Can we do another cry/scream/vent-a-thon?

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FLSunshineMom's picture
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Can we do another cry/scream/vent-a-thon?

Awhile back Liz did a cry/scream/vent thread and it was so nice to have a place to just "let it all out" and get things off our chest, especially since we can all relate to one another here in a way that others can't.

Mind if we do it again?

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I'll start (unless someone else beats me to it, lol).

I have a "cry" to share. This morning while on FB, there was a friend who had a pic of her growing belly, and she wrote that she was feeling little wiggles every day now, and how great it felt. It's her 2nd pregnancy. While I am soooo happy for her, it just really got to me, and I started to cry. I guess sometimes I forget just how badly I want to feel those little wiggles again (and everything else that goes along with it, iykwim).

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*hugs* Mary - I haven't yet been there but I totally understand at the same time.

Want to hear my vent? DH had to have his wisdom teeth out and two root canals plus two crowns done since January. His dental coverage had a max of $2000 which barely covered the wisdom teeth. With all the small appointments, cleanings, xrays, checks, oh yeah - a mouth guard because he grinds in his sleep - we have had to put more than $10,000 on my credit card in emergency expenses. Luckily I have an awesome rate but it's still stressing me to the max. He still has one crown to get and that's $3500!! Our credit is maxed though so we can't even pay for the next one. We are meeting with the bank tomorrow to assess the situation and see about consolidating it into a loan to pay off instead. I JUST payed off my car and two student loans last December and now I'm in debt again and I hate it. I know there are lots of people worse off than us, but it still depresses me. We want to buy a house but we are barely getting by and have no $ for savings. We have no idea why though as a lot of our other friends with single incomes are doing way better! Grr.. I'm just so frustrated at $$$ these days.

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:bighug: to you girls!

I'm stressed over the fact that our dumb a** principal hasn't told us what grade I will be teaching in September or if I will stay in the same grade. I would love to know so I can prepare for the beginning of the year!

I'm also upset that I can TTC for at least 3 months now!! UGH!!!! And my cousin and close friend are pregnant! So now I have to see their growing bellies for the next 9 months! Sad

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Rachael - Aw man, so sorry, girl! How frustrating! I hope the bank can give you a good deal on consolidating a loan :bigarmhug:

Marisol - I'm sorry you won't be able to ttc for at least 3 months. And it's hard to see those close to us with growing bellies, isn't it? Huge hugs, girl :bighug:

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Hugs and kisses to u ladies!! Well heres my vent : yesterday DH got let go from his job so im totally like pulling my short hair out !! I mean he has a check comin nxt wek and the unemployment ck as well ... But im nervous because i havent saved much since pur wedding and bills are due ! I mean i have the means of paying them but the little money i hsd to my self is gone ! Sad then on top of that he broke his iphone so now i have to buy him a new one ! Granted i wad going to anyway but still !! Ughh !! Then today im supposed to be ovulating and i hope things go well regardless .. * Update* so dh called me to tell me that the hilton just called him for a job offer !!! Ughh God is good but i dont want to put all my eggs in onr basket just yet !! Do u ladies think its selfish of me to still ttc ? I mean hopefully he will have a job in the nxt 9 mOnths but who knows? Then at work my boss is acting soo ughh i just want to transfer out !! Me and my coworker spent an hr trying to figure out the issue with our cash ( im a bank teller ) and it really had me drained !! Now im at the gum trying to sweat out my frustration !! Then again another one of my friends whom i love dearly is prego and shes so cute !! IWANT THAT TO BE ME !!! ( little kid voice ) !! Lol sorry for the essay !!

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Sad sorry ladies. Mary, I have been dealing with the exact same thing with a number of my preggo (and newly preggo) friends. In fact, I've had to hide some of these friends' posts b/c seeing them made me cry, and of course I was very happy for all of them...just resentful that I am seemingly unable to get pg.

Esp now that this month marks 2 years TTC for #2.

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Heres mine...some of what I am going to write I would really prefer no comments on because I have kept it quiet so I didn't upset anyone or incite a pity party...too many hormones everywhere so I don't want anyone upset..I am dealing.
Anyway...a friend I was at school with has just posted shes 12 weeks pregnant!
I am so gutted and jealous....my insensitive friend has just had her baby and me...well for the last 2 months I have got all excited only to have 2 more CPs...last one 10 days ago..the one before that the last cycle....out of 4 months I have been preggers 3 times!!
The progesterone I had I got too late...and even then apparently its not known if it does work or not.
6 flaming miscarriages and still its flaming bad luck!!!!!!
Been told to wait 2 cycles...I want to go for it this month and then leave 2 cycles...but M isn't hven't it...he is sick of the happiness and then the lows....and I am sick of just knowing it will be anopther failure...
So to see friends..my age...having happy oops....well...its doing my head in.
I am so jealous..I feel bitter and twisted.
I am back to having that feeling I had before I fell in Feb..of laughing being hysterical..i just do not feel good or happy!
THe only thing keeping me going at the mo is my trip to the States.

