So...the whole job in China thing has presented itself to Tyson again, but this time with a twist. They are asking him to work in stretches of 6 weeks and then spend 3 weeks at home, so the kids and I would stay here. It would be almost triple what he's making now and he'd need to sign a three year contract, with an option to leave after one year (there are big bonuses for staying additional years). Overall, he'd be away from home about as much as he is now, it would just be in bigger chunks and he'd be home for bigger chunks.
Do you think that how the time is broken up makes a difference? Enough of a difference to turn down triple the money? Initially we said no, but now, realizing that the time away from home would be about the same and realizing that we could pretty much pay for both kids' college education in one year of this is making us rethink. Also, I told him that if we go through with it, I'm hiring part time help with the kids (for when I'm in school/work and to just get an occasional break) and a cleaning lady - I would need help maintaining my sanity for 6 week stretches.
What would you do?
Wow, what a unique opportunity!
I think you would enjoy having him around for bigger chunks of time.
That is a tough decision but one good thing is that you guys are still young and its may not be as hard now to do as it would be later, like when the kids are in school. If you can hire extra help and you get to see him in 3 week stretches, I'd say that sounds like a nice deal - especially considering the money and the fact that you could save for your kids college that soon.
Does it mean you wouldn't see him at all for 6 weeks at a time?
That's tough. I think I would go for it. The chance to earn the money now, when the kids are young is great. And, having extra help around the house would be good for you and for the kids. And, with the option to have him leave after a year, I would totallly go for it, knowing that its a one year deal and if you hate it, it has a time limit. Where would he live? Is he okay with the idea? What about holidays, like Christmas? Would he be able to be home for those? What about health coverage and emergencies? Would it impact his ability to find employment after the one year, at home, if he didn't like it?
me and DH 09/06/05
Alicia Marie 07/06/08
David John Courtenay 14/10/09
DSDs Portia 2001 Lexi 1999 Cassondra 1989
Do you think that how the time is broken up makes a difference? YES! I think it would make a huge difference, for the better for my family. My kids handle G's travel well, but they would adore having him around for more than 2 days in a row. When Tyson is home for 3 weeks- will he be required to work, or is he just home? That would be a factor for me. Enough of a difference to turn down triple the money? that is a lot of money for such a short time. It would set you up well for the future that I think the sacrific might be worth it. Initially we said no, but now, realizing that the time away from home would be about the same and realizing that we could pretty much pay for both kids' college education in one year of this is making us rethink. Also, I told him that if we go through with it, I'm hiring part time help with the kids (for when I'm in school/work and to just get an occasional break) and a cleaning lady - I would need help maintaining my sanity for 6 week stretches.
I think help for you at home would be a must! Expecially while you are in school and working. What does Tyson think of it? 6 weeks is a long time to be away rom your family. I would never be able to be away from my kids for 6 weeks, but I know Graham would have no trouble with it. And, in a world Skype and phones that do face time, it would be easy for the kids to check in with Daddy while he is away. If it was my family I would be on board with it for a year, the pros seem to outeweigh the cons. At the year mark we would need to sit down and make sure it's working well for everyone.
GL with whatever you guys decide!
Hmmm, well, DH has a smaller scale schedule, like you have now. 3 days on, 4 days off, but he usually takes a 4th day of work, so 4 on/3 off. If it came down to it, I could do 6 weeks on/3 off. But, it's totally a personal choice and depends on you & the two of you. I am an only child, so I don't mind being by myself a lot.
Do you have a lot of family and friends nearby?
Could you keep yourself busy?
Do you think it would be okay to try for a year?
How is your DH on the days he returns? (There are actually some classes firefighter families/and husbands take on how to act when they return, husbands should devote their first day back completely to the family, etc. But my DH is sometimes a lump the first day he returns and it wears on me, lol.)
For the last couple of years DH was working out of town from anywhere from 6 to 10 weeks at a time. And although the money was good and I had help, I am going to be honest and tell you that I did not like it when he was gone for so long. The first week or two always seemed ok but after that it just seemed like he was going to be gone forever or something. Alison missed him, I missed him, the dogs even missed him. It was just really hard on all of us. I was very glad when his contract was up and he was able to take a job that allowed him to be home every night. But you have to weigh the pros and cons for your family. Everyone has a different situation. Good luck!!!
This is so tough, Joy. I only have a minute right now and might write more later. My initial thought to this was that I personally (not thinking of money or current amount of time he is away, etc) would be a bit anxious having him overseas all the time. I know he is always flying and on opposite ends of the states, etc but I feel like this is such a different ballgame... Keep us posted on what you guys are thinking. All of you that have dh's gone so often...wow...are amazing.
Another thought is if you were to do it, to be very specific and decide on a plan up front as to where they money will go. I would definitely come up with a plan together to stick to. You wouldn't want him when he's home to be spending tons of money if you're in it to try to save, or the other way around, kwim? You wouldn't want either of you to be resentful. If after a year we were to have a nice college savings fund, nest egg, and emergency fund, personally for me that would be worth a year of hard work, since it is a lot of work on your end too.