| Hey Kayla. I know you wrote me forever ago and I'm so sorry I never replied back. |
I'm living in my own place now and am trying to keep it as cheap as possible, so reluctantly decided not to get internet. Thank goodness for iPhones, but they aren't the best for writing long messages!
You can probably tell from my FB that my life has gone through some major changes lately. Without going into a lot of detail, Drew and I filed for divorce in March. In December, he decided to take an oil field job in Montana and moved up there permanently. I tried my hardest to move Emmy and I up there as well, but surprisingly, housing costs are outrageously high due to the oil boom that is going on up there. There was no possible way we could afford $2000/mo for a 5th wheel (which was the cheapest I could find). Drew works 20 days on/10 days off, so we decided that he would just come home on his days off. However, he didn't come home from Feb-April and eventually I found out there was another girl involved. Long story short, he made it clear that he doesn't want a long distance relationship and still blames me for everything, because I was the one who didn't go up there with him.
I went back to work in February, a small starter job that didn't pay well, but enough to get my own apartment and away from my parents (started feeling suffocated very quickly)! I was there up until mid May when I got offered a job with our County Counsel law office where I'm working now. It pays almost double what I was making before, but over the past 3 months I have become so far in debt that I feel like I'm drowning more and more every day, and I am trying so hard to dig myself out.
I have big goals for a future career and was very honest with my boss upon being hired that this job will be very temporary for me. I am trying to get back on with our Sheriff Dept, where I worked before I got married. I may go back to dispatching, but in the long run want to be Coroner. I'm applying to college next Fall to get my BS in Biology and kick start the job opportunities.
As far as the divorce goes, this whole time my number one goal has been to keep it as civil as possible for Emmys sake. I want Drew and I to be able to work together to never have her in the middle of a battle. I have been determined to not get a lawyer and we agreed on an amount for child support, but he refuses to pay it or help me out at all. The he blindsided me by attempting to get full custody and is determined to prove me as an "unfit" mother, because I'm on WIC and food stamps so can't support myself, while he's making $6000/mo and feels Emmy would be better off with him and his girlfriend in Montana... Everyone tells me to get a lawyer and get the money I deserve, but I just can't bring myself to lower to that level and try to screw him over... I'm just in such a battle with myself, family, friends, etc.... And what is best for Emmy? I know for certain that she needs her mom who has been with her 100% of the time, but then when I'm overdrawn the day after payday I feel it would be better for her to be supported... It's a constant struggle.
Emmy, on the other hand, is doing wonderful. She is what keeps me going every day. We just celebrated her first birthday, just a small family get together at a park and my friend made a cake for her which she LOVED. We had to take it away from her before she ate the entire thing. I have one cake picture in my album if you haven't seen it yet She can stand up on her own for a really long time and I know she could walk if she tried, but she thinks it's funny to just squat down and not do it. That's ok though, I'm not in a huge hurry to chase her around anyway! We have a little scare as of today when her TB test came back "inconclusive" and I have to take her to get chest x rays on Monday. The Dr seems to think it's fine, but there is some concern with Drew having been in Iraq. I'm just trying not to worry about it this weekend, I have way too many other things to stress about.
Now I feel that I'm rambling and am sorry. I hope you don't regret checking in on me! Haha. I miss p.org as well and if you want you can post this message or let them all know the drama that is my life, and that one day I'll make enough $$ to have internet! At least tell them hi for me! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts and prayers! Thank you so so much.
Love, Katelyn & EmBug!