Its scary really...if you think about it...TTC actually takes over your life..I don't think I think long term of anything else...not an hour goes by without my thinking of pregnancy, ttc, or M/C

Its a horrible journey for all of us...and I wouldn't wish our situations on my worst enemy.
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Liz- I will respect your request and not comment, but just want to say :bighug:

Vent- did y'all see that you can now add your "expected baby" to facebook?!? Ridiculous!

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Tasha - I don't think it's selfish to want to ttc, you said your DH had a job offer anyway, right? *Hugs* for everything you're going through right now.

Liz - Hope it's okay to give you a special smiley :comfort: And thanks for making this a sticky. Great idea Smile

ETA: Sophia - sorry, meant to include you in my o.p. Hugs to you, too. You have been through so much :bigarmhug:

My vent for the day.
I got a +OPK yesterday evening and this morning. I couldn't help but hope for BD and that it would go well. Then this morning DH and I both woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, so I thought it would happen, but DH then told me his back was bothering him. Another month, come and gone.

(I know not everyone here believes the way I do, so feel free to ignore the following if you want)

My prayer: "Lord God in Heaven, help me let go (and keep letting go) of what I want and totally trust You with this. Help my friends, too, with whatever they need. In Jesus' name, Amen."

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Its so frustrating eh Mary..I know I'm going to get a postitive in the next day or so...but M is being rigid...I know its doctors orders...but I want to do it this month!!...I don't know why I just do!!!!!!
I will win!!!! LOL

Thank you for the prayer it is totally appreciated!
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Here's my vents. Last cycle, which was my first on clomid, I was having pregnancy signs. I was cautiously hopeful that we finally caught the egg, but then my uninvited aunt from hell arrived. I made an appointment with my doctor for the next day and an ultrasound showed that I have a cysts on my left and right ovaries :rolleyes:

I also watched Nick Lachey's TLC wedding special and I got so jealous of Vanessa Manillo that I was sobbing half the day. She has a best friend, but not a mother who is involved in her life. I have the exact opposite situation. I have a loving mother for whom I am grateful for, but no best friend. I would give almost anything to have a female best friend. I would love to be someone's Matron of Honor, and I would love to see my best friend get pregnant and have a baby.

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*hugs to you all*

Venting is all good. Reminds us that we are just human and **** happens. Eat ice cream, swim naked in a lake, make out in the back seat of your car at the drive in. Have fun, because we can't let TTC take over our lives. Smile

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Ugh, about ready to disable facebook. I have ANOTHER mom friend who just announced their pg with baby #2; the worst part is that she lives in the neighbourhood so it's very likely I will be meeting up with her sometime soon.

I'm very sad. Sad

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Mary Thanks for the prayer it was well appreciated!!
Sophia ughh i know that feeling must hurt . My friend told me she was expecting as well but i dong feel sad abt it because shes been ttc for a while so im happy for her but still my feeling of whats taking me so long still lingers ... But hey what can I do but wait and pray right?! My gyn told me that if im not pregnant by the end of summer she will consider me for some fertility treatments so lets see how that works out .. Hopefully by the holidays i will be expecting if doing it on my own doesnt work

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Liz - Go get 'em, girl. I bet you will win Wink

Rachael - You are so right, we definitely can't let it take over our lives :thumbsup:

Sophia - sorry, girl Sad

Ever have one of those "ironic" moments? I had one this morning. I'm over it now, but thought I'd mention it in case anyone can relate. I didn't get to go for my run yesterday morning (I'm training in the Couch to 5K program), so I planned to this morning. But I woke up later than usual and knew I had to get up and go run before it got too hot, and... guess who decided to be all lovey dovey all of the sudden? Yup. Not near O day, nor any other day really when there's PLENTY of time or on one of my non-run days, no... had to be when I had to get up and go. :rolleyes: Just gotta laugh at the irony sometimes. Not that it mattered for ttc reasons, but hey, you never know when that egg REALLY comes out, right? I did have strong O pains again yesterday. Not sure what that was all about. Ah well, I'm over it now. Life goes on, right?

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I'm not here to vent but to give out big hugs!!! This whole TTC journey stinks!!

007 Fan, I hear ya, we've moved quite a bit and now our house is for sell, hoping to move to a more friendly area I guess. I can totally relate.

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Just wanted to say I love you all very much!
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I just put a huge vent "note" up on FB this morning over this whole Obama BC pill stuff. How about Clomid for us struggling? Or help with IVF? Or help lower adoption costs or something? Totally unfair because I'm now paying $40 for prenatals versus $20 but yet BC pills won't even have a co-pay. Sorry, some of us are TTC not preventing and a little help would be great... Sad I'm sick of seeing friends struggle and feel they're losing their dreams of holding a baby in their arms.

