings and there were always opportunities to let them work on their social skills. Allowing them to apply what we teach to them is the best way for them to learn. I was speaking more of when children are being disruptive to others in a public place.
For instance, when my SIL had her baby in May we went to visit and there were a few other kids in the room too. You all know how small a hospital room is....well Deacon and the other 2-3 kids were being so loud and laughing and running and rough housing. I stayed on him, put him in time out and told him we would leave. All the adults said they were being good and to leave him alone. However, had I been the laboring moms in the other rooms I would have called the nurses ASAP to have us all removed.
I always try to take into consideration the people around us and if my child is bothering them. We have all been in situations when there is a kid acting up and we don't see the mother even give it 2 seconds of attention....so I don't want to be that mom. I'd rather people think I am mean and too strict than think my kid is a brat.