Coming to say good-bye
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Thread: Coming to say good-bye

  1. #1
    Mega Poster hwunnie_bwunnie83's Avatar
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    Jan 2008

    Unhappy Coming to say good-bye

    Well ladies, a lot has happened in the past month and it's hard to type all what I'm feeling right now but I'm going to try. I've come to say good-bye to all you wonderful ladies that I have met over the past 3 years and that I hope one day you all are blessed with beautiful healthy babies that you so deserve.

    Unfortunately, for me, this isn't and was never my time for a family of my own with the person who I thought was suppose to be my soulmate and partner for life.
    After almost 4 years of trying and a lot of stress, heartache and disappointment, Brent & I have decided to separate and end our relationship of 7 years. Over the years, I haven't felt much like a common-law partner or significant other as we put it. We've drifted apart and it takes 2 people to make a relationship work and it's hard to make it work when the other partner isn't willing to even try or put the effort into it. I was tired of being alone and lonely when I'm suppose to have a significant other in my life who was never around for me physically or emotionally. I want someone in my life that appreciates me, respects me and can love me for me and that wasn't him anymore. He stopped showing all signs of affection and love for me and TTC turned into "one night-stands" and that's not how I wanted to start a family. It was turning into me begging him to spend time with me and I shouldn't have to beg the man I love to spend any time with me, he should WANT to spend time with me and he wouldn't. He started going out again every night and most nights wasn't even coming home and wasn't calling me to let me know. I will never be his "#1" in his life, everything else is more important to him than me and I can't live the rest of my life this way anymore.

    As of right now, I'm currently moving out. It hasn't been easy at all as I'm leaving behind the house we bought together and the house that I have been trying to make our home for the past 4 years. I'm having to leave behind my dog, Kody, as I most likely will be moving into an apartment in 2-3 weeks time. We can't even come to an agreement on visitation for Kody and it's breaking my heart to have to walk away from him because he has been there more for me over the past few years than Brent ever has been and I've been there for Kody more than Brent has ever been as well. H*ck, I pay for the dog, he should be MINE!

    I wish I had more close friends to talk to, to have a shoulder to cry on but I don't. Most people don't understand this at all as most of my friends have a loving, affectionate partner who is there for them physically & emotionally everyday -- I don't know what that is like at all. I'm heartbroken but I know it will get better over time and maybe one day I will find the one person who is meant to be with me and only me.

    I currently have de-activated my facebook account because I'm not ready to share with the rest of the world our news -- though Brent has gone spreading it around on his facebook (probably looking for sympathy when he did this to himself) and tonight I had a very awkward surprise visit from his mother. Basically, she made me feel like a toad, like it was all my fault this is happening and that she could tell I'm unhappy. It was totally un-called for in my eyes. I never did anything to deserve this kind of treatment, I basically WANT more in life and Brent can't give me more at all because he doesn't care or love me the sameway and it has shown over the past 2 years maybe even more.

    Anyways, good-bye, good-luck, maybe I'll be back in afew years, who knows. For now, I'm just going to move on with my life and start a new chapter.
    (m/c 04/04/2008 & 02/12/2010)

  2. #2
    Community Host Lizbet22's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    A beautiful and quiet village in Essex


    Whatever I write will be insignificant!
    I am so dreadfully sorry.
    I wish I could be there for you...well I can so in a minute I'll pm you..
    I just am at a loss for words and feel quite helpless with them.

    all my thoughts and prayers are with you that you will get through this with the least amount of damage possible.

    I hope that he at least becomes civil enough to make arrangements for the dog..if not...well thats just petty.
    Although from what you say hes that anyway..I am sure he is hurting too but to take it out on you...

    Huge hugs to you my lovely one...please stay in touch...let us know how you are doing?
    Would be a shame to loose you completely.
    Moderator of
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  3. #3
    Posting Addict yipeeladybug's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    Cowtown, Alberta



    I'm so sorry.
    Sophia 41, DH 36

  4. #4
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    Oh my, I am so sorry to hear this. *hugs*

    Men can be idiots sometimes. I'm beginning to think we should strike up and make an Amazonian society with women in charge and the men the slaves.

    I hope you are considering speaking with a lawyer. Even though you aren't married, common law has the same rights now and you are entitled to half of everything. Make sure you get back what you put in those last 4 years.

    On a side note I do know how you feel. My DH acts the same way most of the time (which I believe we've pointed out before).

    Do keep us informed though of how the process is going. Heck - who needs a man for a baby anymore anyway! You could always do it on your own!

    Best of luck and I'm so sorry. Huge hugs and I know you have a lot of courage for doing this.
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~

  5. #5
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Edmonton, Alberta


    Shannon. I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know you but I wanted to say that I will be thinking of you. Definitely get in touch with a lawyer - after 1 year of being common law you are considered married by law. Also get it put on your mortgage so that he can't sell the house without you being notified.

    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)

    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  6. #6
    Prolific Poster blissfulliss's Avatar
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    Mar 2009


    Oh Shannon, I am sooo sorry to hear your sad news. Definitely sending prayers your way... Know that you can always come here to vent or gain support if you need it.

    TTC#1 since January 2008
    2009 Dx unexplained infertility
    2010: 2 Clomid+IUI cycles = 2 BFN's
    2011-2013: TTC naturally/JLIH
    11.20.2013 - Unexpected & natural BFP!
    07.16.2013 - Nolan born at 38 weeks, 1 day

  7. #7
    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. My prayers are with you. As for his mother, do not pay any attention to her. This is NOT your fault. A relationship is a 2 way street. Both of you have to give in order to receive. She is only hearing his side of the story, so don't worry what she thinks. I agree with everyone when they say contact an attorney immediately.

  8. #8
    Mega Poster
    Join Date
    Jul 2004


    Oh I'm so terribly sorry!!! I'm sure your future will bring you much better things.


    DD Emily 2/10/05
    DS Sebastian 4/18/14

    *IVF #1: Failed early MC*
    *IVF #2: Baby Cecilia born at 22 weeks.
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  9. #9
    Mega Poster clio's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    Oh Shannon, this is heartbreaking news. I am so sorry. I agree with the others about a lawyer and establishing your common-law rights, and I really hope that you can work it out so you can see or keep Kody. I know exactly how much a pet can mean and how much solace they can bring.

    Please keep in close will feel very strange without you!

  10. #10
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Yonkers, NY


    I dont kno u but remember we are all here for u !! Make sure u make him pay if the mortgage is in your name u are entitled to half ! But make sure u let the bank know you are no longer there just in case he tries to be stupid and not pay ! Good luck to u and pop in once in a while to let us kno how your doing

    TTC #1 since 2/11
    Married to DH Chris since May 23,2011
    April 16 2012- IUI BFP!!!
    Dec 8th 2012 Carter Michael is born 4:53 am at 5lbs 5 oz
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