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I have a huggee vent today and i really need you ladies today ok so here it is:
So yesterday my dad got admitted to the hospital because his ekg showed that he had a massive heart attack but didnt have any symptoms .. So im kind of worried because a heart attack for him could be a silent killer because of no symptoms .. like what if one day he just doesnt wake up or one min hes uP and well then next min hes gone! My mom is a nurse and shes worried as well .. They have been married for 25 years and she was like not handeling it well at ALL and she usually keeps it together . She and my sister were in like tears and i couldnt cry to be strong for them u know..
So im in my 2ww and im feeling weepy but getting cramps like af is about to show and im sitting in starbucks holding back tears im so damn frustrated with this whole ttc process .. Im like ready to take a break but DH is a little more optimistic .. I had a D&C about 2 years ago and i think thats why im not getting pregnant.. I fell soo .. Idk ladies .. My gyn says that if im not preg by summers end we will see what we need to do .. Im doing everything right exercising eating sorta right ( im trying) taking prenatal vitamins bd every other day using preseed yet nothing ... I hope to GOD im prego this month i really need this .. Now im off to meet with my trainer and im noy even in the mood .. I just need a prayer and a crying session but i dont want to do it in Starbucks ... Talk about embarassing ... Well thats my Sunday Vent....

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:bigarmhug: So sorry about your Dad. Sad Hoping and praying he's well and all okay. TTC is a difficult journey, it's okay to cry, we all do it. I don't think a D&C will cause you to not get pregnant, there could be other factors at play. I've been taking fertility herbs and got pregnant last time using them, sometimes we just need an extra boost or little tricks like Robitussin at O time, etc. I hear good things about acupuncture too. I was told to go for massages but DH is always working lately (stupid economy, it's required for his job to monitor stuff more now than ever).

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Thank you soo much for your kind words

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Tasha - So sorry to hear about your dad, thoughts and prayers for you and your mom :comfort: I agree with Jennifer, ttc is a difficult journey for some of us. Hang in there :bighug:

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Thanks Mary .. I kno that patience is def key here but argggghh

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Hi All

hope everyone is okay!
Tash...hows your dad doing?

I'm stressing out at the mo...I hate hate hate the job I am doing..I am utterly crap at it...and I just keep getting told I am crap at it...today it was insinuated that I was crap at it because I didn't want to work in that department!
WTF!!
I hate it because I am crap at it..and of course I want to be in another department when I am better facing customers...and also my team are a bunch of A$$wipes!!!

I had an interview on Monday for an office role...much more me....fingers crossed I get it.
I can't do with all the stress I am having at the mo...not good for my ailments..or baby making!!

So stressed I want to punch someone!!!!
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Liz my dad is great thanks for asking!! Ugh i hope u get that job i know the feeling of being some place i absolutely hate!!

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Pity Party - table for me

So today I am going to choose to post on this thread -- it has been a very very emotional day and I have nobody here to turn to and so I turn to you ladies (no offence to come to you first, just easier to talk than type sometimes)

I am frustrated .... frustrated with this path that we are on
I am jealous of those who are surprised with two pink lines

THREE girls in our office have all become pregnant and given their notice ... THREE
There are only eight women in our office - the rest men
All three had a "surprise" with two pink lines ....

And then there is me -- ugh! Seriously - I really really do not like me these days. I have so much sadness in me, and I feel like such a failure.

The worst part of it is that we go for our adoption workshop starting tonight -- I am going to have to paint on a mask to hide my feelings when I attend. It is great that these women are willing to give up their babies to those of us who are desperately trying to become a mother ..... but part of me wants to scream because it is not fair that they get to have that choice to begin with.

And then there is the added stress ontop of it -- I am trying to juggle three people's workload (yes, the amount of work for three full time employees) and the flippin company is so damn cheap they don't want to hire anyone! I have to stay putting up with it as DH is in school and I get to pay all the bills (we agreed that we would do this but man it is hard!)
And then there is where we are going to live --- I seriously am pretty much homeless .... well okay, I have a roof over my head until June, 2012 but then that is it! I have no idea where we will be living and DH just shrugs his shoulders and says what will be will be when I ask him where he things we should live. Mind you, he does not have a job so I guess we should wait for that to happen before we decide where we will live but it would be nice to have something a little more concrete.
I am just so stressed out!! No wonder AF was 2 weeks long this past month! UGH!

Sorry if I have offended anyone ...

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Oh Tacie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could come over and bring some brownies and we could pig out, lol. Vent all you want, we understand. Thinking of you. :bigarmhug:

~Mary

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*hugehugs* Tacie, I'm so sorry about all this stress and frustration. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to share here with us and vent. We are here for you.

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I must apologize as I was mean in my vent and I do not want to offend or hurt anyone - I sincerely apologize if my words have and ask that you forgive me.

Thank you for the support - I do appreciate it :bigarmhug:
There was alot of fear, jealousy and self anger in my rant/vent

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Tacie!!! Hugs my lovely. Big bear hugs!!!!

Fir me my specialist appointment has been changed to the 8 dec... Grrr... And my colitis is flaring up!!! Double Grrr!!!!!!
Xxxxx