Been feeling alone
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Thread: Been feeling alone

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Been feeling alone

    So my husband and I have been trying forever. I had a really good friend who was going through all of this with me. My husband and I have gone through one cycle of IUI and it did not take. Tonight my friend told me that she is pregnant. I am happy for her that is for sure but now I am really feeling like it is everyone but me. I want a baby so bad and its killing me seeing everyone else get pregnant but we are still struggling. I feel like I have no one to talk to because they all keep saying relax and it will happen. That has not happened. I just wish I had someone to talk to that understood and could relate.

  2. #2
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    You came to the right place. We can all relate. I know that I have shed many tears hearing of friends and family members pregnancies. Unless you have been there you really can't relate but a little empathy from those closest to us would be nice.



    And welcome to our little group that we wish did not exist. I am Margaret, married to Sean for 10 years. We have a miracle, Robbie, who is now 7. I live in Edmonton, Alberta.
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    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
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    Hi there. We can all totally relate. I'm so sorry you have to be here, but I'm happy you found us! It's a great board and everyone here is super supportive.

    Don't be hard on yourself for bumming on your friends pregnancy! You are not a bad friend. My best friend had a baby last year. By accident. At 39. I was happy got her but so sad for me too. This is a really hard thing to deal with and you do the best you can.

    And if one more freaking person says to relax and it will happen, they will get slapped! It's insensitive and makes it worse. As if THAT is what if stopping you. Ha.
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

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    Posting Addict dreamchaser's Avatar
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    You've come to a great place for support, advice, and a shoulder whenever you need one. The ladies on this site have helped me through some really low moments in my life.

    I have a friend who had an unexpected pregnancy and it was very difficult for me during that time as she was so upset by it when I would have given anything to be pregnant! The insensitive comments are the worst!! I've heard many over the years! Unfortunately many people don't see fertility issues as the medical issues they are! And it makes my blood boil when comments are made, especially by those who have NO clue what it's like to have trouble conceiving.


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    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
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    You came to the right place. The women on here are the most understanding, caring individuals I have ever encountered. I have tried to get pregnant for 8 yrs now and I am still not pregnant, never have been. It is tough and not many people know or understand the daily struggle we have. What helped me, besides the great group here, is going to marriage counseling or even individual counseling. It helped me realize that there are some things you just can't control. It is never your fault and you are no less a person if you don't have children. I struggled with this until recently. I am a pm away if you need to talk.

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    That is so how I feel. I feel like just screaming that I do not want to hear it because you have no clue. I would rather people say nothing at all when I am crying my eyes out instead of just relax and it will happen.

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    Community Host Lizbet22's Avatar
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    I am so sorry you are going through this!!!
    Yup...we can all relate...
    Have you noticed its those who get there lo's easily or have never been pregnant who say all that.
    Worst thing to say!!!!
    One girl I know...who was heavily pregnant at the time was talking about another girl who was having difficulties falling and told me she said that the girl should stop trying so hard and it would happen....I just looked at her and told her she had no right to say that to someone having problems especially when she was pregnant when saying this....I told her that if she had said that to me I would have left or slapped her!!
    Hmmm...maybe thats why our friendship isn't the same...LOL

    Just know you have somewhere here to vent and cry...we all understand!!
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    Prolific Poster blissfulliss's Avatar
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    **huge hugs** Some people just are not able to relate - even some who have been thru the same journey as us seem to forget so quickly and make rude judgments or statements that can cut you to the quick.
    Depending on the setting and person who tells you to "just relax" I have found that it can be helpful to remind them that infertility is a DISEASE, just like cancer... you would NEVER tell someone to "just relax and you'll be healed from your cancer!" and likewise, it's just as rude and unhelpful to tell someone struggling with infertility to do the same.... even then, some people don't want to accept this medically proven fact and want to argue or defend themselves... but know that you are NOT alone and that there are ways of standing up and not letting infertility (or insensitive friends!!!) get the best of you
    mom2robbie and smsturner like this.

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    Contributor JustMeNHim's Avatar
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    Grrrr!! Don't you get tired of hearing the same "just relax and it will happen" line!! Most frustrating thing ever!

    I have been through two pregnancies with my sister/best friend, and while I would never ever want to change a thing about it, it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through... I love my niece & nephew (who, by the way, just turned 1wk old) with all my heart, but the feeling of lonliness...hopelessness...jealousy... while walking out of the hospital after visiting... no one can imagine what that's like.

    You are in the right place...
    Married DH 10/5/05-- since 2007--Dealing with MFI



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    Well I survived the holidays even though I felt like screaming with even more people announcing that they were pregnant and feeling like my sister in law was rubbing her pregnancy in a little too much. My dh and I had to take a break so that I could have surgery to fix a hernia from an appendectomy in February. The surgeon told me that we could try iui again next cycle if we wanted but hubby is thinking I need to let my body rest. Any suggestions?

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