DH vent please! (long)

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raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347
DH vent please! (long)

I am at my wits end this week. I just don't know what to do with DH! DH will not wake up in the morning and it's becoming a serious anxiety issue for me. It's not new but the last few weeks have been worse than normal.

I hate alarm clocks, always have. The sound of even 1/2 of a second of the alarm clock noise makes me so anxious and stressed it's not even funny. The loudness of it, the sharpness, I just do not like alarm clocks. As a result, I'm a "get up at the last possible moment to be ready for work, turn alarm clock off as soon as it goes off" type of person.

DH on the other hand does not even hear the alarm clock. It could go off for over an hour and he would not hear it. If he does, he often hits snooze or sometimes unconsciously turns it off.

I need a solution to get him up in the morning. I was late every day this week because he would not wake up. I wanted to catch my 5:41 train, but I had to catch the 6:10 train each day because he would not get out of bed. I am supposed to start work at 7AM but I was getting in at 7:20 each day because of the later train.

Lights don't work, sounds don't work, music doesn't work, alarms don't work, taking the covers off him doesn't work. I get up at 4:30AM. I will tell him every 10 minutes to wake up all morning long and most of the time I have to yell at him last minute that I am going to be late for work around 5:55 so he can drive me to the station!

It's actually putting me in tears the last few mornings because I am so stressed about it. I don't have to get up at 4:30, or at least I wouldn't have to if he got up and helped share morning responsibilities. I could get up at 5AM instead of he got up at the same time, made coffee, let the dog out, etc. Instead I have to get up and do all that, PLUS I have to run upstairs every 10 minutes to try and get him up.

I'm not always on this early shift, but next week I am too and I am dreading it.

And no - just leaving and taking the car myself is not an option. I'm too nice to do that. We have one car and when I'm on early shift he has to drive me (no buses available that early) so that he can have the car to get to the station later himself.

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Hmmmm......the only thing I could suggest..and its extreme..and I think I have said it before in joking...but a glass of water over his head!
My mum would do it to my dad...well it was a wet flannel so it didn't get the bed wet...but the shock of that will wake him up and I'm pretty sure he won't want a repeat of it.

But along with that..maybe he should see a doctor if hes sleeping so much and so heavily also. Smile

I hope it gets sorted.
Hate to hear you so stressed.

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

My DH is the same way. The alarm can sound for hours. I try two different things. I become a raging B**ch! I start yelling and going just plain crazy, OR leave him there. I just leave to work on my own. I figured if he can't be responsible enough to get up that's his problem. I need to get to work so let him deal with it. Luckily, I don't need him to get to work, but I do find that he's up once I leave because he knows he won't have anyone to wake him up after.

I feel your pain! Wish I had more suggestions.

blissfulliss's picture
Joined: 03/03/09
Posts: 337

Ooooo, that sounds SOOOOOO frustrating & stressful!!!!
Does your DH get to bed @ a decent time so that he gets a good amount of sleep before having to wake up so early?
I think I have the opposite problem with my DH - he won't GO to bed - he (usually) pops up (after letting his alarm ring on for what seems like forevvver) but because he stays up soooo late gaming, he consistently gets less than a good night's sleep... Sad So I hear ya on that one - it's hard to get to bed early.. hard to wake up early...
I agree tho - if he's sleeping THAT deeply, does he have a sleep disorder or something? Might be worth checking out.... Smile

Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

Sorry to hear about your stress Rachel!! I think one morning you should take the car so he knows how it feels to be dependant on something (the car) and it not be a reliable source of getting to a place on time !! Some times the best way to teach some one a lesson or to ahow them how inconsiderate they are you have to stoop to their level to teach them. I also agree with every one else .. As far as maybe having a sleep disorder. I think he hears the alarm clock and chooses to ignore it because your subconscious is alert when not in REM sleep (sorry psych major ). I would also suggest that you try to figure out another way for you to handle your anxiety because its not good for you esp if you are ttc!Maybe you can change the time on his alarm clock to earlier that it normally is set so by the time her finally gets up , then you will be on time . Good luck to you ! If all else fails .. A bucket of ice cold water WILL DO THE TRICK!

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

Total Lurker here...

You should stop being so nice, especially if it's affecting you so negatively. You are essentially telling him you're not important enough and he can keep screwing you over.

I would 1) leave without him and take the car and make him walk OR 2) walk or buy myself a bike so I didn't have to rely on him.

Either way, there would be no niceties or lovin' or talking until he realized how much he was affecting me and told me why I wasn't important enough to be responsible. Nope, not even close.

I hope you can figure something out quickly.

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

Thanks girls. I talked with DH and we are going to come up with a system next week. Like a three warning system. After three, I leave and he has to bus to work.

I'm not sure it will reduce my stress though....