WWYD - party question
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    Community Host Cali26's Avatar
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    Question WWYD - party question

    Hi all, I'm starting to plan J's bday party and am stuck on who to invite...
    J's been asking for months to have a party with his friends. DH and I agreed to throw him a friend party this year as opposed to the large family parties we've thrown each year in the past.
    Now here is my dilemma....
    Do I invite his entire class (there used to be 12 in the class when I initially decided to throw the friend party, but now there are 16)?
    Do I invite only a few in the class (I really don't want to exclude anyone)?
    Do I invite his friends from his playgroup/neighbors that don't go to his school?
    Do I include his cousins (this would mean more kids and more family)?

    My current thoughts: I think I am going to invite the entire class as I bet maybe only 10 will actually come. I think I am going to invite the immediate family (6 cousins) only after the friends leave (party after the party? as this can be waaayy informal). And as far as his playgroup/ non-school friends go... I have no idea. There would be maybe 6-7 kids I could think of that he would want to include...but I feel that is way too many in the event that they all came.

    I'm throwing the party at my house as I've already rented some bouncy/ playhouse thing that was on a daily deal site. I want to avoid massive chaos as I plan on having some organization with the kids during the party (playtime, lunch, games, cake).

    WWYD? Am I thinking too much into this?
    Mommy to 2 amazing little boys!

    Angel babies 6/9/07 & 11/16/07


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    I am always the odd one out among parents. We never invite the whole class. I feel there are too many children to make the party a success. We allow Isaiah to pick only a select number of kids. In the beginning, we only invited two close friends from preschool and one close friend outside of preschool. At his eighth birthday party, he invited 10 kids. We also started with small parties at our house and moved to slightly larger parties at a rented venue. Our latest was at the local university pool. I recognize that I do not necessarily follow current trends though.
    Melanie
    DS-Isaiah 1/2/04
    DDs- Keira and Sarafina 11/28/09


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    Community Host Cali26's Avatar
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    The advice given to me in the past was to invite one friend per every year of the child's age. This logic makes sense to me. A party with 4 preschoolers sounds perfect. However, I feel that I would be excluding the other kids that previously invited him to bday parties when those kids wouldn't be part of the chosen 4. He's been with the core school group for 3 years now and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.... IDK...maybe I'll only include school friends vs. community friends.... this is also why I didn't want a family party as he has enough cousins to make it a full house.... Thanks for your input!
    Mommy to 2 amazing little boys!

    Angel babies 6/9/07 & 11/16/07


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    I find that deciding who to invite is incredibly hard. I worry about hurting others' feelings as well. Isaiah's school is small and he has been invited to about 4 parties this year. Those parties have had the same core group of kids too. Most people are not having parties apparently. Those that we have invited to his parties admit that they do not often throw parties for their kids. I am not sure if it is just the area or if that is becoming a new trend around here. If we are invited, we often only get about one week advance notice (if that). I always try to give at least two weeks.
    Melanie
    DS-Isaiah 1/2/04
    DDs- Keira and Sarafina 11/28/09


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    I don't know, that is a hard decision! Sounds like J is a popular little man.

    I don't see why you would have to invite the entire class, but maybe if he just picked a select few (4 sounds good to me!), I would do the inviting outside of class so the other classmates aren't wondering where their invitation is. OR don't invite any classmates this year, and do the community friends instead. Who knows?!
    ~Ashley

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    Community Host Cali26's Avatar
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    I pretty much have to invite school friends this year... there are 2 other kids who have bdays the same week. One of the parents has already coordianted the party date with me b/c they don't want to have conflicting party dates...

    I think I will end up inviting school friends only. Whether or not I exclude anyone, I don't know yet. The idea of inviting them outside of school is something I will consider. I think I will avoid inviting community friends this year. And to satisfy the family, I think I will invite them over after the friend party. It just seems like too much planning for a 4 year old party! I'm hoping as he gets older, he will be able to pick and choose a few of his close friends. Right now, everyone is a good friend...lol.
    Mommy to 2 amazing little boys!

    Angel babies 6/9/07 & 11/16/07


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    I don't know...its so hard. Alicia has been invited to two parties with kids from her school...and we declined. Both were from the same family and came complete with lists of what the kids would like for their birthdays. I was kind of off-put by it, and the fact that they are inviting the whole class of pre-schoolers...it seemed like a gift grab when no one else was having that kind of party yet (these kids were turning 2 and 3).

    Alicia has asked for friends at her party this year, but when I ask who she wants to invite, she can't give me a name. Are there one or two whom he hangs out with a lot or whom you have had playdates etc with? If they are "just" school friends, I wouldn't worry about inviting them...especially if no one else is having that kind of party. You could do a community/cousins party and then invite a friend or two from school for some other special activity...like swimming or a playdate that is special just for his birthday...a treat without a party i mean. For Alicia, I think she just wants someone to play with...so we will be inviting one or two little girls we know to join us...and that's it. It will be kids of friends of ours...so she has someone to play with...but we aren't including the whole class yet. Next year, with kindergarten...that whole ball of wax will be back!

    Nicole

    me and DH 09/06/05
    Alicia Marie 07/06/08
    David John Courtenay 14/10/09
    Angel 4/8/07
    DSDs Portia 2001 Lexi 1999 Cassondra 1989

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    I would probably worry about hurting feelings of classmates not included but I'm such a worrywart anyway. This seems like a tough age for party planning! I'm sure everything will turn out perfectly!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cali26 View Post
    I pretty much have to invite school friends this year... there are 2 other kids who have bdays the same week. One of the parents has already coordianted the party date with me b/c they don't want to have conflicting party dates...

    I think I will end up inviting school friends only. Whether or not I exclude anyone, I don't know yet. The idea of inviting them outside of school is something I will consider. I think I will avoid inviting community friends this year. And to satisfy the family, I think I will invite them over after the friend party. It just seems like too much planning for a 4 year old party! I'm hoping as he gets older, he will be able to pick and choose a few of his close friends. Right now, everyone is a good friend...lol.
    Coordinating the party date kind of makes the "who to invite" dilemma a big struggle. Boo for that. It sounds like you have a good plan. I hope it works out well.

    Quote Originally Posted by mommyvolc View Post
    Next year, with kindergarten...that whole ball of wax will be back!

    Nicole
    We chose not to invite the entire class for any of Isaiah's parties. We are lucky that the school Isaiah attends puts out a directory (of those children whose parents submit contact information) and we invite kids using contact information published in the directory. Two of Isaiah's teachers have required you to invite the entire class if you want to send invites through school.
    Melanie
    DS-Isaiah 1/2/04
    DDs- Keira and Sarafina 11/28/09


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